Chapter 16
Hermione made her way to St. Mungo's and toward Ron's room. The healers said he was in his right mind today…..I sure hope they weren't overexaggerating.
Thankfully, when she walked in the room, Ron was awake and without the crazed, psychotic look in his eyes that she had last seen on him.
"Ron…" she breathed.
Ron turned to her. He gave a small smile. "Hey….Hermione…."
She approached his bedside, then after a brief moment of silence, she bent down so that they were able to hug each other.
As she released him, she spoke in a cautious tone. "Has Harry visited you?"
Ron nodded. "He told me everything. Everything you guys have found out so far."
Hermione gave a slow nod and was silent.
Ron then gave a sigh. "About the Imperius Curse….I had no idea, honestly. When…when I was engaged in that moment with Pansy….I thought I was just acting under a subconscious, uncontrollable impulse, not under a curse."
Hermione stared at him, not knowing what to say. When another moment of silence passed, she finally spoke. "Ron….do you know why they could've cursed you? Or any idea what's going on between them and your father?"
Ron slowly shook his head. "I just know my father developed a huge wrath against all Slytherins ever since Snape and Bellatrix were found to have been alive this whole time. He's been ultra-cautious about monitoring every Slytherin to guard against any other hidden Death Eater activity."
Hermione crossed her arms. "Perhaps they just want revenge for that-- for treating them and their fellow Slytherins the way he's been treating them." She pursed her lips. "Which is understandable….but not excusable."
Ron turned to her and frowned. "Huh? Understandable? Hermione….they cursed me….to rape Pansy. You're just going to shrug that off and say it's 'understandable'?"
Hermione felt her heart wrench. "What?! Ron, I am NOT shrugging it off! I meant that it makes sense that Snape and Bellatrix would wanna do something to get back at your father for promoting discrimination against them and monitoring their every move. But by no means am I saying that it's excusable-- just because I can understand why they did what they did does NOT mean I condone it!"
Ron was shaking his head, frowning as he stared out his window. "Whatever."
Hermione stared at him, and then spoke sincerely. "Ron. Look. I'm sorry for what you had to go through. But thankfully, it's been brought to light now-- you being under the Imperius Curse when you….raped Pansy….it does change things." She quietly took a deep breath, then went on. "Can we…can we just start over? I…I still have the engagement ring hidden in my apartment…."
Ron turned to her, looking a bit hopeful. "Of course." Then he frowned. "But you'd have to promise not to be so judgmental anymore."
Hermione blinked. "What?"
Ron rolled his eyes. "You know….doing what you just did-- acting like you're some moral authority over whether one's actions are justified or not. I mean….Snape and Bellatrix cursed me to rape my best friend's girlfriend. I ended up temporarily losing my mind because of the after-effects of that curse. And then you state that it 'makes sense' that they chose to do such a thing to me, as if you have the authority to judge whether such actions are justifiable or not." He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're gonna have to stop doing that, you know. That kind of behavior is what made me take so long in proposing to you in the first place. And if you want me to propose to you again, you'd have to promise to behave better for me."
Hermione stared at the redhead, looking aghast. Her mouth was slightly open, but she was feeling too speechless. Then she closed her mouth and shifted her eyes to the ground.
When she said nothing, Ron continued to speak. "I mean it, Hermione. I don't need you pointing out what's wrong and what's right all the time, what makes sense and what doesn't, as if you're some superior to me. I deserve better from you….especially after all this crap I've been through. Otherwise, I'll take long to propose to you again."
Hermione then lifted her eyes and stared at Ron with a serious, yet saddened, look in her eyes. "You know what Ron?" Her voice was quiet. "You don’t have to take as long as before with your proposal. Because you can just drop the possibility of it ever happening."
Ron winced. "What?!"
She shifted her gaze to the ground again and turned her back on him. "I'm sorry I'm not the woman you deserve." She walked out of the room and didn’t look back.