Admissions from a troubled mind
Once upon a time, there was a little Half-blood boy, who was placed in Slytherin House. His best friend, a Muggleborn witch, was placed in Gryffindor. They had foolishly hoped that this would not matter. Little did they know, both Houses hated each other with a passion. Not that this was always the case. Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin were the best of friends, but these facts got lost over time. Add one meddling old bastard in the mix and before you know it… serious House rivalry.
The little Halfblood boy met a prefect, by the name of Lucius Malfoy. Born a Pureblood and member of one of the Sacred 28, Lucius was going places. Lucius’ father, Abraxas was a right bastard. He had sworn allegiance to a certain Dark Lord and promised said Dark Lord that his son and all the sons that would come next, would also be his to command. So you see, Lucius didn’t really have a choice. When you grow up surrounded by hatred of the Muggles, that is what you believe must be true. It wasn’t until later, when Lucius had the Dark Mark and had to torture and murder innocent Muggles, that he realized that this was not what he wanted.
Enter Narcissa Black. The Blacks, like the Malfoys, were of the Sacred 28 and her mother and father believed that Muggles were filth. Bellatrix, her older sister had the Black madness, and Andromeda fled when she had the chance. But Narcissa did her duty and was promised to Lucius. They had met of course, in school, and she thought he was cute. A bit reserved, but cute nonetheless.
When the rift in their friendship happened, the little Halfblood, who had a neck for Potions, was recruited by Lucius, to meet the Dark Lord. One thing led to another, and after graduation, the little boy, who was now a bitter young man, took the Dark Mark and burned his bridges. The prophecy was spoken and the young man, hoping to please his Master, told him what he heard. The result, one dead best friend, one Unbreakable Vow to the Leader of the Light and one Dark Lord who was presumed dead, but no one knew for sure.
Lucius and Severus had remained friends. Narcissa was a good influence on Lucius, she didn’t care much for Muggles, but she also didn’t want to exterminate them, like one earlier mentioned Dark Lord. She was quite happy to raise their son and be a socialite.
5 days after the death of Regina Potter, it was Severus who Floo-called Lucius, with the request to talk. The trial of the Muggles would be tomorrow and Severus needed Lucius. He had postponed this talk until Minerva edged him on. She knew what he wanted from the other wizard, but it meant telling him everything. The Vow, the spying, the lies and of course, the girl…who was not completely dead.
That fact alone was baffling to Severus. She was not in the Shadowlands. He didn’t know the term but figured it meant where one’s soul went after death. He shuddered at the memory of the Codex. If he never saw that book again, he was quite content.
Lucius acknowledged the Floo-call and Severus stepped through. He was in Spinner’s End, his own home. He told Dumbledore he needed several ingredients, which happened to be at his home and the fool bought it. After clearing the soot away, he was greeted by a House Elf and let to the study. Lucius sat behind his desk and looked up when Severus entered. Lucius rose and walked to his friend. They shook hands and both men sat down. ‘What can I do for you?’ Straight to the point, Severus mused. ‘The trail of the Muggles is tomorrow,’ he spoke. ‘I know, what about it?’
‘I need you to ask for the removal of Albus as Headmaster.’
Silence followed. Lucius observed the younger man in front of him. He himself, as a Pureblood, was thought to hide one’s feelings and emotions behind a mask. He only lowered that mask when he was alone with his family. It had its benefits if no one knew what affected you, what angered you, what troubled you. Severus was also a master in this but now looked…down, broken. A most peculiar sight.
‘Dobby!’ A Hose Elf popped in. ‘Go ask Narcissa if she can come here.’ The Elf popped away and Lucius walked over to the liquor cabinet. ‘Want one?’ He raised a bottle of Firewhiskey and Severus nodded morosely. He needed the liquid courage. Severus took the glass and gulped it down before Lucius was able to toast to their good health. Lucius rose an eyebrow. ‘I see, another?’
There was a soft knock on the door and Narcissa entered the room. Dressed to perfection, she was the vision of the perfect trophy wife. She was wickedly smart and very compassionate, but as a Pureblood, she had the same upbringing as her husband and showed mild interest in why she was needed.
‘Severus tells me he wants me to remove Albus as Headmaster.’ Narcissa gave her husband a pointed look. ‘Hello Severus dear, how are you?’ Severus stood, kissed the back of her hand, and waited until she was seated, before taking his own seat.
‘You are troubled.’ It was not a question, it was a statement and Severus snored without humor.
‘I need to elaborate, I know, but it’s hard and a very long story. After hearing it, you might want me to leave and never come back.’ Lucius shared another look with his wife. ‘Is this about the Dark Lord?’ he asked.
‘Yes…and no…it’s so much more complicated.’ Severus was afraid he would lose his nerve and started speaking. He told them about how he had found the body of Regina Potter. How she was abused and that it was basically Albus’ fault. How Albus had lied to him all these years. That he had found out about the compulsions at Gringotts with Minerva and about the codex and what the book had said.
After he finished the first part of the story, Narcissa had tears in her eyes. The abuse of a magical child, by Muggles no less. Lucius was also upset. He didn’t like the Potters, they fought on more than one occasion on opposite sides of the battle, but he respected them and Lucius was a lot of things, but he was not a child killer. Narcissa would never forgive him if he committed such a crime.
‘There is more,’ Severus said tiredly. ‘Wait…Sev, wait…’ Narcissa called a House Elf and asked for food and drinks. ‘You look dead on your feet, eat something and tell us the rest.’
And he did. He told them about what caused the downfall of the Dark Lord. His eyes cast down to the floor, he admitted his part in the betrayal of his brethren, his Lord and the Vow he made after the death of the Potters.
Silence followed. It was a tense silence. Lucius was processing the story, Narcissa was 10 steps ahead and already plotting and Severus gripped his wand in his pocket, in case it came to a fight.
It was Narcissa that spoke first. ‘That must have been a lot to process, the Codex and all.’ Not what he expected, Severus looked up in bafflement. He swallowed and nodded. ‘Quite.’
Looking at his friend, Severus spoke. ‘It was never my intention to betray him. But I begged him to spare her. She was my best friend. I regretted telling him the prophecy the minute I told him. And then I made the second biggest mistake of my life, by going to Dumbledore.’
‘If he had spared her…he would have still killed her husband and the child.’ Lucius stated. Remorse flooded Severus. He hung his head in shame. ‘At that time, it didn’t matter.’
‘The man was insane.’ The comment was met with silence. It was spoken by Narcissa. She looked fierce. Lucius wanted to say something, but she silenced him with a look.
‘As far as I am concerned, you acted foolishly and selfishly. You should feel shame and regret…but that doesn’t mean that you cannot repent.’ Severus looked at her. ‘Your meaning?’
‘I mean that you are still my friend and I will help you get rid of that fool, as will Lucius.’ Lucius wanted to protest and gave Severus a glare, but was once again shushed by his wife.
‘If you don’t mind, Sev, Luc and I have some things to talk about, we will meet you tomorrow at the Ministry for the trial.’ It was a clear dismissal and Severus took his leave. He glanced over at his old friend. He hoped they were still friends. Lucius looked back, nodded once, and left the room as Severus stepped through the fire.