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A fortnight has passed since Gilchrist got the news of his condition. He has done his best to take it in stride. However there are lapses of regret, anger and melancholy. Talking to the psychiatrist, helps him understand what's going on with his emotions. But is of no use as to the next steps to take. How doesn't one conquer death? Sure there are fantastical tales of heroes, gods, and kings courting death and disaster, and then conquering all. A certain Barney wanna-be comes to mind.
'That man is not to be a role model for children.'
Silly jokes aside, Gilchrist is being discharged from the hospital. He is able, for the time being to live on his own and take care of himself. Also the global pandemic is straining the medical system quite thoroughly. They need all the beds they can get.
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Finally reaching his home, Gilchrist fumbles for the keys, and unlocks the door. The base commander made sure to take care of the little details when Gilchrist was taken to hospital.
He walks inside, to notice that someone had cleaned up the place. The trash was cleared, and the dishes washed. There was a note on the counter.
- The bottom scoring operators were assigned to clean up the place. Our sincere condolences. Hope you come by the barracks.
Col. Rathburn -
A smirk shows itself on Gilchrist's face. He remembers what Major Burns told him. "Take a moment to live your life." He intends to do so. Nothing extravagant like blowing all his money and hiring a bus full of strippers. He intends to enjoy the finer things in life, for as long as he can. His drinks cabinet is stocked up. The humidor is keeping the little prisoners comfortable. He is home with food and internet. And the world is on lockdown. Binge watching a show or two won't hurt.
Right?
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The mistake Gilchrist made was to invoke the wrath of Murphy. He blew a week, A WEEK, on the MCU and X-men movies. Being hooked on to the fantasy and escapism that is provided is really detrimental to someone looking to be productive. But someone in Gilchrist's situation, it takes the existential crisis and puts it on a back burner. It helps but also gives a lot of time for thoughts to form.
So after being completely useless for a week, Gilchrist decided to get his shit together, and go visit his unit. Get the discharge filed and completed ASAP. He had decided that he won't be able to look at his squad and unit gearing up and heading out and not being a part of it. It's just not who he is. It's not who these men are. If the test results were from a civilian clinic he would've hid the results for as long as he thought he wasn't a risk to the mission.
The words of one of his training officers resounded is his head through out the week.
"The unit comes first. The unit, the men that make up the unit are the first mission for every officer, regardless of rank, trade, branch, or operation. The men will take care of the mission. You, the officers must take care of the men.
Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death. - Sun Tzu"
Going over the results and the time frame he was given of 3-9 months, a wide range but that was preliminary. What if his health deteriorated in the middle of a jump? At a stake out? What if he passed out when his men needed him? He cannot in good conscience lead his men in his current condition. He cannot be a liability.
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It has been 2 days since Gilchrist was discharged from service. He now gets a partial pension and a relief payment from the government due to COVID-19. He doesn't exactly need it due to the fact he saved up most of his money. Also due to COVID-19. He has been granted permission to stay at his base accommodation.
In short the situation is as follows. Low rent for base housing. Enough money for food and internet. A fully stocked drinks cabinet. A few hundred cigars he's collected over the years in his humidor. And due to living in the free world a working healthcare system. The only downside is that there is no more cricket. Other than that and dying a slow agonizing death, life is good.
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He went to sleep that night, quite calm and slightly drunk. He felt random soreness and pains throughout his body during the day, and talking to the doctor over the phone, a good idea on paper, but completely useless for more severe cases.
A few minutes later he was out cold in the physical world. Hoping to dream of more cheerful times.
- 1st POV -
I saw complete and utter darkness. 'This is different' I thought to myself. I've had dreams sleep before but this feels off somehow. I have full consciousness and control over my faculties. But this is not lucid dreaming. I am unable to change my surroundings and setting. No matter how hard I try to picture the valley of the Khyber pass and the mountains of Spin Ghar, I can not change my surroundings.
I don't know how long it's been. I can no longer keep an accurate account of time. It's not Jedi voodoo shit. Just an occupational necessity. You need to be able to keep time and have a rough idea of what's going on around you during an op. Even in your sleep.
I try to look around, I can feel myself moving, my vision shifting, but the darkness is all encompassing. This is not normal. I know darkness, hiding deep in a cave where even in the afternoon the light doesn't reach. The training with the American SEALs. Putting explosives under a boat at night. Being blindfolded and left in isolation. I know darkness. This is not it. It feels more dangerous yet benign. Turbulent yet calm. Nothing and everything.
As I continue to try and get my bearings, I feel someone or something looking at me. I turn in all directions and finally spot something. A pinprick of light. Not light exactly just something not as dark as the background.
The sensation disappears and I am now at a cross-roads. To the left there is the same darkness with someone or something watching me. To the right there is a different kind of darkness, one tinged burgundy and dark purple. I could feel the unadulterated malevolence, regret, hate and suffering. Instinctively I knew what, or rather, where that was and I did not want to go there if it could be helped.
There was a path behind me that had the familiarity of life. But the stench of decay and the feeling of hopelessness was too much to bear. Finally there was a broken off path ahead. It was inviting. There was a soft glow in the distance but the path was nowhere to be found. There was what seemed like a cliff and then the destination in the distance. There was no information about this path. Nothing. As if it were entirely up to me to decide if my leap of faith would get me to my destination. The soft glow seemed to radiate its brilliance in the darkness all around me, and that threw off my depth perception for a bit. A few moments later once I adjusted to the new surroundings. I realized that the soft glow to the path a head was coming from a completely different source. It seemed close enough. A running start and bit of faith and I'm there. But on closer inspection, the "soft glow" a few meters in front of me was actually from a distant source far away. Giving a false sense of faith and security. I knew this path was not for me. Playing games without knowing all the facts and rules.
So here were my choices. To my left, someone or something watching me from the darkness. To my right, pain and suffering. Behind me, decay and despair. In front of me, lies and false pretences.
Right, no.
Going back now, no.
Ahead, a game of lies, no.
Left, someone definitely someone not something, waiting, watching. Not as a predator. More like someone who was on a date arranged by a friend. A stranger, but familiar at the same time. Both an unknown and known quantity. Seeing as my other available choices were completely unacceptable I chose to go Left.