Bad Omens - The Marauders
Track Breakdown with The Marauders
November 13
Bad Omens
The Marauders
A Side:
Talk Fast
Wildflower
Lovers Rock feat. Marlene McKinnon
If Walls Could Talk
Bad Omens
Friends
People Watching
B Side:
The Archer
Older feat. Benjy Fenwick
Fight or Flight
Afraid
Not In The Same Way
Take Me to Church
Afterglow
Deluxe Tracks:
Are We Still Friends?
We’ll Never Have Sex feat. Regulus Black
Astronomy
Seven feat. Emmeline Vance
Daylight
Track One: Talk Fast
Written by: Sirius Black + Peter Pettigrew
I don’t wanna think about a moment with you//I'm kinda hoping for forever//I've been dreaming 'bout a knitted sweater for two//Goddamnit, we look good together//Would you wait, a moment?//They're ringing the bell for last call?//Would you wait, a moment?//Just give me a second, that's all//Oh-oh, talk fast, romance//Oh-oh, won't last, I'm okay with that//Oh-oh, burn, crash, romance//Oh-oh, I'll take what I can get from you//Talk fast, romance//Oh-oh, won't last, I'm okay with that//Oh-oh, burn, crash, romance//Oh-oh, I'll take what I can get from you//Leave all your indecisions with you at home//Don't say you're doing me a favor//Why so complicated, won't you throw me a bone?//I want your love in every flavor//Would you wait, a moment?//They're ringing the bell for last call//Would you wait, a moment?//Just give me a second, that's all//Oh-oh, talk fast, romance//Oh-oh, won't last, I'm okay with that//Oh-oh, burn, crash, romance//Oh-oh, I'll take what I can get from you//Talk fast, romance//Oh-oh, won't last, I'm okay with that//Oh-oh, burn, crash, romance//Oh-oh, I'll take what I can get from you//Oh-oh, oh-oh, ringing the bell for last call//Oh-oh, oh-oh, ringing the bell for last call//Oh-oh, oh-oh, ringing the bell for last call//Oh-oh, oh-oh, ringing the bell for last call//Talk fast, romance//Oh-oh, talk fast, romance//Oh-oh, won't last, I'm okay with that//Oh-oh, burn, crash, romance//Oh-oh, I'll take what I can get from you//Talk fast, romance//Oh-oh, won't last, I'm okay with that//Oh-oh, burn, crash, romance//Oh-oh, I'll take what I can get from you//Talk fast, oh, oh//Won't last, oh, oh//Burn, crash, oh, oh//Talk fast, oh, oh
P: This song was written a long time ago. Before I was with my current partner, I had a sort of… infatuation with them. There was a flirtation there, and I was just thinking like I will literally take whatever I can get. Like I think when we first got together, or right before, I said to him ‘can we just do this?’ I don’t know, I didn’t want to think too deeply about it anymore, about the implications of our relationship.
S: I mean, Pete really said it all. For me the song was just something fast and hard, something that reflected the time in our life where we were touring and just so busy with music. It’s about being impatient and just jumping in because you can. I think all of us are guilty of thinking too much, especially in relationships. It’s not an easy lifestyle to maintain something healthy, but there came a point where I was like ‘fuck it’, you know? Life is short, so let’s just jump in and deal with the consequences later.
Track Two: Wildflower
Written by: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter
Wildflower//Wildflower//I hear you callin' out my name//I love the sound, I love the taste//And I can see it in your face//You've got a side you can't explain//You're tellin' me, tellin' me, tellin' me you wanna come over//You wanna be, wanna be, wanna be, wanna be closer//I love it when you wear your hair down over your shoulder//'Cause I wanna hold ya//'Cause I know where tonight is going//You're the only one who makes me//Every time we//I'll tell you what I like//My wildflower//You're the only one who makes me//Every time we//I'll tell you what I like//My wildflower//You know you are my favorite fantasy//A fatal love song//Waterfall is overflowin'//You're the only one who makes me//Every time we//I'll tell you what I like//My wildflower//I see the color in your face//It makes me smile, it makes me shake (ooh)//I see the shadow in my brain//And I like its look, and I like its shape (ooh)//You're tellin' me, tellin' me, tellin' me you wanna come over//You wanna be, wanna be, wanna be, wanna be closer//I love it when you wear your hair down over your shoulder//'Cause I wanna hold ya//'Cause I know where tonight is going//You're the only one who makes me//Every time we//I'll tell you what I like//My wildflower//You're the only one who makes me//Every time we//I'll tell you what I like//My wildflower//You know you are my favorite fantasy//A fatal love song//Waterfall is overflowin'//You're the only one who makes me//Every time we//I'll tell you what I like//My wildflower
J: We all wrote wildflower. It was one of the ones that we wrote specifically for the album, and we all really liked the harmonies that we were able to create with this song.
S: To me this song is just like… it’s about your person, and all of the small, inconsequential things that they do that you just think about forever. The way they say your name, the way they do their hair; these were some of the ones we used in the song and it’s like every little thing they do is beautiful.
R: Wildflower is… I really like this one. I wrote it with Sirius in mind, and just the way he is in everything he does is different. And it’s sort of captivating, it was really important to me that it sounded like that too. The harmonies at the beginning just draw you in and entrance you, and that’s sort of how I feel listening to Sirius. Also the wildflower itself is so many things, and they’re just pretty to look at.
P: The chorus of this song was my idea, I would just like to say. I’ve already heard so, so many variations of what the little pauses are in the song, the places where we omitted the words. I will never confirm nor deny, but a lot of people have the right idea.
Track Three: Lovers Rock feat. Marlene McKinnon
Written by: Sirius Black + Remus Lupin
Are you sick of me?//Would you like to be?//I'm trying to tell you something//Something that I already said//You like a pretty boy//With a pretty voice//Who is trying to sell you something//Something that you already have//But if you're too drunk to drive//And the music is right//She might let you stay//But just for the night//And if she grabs for your hand//And drags you along//She might want a kiss//Before the end of this song//Because love can burn like a cigarette//And leave you alone with nothing//And leave you alone with nothing//While the others talk//We were listening to lovers rock//In her bedroom//In her bedroom//And if you start to kiss//And the record skips//Flip it over//And sit a little closer//But if you're too drunk to drive//And the music is right//She might let you stay//But just for the night//And if she grabs for your hand//And drags you along//She might want a kiss//Before the end of this song//Because love can burn like a cigarette//And leave you alone with nothing//And leave you alone with nothing
S: Moony and I wrote this song together. It was sort of last minute, I guess. We wrote it just before we recorded it, but it’s one of my favorites on the album. It’s about those hidden moments that you steal with the person you love, you know? Finding any excuse to stay in each other’s company and sharing something intimate. The song itself feels intimate, like a little secret between lovers. That’s why we had Marlene on the song. I thought it could use a bit of a softer touch, and none of our voices could have melted together as well in her verses.
R: Yeah, what Sirius said. It’s like a little secret and the beginnings of something new where everything gives you butterflies. Marlene brought the song to a new level though and made it feel… older. I don’t know if that’s the word, but there’s something vintage about the song that her voice brought. It feels nostalgic to me too, like looking back on this younger version of a couple when they’re older. There’s the line that Sirius wrote ‘are you sick of me//would you like to be?’ It’s that line at the beginning that made me love the song. Being granted the opportunity to spend so much time with this one person that you do get a little sick of them. It’s romantic.
S: It’s a romantic song. It reminds me of when we were in school. Remus and I shared a room, and after Pete and James fell asleep we would sit by the window and just listen to music quietly. Remus usually had a Bowie song he wanted to show me, and I would find a new artist every week that I just adored. Anyway, we would have to sit close to share headphones and listen to music. Those were our stolen moments.
Track Four: If Walls Could Talk
Written by: Remus Lupin + Sirius Black
Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard//So if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word//Yeah, when the doors are all closing//It's bound to get loud//'Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound//Oh, not everything is so primitive//Oh, but I'm giving in//If these walls could talk//I'd hope they wouldn't say anything//Because they've seen way too many things//'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling//Yeah, we'd fall from grace//If these walls could talk//I'd hope they wouldn't say anything//Because they've seen way too many things//'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling//Yeah, we'd fall from grace//If these walls could talk//If these walls could talk//If these walls could talk//I love your hair in your face//I wouldn't dare let you down//Don't let that class go to waste//Oh, you're a queen but uncrowned//Oh, not everything is so primitive//Oh, but I'm giving in// If these walls could talk
S: This song is about me! Remus wrote it about me!
R: … He’s right.
S: It’s also about Remus though, the parts I wrote anyway.
J: This might be the hottest song on the album, I think. Like it just sounds like sex.
R: I don’t think the meaning is hard to ascertain. What happens in those four walls stays there, and it’s a good thing the walls can’t talk.
P: It’s about sex. That’s literally it. I can’t wait to play this one live though, and the drums are just so fucking good. It’s going to be amazing.
Track Five: Bad Omens
Written by: Remus Lupin + James Potter
So this is where I am//Hanging on a feeling//Driving through the valley just to chase the pain again//So this is where we are//I should've seen it comin'//Every time we say goodbye, I say hello again//I cried in your dark brown eyes//For the thousandth time//'Cause you love somebody//I died when you left that night//For the thousandth time//'Cause you love somebody else//I tried to stop the door as it was closin'//It was closin'//Can't help the way I keep ignorin' every omen//Every omen//Heaven knows I should let go//It's nothing that I don't already know//I kiss you on your neck (Oh-na-na)//You were starin' at the ceiling (Oh-na-na)//I should've known right then and there you were a runaway (Oh-na-na)//Oh, just make it go away (Oh-na-na)//Can you help me rearrange it? (Oh-na-na)//I'm still makin' sense of having nothing left to save//I cried in your dark brown eyes//For the thousandth time//'Cause you love somebody//I died//when you left that night//For the thousandth time//'Cause you love somebody else//I tried to stop the door as it was closin'//It was closin'//Can't help the way I keep ignorin' every omen//Every omen//Heaven knows I should let go//It's nothing that I don't already know//We go 'round again, we jump back in bed//That's what you do when you love somebody//These bad omens, I look right through them//That's what you do when you love somebody//We go 'round again, we jump back in bed//That's what you do when you love somebody//These bad omens, I look right through them//That's what you do when you love somebody//Else (When you love somebody)//Else (When you love somebody)
J: This song caused a lot of arguments, actually. I mean me and Remus wrote it before him and Sirius got together, and before me and Regulus were really official. There was a period of time on our last tour where we were all having some issues, and this song was a healthy outlet. But… I mean it’s basically another way to say red flags, and everyone has red flags. But sometimes we ignore those things even if we know they could be bad for us.
R: There was a lot of jealousy flying around at this time too. It was hard to see people throwing themselves at Sirius every night and not being able to do anything about it. I felt like we just kept going back and forth, tip-toeing around each other and getting close but never close enough.
S: We’re happily in love now though. It’s all resolved.
R: Yes, I thought that was implied.
J: For me it was kind of like, no matter what this person does, it’s them. You know? Rationality sort of left my head for a long time, and there was a period for a couple of weeks where it was radio silence from Regulus’ side, and I didn’t know what to do. All I knew is that I would have done anything to fix it, it didn’t really matter what was good for me at that time.
Track Six: Friends
Written by: James Potter + Peter Pettigrew
Babe, tell me what you're doing on the other side//And tell, just tell me what you're doing with that other guy//'Cause I ain't got patience to slow down the pace//All your girlfriends are wasted//They need it, they chase it//Face it, you want it, you crave it//Believe when I say that you'll know once you taste it//All of your friends have been here for too long//They must be waiting for you to move on (woo)//Babe, I'm not with it, I'm way too far gone//I'm not ready, eyes heavy now (woo)//Heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved//Running in circles, now look what you've done (woo)//Give you my word as you take it and run//Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now//Just give me some time and space to realize//That you, were busy lying, sleeping 'round with other guys//And what the hell were we?//Tell me we weren't just friends//This doesn't make much sense, no//But I'm not hurt, I'm tense//'Cause I'll be fine without you, babe (woo)//All of your friends have been here for too long//They must be waiting for you to move on (woo)//Babe, I'm not with it, I'm way too far gone//I'm not ready, eyes heavy now//Heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved//Running in circles, now look what you've done (woo)//Give you my word as you take it and run//Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now (woo)//Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now//I'm not ready, eyes heavy now//Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now (woo)
J: Oh, God. I feel like I need a disclaimer that I am so in love with Regulus Black. We just weren’t great at communication in the beginning, and this is a reflection of that. I was so confused as to what we were doing. I mean it was no secret that we liked each other, it was impossible to hide. But we weren’t making any progress, and I was confused.
P: This song is sort of like after a friends with benefits situation where feelings were obviously developed but then denied. It’s like ‘well what the fuck?’
J: Yeah, exactly. Sort of like ‘I know I’m not imagining this, so what are we doing?’ And even like Regulus’ friends were ignoring me, and it was just a very confusing time for everyone involved.
P: This song is also very sexy though. The guitar is so hot, I don’t know how else to explain it. It leans a lot more into the rock genre, and is also going to be so fun to play live.
Track Seven: People Watching
Written by: James Potter
That wasn't funny but she laughed so hard, she almost cried//They're counting months they've been together, almost 49//He's making fun of how she acted 'round the holidays//She wears a ring, but they tell people that they're not engaged//They met in class for metaphysical philosophy//He tells his friends, "I like her 'cause she's so much smarter than me"//They're having talks about their futures until 4:00 a.m.//And I'm happy for them (and I'm happy for them)//But I wanna feel all that love and emotion//Be that attached to the person I'm holding//Someday, I'll be falling without caution//But for now, I'm only people watching//I'm only looking just to live through you vicariously//I've never really been in love, not seriously//I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence//Next one I choose to trust, I hope I use some common sense//But I cut people out like tags on my clothing//I end up all alone but I still keep hoping//I wanna feel all that love and emotion//Be that attached to the person I'm holding//Someday, I'll be fallin' without caution//But for now, I'm only people watching
J: People Watching almost didn’t make the album, actually. I didn’t want to release it, or even show it to the guys at first. It’s a very personal song to me. In the past year or so I’ve realized a lot about myself and my sexuality. I’m demisexual, but for a long time I didn’t know that, I didn’t have a word for it or even a way to express what I was feeling. I don’t know, I thought something was wrong with me for a while. I didn’t develop crushes on people the way I saw everyone else doing, and I didn’t get it. That’s sorta what this song is about too, seeing everyone around me falling in love while I just wasn’t. Now I know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way I am, or the way anyone is. Everyone experiences romance and love differently. But this song was also really therapeutic to write because I’d never been able to express myself like this before.
S: It’s one of the rawest tracks, I think. The whole album is raw in a way we’ve never really explored before, much more personal, but James really put his all into this song, and it’s incredible. I cried the first time I heard it.
P: Immediately I knew it needed to be on the album. I think it could help a lot of people, and it’s relatable in a lot of ways. I know that I related to it for a completely different reason than James. I grew up fat, I wasn’t desirable in the eyes of society, and I hated myself for it for a long time. And now I love myself, and I’ve found people who love me for me.
Track Eight: The Archer
Written by: James Potter + Sirius Black
Combat, I'm ready for combat//I say I don't want that, but what if I do?//'Cause cruelty wins in the movies//I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you//Easy they come, easy they go//I jump from the train, I ride off alone//I never grew up, it's getting so old//Help me hold onto you//I've been the archer//I've been the prey//Who could ever leave me, darling?//But who could stay?//Dark side, I search for your dark side//But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?//And I cut off my nose just to spite my face//Then I hate my reflection for years and years//I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost//The room is on fire, invisible smoke//And all of my heroes die all alone//Help me hold onto you//I've been the archer//I've been the prey//Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?//But who could stay?//(I see right through me, I see right through me)//'Cause they see right through me//They see right through me//They see right through//Can you see right through me?//They see right through//They see right through me//I see right through me//I see right through me//All the king's horses, all the king's men//Couldn't put me together again//'Cause all of my enemies started out friends//Help me hold onto you//I've been the archer//I've been the prey//Who could ever leave me, darling?//But who could stay?//(I see right through me, I see right through me)//Who could stay?//Who could stay?//Who could stay?//You could stay//You could stay//You//Combat, I'm ready for combat
S: This song is sad. James came to me with the framework for this song, and that was literally the first thing I said. Well no, first I asked him if he was okay, and then I was like ‘this song is so fucking sad’.
J: This song was just a lot of anxiety. It’s very personal to me, and it’s something that I haven’t been able to say out loud before. I couldn’t even finish writing the song actually. I gave it to Sirius and said ‘this could be something but I can’t get it there’.
R: This song feels like a spiral. You never really get out of it, there’s no resolution, it just keeps going. It’s repetitive but in an intentional way, especially the bridge. Just feeling transparent no matter how much you try to hide yourself. It’s like a struggle to keep people out because you don’t feel good enough, and they sort of let themself into your life.
P: This song made me cry. I’m not even fucking joking. I was like ‘James? What the hell?’ because he just sort of dropped this in our laps one day. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he didn’t need to. He voiced it all in the song.
J: My writing for this album matured a lot, I think. I became more comfortable with my own feelings. Before I always tried to put on this facade of always being happy, of being the sun. But I’m human, and nobody’s happy all the time. It was Regulus that sort of dragged this epiphany out of me, so we can thank him for a lot of the sad fucking songs on this album.
P: Bless Regulus Black, honestly. Worked magic.
R: Oh yeah, he produced all of this too. It was nice working with someone we were already close with, he seemed to know how we wanted things. On this song specifically, I’m pretty sure he just holed himself up in a room with James for a couple of hours and this was what came out of that.
S: Yeah, my little brother. Pretty talented. He gets it from me.
Track Nine: Older feat. Benjy Fenwick
Written by: Peter Pettigrew + Benjy Fenwick
I don't wanna get older//Without your head on my shoulder//On the day that you leave me//I'll forever be bleeding, love//As forever comes closer//Hope the world will spin slower//I don't wanna get older//I don't wanna get older//Stare at the photograph//Suddenly takes me back//The promises roll off your breath//In your cocaine-colored wedding dress//Lost in the day to day//You kiss away the pain//Oh, every time you twist my lips//My dear devoted delicate//It's not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two//Just me//Just you//I don't wanna get older//Without your head on my shoulder//On the day that you leave me//I'll forever be bleeding love//As forever comes closer//Hope the world will spin slower//I don't wanna get older//I don't wanna get older//Our love is tailor-made//But we let the edges fray//Your wicked smile, it says it all//Mixed with my sad and cynical//No tragedy at the end//No nothing Shakespearean//It all comes flooding back again//My dear devoted delicate//It's not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two//Just me//Just you//I don't wanna get older//Without your head on my shoulder//On the day that you leave me//I'll forever be bleeding love//As forever comes closer//Hope the world will spin slower//I don't wanna get older//I don't wanna get older
P: This song started as a joke, okay. Benjy and I were just sitting at home one day, doing nothing, and they were like ‘cheesy 50’s love song’. So immediately we started writing it, and this was the product of it. It’s something different than what we usually sing, so I didn’t think the guys would go for it at all.
S: Peter is so wrong. We loved the song, especially the moment we heard Benjy’s voice. I’m not even kidding when I say that they are fucking angelic, like the voice that comes out of them? Insane.
R: This might be unpopular, but the song is a little bit scary to me. I don’t know, it just feels looming. On the surface it’s a cute love song, but underneath there’s some layers there. It feels like the end of the world, which is intentional. I know Regulus produced it that way, to sound hopeful but leave you feeling empty. It exists in a ‘I cannot live without this person and nothing else matters’ sort of space. Which at first sounds lovely, but the more you think about it the more nihilistic it seems.
J: Leave it to Moony to have existentialism about a love song. It’s so cute, I want to slow dance to it.
P: Well Remus is right, actually. It feels like the end of the world, like something they’re getting closer to. And there’s a lot of fear in the song; fear of loss mostly. I don’t know, I do like that it sounds cute and if you don’t want to think deeply about it then it is just a cutesy love song.
Track Ten: Fight or Flight
Written by: Sirius Black
Something's gotten into you//You don't really look at me the way you used to//And I'm hoping it ain't true//Every single rumor that I've heard of you say//Say you were off with someone that I don't know//Callin' other people on your telephone//Kinda wish I didn't know//Well, fight or flight, I'd rather die//Than have to cry in front of you//Fight or flight, I'd rather lie//Than tell you I'm in love with you//My eyes are welling up as you admit there's someone new//It's my move, fight or flight//You tell me it ain't what it seems//But baby, this is looking like a crime scene//There's clothes thrown on the balcony//And you smell like perfume out a magazine//I'm throwing all your shit out of my window//Telling you I wish that we had never spoke//Baby, I already know//Well, fight or flight, I'd rather die//Than have to cry in front of you//Fight or flight, I'd rather lie//Than tell you I'm in love with you//My eyes are welling up as you admit there's someone new//It's my move, fight or flight//Now there's someone at my door//Someone I've not met before//They've got eyes like mine//A pretty smile and they've been crying for a while//'Cause they also didn't know//That our lover loved us both//Well, fight or flight, I'd rather die//Than have to cry in front of you//Fight or flight, I'd rather lie//Than tell you I'm in love with you//My eyes are welling up as you admit there's someone new//It's my move, fight or flight
S: I wrote this when Remus was being all cold and distant. I was too though, if I’m being honest. I wasn’t raised with a whole lot of love, and it was scary to realize how I felt about my best friend. It was uncharted territory, and I was scared to lose him. Of course, I didn’t tell him any of this for a long while. I was in a state of denial for years, I think.
J: It’s true! They’ve been in love since fourth year and didn’t know it.
S: Yeah, exactly. It was hard watching Remus be with other people before we got together, and I didn’t understand why for a while. All I knew was that I didn’t like it.
R: He’s always been a bit possessive.
S: Mhm. Anyway, I can’t say I relate to the song anymore. In fact I’d rather die than not tell Remus how in love with him I am. But I do really like the way it’s written, and the way different parts of the song feel like a fight or flight. Some parts are really punchy, others are more floaty and lost in space. I thought that that was really cool. I guess I can thank my brother for that. Not that he’ll read this far anyway. But thanks Reggie.
Track Eleven: Afraid
Written by: Remus Lupin
When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//Make that money, fake that dummy, ache my tummy//On the fence, all the time//Paid junk honey, your face so sunny, ain't that funny?//All my friends always lie to me//I know they're thinking//You're too mean, I don't like you//Fuck you, anyway//You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs//It hurts but, I won't fight you//You suck, anyway//You make me want to die, right when I//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might end up being me (being me, being me)//Keep on dreaming, don't stop breathing, fight those demons//Sell your soul, not your whole self//Oh, if they see it when you're sleeping, make them leave it//And I can't even see if there's hope there anymore, so//You're too mean, I don't like you//Fuck you, anyway//You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs//It hurts but, I won't fight you//You suck, anyway//You make me want to die, right when I//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might end up being me (being me, being me)//Being me can only mean feeling scared to breathe//And if you leave me, then I'll be afraid of everything//That makes me anxious, gives me patience//Calms me down, lets me face this, let me sleep//And when I wake up, let me be//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might take my place//When I wake up, I'm afraid//Somebody else might end up being me (being me, being me)
S: First and foremost, I would like to say that this song is completely baseless.
R: It’s not.
S: It is.
R: The song isn’t even completely about Sirius. It’s about my place in life, and in this band, and yeah a little bit in my relationship. I’ve always felt imposter syndrome, especially in my work. Sometimes all of the things we’ve achieved feel so surreal, and I feel so undeserving.
S: See? Totally baseless.
R: And well… it’s Sirius. You know? He’s gorgeous and could have anyone. So knowing that it’s me he wants is scary. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it never does.
S: It also never will because Remus is the love of my life aka the only boy I’ll ever love.
Track Twelve: Not In The Same Way
Written by: James Potter + Remus Lupin
Drink all night, never sleep//You say go, I won't leave//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Rip my heart out and leave//On the floor, watch me bleed//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Not today, mascara's running down your face again//I can feel it coming it down on me//Hurricane insert name//We're good at this game, game//We fuck, then we fight, then you call me a psycho//I walk out the door, but you won't let me let go//Turn right around, throw rocks at your window//But I can't forget you and I'll always let you//Drink all night, never sleep//You say go, I won't leave//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Rip my heart out and leave//On the floor, watch me bleed//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Drink all night, never sleep//You say go, I won't leave//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Rip my heart out and leave//On the floor, watch me bleed//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Not today, I'm waking up to my mistakes again//I know you love to point them out//Baby, I'm sick of sadness and you're sick of Xanax//We're good at this game, game//We fuck, then we fight, then you call me a psycho//I walk out the door, but you won't let me let go//Turn right around, throw rocks at your window//But I can't forget you and I'll always let you//Drink all night, never sleep//You say go, I won't leave//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Rip my heart out and leave//On the floor, watch me bleed//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Drink all night, never sleep//You say go, I won't leave//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Rip my heart out and leave//On the floor, watch me bleed//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//I don't ever wanna lie to you//But I can't say no to you//I know you think I'm bulletproof//But you know how to hurt me too//In the dark, we're black and white//In the morning, colorblind//Leave your mark with every bite//Then everything's alright//When you tell me you love me//Then you wanna leave me//Pouring your pills down the sink//Saying, "It's not what you think"//Don't know if I love you//Don't know if I hate you//But I can't forget you//And I'll always let you//Drink all night, never sleep//You say go, I won't leave//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Rip my heart out and leave//On the floor, watch me bleed//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Drink all night, never sleep//You say go, I won't leave//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way//Rip my heart out and leave//On the floor, watch me bleed//I love you, you love me//But not in the same way
J: After I got outed, I had a lot of problems with alcohol and drugs. I definitely abused them in a way that wasn’t healthy, and I knew that. Everything felt so bad during that time though, it was impossible to be optimistic. It was very self destructive, but I got better thanks to the guys. This song deals with that a little bit though, and how unhealthy coping mechanisms do not make for a healthy relationship.
R: A lot of this song is not based in fact, but at its roots it’s very real. Sometimes the people we love don’t love us in the same way, and that’s hard to deal with. Also the mind games and the lack of clarity make relationships like the one this songs about even more complicated.
J: Yeah, it isn’t anything close to a healthy relationship. It’s like mutually assured destruction. They both wreck each other, and they want to stop, but they can’t.
Track Thirteen: Take Me To Church
Written by: Remus Lupin + Peter Pettigrew
My lover's got humor//She's the giggle at a funeral//Knows everybody's disapproval//I should've worshiped her sooner//If the Heavens ever did speak//She's the last true mouthpiece//Every Sunday's getting more bleak//A fresh poison each week//"We were born sick", you heard them say it//My church offers no absolutes//She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom"//The only Heaven I'll be sent to//Is when I'm alone with you//I was born sick, but I love it//Command me to be well//A-, Amen, Amen, Amen//Take me to church//I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies//I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife//Offer me that deathless death//Good God, let me give you my life//Take me to church//I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies//I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife//Offer me that deathless death//Good God, let me give you my life//If I'm a pagan of the good times//My lover's the sunlight//To keep the Goddess on my side//She demands a sacrifice//Drain the whole sea//Get something shiny//Something meaty for the main course//That's a fine looking high horse//What you got in the stable?//We've a lot of starving faithful//That looks tasty//That looks plenty//This is hungry work//Take me to church//I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies//I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife//Offer me my deathless death//Good God, let me give you my life//Take me to church//I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies//I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife//Offer me my deathless death//Good God, let me give you my life//No masters or kings when the ritual begins//There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin//In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene//Only then I am human//Only then I am clean//Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen//Take me to church//I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies//I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife//Offer me that deathless death//Good God, let me give you my life
R: This was the hardest song to write, I think. It’s one I had been working on for a while. I grew up Catholic because both of my parents are very religious, so I didn’t come out to them for a very long time. My mom, Hope, she was much better about the whole thing; I think part of her always knew. My dad took it a lot worse, I haven’t really spoken to him since. That’s sort of the inspiration for this whole thing, especially the born sick line. The first thing he did when I told him was pray for me to ‘get better’, which is bullshit, honestly.
S: Total fucking bullshit.
P: This song also made me cry. And Regulus produced it to literally sound like a church choir or something, all orchestral. It’s beautiful. Remus wrote almost the entire song, but I came in when he was stuck on the chorus. The song is already pretty long, but it could’ve been like twenty minutes, I swear. Remus had like ten possible verses written, choosing which ones worked best was probably the hardest part.
J: I think this is the most important track on the album, just for its message. We’ve never really released something like this before, mostly because of our management having such a short leash on us and the music we were allowed to share with the world. Now we have the freedom and the confidence to put something so personal out into the world.
Track Fourteen: Afterglow
Written by: Sirius Black + James Potter
I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue//Put you in jail for something you didn’t do//I pinned your hands behind your back, oh//Thought I had reason to attack, but no//Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves//Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us//Why'd I have to break what I love so much?//It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say//Hey, it's all me, in my head//I'm the one who burned us down//But it's not what I meant//Sorry that I hurt you//I don't wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you (Ooh)//I don’t wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)//I need to say, hey, it’s all me, just don't go//Meet me in the afterglow//It's so excruciating to see you low//Just wanna lift you up and not let you go//This ultraviolet morning light below//Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh//I lived like an island, punished you with silence//Went off like sirens, just crying//Why'd I have to break what I love so much?//It’s on your face, don't walk away, I need to say//Hey, it's all me, in my head//I'm the one who burned us down//But it's not what I meant//I'm sorry that I hurt you//I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)//I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)//I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go//Meet me in the afterglow//Tell me that you're still mine//Tell me that we'll be just fine//Even when I lose my mind//I need to say//Tell me that it's not my fault//Tell me that I'm all you want//Even when I break your heart//I need to say//Hey, it's all me, in my head//I'm the one who burned us down//But it's not what I meant//Sorry that I hurt you//I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)//I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)//I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go//Meet me in the afterglow
P: This is another anxiety track but this time disguised as a love song. It’s sort of about this person who needs validation from their partner, and I think there’s a lot of insecurity in the song as well. It’s very ‘words of affirmation’ too, like ‘tell me that I didn’t mess up too bad’.
J: Yeah, it’s sort of like they’re begging this person to tell them that everything is fine. Maybe there was an overreaction or an argument, something like that, and this person is worried that things are over. They just need that assurance that they haven’t ruined everything, that they’re still the same people.
S: I love this song. I know that the message is a little sad, but the track itself feels so upbeat and hopeful, and I really like the juxtaposition of that. It’s sort of a biographical song. I have a tendency to blow up and get irrationally angry. I’ve been working on it though, shout out to my therapist, but there’s still that lingering fear that I could mess everything up. The song is also sort of manipulative. Like this person did actually do something wrong, and they’re just begging their partner to not be upset with them.
Track Fifteen: Are We Still Friends?
Written by: James Potter + Peter Pettigrew
Dream//Just dream//Long ago, long ago, long ago//Dream//Just dream//Dream//Are we still friends? //Can we be friends?//Are we still friends?//I've got to kn-, know//If we can see each other//Shake your hand, say hi//Long ago, long ago, long ago//I can't stop you, I can't rock too//I've been back there and I can not die too//But I've got to know//Are we still friends? Can we be friends?//Are we still friends? Can we be- (can we be friends?)//Are we still friends? Can we be friends? (Yeah)//Are we still friends?//Are we still friends? Are we still friends?//Are we still friends? Are we still friends?//Are we still friends? (Friends, friends)//I said, are we still friends? (Friends, friends)//Are we still friends? (Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends)//Don't get green skin (green skin), keep contact (keep contact)//Don't say, "Goodbye, smell you later" (bye, later)//Nah, I can't//I don't want to end this season on a bad episode, nah//Bouncing off things and you don't know how you fall//Your power is drained, so you cannot go through walls//You're caught in this matrix, don't know where you play it//You hate it, it could be your favorite if you make it your friend//Are we still friends? (This can't end)//Are we still friends? Are we still friends? (I still wanna say hi)//Are we, are we, are we, are we still friends?//Oh whoa//Can't say goodbye (check it, ahh)//Can't say goodbye, goodbye (woo)
S: Shocker, another song about Regulus.
J: I wrote this during our silly ‘will they, won’t they’ phase where I just wanted Regulus in my life in any way, and he seemed to want nothing to do with me. I was like ‘can we at least be friends?’ and Regulus was like ‘no.’ So, that’s where this song came from. I actually really like it, it feels like an interlude, especially with all the instrumentals and with how simple some of the lyrics are. It’s very repetitive, but I like it for that.
P: Regulus hates this song's existence, it’s so funny. The day we recorded it and stuff I don’t think I saw him smile even once.
Track Sixteen: We’ll Never Have Sex feat. Regulus Black
Written by: James Potter + Regulus Black
Depollute me, pretty baby//Suck the rot right out of my bloodstream//Oh, dilute me, gentle angel//Water down what I call being grateful//Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me//Not to take me home//It was simple, it was sweetness//It was good to know//You look perfect, you look different//I don't wonder about your indifference//If I said you could never touch me//You'd come over and say I looked lovely//Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me//Not to make me cry//It was simple, you are sweetness//Let's just sit a while//Depollute me, gentle angel//And I'll feel the sickness less and less//Come and kiss me, pretty baby//Like we'll never have sex
J: I love this song. I wrote it with Regulus one night, after he told me he loved me for the first time. I don’t know, it’s just always been special. He even agreed to sing in it a little bit, which I was so glad about. He has a beautiful voice, but he generally prefers to be behind the scenes. I think it sums up a lot of how I was feeling when I realized just how much he cared for me, it almost scared me a little bit. Like here is this man who loves me and will love me even if I never want sex. It’s a very soft song too, not what we usually write or record, but I thought it was an important one. And even if nobody else likes it, I know what it means to me.
Track Seventeen: Astronomy
Written by: Sirius Black
We drive through the woods, rich neighborhoods to watch//We joked as we looked that they were too good for us//'Cause socially speaking, we were the same//With runaway fathers and mothers who drank//A tale old as time, young love don't last for life//And now I know, now I know//It's time to go, it's time to go//We've traveled the seas, we've ridden the stars//We've seen everything from Saturn to Mars//As much as it seems like you own my heart//It's astronomy, we're two worlds apart//we're two worlds apart//(It's astronomy) we're two worlds apart//From far away, I wish I'd stayed with you//But here, face to face, a stranger that I once knew//I thought, if I wandered, I'd fall back in love//You said, "Distance brings fondness", but guess not with us//The only mistake that we didn't make was run//(Now look what we've done)//We've traveled the seas, we've ridden the stars//We've seen everything from Saturn to Mars//As much as it seems like you own my heart//It's astronomy, we're two worlds apart//we're two worlds apart//Stop trying to keep us alive//You're pointing at stars in the sky that already died//Stop trying to keep us alive//You can't force the stars to align when they've already died//Oh, we've died, ooh-oh-oh//Oh, we've traveled the seas, we've ridden the stars//We've seen everything from Saturn to Mars//As much as it seems like you own my heart//It's astronomy, we're two worlds apart
S: This song has existed for a long time. It almost went on the last album, but I honestly wasn’t ready to put it out into the world. My brother and I used to have a much more strained relationship than we do now, and we didn’t really talk to each other for years. Eventually we both stopped trying to fix it, thinking there was nothing we could do. That’s sort of the ‘Stop trying to keep up alive//You’re pointing at stars that have already died’. I don’t know, it really did feel like we were on separate planets. Now that we’ve reconciled though, I feel better releasing the song. He knows about it, we had a heart to heart when he heard it, and now it’s time for the world to hear it.
Track Eighteen: Seven feat. Emmeline Vance
Written by: James Potter
Please picture me//In the trees//I hit my peak at seven feet//In the swing//Over the creek//I was too scared to jump in//But I, I was high in the sky//With Pennsylvania under me//Are there still beautiful things?//Sweet tea in the summer//Cross your heart, won't tell no other//And though I can't recall your face//I still got love for you//Your braids like a pattern//Love you to the moon and to Saturn//Passed down like folk songs//The love lasts so long//And I've been meaning to tell you//I think your house is haunted//Your dad is always mad and that must be why//And I think you should come live with//Me and we can be pirates//Then you won't have to cry//Or hide in the closet//And just like a folk song//Our love will be passed on//Please picture me//In the weeds//Before I learned civility//I used to scream ferociously//Any time I wanted//I, I//Sweet tea in the summer//Cross my heart, won't tell no other//And though I can't recall your face//I still got love for you//Pack your dolls and a sweater//We'll move to India forever//Passed down like folk songs//Our love lasts so long
J: I wrote this song sort of as an ode to all of my childhood friends. The random kids on my street that I haven’t seen in ten years, and Marlene, and Sirius. Especially Sirius. All of the people I knew as a kid that shaped me, I think. There’s an innocence in the song too, I tried to write it as my younger self. Emmeline’s voice in the song also takes it to another level, something soft and angelic that really adds to the harmonies.
S: I cried for like two hours when James showed me this song. I’m not even joking. I was like ‘Bro? I love you.’ Definitely one of my favorites on the album.
Track Nineteen: Daylight
Written by: Sirius Black
My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in//Everyone looked worse in the light//There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven//I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye//I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you//I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you//I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night//And now I see daylight, I only see daylight//Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky//And so I became the butt of the joke//I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked//Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke//Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down//Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town//Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now//It's brighter now, now//I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you//(I can never look away)//I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you//(Things will never be the same)//I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night//(Now I'm wide awake)//And now I see daylight (Daylight), I only see daylight (Daylight)//I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight//I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight//And I can still see it all (In my mind)//All of you, all of me (Intertwined)//I once believed love would be (Black and white)//But it's golden (Golden)//And I can still see it all (In my head)//Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed)//I once believed love would be (Burning red)//But it's golden//Like daylight, like daylight//Like daylight, daylight//I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you//(I can never look away)//I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you//(Things will never be the same)//I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night//(Now I'm wide awake)//And now I see daylight (I see daylight), I only see daylight (Ah)//I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight//I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight (Ah)//I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight//I only see daylight, daylight, daylight, daylight//Like daylight//It's golden like daylight//You gotta step into the daylight and let it go//Just let it go, let it go//I wanna be defined by the things that I love//Not the things I hate//Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of//Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night//I, I just think that//You are what you love
S: There’s a line in this song about wolves that always makes me laugh. ‘Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down’ Just… Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be coming out here to say every single song I write is about Remus Lupin, but almost all of them are. It was just too perfect. I mean wolves? Remus? Get it?
R: I would like to note that I hate that line but my veto was vetoed.
P: It’s cute! And I think this song is a really good way to end the album. It’s refreshing in a way, hopeful. Especially with how melancholic the rest of the album turned out. I’m actually not sure how that happened. We’re all happy and in love, I promise we’re not always this sad.
J: I fucking love this song. I think it might be my favorite. It’s perfect. It’s an album ender. Like the final words of the album are ‘You are what you love’ and that feels so encompassing of how we all feel.