Birthdays With A Missing Piece
January 30 1982
There was a fresh layer of white snow glistening under the sunlight on the ground, and Sirius was convinced it was Lily. “Happy birthday Red.” He said with a slight smile and his eyes watering.
“We love you Lils.”
“Harry, say happy birthday to mummy.” Sirius said in a baby voice.
“Happy bith- dae mummy.” Said an energetic 18 month old Harry. Remus and Sirius smiled at each other lovingly, just for a second then reality set in again. Harry was the only thing that brought either of them joy any more. Sirius had a full time and part time job, Remus stayed with Harry and worked odd jobs when he could, Mary was going to Uni in America starting in the fall. They were all doing the best they could. Remus set Harry down in the snow, he had a brand new snow suit, And Sirius set up their little picnic.
“Did you get started without me?” Mary shouted running up to them weaving through graves.
“We didn’t think you were coming!” Sirius shouted back.
“It’s good to see you Mary.” Remus said calmer as she approached them.
“You too. Happy Birthday Lils, I miss you.” She said solemnly. Mary brought a lily flower and put it on her grave. Sirius was debating whether to ask where she got the flower but decided against it. “Oh I brought something!” Mary remembered.
“What did you bring?” Remus asked.
“Happy birthday lils.” Mary pulled a small box out of her bag. It was a cupcake. She handed the cupcake to Sirius with a candle. He smiled as she lit the candle.
Sirius held the cupcake out to Harry who was on Remus’ lap. “Blow out the candle Harry.” Harry did that cute baby thing where they stick their tongue out. When they split the cupcake they discovered it was Lily’s favorite flavor, that made Remus start to cry. He’d been doing so good at holding it together.
March 10 1982
It was the day after a particularly rough full moon. But it was Remus’ birthday, so Sirius went to get Harry and Remus woke up around midday. “Happy birthday Moony, I know the full moon was hard and you hate your birthday but-”
“Chok- et!” Harry shouted.
“We got you chocolate.”
Remus smiled his upside down smile, “I love you.”
“Yeah you do.” Sirius said, giving Remus a little peck on the lips.
“Foggie!” Harry’s little arms shot up in the air holding the chocolate frog box, which looked huge in his hands.
“My favorite, how did you know?” Harry laughed at Remus’ sarcasm he mistook for enthusiasm. Remus smiled at the toddler then looked up at his boyfriend and mouthed ‘thank you’.
March 27
It was a sunny March day and Sirius was sitting on the bench across from his best friends’ grave, with tears filling his eyes. “Happy birthday Prongs,” He said as all the tears broke through streaming down his face. “Just a few months ago we were here for Lily, and in a few more Harry will be two…It was never supposed to be just the three of us,” He said, wiping some of his tears with his palm. “We were all supposed to take turns watching Harry and Neville while the rest of us were on missions. I mean it was never ideal but I would take that for the rest of our lives over this. I need you. Harry needs you.” Sirius held his head in his hands and continued to cry.
Hours went by and Sirius had only moved a few feet. He was sitting up against the grave, Sirius was talking to James and pretending he was sitting right there, and he was leaning on his best friend and not cold rock. He saw Remus approaching and forced a smile and waved him over.
“Have you been here all day?” Remus asked.
Maybe it was the way Remus was looking at him but he suddenly remembered all of his responsibilities. “Shit, it was my turn wasn’t it?” He asked, “I’m sorry moony”
“It’s ok I dropped Harry off with Mac. Thought you might be needing this.” Remus pulled a bottle of firewhisky out of his bag and handed it to Sirius.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” He said taking the bottle.
“Not nearly enough,” Renus said with a smile. “To Prongs?”
“To Prongs” Sirius replied tosting the their best friend. He took a big gulp and handed the bottle to Remus.
Sirius was now leaning on his boyfriend. “I don’t know why it all sunk in today, that this it’s all real and, they're gone. How are we going to do this Moony?” He asked, looking up at Remus with his puppy dog eyes.
“I don’t know Pads, I don’t know.”
“How are we going to tell Harry? We can’t just keep all of this from him.”
Remus turned to kiss Sirius’ forehead. “We'll figure it out. Together. Come on, let's get Harry and go home.” Remus said, struggling to stand up so Sirius got up to help him.
July 31th 1982
“Happy birthday Harry.” Remus said ruffleing the toddlers' hair.
“You’re two, that’s so old!” Sirius said sarcastically. Harry smiled and laughed as Sirius tickled him.
“Cake!” Harry said, shooting his arms up in the air.
Sirius looked at Remus with loving eyes and a mischievous grin. “Cake Moony!”
“Cake Moony!” Harry mimicked.
“Hmm, for you two I think I have some.”
“Cake!” Harry cheered.
“Here are your presents Harry.” Sirius said, handing the toddler a pile of gifts. Harry smiled and clapped.
“And these are from Auntie Mary.” Remus said, adding three presents to the pile. Mary had already left for college and they were going to call her after her orientation.
Halloween 82
Remus Stood in the doorway of their bedroom and asked, “Are we going to do anything this year?”
“Can we just put out a take-one-bowl?” Sirius asked from bed, he hadn’t gotten up all day.
“I thought you said those were only for lazy people who hate Halloween?” Remus asked.
“Well I don’t love it anymore. Kind of hard to.”
“How about, we dress up Harry, get a big bowl of candy and watch old videos from Lily's camera. OK?” Sirius nodded.
November 3 1982
“You don’t want to do anything this year?” Remus assumed.
“No.”
“Harry got you a present?”
“Maybe later Moons.”