Chapter 6
“Are you going home for Christmas?” Seb asked. They were sitting on the far side of the lake, away from the general crowd of students. Remus had been on his way back from the library when Seb had shown up with lunch and suggested they go eat by the lake.
“I usually stick around here over break,” Remus said, poking at the stack of books beside him until all the edges lined up with each other.
“Are your friends staying too, then? Or is it just you?” Seb asked.
“A couple stay here,” Remus said, looking down at Seb who was laying on the grass with his eyes shut. The winter sun streaked his brown hair with gold. “Are you staying?”
Seb opened his eyes and shook his head. “I wish I could. My mum throws a massive party on Christmas Eve every year, I can’t miss it.” He paused for a second and sat up. “You could come over.”
Remus blinked. “What, for the party?”
“And for Christmas,” Seb said. “Like other couples do.”
“Couples?” Remus said, trying to wrap his mind around the word. He noticed that it had gotten very quiet. Most of the other students had begun making their way to their afternoon classes.
“Or not, if you want to stay at school that’s fine too,” Seb said, backtracking as fast as he could. “I just thought, we had been seeing each other for a while now—”
“No!” Remus said, causing Seb to recoil slightly. “I mean, yeah, we have, I just—”
“Don’t want to have a boyfriend?” Seb raised his eyebrows. “Listen, Lily told me you were ‘figuring things out.’ If you don’t want to date, that’s fine, I just wish you had said something earlier.”
“That’s—” Remus squeezed his eyes shut so he didn’t have to look at the boy sitting beside him. The idea that Seb might want to actually date him and not just kiss him hadn’t even attempted to cross his mind. And now it was here in the form of a christmas party and spending the winter holiday together. He took a breath to steady himself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think dating was something you wanted.”
“Remus, I brought you lunch to eat out by the lake,” Seb said flatly.
Remus grimaced. “I know. But I’m not really the best person to date.”
“And why’s that?” Seb asked.
“I get sick a lot. And I’m really busy with classwork all the time,” Remus said. He was scrambling for excuses. Seb laughed.
“Is that all?” he said.
It felt like some kind of animal had wormed its way inside of Remus’ chest and started squeezing. Before he could respond he heard someone calling his name from the other side of the lake. It was Peter. James and Sirius were strolling along not far behind him.
“Shit,” Remus said, gathering his book and standing up as quickly as he could. He waved back a little too enthusiastically. Seb gave him a slightly amused glance.
“You’re friends are here,” he said, keeping the distance Remus had put between the two of them as he stood.
“Yeah.” Remus didn’t know what else to say. He heard Seb sigh beside him.
“If you change your mind about the party, let me know.” He turned back towards the castle. Remus turned his attention away from the older boy and back to his friends who had nearly reached him.
“Who was that?” Peter asked.
“A guy from my study group. He needed help writing a paper,” Remus said, turning away from Peter and his questions to greet James and Sirius.
“Moony, you’ll never guess what just happened,” Sirius said, grinning dogishly.
“What?” Remus asked.
“Ask loverboy over there.” Sirius nodded his head in James’s direction.
“Evans sent me a letter back!” James shouted, waving the letter around above his head.
“That’s seven galleons, Padfoot,” Remus said, laughing and pushing back any thoughts about Seb and his mum's Christmas party. Sirius groaned and dug around in his pockets for the coins.
“I thought you’d forgotten about that,” he said, dropping them into Remus’ outstretched hands. Peter was giggling between the two of them.
“Go on, then. What’s it say?” Remus asked. James sat cross legged in the grass and opened up the envelope.
“You don’t know it by heart yet? You read it about fifty times on the way down here,” Sirius teased, sprawling out on the ground beside him and losing his scarf in the process. Remus grabbed it before it could get lost.
“He almost fell down the stairs,” Peter said as he sat down carefully on the other side of James. Remus put his books down and sat across from Sirius.
“I did not!” James said, indignant. He unfolded the letter carefully, scanning it once as he did so. Remus caught Sirius's eye and immediately looked away before he could start laughing. James cleared his throat loudly and gave them a pointed look. “She goes on a bit about how she hopes this doesn’t inflate my ego too much, but the general message is that she liked my letter and she asked if I liked the dungbombs.”
“Have you written her back yet?” Remus asked, grinning.
“I’m waiting a mature amount of time before writing her back,” James said, sticking his nose in the air and doing his best to ignore Sirius’s laughter.
“It was my suggestion,” Peter said.
“A mature amount of time as in, you’ll be sneaking out tonight with roses and a box of chocolates to serenade her from the bottom of the girls dormitory steps?” Remus smirked. James stood with his hands on his hips.
“A mature amount of time as in, I'll send her back a perfectly normal letter after break starts.” His expression turned dreamy. “It’ll get to her house Christmas morning just when she’s waking up and—.”
Remus, Sirius, and Peter busted out laughing. James gave them all a withering look.
"You lot don't know what the definition of romance is," he said.
“And you know what the definition of a perfectly normal letter is, Prongs,” Sirius said.
“Speaking of break,” Peter interrupted before the bickering could continue. “I’m going home this year. We’re taking a family trip to Glasgow because mum wants to see her brother.”
“The one she hasn’t spoken to in twenty years?” Sirius asked.
“Yeah. I guess they’ve made up,” Peter said, shrugging his shoulders and looking extremely forlorn.
“I won’t be here either. We have a family reunion every ten years or so and we’re doing it on Christmas this year,” James said, sitting back down and carefully tucking Lily’s letter into his coat pocket.
“Where’ll that be at? There’s no way the whole Potter bloodline can fit into your mum and dad's house,” Remus asked.
“I think we’re going to the beach,” James said.
“In winter?” Sirius said, frowning. James shrugged. “Well, I’ll be here. What about you, Moony?”
Remus hesitated. He could tell them all right now that he wasn’t actually dating Marina Edgecombe, he was dating Sebastian Cross and spending the winter holiday at his house and going to his mum’s massive Christmas party on Christmas Eve. But he wasn’t dating Sebastian Cross and he wasn’t spending the winter holiday at anyone's house and he wasn't going to any Christmas parties. He was sitting in the grass dithering over a boy he had already rejected. The tight feeling in his chest was starting to return.
“I’m staying here, of course,” he said before he could think about it anymore. Sirius grinned at him and Remus couldn’t help but smile back.
“Expect lots of mail, then, you three. I’ve got you at least ten presents each,” James joked.
Remus checked his watch. “We’re going to be late for herbology if we don’t hurry.”
James and Sirius led the way, practically skipping down to the greenhouses and singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs. Remus and Peter followed, laughing so hard they could barely walk at how badly they did at singing Frosty the Snowman in a round.