21-April
Hi, Diary.
I haven’t written in ages. It’s been a bit chaotic. Spring break was nice, but I felt a bit out of place. Lottie and my other friends back home have been doing so many things without me there that it was hard to connect with them. (I think she might be dating Ronan now, but I never got a concrete answer from her.) Plus I had homework to do over break but when they invited me to study together during break I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t very well bring my parchment and quill and my potions essay along! Mum actually helped me find a way to work on my Herbology assignment with them. I am so grateful she was willing to help. I worked on the basics of the most mundane plants for my assignment with my friends and completed the rough drafts for each of those, but transferred it all to parchment at home, where I worked on the more magical species. (Of course, that also meant I had to leave out parts of the assignments til I got home, too.)
Then there was the realisation that Easter and Ēostre are not the same thing. Granted, I grew up celebrating Easter, but I am interested in learning and experiencing Ēostre and the other wizarding holidays and traditions. I couldn’t really explain that as easily to my friends and family. Mum and Dad might have understood, but no one else.
When I returned to school the other day, I couldn’t help but feel relieved. People at school, well at least muggleborns like me, understand me better than those back home. (I will admit that the pure bloods and even some of the halfbloods just don’t get it, and that’s ok. I’m not upset at them anymore than I am with Lottie or my friends and family back home. It’s just too difficult sometimes to understand someone’s circumstances when the culture is so different.)
However, ugh, after class today I am no longer sure I’m as relieved as I was. We have end of year exams swiftly approaching and our new workload for assignments and homework sure emphasises that! I don’t know how I’m going to get it all done! (Don’t tell anyone, but the whole reason I’m finally writing in here again is because I needed a break from quills and parchment and homework and essays!)
There is so much to do and I still don’t quite grasp so many pieces of the assignments, I don’t know how I’m ever going to finish it all! And I really am starting to worry that I’ll even be able to pass everything. If I don’t, will they tell me I can’t come back? I don’t know what would be worse- washing out and having to make up a whole year of muggle school over the summer and then pretending magic doesn’t exist…. Or passing and drifting farther and farther away from my muggle friends and family. At least I have Amythest. No matter what, they can’t take her away from me!
I suppose I have procrastinated enough. I should return to my homework.
I’ll be back.
Ava