Cries of deserted birds.

Sirius, 4th September 1975

The class was boring him to death, god he hoped death was better than this, it had to be.

It was potions, with Slughorn, Professor Slughorn he should call him, but Sirius never bothered with the titles lately.

He was still talking about how this year was important, which he did every year so Sirius had learned not to take him too seriously.

Sirius was sitting with Peter, which was nice since he liked peter, he was never all serious in class, also he wasn't half bad at it. He looked at the table a few rows in front of him where Remus sat with a frustrated Evans, and even though he liked Remus, he was terrible at potions, he felt bad for Evans for a change.

James had paired up with Mckinnon, which he understood, they both did fairly good at the subject. And they were also friends, which bothered Evans, so Sirius was all for their friendship.

Mary sat behind them somewhere, he saw her talking with a boy before the class had started, maybe they were coupled up? He turned around to see, and he was right, beside his friend sat a dark-haired Gryffindor, Nelson Coil. He wasn't half bad, handsome in a way, and an intellectual. Good on her, maybe she was trying to get over Prongs?

The worst part about this class was that they had potions with Slytherin, they were weasels and braggers. And with Slughorn as a teacher in this class they had bigger reasons to act as the pricks they were. He always took their side too of course.

“Now scholars, this year I´ve decided that I will be in charge of your seats,” Slughorn declared proudly clapping his two hands together which got the attention of the entire class.

“Oi, thats not fair,” James protested.

“Potter, I as–”

“Agree, we´re literally 5th year´s, arent we supposed to have some sort of privilege?” Marlene asked, her tone more irritated than curious.

“That is right Miss Mcking, bu–” Sirius had to laugh, fucking Mcking, the slug couldn't be bothered to remember anyone who weren't pureblood.

“Yeah, wheres our privilege? I assure you im mature enough to sit wherever, with whoever,” he joined them with jokes and wiggled his brows. A couple of Gryffindors laughed.

But a particular Slytherin found his voice, “Hate to agree with the airheads but this is dictatorial, why do we have to switch seats?” Crouch asked, who was in their class this year. Fucking great.

Slughorn smiled friendly, of course, he would at the Slytherin. Although their loyalty to their house was sort of admirable. “That I will answer Mr Crouch, I want you to be partnered up with someone you wouldn't usually be with, have some change in the room, don't you think?” he asked.

Crouch only grumbled in response and turned back to Meadowes, who he was sitting with. He whispered something to her which made her grimace, and step on his toe with her witchy heel. He groaned and she smiled righteously to herself.

“Great class, now that we all agree, I will call out the names,” he ruffled on his desk trying to find his sheet of parchment in the mess he had.

When he found it he smiled broadly and cleared his throat.

“Pettigrew and Mulciber,” he said first.

Peter grimaced slightly, sirius understood why, no one with half a mind would want to be paired with that brute.

“Noo, don't let that wanker take my partner,” sirius protested standing up. Peter sniggered patting him on his back before he walked to the row in front of them which was where his new seat was located.

“Mr Black if you would sit down, you're next on the list,” that grabbed his attention, he was real curious about who he had been seated with.

“Black and Evans,” the teacher said with a sneaky smile.

Sirius had to hold back a groan. Fucking great. Evans. He supposed it could have been worse, Snivellus for example. Now that would have been a nightmare. And it wasn't like she was incompetent, the girl was great at potions. If she could bump up Remus´ grade in the subjects she could do wonders. Not that he cared if he failed or not, if anything it´d be better if he was shit at school, and disappoint his parents a little more. He wasnt planning on ruining her grade but it was tempting. Very tempting.

The only problem with her was that she would make him work in the lessons, and he wouldn't be able to charm her out of it. That didn't work with Evans, even though it worked with every other person, or maybe not Remus, or Marlene, maybe not that one rude Hufflepuff he met that one time. But still, it worked with peter, even though Peter might not have the most interest in the subject in the first place. Sirius was charismatic nonetheless. And Evans would see, she sure would, he thought to himself making himself comfortable in his new seat.

“And we have Potter, and Crouch over here.”

“No way.”

“Fuck no.”

They spoke at the same time, but Slughorn remained unbothered, “There's no need for protests, the seatings will remain out the year,”

James made sure to look unhappy with the professors choice. While dragging himself across the room to his new seat. Sirius watched closely because he was not finding this to his liking. His best friend, partnering with Crouch was bad.

His brother near anything that assembled his other brother was bad. He felt protective over both but in different ways. He wanted to save Regulus from the world but wanted to save James from the people in it.

Crouch eyed James, not in a good way. He glared at him like he wanted to kill him, which he might wish to, judging by what he already knew about Crouch. When his eyes darted to Sirius, he himself made sure to stare right back at hin, not breaking eye contact. Sirius assumed that Crouch was still bitter about the incident that had occurred this summer.

“Miss Meadowes, and Miss McKing,” oh this had to be the worst one so far.

“It's Mckinnon,” she mumbled while walking to her seat. Other than looking a tad annoyed he´d say she looked fine. Not murderous like he´d expected. Which was a good sign he´d say.

“Right, Mr Coil and Sterling,” he continued on the list.

Sirius peeked quickly at Meadowes, she was wearing silver rings on her fingers, many of them unorthodox for Slytherins. Her braids were long enough to go all the way down her back, which was quite long judging by how tall she was. They were dark and neat, and on the end of each braid, there was a small silver bead, a snake bead, how creative. Sirius didnt know a lot about her, not as much as he could have if he and Regulus had a normal brotherly relationship. But he knew she was quiet, she wasn't as outgoing as Barty was, or Pandora for that matter. She kept to herself or to their little group. But the confidence she had on a broom was unmistakable, she was not shy then, not at all. Sirius had to admit, she was sharp, but he also didnt like her, because Marlene didn't and Marlene was usually right.

“Last on the list, we´ve got Mr Lupus, Mr Snape and Miss Macdonald.” Mr Lupus for fucks sake, that had to be the dumbest thing he´d heard in a while. He shot Remus a look, and Remus was already looking at him, rolling his eyes when Sirius smirked at him, both thinking the same thing.

Great, poor Remus had been paired up with Snivelus, luckily he at least had Mary. Who jumped up when she heard she was paired with him. They sat at a group table, Mary had her back to Snape which he didn't seem to mind seeing as his head was deep into his Potions book. What a nutter.

“Excellent, let us start, shall we? Open up to page 223!”

*

The lesson had lasted forever, no one had managed to make the draught right. Remus´ group had been near too, but then Mary argued with Snape over how much honey-water was supposed to be in it. In the end, they had spilt the entire thing on the desk and all three of them had earned detentions.

Mary said it was worth it to see Snape´s face while being lectured by his favourite teacher. Remus disagreed, but a small smile would show on his lips so no one believed him.

The first class with Evans hadn't been too bad. Even though it had been mostly him making jokes and her pulling faces. Maybe argued a tad too, but it wasn't anything deep. He couldn't even remember what they had argued about after the class.

They all sat down at the table together when it was dinner, though they had to eat quick to go the pitch. It was their first practice of the year. James held tryouts yesterday and only one new player had made the team this year, a second-year witch, she seemed promising, playing as a seeker. They had been in need of one after Alice graduated last year, she had also passed on the title of Captain to James.

She was great, Sirius had always admired her skill on the pitch, but what he liked the most about her was her character. A really likeable girl, with a kind heart as well as a strong head. She had always supported the team before games, if anyone were in the wrong headspace she´d know what to say or do. A true leader, and a friend. This was why Sirius knew James would excel he was just as considerate and outstanding.

“That Mulciber is getting on my nerves,” Peter complained after swallowing a spoonful of peas.

“Tell me about it, personally I think he and his little gang should´ve been expelled years ago, have ya heard bout the group of first years they cursed?” mary agreed.

Remus nodded, “Yeah, me and Dearborn caught him, Snape and Dolohov in the act on Monday, the poor kids were so fucking scared,” he mumbled. “Had to take em right to the hospital wing,”

“How did me and James almost get expelled from that prank last year, but those cunts get to run free around?” Sirius argued, righteously, because he knew he was right, not only cause he hated them, which he did for good reasons anyway. Especially Snape, running around with his huge nose in everyone's business. God his life was probably shit, but why the need to meddle in others' lives.

“That little prank you did, could´ve been real dangerous you prat, and you know it,” Evans answered, but with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

“But no one got hurt, and it wasn't in our intention for anyone to get seriously harmed,” Sirius claimed, emphasising the seriously like he always did, most of them tired of it, groaned or rolled their eyes, but James only grinned.

“Yeah, and honestly Snivellus gettin´ on my nerves that git, why´s he always around?” James rhetorically asked.

“Oh, how I wonder,” Mary muttered very low, but not low enough for them not to hear. It made Evans slightly frown towards her direction. There was some tension between the girls, Sirius could tell, they all could probably, but no one dared say anything, not wanting to make it worse.

“He's around cus he´s my friend, can't bide it how you wankers always bully him,” she snapped back at them.

That made most of them shut up, but not Sirius because he didn't get how anyone as perfect as her could protect someone as faulty as him. It was ridiculous.

“No he´s bad, and munter, don´t get why you´d be friends with him.” Sirius dared to say, only cause he couldnt stand her thinking she was right about him, about them.

She raised a brow, “Oh, so it is not bad to prance around blowing up things?”

“Yeah but that was actually proper funny, made people happy, so no, not a bad action,” he concluded with, proud of his argument.

“So you think people can only be all good or all bad?” she asked him, “You don't think there's an in-between?”

Remus chuckled, “Oi it looks like we´ve got a philosophical chat goin' on ´ere,” he nudged Marlene who was too invested in her meal to care.

Sirius rubbed his head, not this again. “Nah, why would it be, you either do the right or you're a massive knob like your charming friend.”

“C'mon Black, you can´t possibly think that all of Slytherin is bad cus they´ve been sorted into the mere house?” she questioned him, dodging the cheeky comment he´d thrown at her. If anything she looked a bit intrigued.

“Watch me,” he merely answered, feeling himself growing irritated by the topic. He threw the bag with his quidditch gear over his back and stood up from the table.

“Where you hurrying to?” Remus asked taking a big bite of his plate, as skinny as he was one would think he was the one who ate little, but the boy had the appetite of an elephant.

“To the pitch, heading early, you coming Prongs?”

“Yeah– course mate, im comin right behind ya, just go´n eat my food,” his plate still full. “You´ve not eaten?” he commented, looking at Sirius.

And Sirius hadn't even noticed, but he wasn't hungry so it didnt matter. “Yeah not hungry really, see ya– all of ya,” he waved his hand and walked down his way to the giant door at the end of the great hall.

Sirius could hear them talk after, he hoped it wasn't about him, but he felt like it was. Maybe he was too self obsessed, thinking everyone was constantly talking about him, though most of the times they were.

He hadn't acted weird, had he? Weirder than normal that was. He felt so, weirder in a way he couldn't put in words. But that didnt mean he had to act it out. Cause he didnt want the questions that followed. Perhaps he should not have walked out the moment she brought up Slytherins, that might have looked odd.

Sirius took sharp steps down the halls, smiling or nodding to the ones who greeted him along the way. He was quite known around the castle, he did know that, popular even. All of the marauders were. One could be popular in many different ways; quidditch, pranks, talents, intelligence, charisma, looks and family, and Sirius applied to all of those categories which meant his name was on everybody's lips. He knew they talked, sometimes he even overheard. One time he overheard a rumour that suggested Marlene and Remus were shagging, it had made him laugh so hard he fell off his chair, and the next morning he heard whispers in the hall that he had pinched Marlene from Remus. When the blonde had heard she had simply laughed at their stupidity, and said that none of them could have her even if they wanted to. Very true.

When he finally arrived at the locker rooms after pacing all the way there, he entered and sat down on the bench near him. The room was empty seeing as most of the students were still eating their dinner. Sirius buttoned up his white shirt, it sat loosely on his body. He opened up his bag and put on the clothes quickly so he could just get on the pitch and put his focus on that.

“Fuck,” he swore, Sirius had of course forgotten his broom back in their dorm. It was so typical of him, he´d get in a sore mood and feel all bad for himself get lost in his head and forget the one thing he was supposed to remember.

At least they had a small broom cupboard, with ones you could borrow, none of them were nearly as good as his own but it´d have to do just this once.

He grabbed a brown one, the one that looked the least damaged, they really had to upgrade their supplies here at this school.

But when he finally had it in hand, he jumped right on it, not wasting a second and he flew.

He flew high at a rate that would not have been allowed in any flying class, but there was no one around now to lecture him. Sirius felt so carefree, flying exactly how he wanted to.

The breeze that passed him smelled of freedom, with a hint of pumpkin, what, pumpkin? Oh, probably from the Pumpkin garden that grew by near. Weird how the smell reached him.

Some of his locks were playfully thrown around in the wind, all in its power and Sirius didnt even mind when it got into his face so he couldn't see. That was all a part of the fun of it.

He didn't fly gracefully on the pitch like he usually did, not even brutally like he sometimes did, no when Sirius flew like this it was entirely something else. The difference was that he flew for himself, and that had to be the greatest kind, though it was selfish, it was for him and for him only. He would fly gracefully for the applause, and brutal for the game, but freeing himself from all influences had made it easy to not hold himself back, the only influence that ruled his flying was his emotions. As sappy as it sounded it was the only logical reason for it.

Sirius flew like that for a while, he didnt know how long he stayed up in the air like that, but when he heard voices near the pitch he flew down to meet them.

“Warmin up mate?” James´ pearly smile met him.

“Yea flew a few rounds man, forgot my broom tho, had to borrow this old thing” he nodded to the broom he held in his right hand.

James chuckled, “Posh thin´ like you on that one?”

“You spend too much time with Moony,” he muttered, “Also again ur rich too you prat.”

“Yea, ´s why I have a great broom and not´ya, use ye, head pal–”

“What´chu doin ´ere?” Marlene voiced, and both boys turned their heads but it wasn't them she was talking to. No, a group of Slytherin in full gear stood on the grass with their brooms in hand.

“No fuckin way, get lost dickheads,” Sirius groaned, why were they everywhere.

“Oi, colourful language you´ve got Black, you kiss your mummy with that mouth?” Crouch said, he gave Sirius a challenging look. Was this little shit looking for trouble?

“Nah, my mums–”

And before he was able to answer Regulus interrupted, of course, he was among them. “Our captain has already talked with Madame´ Hooch, we have an agreement with her.”

“´s Gryffindor practice time now, come back in two hours,” James dismissed him, but still smiled, probably out of politeness.

“No, you jock, Regulus´ right, it is our turn, so will you and the rest move your sweet Gryffindor arses and leave the pitch empty now.” Meadowes stepped up looking down at him, and even though James was taller she managed to do so.

“My sweet Gryffindor arse will stay, and so will Potters, and Blacks, we were `ere first,” she protested squinting her eyes at the Slytherin girl, who only smiled sarcastically in return.

“I know how much you enjoy making a scene Mckinnon, but stop wasting our time will you?”

“Meadowes, ill make a scene just to spite you,”

“Girlss, let us calm down a tad yeah?” James said as calmly as he could.

Crouch, on the other hand, encouraged them, “Make us a scene Mckinnon, im in need of sum entertainment either way.”

“Sirius, Marlene, we can wait, there is no rush, the rest of the team isn't even here,” he reasoned with them ignoring the boys egging.

“Nah this bigheaded nut, can´t fuckin walk here and take it from me, from us, it was ours first, and then he–they came and says it's theirs,” Sirius argued to James, but he was looking at Crouch and thinking of Reg who stood there.

“You angry Black?” Crouch provoked.

“Nah man, im fuckin glad– get off the pitch before I hit you with this broom,” Sirius threatened holding up his broom, and for a second he actually was going to hit Crouch in the head with it. It would be a dumb thing to do. Also, Sirius wasn't violent, not really, but he had been exposed to it too much, for too long, and maybe it had affected him without even realising it.

Crouch flinched, but the broom never hit him, even though Sirius put all his strength into it, something held him back, and it wasn't his consciousness, or maybe it sort of was. James held the end of the broom back, pulling it, not letting Sirius hit him.

“Let go Prongs, ill just smack his big head, maybe he´ll get his sanity back,” he muttered darkly looking back at his friend who didnt let go. Sirius could tell he wanted to laugh at his mean joke, but he held it back, “No Padfoot, not today,” he only replied very firmly.

James was much stronger than him, and Sirius let go out of frustration, it was a losing battle anyway. “Fuckin fine.”

Prongs smiled, pleased. But so did the Slytherins, Regulus didn't, but the bleak boy never did. “We´ll meet the others in the changin´ rooms, and talk technique, alright?” he looked at Marlene to see if she was on board. She nodded reluctantly.

She started walking back without another word. He had always admired how she could control her temper, a gift he himself didnt possess, clearly.

The Slytherins made themselves comfortable, on the pitch and it irked him. “Count your days Crouch,” he said loud enough for most of them to hear.

“I count in hours Black,” he shouted across the pitch, smiling maliciously. Some of his teammates snickered.

That didnt even make sense. Count in hours, was he dense or something?

Sirius caught up to James, wanting to thank him.

“Thanks, mate,” he said holding an arm around him, mostly as support cause his arm was hurting from holding up that shit of a broomstick.

“For what?” he asked confused.

“For not letting me hit that idiot, I would have regretted that,” Sirius admitted. He noticed how James was holding both broomsticks with one arm, both his own and the one Sirius borrowed. How did he think he could even win against him in arm wrestling back in year two? Sirius had been real ambitious, that he had to admit.

James smiled affectedly, “Didn't do it for Crouch, knew you´d regret hittin him, you´re a hothead, you act first, think second.”

“Yeah I know, can't help it, did ya see his smug smile after we lost?” Sirius sighed, disliking seeing

“Oh, but we didnt?” James told, with a mischievous smirk on his face.

Sirius stopped in his tracks and grabbed James' shoulders, facing him, “what are you hidin Potter?”

“How long do you think till they catch up?” Sirius hadn't noticed but James was clenching his fist hiding something in it, and as he opened it up, he saw a green serpent in his hand. Not any serpent, it was the emerald green serpent that represented their team. It had to be, cause there was no such thing as it. The bright green colour was unmistakable and from the rumours, it was real gold. Their team would wear it with pride and flaunt it, cause they claimed every battle when a chaser wore it, they won. Which they had, so far. But they hadn't even had it for that long, Andromeda had said it was a gift from Emma Vanity the former captain.

But god. James had really stolen it. “Is that reall–”

“Yes, the real thing, took it from Crouch´s neck when he was busy provoking ye,” he laughed playing with the little thing. It was small, but meaningful to them for some reason. What was that house's obsession with snakes?

“God your exceptional James,” because he really was. It was impressive and proper cool.

“I know mate, Isn't this much better than hittin´ Crouch in the head?” the question was rhetorical but he still answered.

“Totally, I mean their team´ll go fuckin mental lookin for this little thing, should we hide it?” he held it in his hand eyeing it curiously.

“Maybe, we can see what Mckinnon thinks,” she was long gone probably in the changing room by now.

“Marlene? Why her?” he asked.

“Well, I thought we could have this be a team thing ye know? Don't think Remus and Pete would go behind this,” James explained.

“I mean Moony would probably lecture us about bein´ the bigger person, but again, he´s the man who had the idea about the squid thing last year,” he recalled the memory. How fun it had been.

“Ha I remember, Pete even made a paintin´ in honour of it being one of our best pranks yet,” he reminded him, though it was hard to forget that painting seeing as it hang above his bed.

And when they had finally reached Marlene, James was so excited he couldn't hold it in for a second. He filled her in immediately on what she had missed.

“So, you stole their most possession but they don't know it?” Marlene asked intrigued

“Well that's how we have the upper hand Mckinnon, they won't know it, till we drop the bomb on em–”

“We´ll get the victory and they can't even blame us, fuckin awesome.” Sirius continued his sentence.

“Exactly!” James beamed.

“How are you not related? I've never two as dumb and alike as you two.” Mckinnon said jokingly, she liked to act mean. But Sirius knew she wasn't, it was all her act, he´d seen her cooing a kitten before, couldn't be heartless when you did stuff like that. Also, he liked Marlenes' sense of humour, a bit mean but never stings.

“Why thanks Marlene, but actually we sort of are,” Sirius informed her.

“What, related?” she raised a brow, doubting his words.

“Yeah Sirius adopted by the Potters, in name only for now, but just see,” he said clapping Sirius on his back, and Sirius appreciated it.

“True that Prongs, but also my mothers' aunt, Dorea, married a Potter,” he waited on their reaction.

And Marlene didnt look to surprised, but James' eyes, as well as mouth, went wide.

“You never said, Sirius? What the fuck, who´d she marry?”

“Charlus, saw it on the tapestry the other day,” he explained.

“Charlus is my dads' cousins uncles fathers nephew, god that's bloody wicked, we're basically blood family,” he embraced him laughing.

“You purebloods are all just a big incestual family,” she said, smirking after James had let him go.

“Your mum's literally pureblood?”

“Aye, but from Egypt, she is the first in her family to step foot in Britain. Which means I thankfully am not related to any of you, imagine if I shared your brain,” she shuddered at the thought.

“Im smart Mckinnon,” Sirius said very assuredly almost to convince himself. “Nah, I am, just like to play dumb.”

“Don't get too comfy in the role, before ye know it ye will be dense by default, happened to me cousin.”

“But it's not li—”

“On to more important business, the serpent, where will we hide it?” James interrupted the discussion. Very invested in this little prank.

“Can't wait to see how frustrated Meadowes´ll be. but let's figure out that later, keep it tight on ye for now,” Marlene smiled while saying so.

“Course, the others are in the stands, but keep quiet ´bout this yeah? I'll wait here for the rest of the team, informing em trainin´s delayed”

“Aye Potter, you coming Black?” he wanted to tell her to stop calling him by his last name , only because it didn't feel like his. But Sirius decided not to say anything.

“Yeah Mckinnon.” and just like that, they walked up to the stands where Remus, Evans, Peter, Mary and oh, also Dirk Creswell sat.

“Why is Slytherin on the pitch and not you lot, thought you had practice now?” Peter asked immediately, with a puzzled look found on his face.

“Yeah well the shitheads were stubborn, little Reggie claimed they had a deal with Hooch or whatever,” Sirius explained to him.

“Course they did,” he scowled at them playfully.

“Ah and who do we have here?” Marlene leaned towards the boy who looked surprisingly shy, surprisingly only cause he was with Mary, and shy had never been her type.

“This is Dirk, my new friend,” mary introduced him to her. She pronounced the word friend quirky enough for them to not believe a word of it.

Evans scoffed but didn't say anything, she just continued to look at the players on the pitch like she was interested. Which was fucking bullocks cause the girl had as much interest in Quidditch as he had in schoolwork.

Mary peeked at her, and she looked well, a bit sad maybe. She probably was, fighting with her best friend and all.

While most people would sit out here to talk or to watch the game, Remus didnt do so. No Remus was doing homework here.

“Do you ever catch a break moony?”

He lifted his gaze meeting Sirius' blue eyes.

“Can't do, how else am I supposed to be best?”he answered him with a question, very typical of him.

“You don't need to be best,” he merely said. Remus was already best.

“When I am what I am I sort of do mate.”

And it stung him. Remus shouldn't have to feel like that. He was a boy, he had been a little boy being bitten by a werewolf because of the actions of adults. Had to live with the consequences, and even though the marauders had tried to make it a little easier on him, he still faced difficulties. Remus worked ten times more than everybody else on top of always being tired, it was unfair. Especially since he felt inferior to everybody else, it was bullocks, and it's so hard to convince someone they are significant when everything they believe in goes against it.

“Doesn't define your capabilities,” he shrugged.

“Defines what others think of me, can't let a beast in your home innit. If you don't already got one?” he answered harshly.

When Remus disagreed with something or was annoyed he´d usually bite his tongue and stay quiet. Remus was rarely mean, so when he was, Sirius was more concerned than hurt.

Remus must have noticed Sirius frown. “Sorry mate didn't mean to be cruel, sit down here” he patted the wooden bench. Sirius had been caught up in it and forgot to sit down.

“´s alright, I get it,” he nodded, and watched around him to see if anyone was listening in, but the others were lost in the chats. “Moon´s tomorrow night, ´s understandable,”

Remus looked down, pursing his lips.

“Not you Moony, I mean the other Moon, the one in the sky,” he joked trying to keep the conversation lightheaded, he shouldnt have brung up the moon.

It worked in a way, Remus´ brows rose up, his expression changing slightly, though it would be hard to tell for someone who didnt know him, cause Moony wasn't very expressional. But his friends could tell, especially Sirius. And he prided himself in being able to do so.

“Course cus im a moon right?” he challenged.

“Well yeah, and im a star, makes sense doesn't it?”

He scoffed, “Sure Sirius.” The wind was strong today and the book remus´ held blew out of his hands, but Sirius' quick reflexes were useful for once and he jumped right up. He leapt towards it as it nearly flew away from him. Sirius reached for it, but while doing so he tripped over a loose plank, and he almost fell over the fence.

If someone asked about it later, Sirius would deny it, but he might have shrieked a bit. Who wouldn't, he almost fell many meters down on a grass field. “FUCKING HELL,” he screamed out thinking he was going to die. He must have got the attention of some of the Slytherins playing, their heads turning.

He closed his eyes just waiting to fall and embarrass himself in front of them all. Why was he so fine with hurting himself but not with making a fool of himself?

An arm grabbed him, a strong arm. And without turning around he knew. He smelled his scent because he did have one. He smelled of old books, but never in the bad way and of cigarettes, also of chocolate, dark chocolate, the kind you´d never forget, cause it tasted like nothing else.

“God Sirius, you could have dropped dead, that was so stupid, all over a fucking book–,” he shouted, except moony didnt shout, but he did shout now, directly at him. He looked angry, furious if you will. His brows furrowed together, his eyes wide, he didn't look like Remus.

Sirius didnt make a sound, he kept quiet, even when he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. He wasn't sure it if was because he was shocked by the near-death experience, or because Remus was shouting at him. He felt his cheeks burn, and all he could do was stare at him. His words were all gone, and he couldn't hear what Remus was saying, he saw him. His mouth moving, his face expressing his anger. His brain was too loud, it would be impossible to hear anything, and his heart was aching for him to let go and just cry.

Out of nowhere, he saw Remus' eyes soften, they went from anger to kindness, just like that. And his mouth was moving again, but he wasnt shouting. “Sirius– Sirius you alright?” he didnt touch him, he´d let go ages ago, but Sirius wished Remus did. Even if he held him in rage, Sirius didnt think he would mind that. Was that a strange thought?

“Im great moony, yeah im fine, see didn't die yeah?” he tried his best at smiling, all teeth, the smile he´d been complimented on so many times before. Only if it had been genuine, the compliments might have meant something.

Remus didnt believe him, “Sorry i shouted at you Sirius, fuck i got a lot to be sorry bout today, that was very reckless tho,” remus did look rather worried he´d say, that had to be sort of good, which meant he cared right?

“You're allowed to be angry mate,” he mumbled, collecting himself together.

Remus paused and looked at him with a thoughtful expression, his mind somewhere else. “All over a charms book?” he said rather than expressing what he had on his mind because Sirius knew it was something else. Why didnt he share with him? Was there something wrong?

But he decided not to dig deeper into that, “Charms your favourite subjects innit.” They talked normally, but there was a big invisible cloud above them, hovering, a cloud of oddity.

“Right, but your life's more important than a book ye know?” it wasnt a question but at the same time, it felt like one, the expression on moonys face told him that.

“Course, Im Sirius Black, a book got nothing on me,” he joked instead, Remus rolled his eyes but his eyes darted behind Sirius, at someone.

Sirius turned around to see what had caught his friends' attention.

His brother, the seeker of Slytherin. He sat on his fancy broom, looking at Sirius.

No expression, of course, cause any sign of feelings would mean weakness, something someone could use against him. The paranoia was probably rooted in some childhood issues. Wow, they were really a sad bunch.

“Saw you almost fell, what happened?” he asked dryly, without any depth to his voice. How were they even related?

“Didnt die, sorry you gotta wait a couple more years when the fags get me till your finally heir Reggie,” he said very seriously.

He rolled his eyes. “Be vicious if you want but im still your brother, and I do get concerned,” he informed him as if it was important for him to tell him. His eyes were very blue, dark blue, not like his icey ones, not like Walburgas cold ones, but he could tell that Regulus tried to mimic hers. But he didnt nail it, not really, he doubted Regulys ever could.

“Not bein´ vicious, jus proper honest, you don't care, and I don't either, jus go back to ur Slytherin mates, will ya?” he criticised, almost forgetting Remus and their friends' presence.

Remus opened his mouth for a second, almost interfering, but he closed it knowing better than to do so. Regulus and Sirius's relationship was complicated but it was theirs, and that was something he appreciated with it.

“I will,” he said but his eyes were on Remus, staring him down as if he saw him as competition. “Your right, this summer taught me as much,” he said when his gaze returned to Sirius.

Sirius was a bad brother, he knew that, there was no lying or denying it, he was shit at it. He might have been better when he was younger, but it was harder now. And Sirius was very bad at trying, every time he tried he failed.

“You´re a shit brother anyway, ´ll do better without ye,” he said instead, blaming Regulus. Because well, it was easier to do than to admit that you are the problem. Which he was.

“Correct, im the bad one,” he said in an exaggerated tone, “don't die just yet will you, our parents need you for Christmas,” Regulus said just as cruelly as Sirius had. But they were used to this, to being this.

“Your parents, you´ve got Orion wit and Walburgas tongue, great combo,” it was a bad and mean joke that only the two of them would get.

“Least I don´t go around threatening to beat ur friends with a broom,” was all he said before he flew graciously back down to his teammates, not letting Sirius have the last word.

And Remus chuckled a bit, “really?”

Sirius nodded shamefully, and Remus laughed even louder, his laughter was contagious and Sirius could feel himself smiling without meaning to. “´s Crouch, so it doesn't even count.”

And to that, Moony surprisingly nodded, but a tad sceptically. What was Remus without his scepticism?

He turned to see why the others were so quiet, it was unlike them, especially Mary.
But where they had sat were empty seats, all except Remus who stood there with his hands crossed.

“Where did the others go?” he asked him.

Remus let out a small chuckle, “Are you bein´ real? They all went back down before you even got the chance to sit down, how did ye not notice?”

Truth was that he didnt notice, it was hard to when he talked to Moony, he forgot and everything went blurry when he had him in front of him. Talking like a genius but with the humour of a comic. It must be because he was so interesting, most people probably felt the same when with Remus.

He shrugged, “Was busy seein´ for my mates' wellbeing, weird bloke, does homework in the quidditch stadiums, ever heard of him?”

Remus smiled at him, and he had a nice smile, it was genuine, small but real, and that meant more than most things did to Sirius. “Piss off you prick, les´ jus´ go down yeah? To the others.”

And Sirius didnt have any protest to that, so they did. Why stay together in the quidditch stands, there was no reason to, at least Sirius couldn't find one.

And while they walked down there, they joked and laughed. And the long day seemed to have a nice ending.

Remus told him about this man that would come regularly to the shop he worked in, and he would order the most disgusting drink he´d ever heard of, fucking Licorice tea. Whatever that was, he was glad he´d never heard of it. Must be a real nightmare to make too. Poor Remus.

And it was nice, just talking with him. Being around him.

His presence was gentle and secure, also peaceful, yeah definitely peaceful. If peace was a person, it´d be Remus Lupin, Sirius believed that wholeheartedly.

Remus' eyes glistened while talking, and though it was often Remus who would listen and Sirius who would talk, he sort of enjoyed listening for once. Maybe it was because Moony was talking, but either way, he liked soaking in every piece of new information he learned about moony.

Especially when he would tell so little about himself, he felt it was important to remember all. He wasn't like the others spilling every detail about his day to the others, complaining about an annoying encounter, or talking about his favourite whatever.

Sometimes Sirius had to haul the information out of him. And when Remus would tell him something no one knew he felt special, like it was something that was especially for him.

Sirius eyed his neck while talking, not in a weird way. Only because he had a new scar. The black-haired boy knew of all his visible scars, he knew where they were and if he´d known him long enough when they had happened. The ones he couldn't see he´d only wonder about, not ever really seeing them as they were hidden behind thick jumpers.

The new scar was colourful, and it looked painful, it hadn't been healed properly. Sirius eyes must have stayed there too long cause Remus had gone quiet

“What happened this summer?” the tall boy asked bluntly, not afraid of walking on glass around him. He just asked. And well, Sirius preferred that over the awkward silence.

“What happened to ur neck?” he responded with a question.

“I´ll answer if ye do,” he compromised and Sirius nodded, 'cause he did want to tell Remus.

Although one would think if he wanted to talk about it, it´d be with James, it wasn't like that. Sirius and Remus could understand each other, especially on things like this. It was easier to tell Remus because he never felt bad for him or pitied him. Not like James did, even though it wasn't purposely, he still did. Remus however could understand, and he helped him through it or just carried it with him, so he didnt have to do so alone. And that was more than enough for Sirius.

He found it humorous, how the two of them, could share a bond like that, very different yet so alike. And it made him glad that it could be him for Remus. No matter what they disagreed on, they could go back to each other. There was no sense of brotherhood between them, it wasn't like when he was with James or with Peter. But the fact they had each other felt just as good.

Sirius took a deep breath. Even though he wanted to tell him, it wasn't easy cause he was prideful, more than most anyway. But Remus looked at him with the such understanding he couldn't deny him the answer now.

“Have you ever heard of the cruciatus curse?”