Chapter 1
Harry woke up suddenly. His back ached and he groaned. Sleeping on the floor was definitely something he'd never get accustomed to. It was cold in the Gryffindor Common room. Since over a month Harry had to sleep on the floor. "Damn you, Ronald", he muttered and stood up. Looking around, he found the source of the noise that woke him up. It was Draco's eagle-owl Salomon, tapping one foot on the window. Harry hastily rushed to let Salomon into the room. "Good Morning, Sal. Do you have something for me?", he asked the bird, stroking his feathers. Salomon held out his leg and waited until Harry had removed the short note, before he flew out of the window again. Harry unfolded the note and cursed. The reason no one was in the Common room wasn't that he was early... he was too late. Draco's short note said: 'Love, ten minutes 'til class, hurry up.' "Shit!", Harry cursed, put on clothes, grabbed his bag at the speed of light and sprinted to the dungeons. Apparently Salomon had been sitting for a while on the window, since the hallways were deserted and he clearly was being more than a few minutes late.
He barged into the potion's classroom, panting heavily. The Gryffindors cackled gleefully at him and Harry felt anger burn inside him. "Mr. Potter, how considerate of you to grace us with your presence. 10 points from Gryffindor. Sit!", Professor Snape ordered. His godson had asked him to be a bit more nicer to Harry. He tried, but he had to keep his mask in place. Severus Snape liked Harry Potter. The boy was so much more like Lily. Everyone always saw James in him, but Severus could see past Harry's appearence.
Harry sat down in the last row, putting down his bag and trying to ignore the hateful glares his classmates from Gryffindor threw him. He turned his head and spotted his boyfriend across the room. "Are you okay?", Draco mouthed. Harry tried a smile, but failed. He nodded and turned back to looking at his table. Professor Snape finished explaining the assignment. "Instructions are on the board, start now", he said. Everyone rushed to the supply closet to gather ingredients. Harry started to prepare his working place. He glanced warily at his knife. The blade was glistening in the flames from the torches on the wall next to him. I know you need it. Do it! Harry shook his head. He pushed the knife away from him and watched his classmates prepare their ingredients.
"Sir? Harry isn't working", Granger said with an obnoxious tone and arrogantly looked at Severus. Oh how I hate that girl, Severus thought, but he looked over to where Harry was sitting. Indeed, the boy wasn't doing anything. He strutted down the small passage between the tables and stopped in front of Harry. "Mr. Potter, why is it, that you are not working?", he drawled. Harry looked up. Emerald green eyes met onyx eyes and Severus saw nothing in them. But they cleared up and Harry's eyes became more lively. The potion's master set up a privacy charm and sat down in front of his student. Harry sighed.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I just...", Harry started. He knew he could trust his teacher. The black-haired boy gathered all his bravery and said: "I struggle with self-harm again lately. I don't want to risk hurting myself right now." Professor Snape looked at him thoughtfully. "That's very reasonable of you. How about we talk tonight? At 8 pm. Come to my office. For now, you may do your homework. And I'll take this with me", Professor Snape said and took the knife. Harry nodded and agreed to the meeting. His teacher looked at him again and stood up. He cancelled the privacy charm and walked back to the front of the class. Harry took out his books and started writing the essay for McGonagall, at least he tried. "Sir, don't you want to do something about this?", Hermione squawked. "Yeah, I don't want to loose points because of his laziness", Ronald added. Harry rolled his eyes. "10 points from Gryffindor, Mr. Weasley", Professor Snape said bored. "But Sir-", Ronald started to protest. "Merlin's beard, just shut up, Weasel!", Draco snapped at him. Harry smiled slightly.
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Harry was the first one out of the classroom. He thought about skipping classes for today. Everything was just shit. He felt like floating above the ground, losing his mind. The voices were back, telling him to cut himself. Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. After calming down a bit, the black haired boy decided to go for a walk. He didn't care about his studies right now. Harry left the school and walked slowly down to the Black Lake. A gentle breeze waved through the leaves of the tree and the soft sounds of the water calmed his mind. He sat down, feeling the soft grass beneath his fingers, the dirt, a few stones. A bug crawled over his hand, tickeling his skin. From the forest the screech of a thestral arouse and birds sang. A tear escaped the emerald eyes. This was something most people didn't appreciate the way he did. He heard steps nearing him. Harry knew who it was and when the person sat behind him, legs left and right from his, he leaned back into his boyfriends arms. The steady heart beat against his back was like music. "Are you feeling better, love?" Draco asked quietly. Harry nodded. "Still like hurting myself, but not as badly as before. I'll skip classes though", Harry answered. "I'll stay with you, but let's go inside. It's getting cold. Come now", Draco said and helped Harry up. He gave him a quick kiss and they went back to the castle.
Yet again the hallways were empty. The two boys walked alongside, holding hands, to the library. Pince, the librarian, watched them suspiciously. She knew that those two should be in class right now. But something about them felt off, so she decided to let them be. Madam Pince wrote a quick note to their respective Head of House and went back to dusting of the books. Harry and Draco settled down in a corner next to a window. Draco opened it, so Harry was able to hear the rustling of the trees and the singing of the birds. "Harry, love?", Draco quietly asked. "Dray?", his boyfriend answered, turning his head to look at him. "I really think we should go to Care of Magical Creatures after lunch. It'll help your mind. I heard we were doing a practical lesson with thestrals today", Draco suggested and Harry thought about it. "I guess...", he finally said. Draco looked pleased and took Harry's hand in his own. "I'm proud of you for trying. By the way, why were you late this morning?" Harry looked a bit uncomfortable. "I just overslept somehow. I didn't hear the bell. But I have a feeling that someone slipped me a sleeping potion of some kind", he explained. Draco looked angry. "Look, this is bullying. I know it's eating you. And I know you've cut again yesterday", he said more aggressive than anticipated. Harry was silent. Suddenly he leapt forward, hugging the blonde. He sobbed into his shoulder. Draco sighed and just held him. This day was going to be difficult for both of them...