Golden Boy Finds a Knife in His Friend's Room
James POV:
Soon after I dealt with the problem that I created using simply my mind and a little too much of a certain type of attraction to a certain R.A.B., I got a tap/ knock on my window.
I sprinted to the window knowing that was either my parents responding to me asking if Regulus could move to our house or it was Regulus responded to my letter asking him to live with me. And either way, I needed to know what the answer was. And I needed to know fast before I lost my entire damn mind, which was bound to happen soon.
I opened the window and sure enough, it was Reggie's owl (I've went with him to send out letter before, I'm not stalking him and his pets) and I knew I needed to see his answer.
The letter read,
"Dear James,
Words cannot express how truly grateful I am to have someone like you in my life.
While I normally do not inquire for or receive help from anyone, I will take you up on offer.
I did not know what I was to do or how I was to make it on my own.
It was a great stress factor for me and was weighing down on me at all hours of the day.
You are probably my favorite person right about now and kind of just overall (don't tell Evan, Barty, or Dorcas because they would kill you to take that title for themselves).
I love you :)
Meet me in my dorm in an hour.
Your dearest friend (because I am better than my brother),
R.A.B."
Friend. See James. You and Regulus are just friends stop making it weird. You've been friends for a very long time now. Friends. And that's what you think of him as because after years of rejection you wouldn't go out and fall for one of your favorite friends who just so happens to be a bloke. And you absolutely wouldn't realize your crush just because your friends made a joke about how you invited him to live with you after his parents kicked him out.
Oh, who am I fucking kidding. I had to have a literal wank because I thought a little to... in depth about me and him. Friends don't do that last I checked. I mean, unless they do, and I've just been doing friendship wrong this whole time. Which I doubt is even close to as likely as me wanting to shag one of my best friends. But everything is a possibility, I guess.
Doesn't matter right now, I have to get an outfit that screams 'I'm bisexual and want to make out with you because I'm actually hopelessly in love with everything about you' so maybe he gets the hint. If I can say it without saying it and get him to realize he's actually madly in love with me and wants to date as soon as humanly possible.
Once I finally drag myself out of my bed and get dressed in a Gryffindor jumper and some black cargo pants, I head out the door to make my way down the dungeons.
---------------- time jump to when James is just outside of Regulus' door because I'm lazy and sleep deprived---------------
I knock on his dorm room door. I don't especially know why I'm here considering we either hang out somewhere fun in the castle/go to Hogsmeade or we hang out in my dorm with the other Marauders or just us. But never has he invited me to his dorm. I always assumed it was because the rest of Slytherin didn't like me or they would try to hurt me, but it might've been more about him getting the chance to escape them.
Just then the door swings open and a very tired looking Reggie throws his arms around me and just hangs onto me as if I'm dying. This confused me because no matter what it was that I did or that happened he never gave out hugs. If you wanted a hug from him, you had to beg for it until he's just too tired to deal with arguing, and even then, it's a huge struggle. And not to mention the huge, oversized jumper he was wearing.
"I love you, James."
"I love you too Reggie." He doesn't know how true I'm being right now. "And I always will. I'm glad you're safe from them now. I really am."
"Alright you're just a big sap. Come in."
"Wow insulting me and then asking me into your bedroom, that doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship. Don't be toxic Reggie." I said as I walk into his pretty big dorm room. It looked like it was bigger than my dorm. Lucky bastard.
"I- uh- well- SHUT UP." He looked... flustered? He was blushing a lot. There's no way because all I did was make a joke about how if we were dating, he would be being toxic acting like that to me. And that would only fluster him if he liked me back or something, and he definitely doesn't.
"You don't look like you want me to shut up. You, dare I say may even look like you want me to keep going." I took a step closer to him. I was enjoying this.
TW: TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM AND CUTS
When all the sudden a glint of red shine on his desk caught my eye.
I moved to the location and even though he attempted to keep me back I still made my way over and picked up a knife that was glistening with relatively fresh-looking blood covering it.
I froze.
"Regulus. What is this?" I didn't have to ask. I knew what it was. Regulus has been cutting himself again.
"I don't know how that-"
"Do not LIE to me Regulus. Show me your arms. Take off your jumper and show me your arms."
"James, I'm telling you-"
"I thought we didn't lie anymore Regulus... I thought we made progress. You promised you would come to me before doing something you may regret. You promised." I wasn't trying to make him feel bad, I just couldn't believe he didn't come to me when he said he would. Does h not trust me anymore? Does he hate me?
"James, we have made progress. I trust you a lot, but I just thought I needed to let myself relapse once. I thought it would only happen once and then I would go back to being clean. But instead, it's been around 2 times a week that I add another slash to one of my arms." It breaks my heart to see him like this. Sobbing and talking about his self-harm. I just want to jump into his mind and suck out all the negative thoughts and leave him as a happy and free of burden individual.
"Reggie... take off your jumper, now. I want to make sure they've been treated properly and will heal alright. I don't want you to have to deal with an infection."
"James. I'm sorry but I'm not doing that. There's way more than anything you've seen before. I'm not letting you see it. You will think of me as someone who's broken, someone who needs fixing." My poor baby... I feel bad but I am not letting this go until I've seen that the cuts were properly treated. And if they weren't, I'm going to treat them myself.
"I'm not letting it go until you let me clean them up and make sure they'll all heal up on their own. What if you need stitches for some of them and you don't find out because you didn't show me? It's dangerous to not let anyone check them out." I'm starting to get a bit irritated; I mean, I already know it happened and he's just straight up refusing my help. I'm not even going to lie; I did roll my eyes and shake my head to the side.
"You know what, fine. If you want to see them so badly, I'll fucking show you." I snapped my head from the side back to see him rip his jumper and shirt off of his body...
And it was bad. There were cuts on his arms, his torso (mainly his stomach), and even on his lower back. Every inch of him was covered in lines of red. Some were older than others, but they were all still very much there and not healed up yet.
I don't how long I was looking at him, but I do know that I started crying and walked over to him. I stood right up against him and placed a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry Reggie...It was wrong of me to feel so entitled to being the one to help you. C'mon, let's get you cleaned up." I noticed he was crying too. And he looked very nervous about something for some reason.
END OF TRIGGERING SECTION
He just nodded as a response, and I started to lead to way to the bathroom.
"James." I turn around right before opening the door to his dorm room's bathroom. I noticed that there's a strange edge to his voice. Not like he's mad or upset with me, but something is clearly wrong. Probably still upset at the prior events.
"Why are you staring at me like that?"
He blinks, rolls his eyes, laughs, and walks toward me slowly (while still laughing), stops right in front of me, leans in... and whispers, "You're a dumbass James. The answer to that question is looking right at you and you can't take the hint."
"What was that for? And what do you mean it's staring at me?"
He just shakes his head with a smile on his face, "Let's go get me cleaned up."
"Yeah... let's." What was he talking about?