Why did I agree to this $hit?
As we were walking towards something to do with being reincarnated. I decided to have a talk with Lady Abyss and Lord Murphy. I wanted to form some sort of plan as to what we would do once we were in the world of witchcraft and wizardry.
My hopes and expectations were severely and brutally dashed by Lady Abyss' response, "do whatever you want, just don't die, and don't let me die."
Yes I know what the mission is but how do we accomplish it? Like seriously, what am I supposed to do until I enter Hogwarts? There is no way I am dealing with an abusive household. Also it's my second chance, why would I waste it running around to the whims of an nose-less dark lord and a self entitled old man?
There is magic to be learned and money to be made. I'm not wasting time dealing with random bullshit.
We made our way to a room with a massive arch. It was a gothic style arch with a wall immediately behind it. There was nothing else in the room but the arch.
Lord Lucifer then raised his left hand and started speaking. The language was incomprehensible to me, but the feeling of raw primordial power was not. A few seconds of chanting/speaking later and the arch started glowing. A few moments after that a portal of sorts formed and stabilized. Well I wouldn't know what a stable portal looks like, but it wasn't doing the whole rip-apart-everything waves anymore so I guess it's stable.
Lord Lucifer turned to us and asked, "who wants to go first?" Lady Abyss stepped forward eagerly. "I'll go first," turning to Lord Murphy, "let's go Murphy." With that she went through the glowing portal. Lord Lucifer tried to hide it but his brows were twitching. For what reason I don't know and I'm just going to save this for later blackmail. He started to chant and wave his hands about for a few minutes before he stopped and sighed.
Turning to me he said, "your turn. Now before you step through, let me calibrate it to the desired destination. Gran is lucky I can correct the path on the fly. Otherwise it would've been a while before she returned and I would have to explain the disappearance of at least a world in the best case scenario. Now wait while I get the settings right for your reincarnation." Ah, that explains the twitching eyebrows. There's always someone who just goes off on their own half cocked and makes things harder for the ones cleaning up after them.
Now I only have a passing recollection of my destination. I know that Harry Potter was an orphan and abused by his uncle, aunt and cousin. He with help from his teachers and friends somehow made it through several attempts on his life. He looked up to Dumbledore. A few people around him die and he kills Voldemort and lives happily ever after.
But that was all a work of fiction. Well fiction to my mind. The real situation can be very different. I'm going to form my own opinions and do my own research/investigation into whatever is going on. If my only job is to stay alive then I'm going to make that as easy as possible for myself. Lady Abyss/Hermione can do whatever she wants to do.
Some minutes later Lord lucifer turned to me and spoke. "Alright that's done. On you go."
I walked forward, "here goes nothing" and went through the portal. Now, I don't know if you've watched Doctor Who, but the process was similar to the TARDIS going through a Temporal Vortex. It lasted for a few minutes before I was unceremoniously dropped on the floor.
The floor was polished wood. I tried moving to get up. The pain I felt in several part of my body showed I was recently injured. I didn't know the reason for my condition, but it soon became clear. A hand forcefully picked me up. The angry face of a fat man came into view. "You freak, we clothe you, feed you, house you and you dare ignore your chores?!" I simply looked at him in a daze I still had no bearings. My eyesight was blurry. My body was in pain. And I had no motor control.
The fat man slapped me and threw me into an under-stairs cupboard, and locked the door from the outside. The sudden darkness prolonged the confusion and dizziness. It took a few minutes for me to gather my senses. The memories of my past life and deal with Lucifer, Lilith, Abyss and Murphy came to mind. I had a simple system. I initially wanted to remove the A.I. function but now that would be the most useful thing getting me situated and on the move.
I closed my eyes and took deep breathes. A while later a HUD appeared. Seems the system is working. I went through all the setting and selectable menus. The pain in my body was slowly going away. I didn't know the reason yet but I would find out eventually. The SHOP had all information available, but since I was flat broke I couldn't acquire any intel. The INVENTORY was functional, and empty. The eject feature was blanked out. Of course I would need to fill it up with something before I could eject said item.
Feeling drained after a day of chores and beatings, I fell asleep.
*****Lucifer and Lilith*****
Lucifer: How do you think it will go?
Lilith: Hard to say. It depends on how long they can tolerate each other.
Lucifer: Agreed but not what I was getting at.
Lilith: You mean Gran finding out we set her up on a date? That we are playing matchmaker?
Lucifer: Yes.
Lilith: Depends on when she finds out. Sooner or later she is going to line up the facts and figure out our little game. I mean Asmodeus was conveniently absent from the tea party. You know how Gran adores the little rascal. And Belial stepping away to duties. He always clears his schedule when she comes for a visit.
Lucifer: I hope those two can at least be friends. I don't like seeing Gran all alone.
*****Damien*****
I awoke to the sound of stampeding buffaloes. The HUD told me today was Saturday. The door to the cupboard was opened and the face of a boiled horse greeted me. SERE training prepared me for a lot of things but this was not one of them. "Get out boy, breakfast in 30 minutes."
My memories of the movies were a bit hazy but I knew that Harry Potter was abused, but not like this. One thing I pride myself in is not leaving any of my enemies alive. These sacks of shit would be no different. I cautiously made my way to the kitchen. I started cooking breakfast for myself. I stored all the hard and possibly lethal objects I could in my INVENTORY. Glasses, plates, silverware, knives, frying pans, etc. I cooked breakfast for my self and stored that as well. I can eat over the corpses of the soon to be deceased child abusers.
The three stooges soon made their way down stairs. Together. I hit eject on everything other than my breakfast. The amount of blubber the two fucktards were carrying was impressive. It took a surprising amount of crap to turn them into pate. The walls held up for some reason. I mean the amount of energy directed at them would have the entire house crumbling. Problem for later. Now breakfast.
*****Some time later*****
A hearty breakfast later, I checked the INVENTORY and found that the auto-loot function had deposited about $750,000 (all amounts in British pounds). I started to inquire as to why. What I found was very pleasing. All the wealth on the target's personage would transfer over to me upon me neutralizing said target. The degree of said neutralization would also play a factor into the degree of rewards. Knocking someone out gave me cash, jewelry and any items on their person. Killing them gave me all that and if they had their bank cards on them, their entire bank account and their maximum withdrawal limit. The fatass Vernon had his wallet in his pocket. That made things so much easier for my new start at life.
Now I remember there being a vault somewhere on the first floor. I looked around and after 20 minutes of searching I found it. I ejected a spoon at it. I missed. How did it work on those three? Was it because they were such large targets? Whatever, I practiced with the eject function for a while, before I got through the safe. There was another $18k in there. Hmm, I wonder why it didn't go directly into my INVENTORY? Questions for later.
I explored the rest of the house. After getting everything of value, I headed to the main floor. I rigged the clock to ignite a spark in 6 hours time. I checked if all the doors and windows were closed. I also checked for any possible leaks. The fire place was one. I put a few cushions and towels up the chimney. I went to the boiler room and loosened the fittings on the gas supply. Come evening the house wouldn't exist. As for the neighbors? Tough shit.
I got out of the house and walked to the park. There were a few people there. Mostly mature adults going for a morning walk. I walked towards a secluded area between a few hedges and trees. I brought a rucksack, suitable for a schoolboy. I also bought a bicycle, clothes and food. Essentials over with I just sat in seclusion and enjoyed the morning.
*****Afternoon*****
I was on the move. I went to the library. I found a bike rack and locked up my bike. I had to buy that as well, I had initially overlooked it. There are little things I'm overlooking of forgetting to do. I remember later. Which sometimes is too late. For example, I had forgotten to pick up the random shit I had thrown at the Dursleys. Well, it won't matter too much. But I need to be more thorough. My haste to end my torment and escape led me to making hasty decisions.
In the library, I looked around for books about fighter jets. I needed a bit of an overview on my current condition and possible fixes, but an 8 year old reading medical books, on a weekend, feels out of place. I can just read the information bought from the INVENTORY under disguise of looking up cool fighter jets.
The year was 1988, month of April. Black Monday had already happened in 1987. I wouldn't get the chance at the short play but I could go long in some areas. The First Gulf war would start in 1990, so oil and munitions were going to pay off. Coca-Cola and Pepsi would be great investments a few hundred million in there and I can live like a king just from the dividends. Other stocks and ETFs along with Nike and a co-ownership of the Chicago Bulls. Arsenal would win the Premier league 2 nil. That's investment and bets out of the way.
Now to the more pressing matters, namely, my health. It was in an atrocious condition. The information I had in front of me listed my issues and solutions. A few of them could be implemented right away with potions, but that was a stop gap method. I either go to a normal or magical hospital, or go to the Goblins for complete discretion.
I still had a lot of money left over, I mean I'd barely used $600 of it. I decided with the Goblins. I can find wannabe gangsters to rob all over London. Getting a place to stay would be no problem. The 1987 crash will actually help. A lot of the nicer apartments will be empty. Especially after the previous owner flung himself off of the balcony. Losing a few million quid will do that to a guy.
It's evening now,17:55 to be precise. I went to a McDonalds to get food. I sat next to the window. I ate my 'royale with cheese' and waited.
BOOM
A fire ball, went into the air.
'Not bad for a few minutes work.'