Skidding on the curves of your heart

Mapi looks at Ingrid wanting to solve complicated crossword puzzles in Norwegian and smiles despite herself.

-I can feel that half smile you always have-says Ingrid without looking up and writing down a word.

-That’s so you don’t think I can’t smile-answers the Spanish woman, satisfied with the giggle that the black-haired starts laughing at-so you finally got the hang of this whole thing

-It’s a little addictive-now Ingrid looks at her briefly-and I blame you.

-Well, you’re welcome-says Mapi in a smug but acted tone.

-Your humility moves me.

Silence falls between the two after this cheerful exchange and they stand side by side with Mapi watching Ingrid work. They are on the plane and the whole family is around. All of Ingrid’s family, not her family, even if they treat her like one of their own. Even Anders, the little brother who is so similar to Ingrid, is nice and friendly, easy-going and simple, and he calls her “the latest addition to the family.” Mapi doesn’t know if it’s Gudrun’s doing or if he senses something.

Ada is further ahead and Mapi is moved by the fact that she can do all this with her family, with her children. She has also grown fond of the woman.

Well, Jill is nowhere to be found, but Mapi doesn’t dare ask. Ingrid may be meeting her in Oslo, or maybe the relationship is so new that Ingrid is still hiding it from her family.

That she is not there for the moment is a relief. She does not want to witness anything that involves them both.

-Are you Ok?

It wouldn’t be difficult to take courage and ask Ingrid, but that would be revealing what she feels. They are friends, that’s what they decided, and everything will remain as friendship.

-Yes, everything is fine-Mapi puts on her headphones and leans back in her seat, closing the eyes.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Arriving at the hotel in the afternoon is a bit chaotic because there is a large group and apparently many people chose the same place to stay because of its proximity to the stadium.

-Mamma-calls Ingrid, squinting her eyes suspiciously-it says shared room here.

-There were no more rooms available, Ingrid-Gudrun apologizes very seriously-it’s all I could find, just look around you.

-And I guess I don’t need to ask you who I’m going to share with.

-Well, you’re the only single girls in the family-Gudrun says in a wheedling tone,-and until one of you decides to change that status, you’ll remain that way. It seemed the logical thing to do.

-Yeah, the most logical thing-Ingrid rolls her eyes and locates Mapi to bring her up to date.

The Spanish woman raises an eyebrow and only murmurs a nod, rather sparing with words since they got off the plane.

At least Ingrid hopes that there are two beds in the room and that Gudrun’s matchmaking machinations will not go so far as to make them sleep in a double bed.

-Wow-it comes out more like a whistle from Mapi when they open the door and see the only bed in the center of the room.

-Oh, Mom is so… Jesus Christ! I’m going to talk to her-Ingrid mumbles without even putting down her luggage and turning around furiously to reach her parents’ room a few doors down.

Mapi enters, looks around the room, leaves her luggage on the bed and waits. But then she thinks that this is something that concerns her, because sleeping in the same bed as Ingrid… no.

So she goes out and approaches Gudrun and Ingrid and maybe she has to act as a mediator because the black-haired woman is visibly very upset.

-Maria, I’m very sorry. I requested double beds when I made the reservation.

-You don’t have to apologize, maybe the front desk can help us? I’ll go down and ask for another room or whatever.

-I’ll do that-says Ingrid looking at her mother intently.

-I don’t think it’s fair-Mapi intervenes in a soft voice-You’ve gone to a lot of trouble with me and the least I can do is ask for another room. I can do that.

Mapi takes a brief look at each one and goes down to the reception desk, praying to herself that there is something else available.

Well, they explain to her that the hotel is full and that the only solution is to ask for a room in another hotel one that is a short distance away.

Ingrid hears this because she went after Mapi and it simply seems crazy to her to make her stay somewhere else.

-María, you don’t have to go. I mean, can we share? It’ll only be two nights and the bed seems big.

Mapi swallows and thinks of another alternative that doesn’t involve Ingrid’s body just a few centimetres from hers for two nights.

-I don’t want to bother you, okay? -Ingrid continues-but it wouldn’t be fair for you to move to another hotel either.

-No… I don’t think you’ll bother me.

-Okay, then, we can do this.

-I’m sure it is-Mapi thinks, holding back a sigh.

Once inside the room, they get into a little routine as they put away their luggage, use the bathroom, and decide which side of the bed to sleep on. And Mapi puts on two extra coats because she is always cold at night.

That brings a tender smile to Ingrid’s face. She assumed it, that’s all.

Everyone is supposed to meet for dinner and Mapi is getting ready, still not knowing if the outfits she brought are ideal. It’s been so long since she did any of this. And asking Ingrid is definitely not a good idea, just thinking about her looking at her like she did before… makes every hair on her body stand on end.

So Mapi changes clothes when Ingrid is in the bathroom and quickly comes down without waiting for her. She wants to gain time. To think. To decide how to act calmly.

Time to prepare too. The match between Norway and Spain is tomorrow and she didn’t write to anyone announcing that she would go. Not Patri, Aitana or the rest. But she checked and all of them will definitely be there.

There are no more messages from Patri like before. Mapi was expecting one or something, something that would tell her that her friend has not forgotten her yet. And if she has, Mapi thinks she deserves it for being so mean and elusive.

-Well, thanks for waiting for me, María.

Thank God she’s not drinking anything or she would have spit half of it out. Ingrid is a beautiful sight standing in front of her with a disgusted grimace and her arms crossed.

-I… was thirsty.

-I see, but the usual thing is to ask for something drink, you know.

-Trapped.

-I thought we had left behind that stage where we felt uncomfortable with each other.

-Yeah, sorry, I guess I just have a lot on my mind.

-For tomorrow’s game? I never thought inviting you would make you feel like this.

-Yes, about tomorrow-she confirms-but I’ll get over it.

-About that… -Ingrid hums with a pronounced apologetic grimace.

-What’s happening?

-Frida. And well, Oscar too. They will meet Caro, but also…

-You want to meet the girls, right? -was something Mapi had already imagined.

-Yeah, and I swear we tried to get some kind of VIP pass or something but there was nothing left.

-I… -Mapi runs her hand through her hair and purses her mouth in thought. She can’t be selfish with two children- I’ll see what I can do.

-I know you don’t want anyone to know but it will mean a lot to them.

-I know-Mapi sighs, and the skin on her forearm burns where Ingrid rests her hand.

-Thank you.

And she sounds so sincere and truly grateful.

What would she not do for this woman? There is nothing she could deny her, not to her or to anyone in the family.

-Always, Ingrid,

The black-haired smiles and turns to greet her brothers.

And Mapi takes a few minutes to send a message to Patri. And if Patri doesn’t respond, she will do it to Aita, and so on.

But they keep it a secret so that the children don’t get too excited and because it’s not certain that Mapi will achieve anything. It seems that Ingrid has a lot of faith, but she doesn’t know that she has alienated the vast majority of her classmates and friends.

The dinner is so pleasant and full of laughter that Mapi has already become accustomed to it. The hermit who never left home and ran away from people. And there she is in Oslo surrounded by these people who show her another perspective and welcome her without hesitation as one of their own.

Family.

A knot settles in her stomach when she thinks about her parents. She pushed them away so much throughout her life that she didn’t know how to fix it. It’s true that her relationship with them was never particularly close, but they tried to stay and be there, and Mapi continued to push them away, especially after what happened.

She catches Ingrid’s gaze across the table and the two of them stay together. Ingrid seems to ask her if everything is okay, with that calm, gentle gesture, tilting her head, that she sometimes has for her. It’s strange that she usually seems to notice when her thoughts take her away.

Mapi puts down her cutlery and takes a big drink of water and stops looking at her. She answers Anders’ questions about what it’s like to live away from the world and he opens his eyes wide when he finds out that it now belongs to his own sister. And he gives the black-haired a mocking smile.

Mapi doesn’t miss the eloquent look that Ingrid gives her and how she lowers her eyes in shame. Maybe that’s what she meant when she explained that she didn’t let her stay in the cabin just because she was attracted to her.

And yes, Mapi is already thinking about it in the past.

They stay a while longer, order dessert, and then each one goes off in different directions. Ingrid leaves first of all without even a glance.

Mapi wants to stretch her legs and take a nice walk, so she avoids going up to the room too quickly. And also, because out of the corner of her eye she saw Ingrid walking towards the bar with a blonde on her arm. Oh, great.

-No, Gudrun, I’m really not angry about the episode in bed.

-But Maria, it really wasn’t on purpose.

-I know, why would you do that, right? -she gently pats the older woman on the shoulder and steps outside to breathe some fresh air.

She takes a deep breath, holds it, and exhales. She puts the hands in her jacket pockets and walks slowly, taking care to walk in a straight line so as not to stray far or get lost.

Thinking is inevitable. Ingrid is with Jill and she is thinking about Ingrid. She curses the moment when she let everything get out of her hands, believing that she was under control, that the established limits were there acting as insurmountable barriers.

She walks until she reaches a park that is quite close and stops for a moment on the sidewalk just looking. She hates how sentimental she has become lately that has tears running down each of her cheeks. It’s the whole combination of things that makes her like this, it’s everything that happened so long ago. And Ingrid.

She shudders because she feels Ingrid’s presence even before she speaks.

-Hey.

Mapi wipes her tears with the back of her hand and although Ingrid’s sharp eyes question her silently, the Norwegian does not ask questions or press.

-I thought I wouldn’t make it, isn’t that ironic? I said the same thing a few days ago.

-Yes, I… I felt like going for a walk,

Ingrid has a nice side smile and gets much closer to her.

-Alone, I imagine-a slight shrug of the shoulders-and I come to take away your peace and quiet.

-You don’t.

-You’re not being honest.

Mapi shakes her head and finally looks at her. She shudders again at Ingrid’s confused and distressed expression.

-I don’t like knowing that you’re upset about something and I can’t do anything-says the Norwegian.

-Not…

-Don’t deny it. I’m not here to force you to talk either, but I’ve sensed it since we arrived. You were a bit absent at dinner, and I just want you to know that I’m here.

-I know you are-Mapi doesn’t even think about what all this implies.

She doesn’t take her hands out of the pockets, but with a gesture she offers her right arm to Ingrid and she joins in. They continue walking slowly in silence, stealing glances at each other from time to time.

-You left so quickly after dinner that I didn’t have time to properly introduce you to someone.

-Oh yeah? -The lump in her throat takes a while to subside.

-It’s my favourite blonde-says Ingrid.

-I’ve seen her before-Mapi murmurs, begging not to have to go through the ordeal of Ingrid taking her to Jill and introducing her as her girlfriend.

-I know that, but let’s say that when Frido went to talk to you, it didn’t go well for obvious reasons? Now I’d like to introduce her to you properly, you’re going to like her a lot.

-Frido? -and finally the knot disappears.

-Yes, my best friend. We spent some time at the hotel bar but we’ll probably see her tomorrow for dinner and I’m really looking forward to you meeting her.

Mapi feels relieved without specifying why (of course she knows why) and nods. And half smiles.

They return to the hotel, delaying the moment and part ways as they enter the elevator, lest Gudrun sees them. Neither of them care about anyone but her and her matchmaking attempts.

They prepare to sleep with a concern that is obviously not foreign to them. They will share a bed after what happened and what didn’t happen! And for Mapi it is simply overwhelming.

As she took the right side, she quickly crawls under the covers, regretting the pathetic nightwear she brought thinking she would be alone. Surely Ingrid is wearing one of those silk pajamas so feminine and appropriate for someone like her. Covered up to her head.

However, she surprises her by coming out in a huge t-shirt with a koala in the middle and shorts that show off a lot of leg. Meters of smooth, shiny legs that force her to look away.

And as soon as Ingrid gets into bed, Mapi feels the heat of the brunette on her entire side, even if they keep their distance and remain rigid next to each other looking at the ceiling.

The Spanish woman can’t stop thinking about everything, absolutely everything: from what happened in Spain to her life in Norway, and how each of her decisions, each choice she made, has affected her.

-During dinner… -she pauses and takes a breath- I was thinking about my parents. I know I never talk about them and I don’t really feel comfortable doing so, but you guys are such a nice family and I felt the need to, I don’t know, see them for a moment. Talk. You guys make me feel like I’m part of it but I don’t really belong.

-You are, you belong-answers Ingrid without hesitation.

Mapi is shocked by Ingrid’s confidence and how sweet it is to hear something like that.

-But I have a family.

Ingrid looks at her and looks up again.

-They…? -clears throat-are they not nice to you?

That was a recurring thought in Ingrid, that maybe Mapi isn’t as lucky as she is with her parents. But Mapi’s snort of laughter completely disconcerts her.

-God, no, they are the best, Ingrid-Mapi shakes her head-the problem is me, okay? Has it never occurred to you that I’m the bad one in all this?

-I don’t understand why you say that…

-I’m the one who always pushed everyone away. And I still do. And I don’t know how to fix it-Mapi sighs-and I don’t know if I want to.

Ingrid weighs her words, wanting to ask the Spanish woman a thousand questions, and even though she learned that it doesn’t work that way with her, she goes with the flow.

-Can you explain it to me, please? -She turns on her side because looking at Mapi is one of her favorite things. And Mapi imitates her, with one arm under her pillow. A little uncomfortable.

-I always prioritized my career, you know? Ever since I decided I wanted to play professionally. And I knew I had to work hard to achieve it because being a female player wasn’t that easy back then. So I… did it, I focused, I made my career my life, nothing else mattered to me. Nobody else. Everybody around me had a secondary role because football took everything from me, and I thought that was fine. And that happened with my parents, I pushed them away again and again, and then I didn’t know how to fix the relationship.

Ingrid can see how much it’s costing him to open up and tell her, and she doesn’t push. She waits.

-In my childhood they were always present, always affectionate. When I entered La Masia and left them, it was as if something had been activated inside me. I started to live to play, and don’t get me wrong, I had crazy years in my teens and all that, but nothing remarkable. It was hard for me to relate, until I made friends and I pushed them away too.

-That doesn’t make you a bad person, Maria.

-You don’t even know the half of it- Mapi whispers with a deep fear of saying more and that Ingrid will see and really know who she is.

-I don’t need to know everything to realice that you’re not bad- Ingrid raises her thumb and wipes away a tear- I just know that you’ve been through a lot, it shows, and that you’re a very strong person.

-I went through things because I always chose wrong, because of my own decisions.

-I’m not sure about that, but you’re here talking about it and feeling bad, doesn’t that mean you can change something?

-There’s nothing I can change and… what if I don’t want to?

-I think you like being alone, living the way you do-says Ingrid softly, looking into those big, expectant amber eyes-but I also think that if you’re mentioning this it’s because you need to talk to your parents, fix something with them, can you try? Also with your friends, with whoever you need to do it with.

-Maybe-Mapi concedes, rubbing her cheek against Ingrid’s palm, which remained there even after wiping away her tears.

They look at each other. They look at each other a lot. But neither of them makes any extra moves and that’s enough, because anything would ruin that intimate moment.

-Thank you.

-Always. For whatever you need.

Mapi smiles with a stifled sob and shakes her head, returning to the other position of looking at the ceiling. Ingrid does the same, but their hands remain touching until one little finger seeks the other, and finally they interlace their fingers and remain like that for a long time. Ingrid sighs.

Mapi squeezes her hand gently and closes her eyes, allowing all the emotions and tiredness to fade away with a little sleep and the calm presence of Ingrid at her side.

But Ingrid is not going to sleep right away, trying to understand and questioning many things. Everything that Mapi said and what she left out. At least, on a positive note, the Spaniard is being more open, telling things that she probably wouldn’t have dreamed of telling a few months ago.

The Norwegian believes that this could mean something and the mere thought makes her chest itch, the desperate hope that there are something.

She looks at their clasped hands and lets out a sigh.

They wake up one on each side of the bed because at some point during the night their hands stopped being joined and Mapi realized that half of her body was on top of Ingrid and quickly moved away. She fell asleep after that but with the fear of repeating it.

-Good morning-murmurs Ingrid in a thick, sleepy voice, stretching.

-Good morning.

Mapi is almost out of bed and ready to start the day. She usually gets up much earlier.

-You’re not one of those who just lazes around in bed, are you? -Ingrid is already smiling mockingly.

-True.

-Never, but never?

Mapi should avoid that, pretend that Ingrid is not asking what she is clearly asking.

-Never. Especially since I must confess that you are the first woman I have shared a bed with in years.

She doesn’t even give Ingrid time to reply or stop to see her expression. She goes into the bathroom and locks herself in, hoping that there won’t be any more questions about it.

If she had turned around, she would have seen Ingrid’s confused and incredulous expression with both eyebrows raised and analyzing the information.

They meet again for breakfast and Mapi walks away a bit to check her phone and respond to Patri.

Patri doesn’t believe that it’s real that she’s going to the game, so Mapi has to assure her and also ask her to give greetings and photos for the two children.

-It’s done-she whispers in Ingrid’s ear

-I think I’ll be indebted to you for life.

-You’re exaggerating-Mapi dismisses the statement and sits next to her-if we start to thank and feel indebted every time we say something or do something for each other, this will be endless.

Ingrid snorts and picks up her coffee cup, agreeing with her.

Gudrun, Ørjan and part of the gang-as they call themselves-appear and in a moment everything becomes exquisitely loud. They talk at the same time, discussing what to do and what places to visit before the afternoon match.

-We could escape right now and they wouldn’t even notice-Ingrid whispers.

-How can we go on our own? -Mapi laughs.

-Otherwise we will never escape from them, they might even drag us to some strange museum!

-It wouldn’t be so bad.

Gudrun clears her throat and calls their attention.

-What are you two up to?

-It’s none of your business, mamma, go on with your business.

Mapi giggles at Gudrun’s distrustful expression and winks at her.

Finally they all go out together and decide to take the cruise that goes around the fjord in a couple of hours. They tell Mapi that it is an experience she must have, and neither she nor the children have done it.

The only thing Mapi can do in the face of such a display of affection and kindness is to stammer a grateful response with very red cheeks.

Ørjan leads her with an arm around her shoulders and tells her about the route and what waterproof clothing she needs if she suffers a lot from the cold and humidity.

-I think we’re hearing wedding bells-Anders coughs too loudly and too badly for it to sound real-What do you say, Ada? Should we buy new clothes?

-I’ve had my dress in the closet for a while now.

Each of her brothers stands by her side and Ingrid is unable to escape.

-Oh yeah? So this has been brewing for a while, huh?

-I believe it.

Ingrid crosses her arms with a frown.

-Gossiping about other people’s lives is already outdated.

-According to whom? And it seems I missed out on all the fun-says Anders, winking at his older sister-Momma told me all kinds of stories.

-I should have guessed-Ingrid grumbles and Ada takes her by the arm, resting her head on her shoulder.

-She’s nice, Ingrid, and I think she really likes you. You could try, you know.

Ada says it in such a soft and direct tone, as if that didn’t mean turning her life upside down.

-I may not like her myself-she evades.

-Pfff-Anders snorts and walks away with a laugh.

-Yes, I agree with him-adds Ada following her brother.

Apparently everything is very obvious to her family. Ingrid continues to grumble.

But the hours on the boat touring the fjords is an experience she will not forget. And Mapi will not either, she is sure, with her face and eyes shining like a little girl who sees something for the first time. Oscar and Frida take up most of her attention, excited by the trip and by all the football they are going to see those two days.

Mapi looks like she already belongs...no, she belongs and it’s terrifying.

What if she takes one more risk, one last time? Because it’s a little obvious that there’s something between her and Mapi that’s not just friendship. However, what can she offer the Spanish girl besides a little sex and a casual farewell when all she can think about is keeping her in her life?

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Mapi became the immediate centre of attention after a few casual words from Frida about her time playing football. And denying it was not an option.

Did you play for Barcelona? For the Spanish national team? Were you a professional?

Everyone speaks at the same time and Mapi looks from one to the other without knowing what to answer first.

Ingrid certainly notices their hesitation because she intervenes, silencing them all and saying that now is not the time. They are about to enter the stadium to enjoy the game.

-María, María-Gudrun sings-you had it well hidden but don’t think you’ll escape my interrogation.

-Oh, I know I can’t do it-Mapi concedes, giving Ingrid a sweet look. One that of course doesn’t go unnoticed by Gudrun who raises her eyebrows in her husband’s direction as if to say “I told you so.”

Everyone enters and looks for their respective seats. Ingrid and Mapi together, of course, with Gudrun pretending to be distracted as soon as they look at her.

Ingrid asks many questions and Mapi does not hesitate to tell her about the strengths of each team, the best players and tactics.

-María, I bet with Karl that you’ll support the Norwegian team today-says Anders satisfied.

-Not in your wildest dreams-she replies, opening her jacket and revealing a Spanish t-shirt.

The young man’s disappointed face and the mockery of the rest of the family help with Mapi’s anxiety about witnessing a meeting of her former classmates.

But everything turns out well. Mapi looks longingly and proudly at the girls on the grass.

-Would you like to be there on the grass?

-I don’t think so-Mapi shrugs, opting for sincerity-I mean, of course seeing the girls makes me feel uncomfortable, but I’m happy with the decision I made.

-But you retired very young, right? -Ada asks.

-Why? -Anders’s wife wants to know.

-Injuries-answers Mapi, shifting in her seat.

And when one more question is about to be asked, Ingrid intervenes again to silence them.

-I’m going to name you my knight in shining armour.

-And does the title have any benefit or is it merely honorary?

Mapi brings saliva and her breathing changes slightly.

-Ingrid…

-I know, I’m sorry-the black-haired girl immediately retracts her statement. They were no longer flirting,

They enjoy the hard-fought match, all the Engen cheer Norway on and although Mapi is clearly outnumbered, she doesn’t hesitate to whistle and shout for Spain, counting on only one ally: little Frida, who on that day has little of her usual shyness.

All of her former teammates are on the field and as a reflex, when Alexia is about to take a free kick, Mapi’s leg moves involuntarily. Her eyes fill with tears from the movement and the memory she still retains, and Ingrid’s left hand is already on her right hand, squeezing and holding.

Ingrid doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t even look at her, but she’s there.

Ingrid is there and Mapi screwed everything up by not paying attention to what they both felt, she sent her straight into the arms of another woman, now it’s too late. And yet, she maintains that it’s for the best because she’s not good at relationships.

The match ended with a thrilling 3-2 in Norway’s favour and outstanding performances from Caro and Aitana. Frida’s eyes were shining from the great spectacle she had just witnessed, as her brother will no doubt be tomorrow.

-Well, we have a surprise for you-hums Ingrid addressing the children-or rather, María has a surprise.

-Someone told me that you want to meet the players, right?

Mapi watches everyone smile, Frida jump, Oscar talk non-stop. And a security person comes up to them to allow them to enter the playing field. That really surprises Mapi who thought it would be just photos and greetings in the hallways.

Everyone gets out and Mapi doesn’t even have time to take two steps across the grass where a very excited Patri is shouting in her direction and pointing at her with her index finger.

-You! -and she doesn’t add anything else for the children but crushes Mapi with a strong hug.

At first, Mapi has trouble reacting until her fists at Patri's sides turn into gentle pats on the midfielder’s back.

-How are you, Patri?

-You’re making me cry in front of many cameras and I’m going to kill you for this-Patri sniffles and shakes her head.

-I wouldn’t expect anything less.

Then Aitana, Vicky, Claudia and Caro arrive.

When Mapi looks for Ingrid, the brunette is right next to her, with an expression that is difficult to decipher and watery eyes, not missing any of her movements.

But Mapi doesn’t want to be the centre of attention and calls the children over to meet their favourite players. They take photos and chat for a long time.

Patri doesn’t want to let her go.

-We have a flight in a few hours, but could we talk before then?

Mapi nods her head in the affirmative and takes Ingrid by the arm, gently bringing them closer.

-Patri, this is Ingrid-she points at them clumsily-Ingrid, this is Patri. The most hateful being on the planet.

-After you-Patri greets Ingrid with two kisses-so, you are the reason that keeps this thing here away from the world, huh.

-No, we…

-We are friends-Mapi clarifies.

Patri raises an eyebrow, looks from one to the other and narrows her eyes with marked scepticism.

-Of course, friends-she accepts hesitantly.

Minutes later, everyone says goodbye and some of the girls like Aitana and Vicky shed a few tears on Mapi’s shoulder. The only one who never came closer was Alexia.

Ingrid didn’t miss a single detail, much less that one, the blonde captain from afar observing the interactions but without taking a step in her direction. And weren’t they also supposed to be teammates?

Their parents are further ahead. Ada has already wet Mapi’s jacket as she thanked her profusely. The children are overjoyed,

And then Mapi’s hand stops her and doesn’t say anything, she waits for the rest to move away a little. And she hugs Ingrid.

It is a big hug full of sweetness and strength, without space, Ingrid is already intoxicated by Mapi’s smell, the warmth that her body gives off, the way she holds her, the sigh that she lets out with restraint.

There are some words that remain suspended on the tip of her tongue. They are not said because such a feeling is not possible, Ingrid convinces herself that she does not feel what she was about to say, she cannot feel it, she is not that in love, she does not love Mapi.