Cries of deserted birds.

Summer 1975

Sirius

He was locked inside his room and it was dark outside, he assumed it was night, not like he could know for sure. Sirius heard voices from down below. Did his parents have guests over? That might be the reason why his mother had decided that Sirius wasn´t allowed at the age of almost 16 outside of his bedroom. Was Regulus allowed? He probably was the little git. Sirius lay down on the huge but uncomfortable bed that stood tall in the middle of his empty room. Every time he came back from Hogwarts all of his previous beloved items were thrown away by his mother dearest. It had been like that ever since he started his adventure at the beloved school in the Scottish highlands. He could describe it as a cold war between him and her. Sirius collected and filled his childhood room with the stupidest bits and bops he knew his mother couldn't stand. Walburga would get rid of it like it was gum under her shoe, anything not of value to her wouldn't be of value to any of them. What she wanted, she would get.

He knew what to expect when he returned home, but still, Sirius couldn't bear the emptiness and quietness of this house. It was nothing like his home at Hogwarts. Sometimes he tried to imagine his mates beside him, hearing James crack a joke about whatever, Pete winning gloriously over him for the fiftieth time in chess, moony conversing sarcastically and hearing his rare laugh.

If anyone knew. He squirmed in his bed thinking about it. The bold and tough Sirius Black is really just a troubled wimp.

The coldness outside the room hit him in the face, when the door opened somewhat quickly, he stood up from the mattress trying to make out who the shadow in the doorway was.

He didn't need to. The person spoke with a familiar and devoted voice.

“Sirius”

Regulus had come to him. He had barely seen him this summer, an entire month had gone by since they both arrived back in London together and again parted ways when they came to Grimmauld Place. Not one word had been exchanged since. It broke a part of him seeing his brother so distant. Why was he here now? Why today and not yesterday? Seeing as Sirius was not a rational person, the most ridiculous theories popped up in his head.

“Did she send you?”

“No”

“So you just decided to come to say hi?”

Sirius couldn't see all that well in the dark but he knew his little brother was rolling his eyes. He knew.

“No”

“Was it something then? or were you just planning to stand there like a creep”

Regulus closes the wooden door quietly to not attract attention to any of the residents in the house and turned on the lights with a little flick of his hand. A mean fuck he was, but there's no denying that the little shites a brilliant at magic.

Seeing his face for the first time in a week, he saw the impact the “summer situation” as Sirius liked to call it had on him. He looked paler, (if possible) and thinner. It was disturbing and sad.

Regulus stood there as awkward as ever with a slight frown on his face. Not noticeable to anyone else. But Sirius could tell that this wasn't his regular cold expression. No, if anything Sirius would go as far as saying he could see a hint of suspicion in his look. “You can´t continue like this”

Sirius glares at him. Of course, Sirius himself knew what his brother was talking about. He tries to answer as unbothered as he can. “Continue what exactly Reg?” Sirius heard a little crack in his voice and hoped Regulus didn´t notice.

“You know.” he continued with his cold tone. Regulus´ hollow eyes followed the elder Black's every motion. Sirius knew that his brother was trying to get eye contact with him, but he couldn't. Because he also knew that as soon as Sirius would get in contact with him he would break down, and be the emotional wreck he had spent all his energy and time on suppressing the last week. Being back was always heavy, but this summer went beyond that.

With a sharp breath, his voice slightly hitched as he leaned against his hard pillow. He wanted to be in control of the situation and with that, he couldn't give the power to Reg, or her. Sirius gave regulus an intentionally forced and stiff smile, as he shrugged. He wanted his brother to say it, he wanted him to acknowledge it.

Regulus realised quickly what it was Sirius was after and rolled his eyes once again, but almost shamefully. He takes a step away from the door. “You are pushing her patience Sirius” he takes a deep breath before continuing “Just because you are the incredible Sirius Black, you can´t play invincible”

This grabs his attention “Is that what you think I'm trying? this isn´t a game Reg” He finally meets his brother's eye.

“Have you never thought of it? Actually, all of it? Their entire scheme? All this hatred and “discipline” to meet standards you will never reach” Sirius finds himself getting riled up. He stands up from the bed and steps towards his brother. “Reg, this isn´t normal, what they do, what they are willing to do.” he tries to reach his brother with his words. It might not be too late for him. He can open still open his eyes.

The younger boy had been a very sensitive child, he was smart and clever but very quiet and didn't talk, they thought Regulus was voiceless for a long while. Walburga and Orion had of course seen this as a major flaw in their son and Regulus had been dragged to the darkest corners of wizarding London to find cures against this disability of his. Sirius hated how awful he looked after every “appointment” he looked worse than death herself. As the potions and magic didn't work, they came to the conclusion that the only way to get him to speak was to torture the words out of him, needless to say, it didn't work In the end, what had finally made little Reggie speak was one particular night when Sirius was 8 and Regulus 6, and Walburga was punishing Sirius for talking to a muggle boy at Finsbury square. She had berated him for hours till she decided he needed a physical memory to get the message engraved into his head. That's how the fucked up logic of Walburga Black worked.

Regulus had stuttered the simple but powerful word “stop”. First and last time his brother would defend him against her cruelty anyway.

Sirius knew he wasn't the only one that had been fucked up by their parents' shitty parenting. Regulus had also had his fair share of shit.

Regulus gives him a distressed look, and he flinches when Sirius tries to reach his shoulder. Fucking Walburga. He eases only for a second. And it is as if they are kids again.

They used to share so much. Sirius used to understand Regulus and Vice versa.

As something clicks in his head he drops the despair in his look and straightens up. Because Regulus Black isn't vulnerable, not anymore at least.

He backs away and forces his gaze into another direction.

He chuckles, a bit mockingly and stares at whatever is behind Sirius “Don´t be ridiculous Sirius.”

The tone and the words too familiar to him, he can't help but say “You sound like her” Sirius talks before he thinks, a flaw he is particularly known for.

Regulus glares at him but again, no reaction. “Would it kill you to listen to her, to try harder? Just pretend a little, Sirius. Be a bit better.” he articulates reasonably, he hesitates before resuming “Listen, do not think she will go easy on you because you are her son”

As if he could ever think of Walburga as a lady with mercy, his mother doesn't know of love for anyone but herself. “Oh I know Reg, but I'm no actor. I can't pretend.” As you do, he wants to add, but Sirius isn't cruel.

“Fuck it let's say I'm a star actor, I'll go around preaching blood superiority during summer, and then what, I go back to Hogwarts to my half-blood and muggle-born friends. It's wrong Regulus, and also completely fucked up” he throws his arms in frustration and searches Reg's face for any sign of understanding.

Regulus looks at him quizzically, almost like he is trying to figure out a puzzle. He clenches his jaw. “It is.. messed up” Reg admits dragging out the words. “But this is family Sirius, this goes beyond all. It's blood, not pure or muggle, just blood. You can't run away from this”

Andy did, Sirius thinks.

His remarkable cousin Andromeda. He had always adored his cousin, she like him also had a certain draw to the muggle world, in their music, inventions, and generally them as people. They could talk and talk for hours about it. Her being in Slytherin had made her slightly the better Black out of the two, even though she not unlike him, had an obsession with the muggle world, well all until Ted tonks came into the picture. She got herself thrown away when they found out she was pregnant with his child and refused to get rid of it. They had an unusual girl that they named an even more unusual name, Nymphadora, that's even worse than Andromeda. Of course, his supportive aunt and uncle disowned her shortly after. They never talk about her, it's almost like there never was an Andromeda Black in their family. Bloody purebloods. Sirius misses her, he sends her letters when he is at Hogwarts but now it is impossible to get anything out of this place including himself, worse than Azkaban for fucks sake.

He felt his brother's eyes on him, were they both thinking the same thing? Were they both thinking of Andy and her unfortunate fate? Blood is only thicker than water if the water you thread in is pure. Ironically enough.

“Yeah, how very noble of you”

“Easy for you to say, hanging around people like Crouch and Rosier.” Sirius has never liked Regulus' friends. Bloody problematic tossers. He supposes Regulus could have chosen worse friends, like Mulciber or Snape but in the end their all the same.

The air in the rooms changes. “Piss off, and I reckon Potters a saint?” he has a mocking tone to his voice and sneers slightly. “I am your brother, not that arrogant knob” he mutters the last part but Sirius hears him. How hilarious of him to compare himself to James.

But of course, he is too sly and too much of a coward to defend his friends, no instead he will criticise Sirius´. Because that's his only way, that's her way and it's this entire purity society. Attack always, there was never any defending with them. And his so-called brother was just like them.

Even though Regulus had grown a couple of centimetres taller than him, Sirius stepped forward and looked down at him. He glared at him “Bloody hell Regulus, you´re- ” he heard a creaking sound from outside of his room, but he felt too provoked by reguluses insults towards his best mate, as if it had been himself.

“You´re no one Reg” he continues as he sees his brothers' eyebrows furrow slightly.

“He is more of a brother to me than you could ever be, where James tries, you fail every fucking time.” Sirius aims to hurt, but why is he the one hurting when the words spill out of his mouth?

How did they get there? Was it back when Sirius got himself sorted into the house of Gryffindor, or was it when he decided that the marauders cared more than his family ever could?

Reguluses face goes white. Sirius can´t make out if it's because of the witch standing in the entrance or if it is his words. But wow, how he wishes he could have been anywhere else right now.

Walburga smiles harshly. She always does. Sirius has never seen warmth from her, almost as if it's something she cannot give. As if it's something not in her system. The coldness Regulus has inherited, and the coldness Sirius constantly tries to avoid. Her smile was a warning. A warning that shit was about to go down.

Her ice-blue eyes moved firstly from Sirius and then to Regulus. Sirius can tell that his baby brother is trying to hide the panic on his face from their mother, but as always Sirius could tell. His first instinct is to protect him, protect Regulus as if they are 7 and 9 again. All of Sirius's anger went through the door when she arrived.

“Regulus. What are you doing in here?” she asks her cold eyes staring dead at him. Walburga asks patiently but there's an edge to her tone. “You know very well that Sirius is supposed to stay here alone till he finds our family values more important than foolish and imprudent behaviour, is that not right Sirius?” She now speaks directly to him, he doesn't bother to give her a response and continues to glare at her.

She puts her hand on his shoulder, he hates it there. He wants to pull his wand up and hex the thin white arm off her shoulder. Regulus is still standing there quiet and putting on a mask, acting as if he is not scared shitless.. Trust Walburga Black to be the only person managing his brother to drop his sarcastic ways. How he wishes James was here right now. Her eyes fixed on his and her eyebrows raised. He realises somewhat quickly what she is doing. Legilimency.

Sirius wasn't unfamiliar with this dark art, no Walburga had used this to control her sons' minds from a young age, and warped them to her liking. Everything they knew and felt, she knew and felt. And it was painful. Never having anything for yourself growing up, even your silly mind you do not own.

He feels her power inside his head, almost like there are hands in there searching for something, anything to go after. This had become a routine. Sirius had learned how to shield his most private and intimate thoughts and feelings, thoughts that go back to Hogwarts. He knew how to give his mother what she was after, and feed her false truths. Truths she could accept. But Sirius didn't want to do that. He wanted to be brave and to provoke the bitch. He wanted to distract her from his brother. He brings up pictures in his head, pictures and memories of him snogging muggle-born girls, of him defending anyone but purebloods, of him and James being silly teenagers cursing Slytherins. When Walburga discovered what it was she was seeing and hearing she roared in anger. Her eyes were so very dark and so so angry. If looks could curse, Walburga would be able to burn the world down right now. Sirius chuckled as an automated reaction. He couldn't help it, he finally felt something.

“Regulus, leave this room and close the door after you.” She commanded at him

He stood there hesitating slightly, “But Mother–” he tried, realising what she was intending to do to his older brother. “I told you to leave, if you do not wish to join him that is?” she asked meanly, tilting her head slightly.

His younger brother looked him in the eyes gloomily, he didnt know what to do. What was right, what was wrong? His face scrunched up slightly, grimacing like he was the one hurting. Like he was the one on the other end of her wand.

He looked torn, like this was a hard decision for him to make, while in reality, he knew the truth. As did Sirius and Walburga, because they had seen this before and so had the walls. While Regulus could pretend to be brave and good, he was nothing like it. He was just a boy good at pretending and following orders. He would never dare to stand up, not when he knew that he could suffer from it. That's the way he was, he was selfish in that way, really just in every way he was, selfish that is.

Regulus stepped away from the crime scene. Well of course the snake did. At least he had the decency to look sad while doing so. Like it hurt him to leave his brother to their mother's wrath.

“Crucio” the word left her mouth as if it was nothing but a word. Sirius was sure he had heard it. She stood there in front of him, wand in hand and with a cruel smirk on her face. A sharp pain hit him right there. He felt his entire soul leave him in a second and he felt nothing but pain. It was agony like he knew he had felt before but had forgotten.

The joy he had felt when Regulus stepped into the room had left him and he felt nothing but his body screaming. He crashed to the floor in agony and he could feel wet warm tears streaming down his hollow cheeks.

The reality of the situation hit him painfully, no one was saving him.

He was alone.

There wasn't a James, or a Remus, not even a Peter here.

He was alone.

Even though Regulus had just, just a moment ago stood right there. With him.

He was alone.

Though his own mother was there, there wasn't really anyone in the room with him.

Sirius suffered alone, and even though the pain from the unforgivable curse was unbearing the realisation hit him harder. He never wanted to be alone again. He couldn't be like this again. James' words had helped him, but what is a silly teenager to a curse from his mother?

“Sirius, you know I do this for your best interest. Mudbloods and idiotic friends aren't the way.” She speaks in a falsely sympathetic tone

“It won't fill the emptiness that I know you bear, my son. You have a duty, to be the heir of our ancient and noble house. You must make us proud, be great” he feels warm for a second when he hears her calling him her son, he knows he's not supposed to but in this weak moment, he lets himself.

“C'est ton devoir et ton but dans la vie mon garçon.” she speaks the french words mockingly and Sirius still holds his breath, glaring at his mother with tears in his eyes. He had always hated the language, it was so ugly.

“No point in the dramatics, toujours pur Sirius.”

*

They were all there. His cousins, the Malfoys, the Carrows, the Notts, the Rosiers, every respectable pureblood family. It made him feel angsty. He felt so distant from the people at the gathering. After the event that took place in his bedroom a week ago. It had shaken him so badly. His mother had hurt him before but not like this. This was too personal. Sirius had lost all his will to resist and defy. He was so alone and tired. The ballroom was dark with grand lights to light up the room a tad, but it still felt dark in there. He was certain he was the only Gryffindor in the room, it was all dark wizards and witches.

As Regulus stood with Rosier and Crouch and talked about whatever the dumb tossers had in common he felt a blade to his heart. He missed them so incredibly. Fucking hell. Their lack of presence in the last weeks was very visible.

He was wearing heavy wizard robes of the highest quality. They were wizard made for him as his mother had gotten the tailor in the day before. Sirius never felt quite comfortable in wizarding clothing they never felt like him. When he was home he was never allowed to wear muggle clothing. He missed the shirts Andy always sent, he missed his jeans that fit loosely around his waist but perfectly around his arse, and oh, how much he missed the quidditch gear, the protective feeling and memories of it.

Regulus stood there with a willing smile on his mug, he greeted guests. And pretended. How very exemplary of him. The very thought had bothered him for weeks: If Regulus could why couldn't he?

Almost as if it was a competition to him. The contest of the better Black.

Why was it a competition to him? He didn't care, he really didn't. But was it more of a competition of who was more worthy of their parents' devotion? He had given it a lot of thought, he had tried to avoid the thoughts of course, but he failed miserably. Seeing as he had nothing there to distract him from what he believed to be his biggest fear; himself. Rather more, his mind to be exact, his brain that never seemed to give him a break these days.

At Hogwarts, he had a lot of distractions, his friends, girls, mischief and booze. God how he craved it. The feeling of being unbeatable. Being above it all. Not like it had been good the last time, but anything would do in his current state. Thankfully purebloods weren't that stuck-up, and they served alcoholic drinks at gatherings. Which was why he was now drowning himself in it. He hadn't had it since his last night at school, but the familiarity of it was wonderful, especially now.

He was deep in thought when a girl interrupted him.

“This party is dreadful” a sweet and delicate voice clanged in his ear. He turned to his side and beside him; an extraordinary girl. He knew her, how couldn't he? With her light hair and her sly eyes, she was sticking out in the crowd of people. Her presence was intimidating even tho Sirius stood both taller and older.

Rosier, Pandora rosier that is stood there looking at him, she was smiling, which was fucking weird because she had just insulted a party his family hosted.

She was one of Regulus's friends, he knew that. But he had preferred her over the rest of his little group actually. Well, she was a Ravenclaw, which automatically made her better than the rest. Also, Pandora was quite clever, more interested in the elixirs and the artistic of their society rather than the material and things like class. He had heard his parents talk about her, apparently, she was a handful, which was never something good to purebloods. Don't know why she would be friends with Regulus.

“Terribly” he answered without thinking.

“You are Regulus' brother,” she noted.

“Really? aw gawd I have a brother?” he answered, sarcastically obviously.

She giggled, but only a tad “I know you both like to pretend to have this “love-hate” thing in between you, but you´re more alike than you think y´know?”

“No pretending Rosier, it's pure and conditional” he empathised on the pure.

“Mhm, whatever you say” she mumbled to herself, she played with the hem of her dress, waving it around. She was wearing a white dress, with a lot of tull she looked like a swan. Unlike the rest of the people here, the brown did not wash her out, it rather empathised with the beautiful shade of her skin.

“You don't like these affairs either then?” he found himself saying to her, was he really doing small talk with her out of all?

“No, they reak of nervous energy, can't you tell?” she asked him, curiosity shining in her eyes.

He “Not really no”

“It all the people, they all come here to impress, or to show off, to boast, whatever they want it's selfish”

Sirius understood what she meant, she was speaking the truth like she didnt know anything else. “Bloody right you are, it's unnerving” he was slipping out of his past state and relaxed a little around her.

She smiled as if his agreement was gold to her.

Pandora leaned in, “Sirius, I get how you're feeling” she whispered as if they were telling secrets to one another.

“Cus I feel the same, and I can see it in you” she was speaking in codes but he knew what she meant.

“Is it visible now?” he tugged at the end of his trousers afraid something was in view.

“It's in your eyes, and I simply want you to fight” she continued.

“`s if you know anything,” he felt aggravated, who the hell was she to tell him how to be?

He pushed the pair of them away from people's gazes because the conversation was at a turning point and he wasn't in the mood for this to be in the public eye. Because he didnt want rumours or scandals, especially not ones involving him.

“I know that you don't want this life, and I know that he doesn't either”

“Impossible, Prince Regulus Arcturus Black thrives in this” he mocked

Pandora was still smiling but her eyes were less kind.

“He just fights differently” she spoke calmly.

Sirius did want to believe, he had always wanted to. But lately, he had just been disappointed and felt disconnected from him. And really what were his friend's words compared to Regulus' own actions?

But, he didnt wants to fight with her. He didnt feel like arguing. He was really tired of it. So he bit his tongue and nodded. “He might be” “You see Rosier—”

“It's Pandora” she interrupted. There was such a familiarity to it.

“Alright, Pandora. I ´on't know what Reggie has told you but it's fine” he smiled falsely. But her words sort of stuck with him. He fights differently, never seen him fight. And even if it's true it must be a silent war, a long one. An invisible fight possibly. Fitting, Sirius thought in all his bitterness even though he know he shouldn't be.

She tilted her head scanning his face with her eyes, as if she was searching for something, or perhaps anything that spoke the truth because she knew his words didnt.

“If you say so, Sirius.” She accepted that he didn´t want to talk about this, “just don't give up, promise me that. I've seen you in school I know you don't give up easily,” she spoke so determinedly and with fire in her, he felt bad for her. Because well honestly she was in the same situation as him, and as regulus, some more fit to their roles but still all the same.

And well, perhaps it wasn't him. Maybe he wasn't bad. Maybe it would break him in the process, but maybe it was what Sirius needed, what she needed, and what he needed.

He knew that his mind was walking down a dangerous path, he knew Pandora knew too. The Rosiers, though milder than the Blacks were still an important family. Sacrificing what they had now to have the opportunity of something greater seemed reachable.

Pandora Rosier was an interesting girl, she didnt need Occlumency, or other magical abilities to be magical. She used her very human senses to do things great wizards and witches can not. Incredible it was.

“Promise Pandora, pinky?” he swore genuinely and stuck up a smile pinky finger out. Her warm smile reminded him of Andromedas, and he understood why Regulus liked her.

“Pinky” she repeated and twined her finger into his.

“Sirius Black!” A voice was calling for him from inside the ballroom. He groaned.

“Fucking hell— IM COMING!” he shouted back at the unfamiliar voice. “Nice meeting you Pandora, greet mum and dad for me will ya”

She snorted at that. “Pleasures mine and yeah, Course”

He was on his way out of the dark corridor when pandora spoke.

“Oh, and Sirius, he treasures you. though it might not seem like it” she added quickly as if the words were running out of her throat.

He had heard her, she wasn't whispering, of course, he had heard. Sirius just didnt know how to react to it. “Right” was all he managed, he nodded almost professionally at her. It felt dumb, and all grown up to do so, and he regretted it immediately.

The raven-haired Gryffindor walked out of the small room as if he hadn't just experienced the whirlwind of Pandora Rosier. Which was a headcase, because the girl had made him debate his entirety.

Immediately when he was back in the ballroom he discovered the reason for the voice. Which was three angry-looking Slytherins scowling at him.

“What the fuck are you playing at Black?” the dark-haired Barty Crouch almost growled at him.

“I have no idea what you're even talkin ´bout you, are you alrite crouch?” he joked looking at him with false sympathy. He liked him the least out of Regulus´ friends most definitely. He was a bad influence, along with being incredibly cocky, annoying and just generally a pile of shit.

“We all know Barty is mental— But you, what were you doing sneaking around with my sister” Evan Rosier stepped towards him, curious and maybe a tad furious. He looked a lot like his twin, sharing the same beautiful blonde hair, a Rosier family trait, and charming eyes. He stood taller than Sirius but many people did, so there was nothing peculiar about that.

He had to laugh, god they really thought he was messing with her. That had to be the most hilarious thing about the whole evening.

Apparently, they didnt find it as funny as he did. Crouch groaned “Fuckin hate this lad”

“Feelins´ mutual Bartyboy” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. Rosier laughed loudly. Crouch scowled at his friend because he knew he hated the nickname Sirius had made. But honestly, he was quite funny.

“What was Pandora doing with the likes of you?” Crouch asked once again.

“Well isn´t it obvious? We were clearly shagging” Sirius spoke as nonchalantly as Remus often did, he hoped he looked as good as he did.

The two boys' eyes widened, and they were shocked. He still didnt understand how they believed him like that. And how did Regulus make friends with such idiots?

“Stop toying with them Sirius, just tell what it was” Regulus had apparently found his voice and wasn't finding this as amusing as he was.

“So you do talk Reggie”

“It's Regulus, you moron”

“Reggie”

“Regulus”

“Reggie”

Rosier groaned. “For fucks sake Black”

Sirius smirked. “Well I was clearly joking, Pandora is sweet, but no not exactly my type. Reggie over here might fancy her though, with the way he hauls after her,” he explained to them very slowly as if they were idiots, which they technically were anyway.

Regulus rolled his eyes.

“And what do you prefer, half-bloods like Mckinnon, or wait, what about Macdonald?” Crouch asked, but it was more like a statement rather than a question. “She is rather fit yeah, for a muggle that is, I bet you like that though, you bloody muggle-lover” he taunted him and Crouch smirked when he saw the look on his face, the little shit knew that it worked.

Regulus hit his friend on the back of his head, Crouch turned around to his friend winking as if he was finding this fun. That he was thriving in hurting people. “Get your friend on a leash will ya Reggie,” Sirius said.

“Just leave Sirius, People are looking,” Regulus mumbled through gritted teeth. Even though Sirius knew he didnt mean anything with it. Still, it was like he was watching her and not his Regulus, though she was across the room somewhere charming some minister. He felt like he lost his brother more and more to them. Because Regulus had never been mean, not really, and maybe his brother had become someone he didn´t know anymore in their time apart.

He squinted and pulled a face “How's the scar healing Reggie, still sour after mummy hit you” he mumbled and regretted his words immediately after seeing Regulus frown.

“At least he won't have as hideous scars as that Halfblood Lupin, he pro´lly got all sorts of diseases” Crouch spat out quickly in a defensive way. Probably not even thinking about what he was saying.

Sirius saw red, and this time he couldn't stop himself.

*

“Hello, Sirius” A pale-faced Narcissa appeared in front of him. She stood there in a marvellous emerald gown.

Most of the guests had left, and there were only a couple of people left.

She was polite enough to greet him, but not fake enough to pretend to care for him. The smile she bore told him as much. He didn't really mind. They never were particularly close, not like he was with Andy.

He didn't dislike Narcissa either way, but he disliked the man she was engaged to be married to.

Lucius Malfoy.

He was everything Sirius disliked about purebloods and their societies. He was posh, a snob, egoistical and a real people pleaser. He was absolutely empty, empty of anything other than greed. Malfoy was a social climber, the only way he could get someone like Narcissa. She was above him in every way. Intelligent, beautiful, ambitious and powerful, god if perfection was a thing Narcissa Black was the closest to it.

She was like Malfoy in that way, they fit into this society well, as they belonged there. Both blonde and tall they looked sort of like siblings. Though stranger couples have occurred among purebloods.

He straightened his posture and pulled an artful smile.

“Hi Narcissa” he greeted her kindly.

After the disaster that had found place, where the black heir had cursed Bartemius Crouch Junior, the only son of the important magic minister Bartemius Crouch Senior. His mother had cursed him, his ancestors and his future children with her screaming. After that, she had dragged him into a room, silenced it, and of course, had her fair share of screaming before she left him there. At least he wasn't crucified this time. Sirius laughed to himself.

But Narcissa had found him here before leaving with the rest of them and he knew why.

“Are you alright then?” she asked, politely. It was always like this with them. The politeness that they owed whoever owned them. Not literally but also yeah.

“I'm fine, and she is alright too, the baby is healthy.” He didnt even have to say her name for her to understand immediately who he was referring to. Sirius knew she wanted to know, because well he would have wanted to. And after e

Her face dropped probably in well shock, wasn't like anyone else mentioned or talk about her. “I- I do not care for her, or their mud-blood infant” she claimed, back to smiling pointedly at him, but Sirius could tell she was holding back emotions, she held and wanted to react differently but couldn't because she had never been allowed to.

“Her name is Nymphadora, and she is a Metamorphmagus” he continued as calmly as one could after an evening like this.

Her eyes widened. “Really? The ability to alter appearance?” She asked and he confirmed by nodding.

“Wow well that is– well it is admirable” she smiled a bit. “Andie was always a brilliant witch, always knew she´d have a child just as brilliant.”

“She's not dead Narcissa, she lives here, in London. Don't think she'd mind if you'd send her an owl every now and then” he tried.

Narcissa sighed, closing her eyes for a second, her lashes so long they touched her cheek. One could say whatever they wanted about his insane family, but their genes were immaculate, physically at least. The same sharp features have gone through them in many generations, that might be the inbreeding though.

“She would mind,” she confirmed so sure of it, “and I would too, she made her choice.” Narcissa continued with a longing look in the air as if she was thinking of something, some old memory perhaps.

“She chose that mud-blood over us, her sisters, her bloody family.” The blonde spoke bitterly about him as she had always done, as long as she´d know of Ted Tonks, she had hated him. He could tell this went beyond his blood status.

Sirius choose to ignore the use of the nasty slur right at that moment because he wanted to dig a bit deeper. Have Andy reconnect with her sister again, at least that's what he settled for. That he did this for her. Not for himself. Because in his mind this could never be them.

“Andy chose love, and she has her own family too.”

Narcissa scoffed loudly as if he had something ridiculous which it might have been, in their eyes.

“Love? Really Sirius? There's no room for love in our lives. It's the price we pay for being born into an Aristocratic and noble family like ours” she explained to him like there was something about the concept he didn´t understand.

“Noble this, aristocratic that. Don´ya fucking understand” he began. “Both you and Reg are long gone, they´ve brainwashed ya with all this nonsense” Sirius continued his rant. He didnt understand how they couldn't see what he saw. How could they

“I mean Bella was fucking crazy since birth, but you both had a chance.” The boy was not only frustrated but also angry, angry at Narcissa for being blind, angry at Regulus for being scared, angry at Andy for leaving, and unfairly angry at Pandora for giving him hope.

If Narcissa, a fair and honourable girl, reacted like this to her sisters' scandal there was no hope for the pair of brothers.

“You don't know what being happy is before you've been loved properly. Andromeda found it, you won't with that Malfoy bloke,” reminding her of her future loveless marriage her lips pressed into a thin line.

“C’est n’importe quoi! Lucius got power and influence and I as a Black am obliged to marry him. Not like you'd understand you, immature Blood traitor!” she shrieked, her cool and usual nature long gone.

“Stop doing that you daft witch!” he shouted, he was very glad for the silencing charm at that moment, glad no one could hear him in his anger.

She rolled her eyes as she spoke “Stop doing what you idiotic child?”

“Sayin´ those nasty slurs!” screaming a bit too manically.

She chuckled humorously. “Are you taking the piss?” her all poshness and refines gone, he remembered that she was not as graceful and flawless as he always had thought. Narcissa Dorea Black was an act, just like Regulus Arcturus Black and Sirius Orion Black were, and also like Andromeda Black once had been.

“Our world is not black and white, there's not only good and bad but there's also a lot in between and the sooner you realise it the better.” Narcissa had calmed down a bit, but she was nowhere near as calm as she had been earlier.

“It's Potter isn't it, that's why you're acting out?” she asked, her long hair had been freed from the chignon which it previously had been. “Mother thought you were lazy, that you just had ´la flemme´”

“Yeah tell dear auntie Dru she's right– for once anyway. I'm fuckin knackered” he smiled self-righteously as if he'd made a point.

“They will never see you like one of them, you do know that?” she pointed it out like she it was solid advice she stared at him with her electric blue eyes.

His jaw clenched almost automatically his smile dropping off his face because he couldn't disagree more. “Fuck off, what do you even know”

She scoffed and folded her arms together. “Just wait and see” she smiled eerily. “Not like I care either way.” She shrugged her shoulders cooly.

“Right”

“It's all for our façade, can't have another disgrace, not since her. Wait till ur eighteen at the very least,” she ordered him like he had no follow her. Sirius felt like an ´or else´ had been very fitting at the end of her sentence.

She was dense anyways, Andromeda was better without her.

“Au revoir little cousin,” Narcissa said cheerily like they hadn't been so cruel to each other just a couple of minutes ago. That was the odd thing about her, she had always made sure a conversation started and ended friendly. What was said in between was whatever, but as long as it started and ended on her terms she could pretend nothing had happened.

“Byebye ma cousine, ill say hi to your sister from you, you know the not mental one, names Andromeda in case you forgot!” he waved his hand almost mockingly, tilting back in his uncomfortably lavish chair.

“Bellatrix is my only sister. I don't know an Andromeda” she slammed the door after her, with unspoken magic of course, since the dramatics were what the Blacks lived for after all.