Harry storms into the room looking like the personification of death.
His hair is disheveled, more than usual, and he seems to have accidentally grabbed on of sirius’ shirts. He has car keys in his hands, and he storms into the room that Sirius and Remus are in, having a chat about throwing Harry and Neville their birthday party.
He grabs the glass of fire whisky Sirius was nursing and downs it in two seconds without flinching and Sirius stares at him in shock.
“Harry!” Remus scolds shocked, concerned, and confused all at once.
“I thought you quit?” Sirius tells him, still staring at the empty glass in his hand.
“I quit smoking for ‘mione, never quit drinking,” Harry says with a huff, running his hands through his messy hair, and Remus’ eyebrows furrow in concern.
“what’s wrong,” Remus says softly, knowing that harry only tends to run his hands through his hair when he’s stressed
“a lot,” he says vaguely, and the two adults share a worried glance.
“Care to explain,” Remus says gesturing to the seat next to him, but Harry ignores it and starts to pace back and forth.
“Well, I have to go pick up Ron from muggle jail because he punched a homophobic cop in the face when he called Percy and Oliver a slur when he saw them holding hands, I went to ask Hermione if she could pick him up cause I have stuff to do but when I went to her room I heard her and pansy doing things that I’ll have nightmares about for weeks-“ he pauses inhaling and Sirius and Remus share another concerned glance. There’s more?
“- then I went to ask Ginny because she was his brother, but it turns out that she was in the middle of getting ready for a date, when I asked for his name, she said ‘her’ and then said it was Luna and I’m pretty sure my brain stopped working-“ he pauses again, already out of breathe before continuing.
“-then I walk to Blaise’s room to see if he could pick them up seeing as, y’now, he and Ron are dating, but it turns out he’s on the phone to Draco, my ex-boyfriend, who’s telling him all about how he and Theodore Nott, my other ex and also my current crush, had a lovely shag last night and I immediately left the room because I really didn’t want to hear that-“ he takes another big breathe and the two husbands stare at him in shock.
“- so, then I go back to my room and bang my head against the wall -don’t judge- and I hear three voices telling me to stop. I look over and I see Mum, Dad, and Uncle Reg all standing, well floating I guess, in the corner of my room, because apparently I’m the new master of death, and that means I can see ghosts-“ he pauses, again, to take yet another big breath in. by now Remus and Sirius are both extremely Concerned about Harry, who they’ve come to think of as their ‘son’, and his mental state.
“-and so, I just pinned that down to not sleeping in 53 hours and ignored them, before realizing that it made a lot of sense and I started banging my head against the wall again. Anyway, now they’re standing in the corner of this room looking at me like I’m dying, which I might be, and I’m about two seconds away from just locking myself in my room until I die-“ he takes another big inhale, meanwhile Remus and Sirius are screaming internally because, holy fuck, there is so much wrong with what he’s saying right now.
“- but then I remembered that I have to go get Ron and so I come down here but bump into Fred and George, who complement me on my hair saying it looks nearly as good as it did in third year, and I was even more confused and so I asked them what they meant and it turns out they both had crushes on me when I was in third year, purely because my hair made me look amazing apparently-“ he took one last big breath in.
“-so, then I just walked off, my mind no longer working, and I was halfway down the stairs when an owl flew in and dropped a letter in my hands before flying off, and I opened it to see that McGonagall wants us all back for 8th year so we can finish our education, also meaning that im going to have to see Theo again and I-“ Sirius finally cut him off, seeing as the boy was starting to hyperventilate.
“Okay calm down” he says soothingly, walking over to Harry and giving him a hug and Harry tenses for a second before he melts into it.
“You have a crush on me?” they hear a shocked voice say from the door and harry tenses up again. They look over to see Theodore Nott in the doorway, staring at harry with shock evident on his features.
Instead of being rational, Harry just runs away, leaving 1 very shocked Theodore Nott and 5 parental figures, 3 dead 2 alive, all wishing that their kid would get a break tomorrow.