-Regulus Arcturus Black-
-POV The night he left 1977-
Steel grey eyes stared down at the page in his hand a quill in his other. How would he write this? Sirius didn’t know the answer to that, he never was one to think ahead. So instead of thinking Sirius let his hand squrawl out the message on the parchment Infront of him.
Dear Regulus. It started in messy writing.
I know you will hate me for this, but it will be better for you if I never return to this place. It continued Sirius’s steel eyes filling with unshed tears.
I wish I could take you with me, but you know I can’t. I love you I always will, please stay safe. It ended shortly with a simple squrawl of his name at the bottom.
Sirius didn’t look it over he had wasted enough time already. Sirius grabbed his Hogwarts trunk from beside him and ran from Regulus’s room and far away from Grimaud place
-POV three weeks later Summer Holidays 1977 -
Regulus sat in his room holding his knees to his chest as he cried softly. How could Sirius leave him with these people. He knew what they would do to him, but he still left.
Regulus lifted his head to gaze around his room, the only words you could use to describe it are dark and gloomy. Since Sirius had left their parents had locked Regulus up here. It had been almost thee weeks and they were not relenting on it, the only contact Regulus had now was with Kreature his house elf.
Regulus felt many things, the main thing he felt right now was anger. Unbelievable anger towards his brother, his family, everything.
Regulus Stood from his bed his eyes still stinging as he sat at his oak desk pulling parchment and a quill out.
He wrote simply on the page with an elegant squawl.
Yes, I do hate you. Regulus opened his owls cage next to him and opened the window Infront of him. “Sirius” The pure black bird understood and grabbed the letter setting off on its journey.
Regulus would never hear back from Sirius after that.
-POV September 1st 1978-
The long red steam train let out a long whistle as a warning to the students and parents of platform 9¾ Sirius looked around with a large smile looking like any other 17-year-old. Sirius laughed with James and James’ parents Fleamont and Euphemia.
In the corner of Sirius’s eye stood a boy in an all-black suit his skin as pale as porcelain and downcast grey eyes. Sirius stared at his brother who stood with their parents Orion and Walburga, their parents seemed to be lecturing Regulus about what Sirius didn’t know.
Regulus’ eyes lifted suddenly and connected with Sirius’ they stared unmoving before a scowl appeared on his younger brother’s face. Sirius stood shocked as Regulus turned and went onto the large crimson train, Sirius’ train of thought was interrupted when James poked his ribs with his elbow. ‘We gotta get on the train Pads’ Sirius turned and nodded with a large doggish grin, “Yeah let’s go Prongs don’t wanna keep Mooney and Wormy waiting’ James and Sirius laughed before saying goodbye to Fleamont and Euphemia.
As they sat in one of the train compartments even with Moony, Wormtail and Prongs, Sirius couldn’t get his mind off the look Regulus had given him, one of pure betrayal.
-POV Hogwarts Hallways 16th of September 1978-
Regulus walked slowly down the hallway taking his time while on his prefect duties, he didn’t want to go back to his dorm not yet. That summer had been his most gruesome yet, his parents had informed him that he would be getting the dark mark on Yule.
A day that was supposed to be happy would be turned sour once again by his family.
With his robes billowing behind him Regulus made his way down the hall and turned his eyes falling upon his idiot brother and his brothers two friends.
‘Sirius’ Regulus drawled; the said boy turned quickly on his heel to look at the younger boy. ‘Regulus’ he breathed ‘I thought you were a teacher’ Sirius laughed half-heartedly ‘Why are you out of bed’ Regulus got straight to the point, ‘Well- um, we were- um’ Sirius tried to protest. Regulus just raised a tired hand ‘I don’t care just go to bed, and ten points from Gryffindor’ Regulus turned and walked away faster than he had been before.
A soft ‘thank you’ was heard echoing down the hallways almost a whisper, but Regulus didn’t care.
-POV Hogwarts December 17th, 1978-
Regulus stood on the platform once again going home for Yule, this time would be worse than the last though. Regulus sighed as he jumped into a compartment on his own, wanting a little peace before the storm.
Regulus sat with his owl next to him, still a pure black as all those years ago when Regulus had bought him. Regulus felt even worse than he had a couple weeks ago, he had found out his brother was dating Remus Lupin, and how did he figure that out? Well he had come across them snogging in a hallway after curfew.
Regulus wasn’t mad that his brother was gay or bi or whatever, he wasn’t even mad about the fact that Sirius was dating Lupin a half-blood. No he was upset and mad about the fact Sirius didn’t tell him, while he knew Sirius and him didn’t have a good relationship it hurt.
Regulus hadn’t interrupted their alone time last night deciding to walk away instead.
Regulus took a piece of parchment and a quill out of his school bag and started to write a letter knowing his mother and father would not allow him to send any letters over the holidays.
Sirius, he wrote.
I wish we could talk as we use to, then maybe we wouldn’t always be at odds, I wish I could hug you like true brothers do. I want you to be there for me like you were when we were little. I miss you.
Regulus- He ended it. Regulus lifted the letter with his wand under it and whispered incendio the letter went up in flames quickly turning into a small pile of ash on his lap.
-POV Hogwarts January 11th, 1979-
Regulus sat in the boy’s bathroom his arms circled around his knees and his head resting on them, this is how it had been since he had come back from Yule. He would go to his classes act as if nothing was wrong skip lunch go to this bathroom and cry, before going back to his classes.
But today someone had to walk in, Regulus had not been paying attention to his surroundings, so he hadn’t noticed the heavy footsteps coming into the bathroom.
‘Regulus?’ A soft confused voice asked Regulus’ head shot up, seeing Sirius and Potter standing there. Regulus quickly wiped his face on his robes and stood up shakily ‘Leave me alone Sirius’ He hoarsely said.
Regulus’ arm was burning it had been for weeks since it was placed there. ‘Regulus’ Sirius’ soft voice said Regulus stood there not moving a muscle as his anger began to flare.
When Regulus didn’t reply Sirius took slow steps forward while James stood still next to the door. Sirius softly grabbed Regulus’ left arm making the boy flinch and almost punch Sirius.
‘Let go of me’ Regulus hissed out his eyes staring directly at Sirius’ glaring. ‘no something is wrong with your arm’ Sirius said defensively.
‘Nothing is wrong with my arm so let me go’ Sirius stared at his brother before shaking his head ‘I can’t do that’ Suddenly Regulus’ sleeve was pulled up revealing his mark. The deep disgusting, black mark of his “lord”
‘Regulus’ Sirius’ voice was dangerously close to growling ‘What did you do’ He growled once again.
‘Like you would care, you haven’t cared since you left’ Regulus spat yanking his arm from Sirius and pulling down his sleeve.
‘I do care you stupid boy! I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t!’ Sirius yelled making Regulus glare at him.
‘If you cared you wouldn’t have left me there’ Sirius glared back at his brother ‘You know I had to leave stop being a child Reg’ Regulus’ anger peeked at that moment.
Regulus laughed at his brother. ‘You think I’M the child in this situation?! You really are dumb aren’t you, and you know what. You said in your letter all those years ago I would hate you. And guess what I do’ Regulus seethed grabbing his bag and bolting out of the room to his next class.
Sirius stood there his head bowed down James walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. ‘It’ll get better Pads, lets go get Moony yeah’ Sirius shook his head as tears began to pour from his eyes.
‘No, they’ve got him now and he hates me. I don’t think it’ll ever get better’ James nodded before pulling his best friend into a strong hug. ‘Let’s go find Moony and you can skip classes yeah’ Sirius nodded before allowing himself to be pulled along by James.
-POV 1979 Grimauld place-
Regulus sat there once again at his oak desk Infront of his window. Regulus grabbed a piece of parchment and his quill like many times before.
Regulus dipped his quill in his ink pot and began his letter. He wrote his last words quickly before placing the letter into an envelope closing it with his wax seal an elegant looking RAB imprinting into it. ‘Kreature’ Regulus called as the small, large eared long nosed creature popped into the room. ‘Place this on Sirius’ old desk and make sure no one reads it unless it is him’ Kreature nodded before popping out once again. Regulus turned and looked out of his window. Today would be the day.
-POV 1979 the lake-
The feeling of being dragged under the water wasn’t as scary as Regulus had thought it would be. Sure, he was scared but he had nothing left in his life, not anymore.
Sirius was happy he had gotten married to Lupin in late September, Sirius’ friends James and Lilly had gotten married some months before that and from his knowledge were thinking of trying for a baby. Regulus’ own “friends” wouldn’t care when they found out he was dead, his parents would be mad about not having a respectable heir. The only one who would truly miss him was Kreature, Regulus’ one true friend.
Regulus started to struggle as his lungs became restricted, his body was burning as he reached one arm up to the light above. Regulus’ last thought was hoping that Sirius would read his letter. before Regulus’ body went limp in the arms of the inferi around him.
-POV 1981 October 31st-
A figure could be seen running down the street franticly trying to escape the taller male after him. ‘Stop Pettigrew!’ Sirius yelled his wand held tightly in his hand as he fired spells at said man’s feet.
Pettigrew suddenly came to a stop in the middle of a muggle street. Pettigrew turned to face his oldest friend as he too came to a stop.
‘Pettigrew you are under arrest for-‘ Sirius was cut off as Pettigrew waved with a large smile, before cutting his finger off and exploding the street.
Sirius was thrown into a near by building along with several muggles as he watched his old friend turn into a rat and scurry away.
Sirius sat there in disbelief before he stared to laugh. Everything catching up with him, his grief, his anger, Sirius sat there laughing like a lunatic repeating the words ‘I killed them’ over and over again like a mantra.
Soon wizard Auror’s appeared and began obliviating people. Head Auror Kingsley walked up to his friend and stared at the laughing man.
‘Sirius Black you are to be put in Azkaban for the murder of Lily and James Potter’ Sirius didn’t even react as they moved him.
Soon enough Sirius sat in a small, lonely cell his laughing had died out and he had begun crying violently.
-POV 1994 Grimauld place-
Remus sat cuddled with his husband holding on tightly as if he would disappear at any given moment.
‘I’m not leaving anytime soon Moony’ Sirius whispered cuddling his husbands head into his chest. “We should get you fed’ Remus said sitting up finally, Sirius nodded with a grin ‘Hm I am starving’
Sirius sat up on his bed, it hadn’t been used since 1977 and it still felt brand new. Looking around Sirius’ eyes landed on his old desk, a almost new crisp letter laid on top of it. ‘Hey Remus’ Sirius called ‘Yes Sirius?’ He called back.
‘Did you leave a letter here?’ a quick no was called back as Sirius picked up the letter. Remus reappeared in the room looking over Sirius’ shoulder.
‘RAB?’
Sirius went rigid ‘That’s Regulus’ seal’ Sirius tore the letter open pulling out the parchment.
Sirius. It started in Regulus’ signature handwriting.
This will be the last letter I ever write; I fear. ‘Last letter?’ Sirius questioned Remus poked him to continue.
As you know I am a death eater and I have been since my 6th year. I’m sure you remember me crying in that bathroom, but what I didn’t have time to explain was I was forced to.
You might not believe me, and I understand, I just wish for you to listen. ‘Oh my god’ Sirius whispered.
I had known it was a mistake taking that mark the second his wand was laid on me but by then I could not stop it, it would have been a death sentence, not that me having it now isn’t.
I quickly found that Voldemort favored the Blacks. I was quickly adapted to his inner circle with our parents, Bella, Narcisa and the rest of our family. In one of these meetings, I found that the reason Voldemort is still alive is because he made these, Horcruxes.
They are dark magic very dark, you split your soul in half with every one you make, and he chose to make 7 only succeeding in 6 so far.
He indulged with us what his horcruxes are, not thinking that one of us would use it agenst him. I found that one was a locket specifically the Slytherin locket. I have been looking for months where he hid it and I have found it.
I will be going tonight to attempt to destroy it. I do not know if I will survive as Voldemort said he had placed “protections” around them. But if I do not make it back, I want you to know a few things. Sirius stood tears in his eyes as Remus hugged him from behind ‘He’s dead?’ Sirius asked Remus nodded.
‘You knew?’ again Remus nodded ‘I saw it in the paper. I thought you would have saw it but obviously not.’
‘How long?’ Sirius hiccupped ‘The year we got married’ Sirius broke down his brother had been dead for over fifteen(15) years and never knew.
‘Do you want me to continue reading it to you?’ Sirius nodded his face buried in Remus’s chest.
‘First, I know you thought you were slick but I knew about you and Remus, I found out winter of sixth year your seventh. And I’m happy for you. When I found out I was sad and angry that you didn’t tell me, but I understand now that I made it seem like I hated you.
I found out you got married two months ago, sort of sad I didn’t get to see you get married but I know why you didn’t invite me. I hope you like the gift I sent, it was the Queen mix tape, I hope you didn’t already have it. I just knew you both liked them, so I bought it.’
‘That was him?’ Sirius sobbed ‘I thought it was James or something’ he continued sobbing holding onto Remus tightly.
‘Do you want me to continue?’ Sirius nodded trying to calm down.
‘Second I want to tell you how proud I am that you finally got your Auror license never thought you could do it with how… much of a dumbass you were. But I’m happy you found something that you love doing (other than Lupin or is it Lupin-Black now?)’
Remus chuckled a little Sirius joining in.
‘I also wanted to say I forgive you for leaving. I was an angry child when I told you those things in the bathroom. But now I realize you really cared, and I missed a huge opportunity of having you as my brother again. I want you to know all I ever thought when I saw you around the castle was how much I wished I could hug you like we use to and how I wished we could sit down together Infront of a fire and drink hot chocolate while confessing random things to each other.
But I knew I couldn’t ask that of you. Not when I saw how happy you were with them. You might not have seen me as family but I knew you saw them as yours. James was your brother not me, and I understand.
I have one last thing to say before I go though.
I regret what I said in that letter the weeks after you left I don’t hate you I never have and I don’t think I ever will.
-Regulus, A, Black’ Remus trailed off.
Sirius stood there cradled to Remus’ chest his eyes no longer being able to produce tears.
‘Oh Sirius’ Remus whispered cuddling him closer as his shoulders began to shake. ‘I thought he hated me… I thought- I thought-‘ Sirius trailed off his voice shaking.
‘I know love’ Remus comforted.
Next to them stood a male in his late teens his hair a midnight black and his eyes a green/ grey. The man stood with a soft smile knowing his brother had finally read his letter after the many years.
The man even though invisible to them walked over and hugged his brother tightly, well as tightly as a ghost could before whispering in his ear ‘I didn’t ever hate you, I loved you Sirius’
Sirius stilled feeling another person hugging him he turned around quickly after hearing Regulus’ voice. ‘Oh Reg’ Sirius said as he once again cried.
-20/ 03/ 22-