Something So Beautiful Can Be Sad
~November 1988~
(Aurelia POV)
It’s been getting colder and colder everyday. Almost every leaf from all the trees surrounding the manor have fallen, and there’s a crispness in the air. Mum has been working with me nearly everyday to control my powers since its discovery 7 months ago. I understand that the consequences of the wrong people finding out are not only grave for me, but for my family as well. My father still hits me quite often, and if my abilities come out it will be even worse. There’s almost always bruises surrounding my arms, due to his strong grip and dragging me around. Mum tries her hardest, but I know she doesn’t want to get hurt at the hands of him either. Today mum and I have been out by the lake to control my abilities with water before the lake freezes up for the winter, which could be any day now. This isn’t very good, considering it has been the hardest thing for me to learn to control, and soon I’m not going to have the best method of practicing. We’ve been working at it nearly all day and I feel like I’m somehow losing the little progress I’ve gained previously, I’m starting to get more frustrated by the minute.
“This is pointless, mum! I’m never going to learn to control this! It’s not like the other things where I can recognize my emotion first and correct it.”
Mum took a long sigh, she honestly started to look as hopeless as I’m feeling.
“Aurelia, I don’t think you’re focusing hard enough. Just close your eyes and put the bad feelings away in the back of your mind.”
This is so stupid, she doesn’t understand that even when I feel good emotions it makes the water move. She’ll never understand how I feel, nobody gets it except me! As my level of anger starts climbing I look at the water and its swirling in the air above the surface. I hate this! Draco never has to learn any of this! Nobody understands!
“I’m done! Im never going to learn how to control this, and nobody understands the pressure of it all!”
I angrily pick myself of the ground and start storming back to the manor, tears welling up underneath my eyes.
“Aurelia! Come back here—“
“No! I’m done listening to everybody tell me what to do!”
I look back at the water and will it to stop moving unnaturally, but it doesn’t do anything, just keeps swirling faster and faster. I feel the tears start to flow, so I quickly turn around and start back towards the manor. Just as I reach to open the large door, someone else opens it from the other side. Auntie Bella. I didn’t even know she was here, god I hope she didn’t see what was going on down by the lake. She’s been visiting more and more frequently, at least a few times a week now, and its making me nervous. My thoughts are interrupted by her asking me a question, but I didn’t even comprehend what she said. I felt a twinge of fear and quietly said,
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
She looked at me as if she was staring into my soul, the twinge of fear I felt a second ago is definitely real fear now. She had a look of anger in her eyes as she repeated herself,
“I asked why you’re crying, Aurelia. Stupid girl, asking me to repeat a simple question.”
She muttered the last part under her breath, but I definitely still heard it. I quickly searched my brain for an excuse, but I didn’t have the energy to come up with one. I guess Ill just try my luck.
“Um, no reason, I think its just the cold wind. Now if you’ll excuse me—“
I tried quickly walking past her to avoid any further confrontation, but she gripped the top of my arm, stoping me from moving any further. I didn’t dare look up at her, I know it would just make the tears start flowing again.
“Now where do you think you’re going? You’re definitely not very smart if you think you can just rush right past me without giving me a proper explanation.”
“I—I told you the truth, Auntie Bella. I promise its just the—“
Her grip tightened on my upper arm as she cut me off mid sentence, saying,
“Look up at me, Aurelia! No pure-blood would stare at the ground when speaking to her elders.”
I slowly looked up at her, her eyes seemed to stare straight into my soul, threatening to find every secret I’ve ever held on to. I somehow quickly weaseled my arm out of her grip and began to walk backwards, trying to get away from her. I needed to get away, I felt the tears prickling at my eyes again as she started walking towards me at the same slow pace I was walking away. I’m starting to feel panicked as she slowly starts drawing her wand, saying,
“I know you and your mum have been hiding something from me for months now, Aurelia. Now be honest with me unless you want something very bad to happen to you...”
Her wand is fully drawn and pointing straight at me now, she almost looked insane. I have no idea what she is capable of. Suddenly my back met with a hedge, there was no where to run, no way to escape. Panic was taking over, my breathing quickened and becoming labored, the wind suddenly picked up and was flowing around me...no no no, I wasn’t thinking about controlling my emotions and it was starting to show. Auntie Bella quietly chuckled as she said,
“You really are so pathetic, aren’t you? Such a disgrace, I’ll give you something you deserve, Cruc—“
“Expelliarmus!”
Mum suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and Auntie Bella’s wand flew away from her hand. They both started running after it but mum wasn’t fast enough. Auntie Bella grabbed her wand and ran behind me, gripping my shoulder and aiming her wand right at my neck. Mum shouted at her,
“I know you did NOT just try to use the cruciatus curse on my eight year old daughter, Bellatrix!”
“Well it was either that or getting inside her mind and find out what you two are hiding that way, the cruciatus curse is just so much more fun though.”
“Do I need to emphasize again that she is a child?”
What’s a cruciatus curse? How could she get inside my mind? I need to get away before something bad happens, whether externally or to me directly. I tried slowly moving away from Auntie Bella, but she only tightened her grip on my shoulder, pushed the tip of her wand into my skin, and shouted,
“Either of you move and Aurelia will experience more pain than possibly imaginable!”
“Bella, lets just have a civilized conversation about this with Lucius inside. You know deep down that no child should have to experience either of those spells, especially from you.”
Auntie Bella groaned in annoyance as she let me go, and started stomping inside, I was still frozen in place due to fear. Mum quickly ran over to me and kneeled down to my level, she quietly asked if I’m okay, and I gave her a half-hearted nod. She then lead me inside and instructed me to go to my room, which I gladly obliged, and went to talk to Auntie Bella and father in the living room.
Once inside my room I sat on the window seat, and started to silently cry. The first snowflakes of winter are falling onto the leaves outside, I didn’t know something so beautiful could only make me more sad. Even though I’m young I know that I shouldn’t have to deal with all this. I’m so overwhelmed all the time, I just wish I could disappear. Suddenly I hear shouting coming from the living room, not wanting to listen to anything anymore, I covered my ears and curled up into a ball.After a few moments, I didn’t even notice that Draco had come into my room and was standing a meter or so away from me. His face told a mixture of sadness and confusion as he said,
“Aura...They’re talking about it...about you...I thought Auntie Bella wasn’t supposed to ever know?”
“I know, Draco. But something happened and Auntie Bella tried to do something called a ‘cruciatus curse’ to me. I’m scared, it looked like she really wanted to hurt me. I’m scared she will hurt me after learning about all of this.”
Draco sat next to me and pulled me into a hug, saying,
“I promise I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Aura. Not as long as I’m around you.”
I tried thanking him, but the only thing that came out was my muffled sobs. He hugged me tighter, I’m so glad I have him as a brother. He truly does make me feel safe.
~a few hours later~
It’s been a while since the house went silent and Draco went off to do his own thing. I figured Auntie Bella probably left after learning everything about her half-breed niece, so I think its safe for me to venture to the library in the manor to find a book to read. I quietly stepped outside my room and didn’t hear anything, so I quietly walk down to the library. Once there, I’m greeted by the warm fireplace and the smell of old parchment. I breathe a sigh of relief as I pick out a book about the history of Hogwarts, the school I’ll be going to in just a few years. I get cozy on the leather couch across from the fireplace and begin reading. I’m so deep into my own mind, imagining how happy I will be at school and the friends I’ll make, that I’ll finally be away from my abusive father, that I don’t notice the clicking of heels heading towards the library. Once I finally notice its too late, Auntie Bella aggressively slams the door to the room and locks it behind her with a snap of her fingers. I quickly throw the book onto the couch and jump up, trying and failing to find a way to defend myself. She stares into my soul again as she says,
“I knew something was wrong with you the moment I saw you, Aurelia. I tried for years to figure it out, but my young niece a filthy half-breed? That definitely wasn’t on my list of guesses.”
I start to feel a mixture of anger and pure fear. I look directly into her eyes and I reply without thinking,
“I thought you would have figured it out faster than the eight years it took, Auntie Bella.”
Oh no, that definitely was a mistake. There was pure anger in her eyes, her face contorted into something I have never seen before. She screamed out while taking angry strides towards me,
“I will NOT be disrespected by a disgusting Veela! You WILL be getting what you deserve!”
I start trying to run away as fast as I can, but an invisible force holds me back, and Auntie Bella grabs me by my left arm, slamming me into a corner. I realize there’s no way out of this as I start to panic and cry. She starts laughing at my tears as she quickly draws her wand, pointing it underneath my chin, forcing me to look right at her. I have never been more scared in my entire life than I am right now.
“You stupid, stupid girl. You have no idea what I am capable of, what I can do to you. This will certainly be more fun for me than it will be for you. CRUCIO!”
Suddenly my body feel is like its burning from the inside out. I can only scream as I feel my my skin ripping apart, my bones disintegrating. I feel her let go of my arm and I immediately collapse to the ground, holding myself and still screaming at the top of my lungs. Suddenly the pain stops, and I begin to catch my breath. I try to get up but my body physically wont let me. I hear her say while still half-laughing,
“I bet your father will be glad you finally got a taste of the cruciatus curse, he’s wanted to do it to you for years. You truly are a disgrace to everyone, Aurelia. CRUCIO!”
The unbearable pain returns, but its somehow even worse. I start screaming again as I feel my body contorting in ways I didn’t think possible. I still hear my Aunt manically laughing in the background, as if she’s enjoying torturing her eight year old niece. The pain continues, gets unimaginably worse. I feel tears streaming down my face and my vision spinning as the pain slowly stops, and as everything fades to black, I see Auntie Bella walking away, still laughing.
I didn’t think this much pain was possible. Physically and mentally.