balancing act

James has always thrived on routine. Even when his schedule varies day to day, he always had some form of consistency. It took a while to find it after moving in with Regulus. 

Adjusting was… difficult. For both of them, really. It wasn’t anything like the extended vacations either of them would take. There was no departure date, no wondering how long it would be until they got to see each other again. 

James learned that Regulus had become quite the night owl, and for the first couple of weeks their schedules were all out of sync. Regulus would be awake working until almost two in the morning some nights, whereas James was falling asleep earlier than he used to. 

He likes waking up early here. James has always liked the way the world is before everyone else wakes up. The calm before the storm. They live in a relatively secluded area, so there isn’t a ton of activity in general. But the neighborhood is especially quiet in the early morning. 

That’s usually when James writes. Or plays guitar. Or reads, a hobby that Regulus somehow got him to enjoy. Regulus will usually sleep in a little longer, and then he’ll make coffee for the both of them and sit quietly while he adjusts to being awake.

Most mornings he takes Pads and Marley for a run. Sometimes he can coax Regulus out of bed to come with him, and then they talk a nice stroll while the sun rises. Usually though, Regulus likes having the house to himself for a little bit in the morning. 

James isn’t blind, or stupid. He knows very well that Regulus needs a certain amount of time to simply be alone. And James has no problem with disappearing for a little bit. He’s introduced himself to a couple of neighbors, almost all of them very friendly. 

There was an issue with one of them; an older man who wasn’t pleased in the slightest that James and Regulus were two men in a relationship. James didn’t tell Regulus about that encounter though. He probably would have found a way to get him evicted (somehow, Regulus always found a way to get what he wanted) and James just decided that he wasn’t worth their trouble. 

Still, it was all part of the routine. 

James noticed something was off the moment he walked in the door. He had walked this morning, Padfoot not having the same amount of energy he normally did. 

“Reg?” James called, breathing back to normal after walking the last kilometer. The two dogs took off running in the direction of the kitchen, which had to be where Regulus was. 

It smelled like he was cooking. Which… well it isn’t exactly weird. But Regulus doesn’t like to eat food that he cooks himself, which is part of the reason why James is mostly in charge of that. 

Not only that, but usually Regulus is still in bed when James gets back. James has figured out it’s because he likes the idea he gets when James comes back all sweaty and in need of a shower, of which Regulus usually joins. 

Regulus appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, looking more than mildly displeased. Marley was walking right next to him, almost always at his side these days, always at Regulus’ feet. 

“We have a home phone.”

“Umm… Yeah, I know,” James said. He was very aware of the phone that was hung on the wall. He always thought that it was cute; added character. 

“It rang.”

“It rang?” In all of the times James has visited, and now all of the months that he has lived here, that phone has never once rang. 

“Our home phone number is also listed in the phone book, apparently.”

“What?”

“The phone book.”

 James was not understanding what Regulus was talking about. “Who called?”

Regulus smiled, one of those fake smiles that he reserved solely for when he was upset about something. “Good question, Potter. Who on Earth could have called us?”

“I don’t know?”

“The Marshalls.”

James felt his lips turn up in a smile. “Oh, from down the road?”

“James! Why are you making friends with the neighbors?”

“It wasn’t intentional! And it’s not like I’m going to ignore them. They’re our neighbors. I was being neighborly.”

“They practically invited themselves over for dinner,” Regulus mumbled, which explained what he was doing in the kitchen in the first place. 

“We’re hosting?” James loved to host. He loved having people over; he loved filling his house with so much love and community that it was practically bursting at the seams.  

“The Marshall’s are weird.”

“They’re not weird.”

“They are,” Regulus argued, and James let him think that he agreed. “They called the home phone , James. The home phone. And I’m also 54% sure they’re involved in some BDSM shit.”

James tilted his head to the side. “That’s not very sure.”

“It’s sure enough.”

“Reg, I know you are not kink shaming,” James teased. 

Regulus’ cheeks turned a bit pink. “Shut up. I’m not. I’m just saying-”

James took a step forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Are you cooking already?” he asked to change the subject. 

“I made you breakfast.”

“You did?”

“Well, I made it with the intention of poisoning it, but you got home too early.”

James grinned. “Eat with me?”

They sat outside, something that was a part of James’ routine on the weekends. He let himself sit back and take in the beautiful nature that surrounded them. 

When James moved in, one of his first orders of business had been to find out whether or not Pads and Marley could swim. He had been absolutely delighted to find out that they could, but Regulus made James promise to never let them out alone, just in case. So James would sit outside and watch the dogs swim, and sometimes he would get in the pool too, if he wasn’t feeling too tired. 

“So when the Marshall’s inevitably ask us for a foursome, what’s the game plan?”

James laughed, not expecting that to be the way Regulus breaks the silence. “They’re not going to ask us that.”

“Well a threesome, at least. Mrs. Marshall is always eyeing you.”

“She is not.”

“She is.”

“Are you jealous?” James teased. Some part of him loved when Regulus would get jealous on his behalf.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “You’re always running around the neighborhood; shirtless, I might add. And with our dogs. The whole street has a thing for you.”

“I haven’t noticed that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

James grinned. “Can’t help it if I only have eyes for you.” He said it in a teasing way, but it was the truest thing he’s ever said. There was nobody else when Regulus was in the room.

———

James spoke to the Marshall’s almost every day, so he was more surprised that they hadn’t had them over for dinner beforehand. Phoebe and Simon were only a couple years older than James was, and they apparently had a nine year old daughter, Mikey, that was joining them for dinner.

Regulus had seemed just as surprised as James was, but then Regulus quickly went to make some frozen chicken nuggets and fries that he had bought a while back. James assumed it was for those times when they weren’t together and Regulus actually had to make food for himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to cook, it was just that he didn’t like to cook for just himself. 

Mikey was quiet, although James assumed she didn’t like strangers much. She had immediately taken to Regulus, watching him with a sort of awestruck expression. They had already disappeared after dinner; Regulus was introducing her to Padfoot and Marley. They could see them through the window, playing with the dogs in the backyard.

James had done his best not to melt at the fact that Regulus was so good with kids. He was at least managing to keep himself in check while the Marshall’s were visiting.

“Yeah, we were actually planning on visiting my parents this weekend,” Phoebe said. She was very talkative, and she happened to like a lot of the things James liked. Although they quickly learned that they differed on their favorite football teams and had to change the topic.

“Oh, that’s nice. Where do they live?”

“Italy,” she said, sharing a glance with Simon. “Yeah, we’re just looking for someone to watch Mikey while we’re gone and we’ll be set. Our regular babysitter is unavailable, so we’re at a bit of a loss.”

James knew he shouldn’t have done it. He knew that the Marshall’s were obviously baiting him. He knew that Regulus would be upset that James didn’t talk to him beforehand. James knew all of this. 

“We can watch her,” James said. 

Phoebe and Simon both smile widely at him. “Oh, are you sure? We couldn’t put you out of your way like that,” Simon says.

James shakes his head. “Really, it’s no problem. Me and Reg don’t go many places anyway, and we’re both home all weekend.”

“I- I mean she has really taken to your dogs,” Phoebe said, glancing out the window.

James looks too, seeing Regulus throwing one of the dog toys for Padfoot to fetch to show Mikey how to do it. 

“They are very charismatic dogs.”

Phoebe looks at him again, and James knows that he played right into her hand, but he truly does not mind babysitting. “Are you absolutely sure? It would only be two nights.”

“I’m positive. We’d be happy to have her. Between you and me, I think this house is too empty.”

Simon laughed. “It is a very large house for just two people. Will Regulus be okay with this?”

“Yeah, no doubt,” James said, even though he had a lot of doubts. He didn’t really know Regulus’ feelings toward kids, but he knew that Regulus was good with them, even from the limited amount he has seen. “I mean I will check with him later, but I’m sure he will be just as happy as I am to help.”

The Marshall’s left soon after that, newly equipped with James’ actual phone number so that they no longer had to call the home phone.

Regulus let out a long sigh as soon as the door shut behind them. “So? Did they offer?”

James froze, eyes widened and mouth half closed on one of the brownies that the Marshall’s brought over, thinking that Regulus already knew about the whole babysitting thing. He had to figure out how to bring it up. He had a couple of days before they dropped Mikey off for the weekend, and he wanted to think how best to approach it.

“What?”

“To have a threesome. Did they offer?”

James broke out into a grin. “You’re still on that?”

“So they didn’t?” Regulus asked, almost seeming a bit disappointed. He didn’t much like to be wrong.

“Obviously not. It was a neighborly dinner.”

“What did you talk about then? When I was in the yard?”

The rational part of James’ brain thought that this was the perfect opportunity to explain what James had agreed to on their behalf. The less rational part of his brain, however, thought that Regulus would shoot the idea down immediately, and James thought he should ease him into it more.

So, he shrugged instead. “Small talk.”

“Small talk?”

“Yeah. They asked me about music and what it’s like to do that for my job, they asked about our relationship, we talked about the weather. You know, small talk.”

“Oh, right.”

“So, what did you think of Mikey?” James asked, hoping he was a lot more subtle than he sounded. 

Regulus didn’t seem to think much of it, because he just shrugged and started walking toward the dining room, cleaning off the table while he spoke. “She likes bugs.”

“Bugs?”

“It was all she talked about when we were outside. I learned a lot.”

“Tell me something.”

James helped Regulus carry all the dishes into the kitchen, starting to put away leftovers while Regulus started to do the dishes. 

“There are about a million ants for each person.”

James turned around at that, his head tilted to the side. “A million?”

“That’s just a rough estimate, but yeah.”

“So, hypothetically, we could all have our own little ant army?”

“What would you even do with an army of ants?”

James shrugged. “Not sure yet. But they’re strong, right?”

“They’re strong for their size.”

“If everyone has an equal army, does anyone have an army?”

“I don’t think that it’s possible for everyone to have an equal army of ants.”

James shook his head. “No, probably not. But… well they gotta be evenly matched, right? Or at least close?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“On who’s in charge. A strong army is nothing without a good strategist.”

James grinned. “See? Now I hadn’t thought of that. This is why I keep you around.”

James saw a small smile on Regulus’ face, and he shut off the faucet to turn around and face James completely. “You keep me around, is it?”

“See, like I’m big picture stuff, you know? And you’ve always got the details that I miss.”

“You keep me around because of your lack of attention to detail?”

“Yes! You complete me, Reggie,” James said, taking Regulus’ face in his hands and holding it like it was something delicate.

Regulus snorted a laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Mhm,” James agreed. James started swiping his thumb back and forth across Regulus’ face. “Whatever you say, dear.” 

***

Regulus did not say a word. He had plenty to say of course, but he was content to late James squirm for another moment. Mikey was currently in their living room flicking through different options on the t.v. And see, Regulus is sure that James meant to tell him before Mikey got there. Either that or he planned on being the one to answer the door.

James got home from his run and saw the two of them on the couch, face forming immediately into something guilty.

Regulus followed him into the kitchen.

“I can explain.”

“Can you?”

“They needed a babysitter.”

“They’re strangers.”

“They’re our neighbors,” James said, stressing the word neighbor like it meant something. It didn’t. “It isn’t like we can just kick her out.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes, because obviously. “She’s staying.” Regulus isn’t going to kick a child out of their house when she has no place to go, he isn’t a monster. He doesn’t even mind watching her for the weekend. As far as kids go, Mikey is fun to be around. She still has the childlike whimsy about her, and she has a lot of different interests.

“Thank you-”

“You realize this is fucking ridiculous though, right?” Regulus asked, because he wasn’t so sure that James actually understood. 

“What?”

“You do know that this is a partnership, don’t you?”

“I- yes. Of course I know that.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

Regulus bit his tongue. Honestly, he was not in the mood for this argument right now. Besides, he apparently had a kid to babysit. He didn’t really know the first thing about children, his own childhood was messed up enough that he knew he should not go off of that.

Regulus avoided James for most of the rest of the day. He went outside with Mikey and the dogs, listened to her recite more and more bug facts off the top of her head and tried to remember as many of them as he could. She seemed to like their backyard for how much space there was, and at any given time she was twenty yards away from Regulus and running around with Marley.

Padfoot was less active than he normally was, sitting idly with Regulus. It made him worry that he was getting sick, normally Padfoot and Marley matched each other’s energy.

James came and saw with him eventually, not saying a word at first and letting Padfoot rest his head on his lap.

“Has he been like this the whole time?” James asked, sounding absolutely devastated already. One thing Regulus could never fault James on was how much he cared about the people he loved. It made sense that Padfoot and Marley would be included in that category.

“Yeah,” Regulus said quietly, keeping an eye on Mikey. She was on the other side of the yard, crouching by the garden and periodically throwing one of Marley’s toys for him to go and fetch.

“He was slow on the walk today, too. We didn’t make it very far.”

“We’ll take him to the vet.”

James took a deep breath. “You’re really good with her,” he said after a long moment. Regulus didn’t need to ask him to clarify.

“I just treat her like a person,” Regulus said. It was how he wanted to be treated when he was a kid. Instead he was treated as a doll, as a funnel for his mother’s ballet dreams. In his house, children were to be seen and not heard. Regulus didn’t usually have that much to say anyway, but Sirius was always different in that aspect.

“I know, but even during that dinner, you just immediately knew to make her something else, something that she would like.”

“Kids don’t have an appreciation for good food.” Regulus really was trying to play this off. He didn’t need James assuring him that he wasn’t a monster with children. 

“Yeah, but-”

“James,” Regulus said, slightly exasperated. They could only talk around a subject for so long.

“I should have told you.”

Regulus sighed, laying back on the grass and closing his eyes. “I feel like we always end up here.”

“What do you mean?”

“You keep things from me. Big things. It’s happened enough that I think we can call it a pattern.”

“It was just this one thing,” James said quickly.

“It’s not.”

“When else have I kept something from you?”

Regulus opened his eyes to give James a look. “The article,” he said simply. Months ago when the tell all was released on Regulus’ birthday and James hadn’t told him.

“That was your birthday though, it was different.”

“Why did you think you couldn’t talk to me about this?”

James shook his head. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it like?”

“There were a lot of things.”

Regulus sat up a little, resting on his forearms. “I’m listening.” 

James cleared his throat. “I wasn’t scared to ask you. I- I didn’t think you would say no.”

“I wouldn’t have,” Regulus agreed. If it were anybody else asking him, then he wouldn’t have even thought twice about saying no. But it was James, everything was different with James.

“I know that. But I just… I blindly agreed when they asked me, you know?”

“I can imagine.”

James smiled, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes but showed that he appreciated Regulus trying to diffuse some of the tension. He was angry, yes, but he knows that this is something James has been working on. Since he met him, basically, James has had trouble speaking up for himself. He has no problem doing it for others, but when it comes to anything that James is going through, he stays totally silent.

“And then I got scared. I don’t know the first thing about looking after a kid, even just for a weekend.” Regulus… well he had not been expecting that. “I know I had a good childhood. I know that I had good examples of parenting. But I just… I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Regulus sighed, sitting up fully to give James his full attention. Regulus had known it went deeper, he just didn’t know in what capacity. “That’s completely normal.”

“I didn’t think I would be nervous. I mean it isn’t like we’re her parents, you know? But it just got me thinking about all the places I would fall short, I guess.”

“As a parent?”

James met his eyes. “I’m not asking you for kids.”

“Do you want kids?” Regulus asked, even though he was relatively sure he already knew what the answer was.

“It depends.”

“On?”

“You.”

“I want kids,” Regulus said. He knew James would never put it out there if he thought Regulus didn’t want them. It was just who he was, and Regulus has figured out how to work around it to get the truth out of him. He always puts Regulus first, and he wishes he wouldn’t when it comes to things like this.

“You do?”

“Sure, one day. It’s… If you weren’t scared then you wouldn’t be human.”

“Are you scared?” Regulus gave him a look, one that made James laugh, his whole demeanor relaxing a little bit. “Right, everyone is,” he said with a nod.

“Look, I understand why you didn’t tell me, but I don’t want to have to do this anymore,” Regulus told him. He hated being blindsided with things like this. 

“I know. I- I’m working on it. This is our life, and I know that.”

Regulus felt himself smile at that, the idea that this was something they were doing together. Honestly, he can’t believe he ever made it here; to a place where he could be comfortable sharing his life with someone else. 

“I know,” Regulus said. And he did know, is the thing. James has gotten a lot better at telling Regulus about the things he does and the things he worries about. It’s something they’ve both been working on, actually. 

“On another note,” James said a couple moments later, dragging his attention back in the way only he was ever able to. “I think we need to discuss the silverware.”

Regulus frowned, already confused. “The silverware?”

“I mean… it is our house, right?”

“Yes, obviously.”

“And I don’t want to change everything about the way things were before I moved in.”

“James, what are you talking about?”

“I don’t like the way you arrange the silverware drawer,” he said quickly, like he was trying to get it over with.

Regulus felt a smile creep onto his face. “Oh?”

“And every time I change it, you change it back.”

“I thought it was because you didn’t know how,” Regulus told him honestly. He had noticed that whenever James did the dishes that the silverware would always be in the wrong spot, but he hadn’t realized it was intentional.

“I know how.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t really care how the silverware is organized,” Regulus told him. The truth was that he did care, at least a little bit. He’s always done it the same way, but it’s honestly such a small thing that James was asking of him, and clearly it’s been something that has been on his mind for a while. 

The small, white lie was worth it. James seemed to completely de-stress, and Regulus could only wonder just how long he had been holding that in for.

———

Mikey kept both of them pretty busy for the rest of the day. She wanted to do arts and crafts, which was much more James’ avenue. Regulus mostly just sat with Padfoot and booked an appointment with the local vet. He was worried but he was trying to keep it under wraps for James’ sake. 

“Reg, come look,” James said, getting his attention. 

They were at the kitchen table, surrounded by different drawings and paintings on all sides. 

Regulus stood up to see what they were working on. 

Mikey had painted a landscape, complete with a sun in the corner and flowers that were taller than the trees. 

James had made a sketch with pen, proudly holding it up for Regulus to see. It didn’t take long for Regulus to figure out what it was. There was a house in the background, which was very obviously theirs. And there were two people in front that Regulus felt safe in assuming were the two of them. Padfoot and Marley made appearances too, more in the background and looking like they were mid run. 

“It’s our first family portrait,” James said proudly. 

Regulus didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. Later that night though, when James was in the shower and Mikey was fast asleep in the guest room, Regulus put the drawing inside an empty frame he had in the basement and hung it up in the entryway. It looked like it fit there perfectly. 

***

The next day, not even a full hour after Mikey got picked up, James and Regulus were taking Padfoot to the closest vet. He was still acting differently, not even wanting to run around with Marley. James could tell that Regulus was trying to keep up a facade of being worry free, but he could still tell. They were both nervous.

It was different for James though. He had a dog when he was younger, and he was convinced that Padfoot was just sick and that it wouldn’t be anything life threatening. Still, he was worried. He could try and convince himself of anmything

Regulus was quiet in the waiting room/lobby area. He had simply sat down in the chair furthest away from any other person and hasn’t said a word since. He looked up once while James was pacing back and forth to give him a look. James was likely only making them both more anxious, but he had to do something with all of the energy he had pent up. 

He was about to say something, to try and ease both of their worries, when his phone went off.

Sirius: where are you??????????????????

prongs.

jamessss

?????

James: i’m at the vet ????

Sirius: the vet?

as in veterinarian ?

James: umm yes

why

you okay?

Sirius: i’m perfectly fine except for i’m not and i’m outside your house without a way inside

James: wait what?

you’re here?

Sirius: yes!

wtf he moved the emergency key?

James: he changed all the locks

Sirius: what??

James: yeah.

just in case walburga had one still

Sirius: oh.

yeah, that makes sense

James: why are you in Spain?

Sirius: why are you at the vet????

James: padfoot’s sick :(

we’re waiting to find out what we need to do

Sirius: no! not my namesake!

James: …

the new key is in a fake rock.

Sirius: a fake rock?

James: happy looking!

we’ll be home soon :)

“Who’s that?” Regulus asked, noticing the way James had been typing on his phone.

“Sirius. He’s here.”

“Here? Like right here?”

“He’s at our house.”

Regulus frowned. “Why?”

James shrugged. “He didn’t tell me.”

“Figures.”

They waited there mostly in silence for the next twenty minutes before the doctor came back out. Immediately, James tried to read her facial expression. She didn’t look like she had bad news to deliver, which only slightly helped to ease James’ worries.

Regulus stood up next to James when he saw the vet walk out, grabbing James’ hand without even thinking twice about it. He liked that Regulus did that now; grabbed hold of James whenever he wanted to. It was nice, it felt nice.

“Is he- umm is he okay?” Regulus asked.

Padfoot suddenly walked out of the room behind the vet, not looking any better but also not looking any worse. He went to Regulus immediately, settling down by his feet.

The vet smiled. “He’s got the flu.”

“The flu?” Regulus asked, likely thinking the same thing that James was. He had no idea dogs could get the flu.

“Yes, canine flu. I have prescribed him some antibiotics, and as long as you make sure Padfoot takes them twice a day, he should start feeling better in about a week.”

James couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief, and he saw some of the tension leave Regulus’ shoulders.

The vet handed the antibiotics to James. “In my experience it’s easier to get them to take the antibiotics if you stick them in with their food,” she said.

James drove home while Regulus spent the ride over-researching and sharing everything he learned with James. It was an interesting mix of depressing stories and optimistic statistics that James didn’t know what to do with. So he just listened to Regulus talk himself in circles until they pulled up to the house.

Sirius was laying on the porch swing, and Padfoot went straight to him. James swore that he knew who he was named after. He always immediately ran to Sirius whenever he was around.

“What are you doing?” Regulus asked him. James followed behind, just happy to see his best friend. Living so far away from him was hard, no matter how often they called.

Sirius sat up, still petting Padfoot. “I couldn’t find the key,” he said. 

James picked up the most obvious rock in the pile. It was a completely different size and shape than those around it. “Really?”

Sirius grinned. “I got bored of looking.”

Remus suddenly appeared out of nowhere. James guessed that Sirius had sent him in search of a nonspecific rock.

“Hi, Moony,” James said, happy to see him.

“We’ve been here for an hour.”

Regulus shrugged. “You’re the ones who showed up without warning.”

“We had warning.”

“What?”

“Peter threatened us.”

“Peter?” James asked.

“And Mary.”

James’ eyes widened as he realized what was going on. He has hardly been answering his phone this weekend, but he had seen numerous messages from Mary. They really needed to finish their album, James knew this. He’s just been enjoying his little slice of domesticity with Regulus, so work has sort of been the last thing on his mind. He’s been writing a little bit of music here and there, but nothing that he thought would be very good on their album.

“Shit.”

Regulus mumbled something under his breath and went inside, Padfoot following after him.

James sat down next to Sirius. “Pete’s pissed, isn’t he?”

“Beyond. He’s on his way, too.”

“So… Any ideas?” James asked. What they really needed to do was work out the track list and decide which songs were going on the album. They also needed to figure out what to name it, which was turning out to be basically impossible

None of them said anything, which was not a very good sign for their creative process.

Remus sighed. “I brought weed,” he offered.

———

Peter got there about twenty minutes later, and rather than say anything he just sighed and took the blunt when Sirius offered it to him.

James was cutting stripes of paper with each of the track titles on them. It was part of their process when trying to arrange the album, always had been. It was easier to order things when they could see it physically, or at least it was easier for James.

“Okay, so opening track?” James asked, looking at the many slips of paper. There were more songs than they needed, which was a good thing. He didn’t like choosing which songs made the album and which ones didn’t, but it was much easier to have too many than too little.

“I’m hungry,” Sirius said, standing up and leaving the room without much warning. 

They were in a sort of makeshift studio. Regulus apparently had it built before James moved in, claiming it was for both of them. James found that he had much more use for it than Regulus did though, and he got the feeling that Regulus actually did all of it for him.

“Bring snacks,” Peter said just before Sirius walked out.

“Opening song?” James asked again.

Peter shrugged. “I dunno. But I do think that umm… what’s that song?”

“What song?”

“The walls. Talking walls?”

James gave him a funny look. “ If Walls Could Talk ,” he offered. 

Peter nodded, pointing enthusiastically at James. “That’s the one. That should be last.”

James simply moved the slip of paper all the way to the bottom. “Okay, so that’s like what? One out of twenty?”

“Uhh Prongs?” Remus said a couple of moments later.

“Hmm?”

“You know that song you wrote with Regulus?” he asked, referring to We’ll Never Have Sex .  

“Yes,” James said instantly. That was one of his favorite memories, actually. 

“Do you want it on the album?”

“What?”

“I just mean… it feels really personal.”

“Oh.”

James hadn’t really thought about what it would mean for him to release the song. They all have written about very personal things before.

“I just thought you might want to release that in your own name.”

“My own name?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Just think about it.”

They’ve all spoken about something like this before, but it was mostly in passing. Sirius thought about a solo project a couple of years ago, and they all discussed that they would support each other and still remain a band throughout. The solo thing didn’t end up happening because they got too busy, but James knows it’s always been in the back of Sirius’ mind. 

James never really thought about it for himself though. He has a lot of very personal songs on this album, but by far the most important to him is the one he wrote with Regulus.

Sirius came back with everything from the snack cabinet, basically, barely balancing everything in his hands. Regulus followed behind him, likely picking up everything that Sirius dropped on his way.

“Regulus!” James said at the sight of him.

“Oh, you’re all high,” he said.

James grinned. “It’s part of the creative process.”

“Mhm, I’m sure.” He set all of the stuff down on the table, making sure it was all upright. Sirius had done the opposite, just plopped everything in one spot and grabbed what he wanted. “Look, I’m going to go run an errand.”

“An errand?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of errand? Can I come?”

“You’re working.”

“So?”

“And you’re high.”

“So?”

Regulus shook his head. “You’re not coming. I gave Padfoot his antibiotics already, but you’ll need to do it again in six hours.”

“Are you going to be gone that long?”

“Most likely.”

James frowned. He could feel that Regulus wasn’t telling him something, but he couldn’t figure out what it could be. They ran almost all of their errands together. If James had to go to the bank, Regulus came with. If Regulus needed something from the store, James would tag along. 

“Will you be back tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, okay.”

James watched him leave, staring at the door for a couple of seconds too long. “Was that weird?” he asked, looking mostly at Sirius.

Sirius looked up from the bag of potato chips. “Hmm?”

“Regulus. Was he being weird?”

“He’s always weird.”

“No.”

Sirius shrugged. “You know Regulus, he’s always been secretive.”

“Not with me,” James said quietly.

He tried not to focus on it, knowing that they had work to do that he had put off for far too long.

***

The train ride was boring, and Regulus didn’t have anything to do except stare out the window. Mary had only barely agreed to meet him. Normally, Regulus would have called his own lawyer, but she was on vacation and impossible to get ahold of. Regulus remembered James saying something about Mary having a degree in Pre-Law, and if there was anybody who could help him on such short notice, it was her.

She lived in London in a flat close to where James used to live. Emmeline was the one who answered the door, not looking surprised to see him.

“Hey, how’re you?”

“I’m good. Mary in?”

Emmeline nodded, opening the door wider to let him in. “Down the hall, first door on the left.”

The instructions were rather simple, and the door to Mary’s office was wide open, making it even easier to find.

She looked up when she heard him knock. “Hey, come in.”

Regulus sat down in the empty chair. “Did you get my email?”

“No pleasantries?” she asked with a small smile. 

Regulus gave her a blank stare. “I’m sort of on a time crunch.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Yes, I got the email.”

“And?”

Mary took a deep breath, looking over the email again on her laptop. “And I don’t think they have a case.”

“They sound confident.”

“I won’t lie to you, Regulus. They can and will take you to court.”

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek. “Will they win?”

“They don’t have a very strong case. I mean what exactly is Alecto trying to sue you for?”

Regulus sighed, leaning back in his chair a little bit. “I don’t know. Stealing her clients, I guess.”

“Did you coerce them?”

“No, I did it all legally. I made them an offer, that was all.”

“Did you threaten her?” Regulus shut his mouth, and Mary seemed to read his face well enough to get an answer. “You threatened her, are you joking?”

“She was mean to James,” Regulus said. He didn’t regret it one bit. “And it was barely a threat. It was more like a warning.”

“Is there any proof of it?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well what did you say?”

Regulus shrugged. “Something about like… I don’t know. Making her regret it for going near James.”

Mary sighed again. “Really?”

“Well I didn’t think she would sue me.”

“How did you get her clients?”

“Email.”

“Do you still have them?”

“Yeah, somewhere.”

Regulus spent the next thirty minutes forwarding emails to Mary and compiling every correspondence between them. But he had made sure he had done it all very legally, and Alecto wasn’t mentioned in a single one.

“Could we say it's a coincidence?”

“Unlikely. No judge would believe that, either.”

“Okay, so what do we do?”

“Well, you have two options. You could go to court, or you could settle.”

“How long would it take to go to court?”

“I can’t know for sure, but at least two months to get it all settled.”

Regulus didn’t know how he would be able to keep something like that from James. He wanted to do this as efficiently and quietly as possible, and spending months in court was not the way to do that. But the last thing Regulus wanted to do was give Alecto any money. It wasn’t that he couldn’t afford what she was suing him for, because he could. He didn’t have 300 thousand in liquid, but he definitely had more than that in assets. He could pay it just fine. 

“You should probably talk to a real lawyer though.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Look, if you go to court, then I don’t doubt that you will win. They barely have a case, and there’s no real evidence of you threatening Alecto or coercing the artists,” Mary explained. 

“I don’t want James to find out.”

Mary’s eyes widened a little bit. “What?”

“I- He can’t know.”

“Why not?”

“Just because.”

“Well if you go to court he’s definitely going to find out.”

“And if I settle?”

“Depends on how public Alecto makes it.”

“If I pay her more, negotiate it into a contract or something, could it stay private?”

“Hypothetically, if you get her to agree, then yes. But… well I know Alecto. I don’t know if that’s in her character.”

“She needs money, I have money,” Regulus said, because it was that simple to him. The system has always worked in his favor, he knows that he’s lucky for that.

“You’ll need to set up a meeting with her and her lawyer,” Mary said, although she didn’t look convinced. Regulus knew she didn’t like the fact that Regulus was planning on keeping this entire thing quiet, but he didn’t have much of a choice. 

“I will,” Regulus said with a nod.

“You’re really keeping this from James.”

“Yes.”

———

Pandora would have murdered him if he traveled to London and didn’t visit her, so that was his next stop. Pandora was probably the only person that Regulus could trust with the information. Evan and Barty would tell each other, and Barty would tell James on accident probably. He’s gotten used to the fact that they’re friends now, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a little bit weird. 

Lily was away working on another tour, currently somewhere in Asia. Regulus has received a lot of phone calls from Pandora in the past couple of weeks, each detailing just how bored she has been. She decided not to do the ballet for this next cycle, but she does start teaching beginners in the next month or so.

“What?” she asked, trying not to laugh.

“I was babysitting,” Regulus said, his expression blank.

“Like a real child?”

“Yes.”

“You?”

Regulus sighed, knowing they could go back and forth like this for ages. “She was a very low maintenance kid.”

“Is she one of those IPad kids?”

“Not really.”

“Really?”

“She liked to be outside.”

“That’s weird.”

“She has kind of weird parents.”

“Hmm. Well what did you think?”

“Think?”

“Yeah. About kids.”

“They’re fine.”

Pandora gave him a look, but Regulus really did not want to entertain this conversation. He knows he wants kids, he’s known it for a while. But actually saying it out loud to anyone but James feels… impossible.

So, Regulus changed the subject.

“I’m being sued,” Regulus told her.

Pandora stopped stirring her tea, mouth actually dropped open. “You’re what?”

“Being sued.”

“Why?”

Regulus explained everything to her, being able to rant about how stupid the lawsuit was in a way he couldn’t to Mary. Because it was stupid. Regulus had warned her, and it wasn’t his fault that she was a shitty producer. It had taken barely any convincing to get them to work with him. All he did was send them a couple of samples of what his style was like; that was literally all it took.

Pandora couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of Regulus being sued, but he did not find it nearly as amusing.

“What did James say?” she asked.

Any hint of a smile left Regulus’ face. “He doesn’t know.”

Pandora stopped smiling too. “What?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t tell him.”

“Why not?”

“Pandora-”

“Regulus! You have to tell him.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I am not.”

“Isn’t this just the thing you got mad at him about?”

“What?”

“You were just telling me how you hate when he keeps something from you.”

“That’s different,” Regulus said, because it was. This was not something that James was ever supposed to know about. He doesn’t want him to know about what he did to Alecto, in fact he would probably be mad about it. For years he hadn’t let Sirius say anything to her, so Regulus just had to get a bit more crafty than that.

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“It’s his ex-girlfriend.”

“So?”

“So you’re being hypocritical.”

“It’s different,” he insisted.

“How so?”

“Because this isn’t important. Or even relevant.”

Pandora laughed. “You don’t think that somebody suing you is relevant?”

“Not really.”

She took a deep breath. “I still think you should tell him.”

“I appreciate your opinion and I will take it into consideration,” Regulus said, lying through his teeth.

Pandora threw her hands up. “Fine, whatever.”

“You’re upset with me.”

She shook her head. “No. I just… disagree.”

“You have better morals than me.”

“So you admit that it’s wrong.”

“I know it’s wrong, but it’s better than the alternative.”

If Regulus told him, then James would probably get upset, and that was the last thing Regulus ever wanted to do. He hated whenever James was upset, and he refused to be the reason for it. Plus… well he could leave. He could decide that he doesn’t forgive Regulus for going against his wishes and meddling in his past relationship in such a way. Regulus doesn’t think he would survive if James left.

Pandora sighed, seeming to understand where Regulus was coming from. “Okay, I won’t tell him.”

Regulus hadn’t realized that was even on the table- loyalties and all- but he was glad. “Thank you.”

”So… how’s Padfoot?” she asked. Regulus had texted her early this morning, telling her they were going to the vet.

”He has the flu,” Regulus told her. He had done extensive research on it, and so long as he took what the vet prescribed, he should be better in not time.

”The flu?” she asked, and Regulus got to explain to her exactly what the vet had explained to him and James.