When Sirius walked into their room Remus was crouching in front of the fish tank and appeared to be studying Sheba. "What are you doing Moony?" Remus literally flung himself into the air gasping and then fell onto the bed. "JESUS FUCK." Sirius burst out laughing, sometimes Remus could be so in his own world.
Sirius almost doubled over laughing but that was until he heard the coughing, he looked back up at Remus's face. His eyes were wide and he was grasping at his throat, his coughs coming a couple ten seconds between each other, the seconds in between filled with no air at all. Fuck. Sirius rushed forward and noticed that Remus was wheezing and he could barely hear his boyfriends breaths at all. "Fuck Moony, inhaler? Water? Tell me what I need to do." Sirius could feel his own hands trembling as he went to rub Remus's back, it's never lasted thing long before.
Remus motions with his hands to the empty glass of water, Sirius basically falls with how fast he runs towards it. The whole way to the bathroom, his heart pounding in his ears as he grabs Remus's inhaler and fills the glass as quickly as possible. Some of the water spills on the way back but Sirius's mind is moving too quickly to notice.
Back in the room he sees Remus laying sideways on the bed, eyes closed. "Moony I got your water, do you need help sitting up?" Sirius's keeps his voice soft as he approaches his boyfriend. That is until he can't see the heave of his chest. "Remus?" He drops the glass. "REMUS! WAKE UP! REMUS WAKE UP! REMUS!" He starts shaking his shoulders. "JAMES, PETER HELP!" He screams holding Remus's body closer to him. He can hear their footsteps sprinting through the house. James is in first prying Sirius off Remus and moving him onto the bed preforming CPR. Peter comes in next phone in hand dialing 999 before he even arrived. "It's my flatmate, he's not breathing. Yeah" Peter's voice sounds forced calm and his eyes are huge. He gives the police their address, "He has cystic fibrosis." Peter says pacing back and forth wiping his free hand on his jeans.
Time feels frozen and Sirius slowly looks back over at Remus's unmoving body, it looks like his lips are turning even more blue. Sirius goes to his other side and leans down next to James whispering in his boyfriends ear, "Just stay with us, okay?" His voice catches and a loud sob echos out of his throat, "I can't lose you. I can't lose you." James doesn't stop until the medics arrive, he seemed to have done something too, Remus's chest is moving even if only slightly.
They follow the stretcher out the door and James immediately grabs his keys so that they can follow the ambulance, James's own chest is heaving from the air he put into Remus. Sirius feels numb, like he just got dropped in a huge ice bath. Like he's dying. Like a part of him is dying. They all run to James car and Sirius prays. Sirius has never been one to pray, not at school, at home, anywhere. But he's praying now. He's asking any and all gods to let his moony live. Then he grabs his phone and finds the right contact, holding the phone to his ear. It's late, they were just about to go to bed, that at all been but forty five minutes ago. They had only lived together for three months, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair.
"Hello?" Alice's voice sounded tired, Sirius probably woke her up.
He couldn't find his voice, the only thing leaving his body were sobs, loud ones, Pete who had sat in the back with him pulled him close. "Sirius. Sirius what's going on. Did something happen? Where's Remus?" suddenly she sounded alert and Sirius vaguely recognized Franks voice in the background, he had gone to visit her this weekend.
"He's on his way to the hospital" Sirius finally managed to gasp out.
He can hear rustling and the dangling of keys, "I'll meet you there." her voice grown tight, "Sirius, stay strong. Stay strong for Remus, It'll be okay." For some reason that's what broke him, the realization of what was happening, he was secretly glad James had dealt with this before, he knew more what do to. "I'll see you soon love." Then she hung up. Peter grabbed his head and moved it to the corner of his neck slowly rocking him back and forth. He vaguely noticed James glancing back in the rearview mirror, the panicked expression on his face. Pete is whispering to him but he can't hear it. The only sound in his ears is his own slamming heart.
Alice lived closer so naturally she was there when they pulled up, he could see her pacing through the glass doors. He didn't even remember leaving the car he was just sprinting in as fast as possible. Frank was on the phone in the corner clearly talking to Hope and Lyall, he looked at Sirius with sad eyes when he entered. "Alice" His voice broke and she rushed forward, her own tears cascading down her face. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Can we see him?" his voice muffled into her sweatshirt. "No love. The doctors have him." Sirius became painfully aware of how numb Franks face appeared, how Alice hadn't said 'its going to be okay' or that Remus had made it to the hospital on time. The doctor have him could mean anything really. He sobbed into her shoulder.
He saw James sit down next to Frank and put a hand on his shoulder, Frank and James got along the instant they met. He see's James whisper something and Frank shakes his head. James's face breaks, his bottom lip quivers and whenever he looks back at Sirius, Sirius can see his fight to keep it under control. Then he watches as he pulls Frank into a side hug, narrowly avoiding the phone that Frank is still talking into. "I texted Lily." Alice murmurs into his hair, her voice sounding monotonous and dull. She was coping. "She's on her way." Alice and Lily were like Frank and James, they had become fast friends. They had become friends because Remus had introduced them, Remus, the same Remus that was most likely...
Sirius felt his legs go out and he slumped into Alice's arms, she sunk onto the floor with him holding him tightly to her chest while sobs ran through his body, "I can't lose him Alice. I can't. I love him. I love him. I love him." he was rambling at this point and he could feel Alice's own tears slip into his hair. "Sirius honey, I need you to stand up. We need to go sit in the chairs okay? We don't know for sure that he's-" her voice cuts off with a muffled sob "-we need to be here if he does wake up. Okay?" Sirius doesn't move. He can't, but he feels Alice move him slightly to her side and another pair of arms wrap around him middle. Most likely Pete. He barely registers them moving him to a chair. He slumps into it, zoning in on the spots on the shiny floor in front of him, unblinking for who knows how long. The sobs have stopped but the tears still stream freely down his cheeks.
He's not sure when she got there or how long it had been but he acknowledges vaguely a blur of red hair sitting next to him and resting her head on his shoulder and her arm wrapping around his torso. She doesn't say anything just remains quiet, her and Remus have developed a bond, maybe because she's a lot like Alice but he can tell she's trying to be strong for him. In other situations he would feel guilty for all of his friends only focusing on him. But the only thing that matters now is Remus.
"Where is he?" a familiar worried and raised voice asks loudly and he finally bring his gaze up to see Alice, Hope and Lyall all talking to a doctor. It doesn't appear to be Remus's, just one that passed by. Sirius nudges Lily slightly and Lily unwraps herself from him wordlessly. He walks slowly over to his boyfriends parents, unsure of how he's moving his legs. Lyall, who was looking around frantically finally looks at him. Lyall's eyes soften slightly, Sirius forgot that Remus had told him not that long ago that his parents basically accepted his inevitable death. They just wanted the time they could get. It was sad that they were the calmest ones here, Sirius knew it wasn't out of care, just basically self preservation, their son had been in the hospital more times than they could probably count. Each time could have been the end, they learned to accept each time.
Sirius stops a couple steps back and Hope's voice trails off as she looks over, he suddenly feels very guilty, he scared Remus, he moved him away from their home in some sense, he didn't get to him on time, if he just had announced his presence down the hall none of the would have happened. He looks down at the ground, his bottom lip trembling and his whole body shaking. "I'm sorry, it's my fault, I accidentally scared him when I walked into the room and he screamed and then" - he sobbed finally and twisted his hands together "-then he couldn't breathe and I didn't get the water or inhaler in time and...and" He's cut off by strong arms pulling him in. Then Hope hugging him from the back as well. "Sirius this is not your fault. Remus being scared or yelling wouldn't have put him in the hospital, it was going to happen no matter what." Lyall voice was soft and comforting. Sirius almost hated it, it was his fault, they should hate him. He fucking hates himself. They stay in the hug for awhile until Lyall suddenly pulls away and puts his arm around both Sirius and Hope. A doctor is standing in front of them, Sirius see's Alice walk up to take Hopes hand.
"Are you Remus Lupin's family?" his voice is soft yet extremely monotone and it causes dread to pool in Sirius's stomach.
"Yes" Hope says forcing a smile at the doctor.
The doctor nods and bows his head slightly, "come with me."
They follow the doctor to a small room in the end of a long hallway to where Remus is laying, his heartbeat on the monitor says its slow but still beating. Please keep beating. Sirius repeats that in his mind as they look at Remus's body. "Why is he not on oxygen?" Sirius asks and feels Lyall pull him closer. Hope now lets out a quiet sob and closes her eyes nodding, he watches as Alice sinks to the floor placing her head in her hands. Sirius looks at the doctor who has an extremely solemn expression. "Why is he not on oxygen! Doesn't he need that right now? He's going to die without it!" Sirius was hysterical and attempting to run forward but Lyall grip on him only tightened. "The oxygen will only make it more painful." the doctor responds closing his eyes for a second.
"Make what more painful? Breathing?"
Lyall grabs Sirius's shoulders and turns him towards him, "It's time son. It's his time." the words don't sink in at first but when they do, they hit like a cinderblock and Sirius is running towards Remus's body and out of Lyall grasp before he can pull him close again. He grabs Remus's hand and its colder than normal. His jaw is slack and his face is almost white, he hardly even looks like Remus anymore. He doesn't look the same as he did just hours ago in their apartment. He is dying, you can see it just by looking at him, this is the end.
The only thing Sirius can think to do is touch him and hope Remus can feel and hear him, he places a soft palm on Remus's forehead then leans to his ear. "Moony-" his voice breaks "Moony, I love you. I love you and I will never love anyone the way I love you. It's not fair that someone as kind, beautiful and precious as you has to leave this world. But before you go, please, I just need you to know that I love you. You've fought so hard. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. Just let me say goodbye." Just as Sirius places a final kiss to Remus's forehead the machine beeps, long and loud. Then just like that he's being pulled away by doctors and Hope and Lyall take his spot next to their sons body saying their own goodbyes.
Sirius's sobs are so hard he thinks his lungs might burst and he also thinks he might be okay with that. The doctors drag him out, as nicely as they can, one is even apologizing profusely and they bring him back to his friends. He recognizes for a split second that Euphemia and Fleamont have arrived but James is pulling him to his chest in seconds and Alice is laying her head on his chest sobbing her own sobs. Frank takes his spot next to Alice, Lily next to James and Pete next to him. They all hold him, they let him scream, they let him cry and they all let their own tears fall. Losing Remus was like losing himself, he found himself in Moony, now he was lost again.
They stayed like that until Sirius eventually fell asleep with his cheek pushed against Jame's torso and Lily's arms around his neck. He was sure Alice was holding his hand as well. When he woke it was too James opening his car door, he sat up and looked at James's face. It was flat, not a single emotion on his best friends features, he had never once seen James Potter so numb. James Potter didn't do numb, "You want me to carry you?" his voice was sincere and Peter appeared next to him and smiled one of the saddest smiles he had ever seen on a person. "I can help too." it wasn't a joke, they wanted to carry him, to hold him. Silently he nodded and let James pull his body to his chest and felt Pete hold his hand, it was slightly awkward but it was the only sense of comfort he'd felt for the whole night.
They walked him to his room and James laid him down on his bed, Peter cursed slightly and James gasped, then there was scraping from the bedside table. Sirius opened one sad eye to see Pete picking up Sheba's fishtanks and he felt panic bubble up his throat. "No! No! Bring them back! Bring Sheba back!" He was full on screaming but he didn't care, Sheba was Remus's fish and that's all- Pete turns around slowly to reveal Sheba floating upside down in the tank. The uneaten food trailing down around him. Sheba was dead and so was Remus. Internally, Sirius was as well.
He was frozen and his friend's voices became muffled. Like a reflex Sirius pulled out his phone and opened messages typing out one last message
(3:34 AM)Second Sheba's death was your fault this time. Guess they didn't know how to live without you.
The screen became blurred with his vision and he pressed send.
(3:34) I don't either Moony. I don't either.
Sirius died the moment that machine flatlined, nobody noticed though because his body was not the one hooked up to it.