I feel dirty.
These thoughts are driving me crazy. I find myself in a cage of my desires. I keep saying it's horrible and immoral, but...
Your body drives me crazy.
You're like a porcelain doll that will break just one accidental touch. The curves of your body under the white sheet seem holy and inaccessible to my vicious hands. Every day the burning fire in my foolish heart grows hotter and more irresistible.
I am sorry.
I have held on for a long time. It's been a whole week since your friends have been looking for you, not even aware of me. After all, I've been out of the loop for a long time. You can be proud of yourself, I haven't given anyone that much time. Apparently our shared past has affected me greatly after all, and I've only allowed myself to watch for now.
We can talk a lot about mistakes. What was your mistake? That you walked into that coffee shop, taking exactly the same coffee you take every day? You knew I was a good potionist, didn't you? Maybe your mistake was the very road you take to the Ministry every day. You know, sometimes it pays to change your tastes. You're so predictable, Potter! Or maybe your mistake was the surprised smile you gave me when we ran into each other. You hadn't seen me in about two years, and you were really excited to see me. And I was... What a disgusting, sick bastard I was, and still am. I saw you every fucking day, wishing I could be alone with you.
I admit that my plan was horrible and painfully primitive. You could have avoided buying your favorite coffee for once! You could have gone to work through the fireplace for once, instead of walking like a miserable Muggle! Why are you so predictable, Potter?
Ironically, the case you've been investigating all this time will end up being you. And it will finally be solved. I have no reason to live anymore. I've reached my goal.
And still, I feel dirty. Somehow, with those other people, that feeling never occurred. They were all faceless under those white sheets. I always imagined only you. Every time I kissed their bluish, cold lips, I only remembered your green eyes with dark specks. Every time I touched their stiffened hands, I remembered how you had pulled me out of the fires of hell with your hands. Every time I stroked their crotch, all I could think of was how I would moan under my touch. And then I remembered that you're married and these people are just a ghostly substitute, and I furiously began to cut them. But it didn't hurt them, because I'm a good potionist. Poisons are the best way to kill a man. By the way, I saved a vial of the potion for myself as well. You don't think I'd let myself live after what I've done.
What do you think I'll do to you in the first place? I've been pondering for a whole week, stretching my pleasure. First I wanted to put a bunch of hickeys on your beautiful tanned neck. Merlin, you have no idea how much I love tags. And if you'd had any logic, you'd have figured me out long ago. But you ignored the message I left you in the bodies of the unfortunate. All you had to do was look more closely at the contents of the poisons. Of course, they were always different; am I an idiot to poison people with the same poison. I have a rich imagination. If you take the first letters of the ingredients and combine them, you get words! Brilliant, don't you think? You have no idea how much effort it took me to pick these fucking herbs over and over again to make sure they fit both the letter and didn't blow up my precious cauldron.
I'm sorry I get confused. Ah, yes the message.
"Malkin, train, snitch, hatred, badges, ferret, Sectumsempra, manor, wand, hellfire." Let's face it, you obviously didn't get the brains in your trio. But you're charming all the same. Even though your lips are cold and dry, I'm ready to kiss them again and again.
Do you agree that the sheet is in our way? Merlin, I'm going to die really happy. Your naked body surpasses all my expectations. No, I didn't squeak with delight, Malfoys don't squeak. Maybe a little. Can I kiss all your moles? It's nice to know you have a mole on your pelvic bone. That's gonna be my favorite mole. Let's spread your long, slender, wiry legs a little bit. I want to explore all of you.
Wow, I didn't even know a body in stasis could also retain smell! And taste! Your cock is so soft and salty. I wish it would harden right away, but it's a shame the dead don't circulate blood. I'm ready now. Touch it... Feel how hard it is? I'm gonna spread my legs wide, okay? I promise it won't hurt, I'm a good potion-maker.
You have no idea how good it feels to finally be inside you. So malleable, so submissive. Can you hear my balls slapping against your tight ass? Of course, you can't hear it or know it, but...
Yes.
I did it.
I'm the dirtiest I've ever been. But happy beyond all measure. Potter, you were great. What's it like to lie on a cold table and bleed my sperm? Well, it's time to go. And as much as I'd like to prolong this pleasure, we're already late. I'm not like that, cruel, I'll let your loved ones say goodbye to you. Just wait, I'll get the potion.
Five minutes and we'll apparate to the very place where I picked you up. Just when the potion's working.
Hey, Potter. You ready?
Please forgive me when we meet in the afterlife.
Love you, your Draco.