Chapter Twenty Three- Marlene McKinnon
Marlene McKinnon
It’s the last day of summer holiday and Marlene hasn’t gone a day without thinking of Dorcas Meadowes. Their last moment together keeps repeating in her head.
Marlene decided she needs a change. She can’t stand looking in the mirror and seeing the same person she was before break.
Marlene is standing in the bathroom, looking in the mirror above the sink. She has the kitchen scissors in hand. She hates having long hair, it touching her back makes her physically cringe .
Marlene takes the scissors to her hair and watches as the dyed blonde hair falls to the ground. She cuts it just above her shoulders, cutting off other strands of hair to give it more depth . She decides to cut a slight fringe as well .
She takes a step back from the sink , Marlene stares at herself for a moment taking in her new appearance . “I love it, '' she whispers softly as she looks into her eyes for a second before she breaks out in tears .
She doesn't know why she’s crying, it feels like the sob has been building up in Marlene’s chest. Marlene wiped the tears from her face. “Suck it up” Marlene takes in a breath. Before she leaves the bathroom.
The first person she sees is her father, he stands tall, his posture lazy, and his shirt wrinkled. “What have you done?” He scoffs bitterly , taking in Marlene's New haircut.
“Do you like it?” Marlene asks pathetically, looking for her father’s approval .
“I hate it” he coughs out bluntly , Marlene bites the inside of her cheek as she takes the criticism .
Her father walks away before Marlene can respond. Marlene walks to the kitchen and her mothers eyes instantly grow wide. She steps close to marlene pushing her hair from her face. “Marlene McKinnon. What have you done” she spits out .
“why would you do that? You’re going back to school tomorrow.” Her mother pokes at her.
“I just wanted a change “ Marlene sighs.
“You’re going to regret that”
Marlene hates the way her parents' short comments make her feel. She has such a short temper just these sentences make her angry. Marlene just decides to be mature and not to say anything .
“Go feed Micah” her mother points to her baby brother who’s sitting in his high chair. Marlene lifts up her brother and grabs a bottle , she holds her brother and hopes tomorrow comes sooner than later.
***
Marlene’s on the train looking for her friends, “Marlene “ waves, Amelia. She runs over to Marlene. Amelia grabs Marlene by the shoulders, examining her new appearance .
“Amelia hi” Marlene smiles.
“love the hair” she moves her right hair towards Marlene’s new haircut .
“Thanks, I just needed a change” Marlene shrugs. “How was your break?”
“Great! I spent a bunch of time with Sybil” Amelia beams.
“Yeah?” Marlene questions.
“I’m sorry, I know you know I had a thing for you last year. But-“ Amelia defends.
“No, no don’t worry about it Amelia '' Marlene waves her worries away, and smiles affirmatively . “I’m glad you’re happy”
“Thank you”
“See you later Amelia “ Marlene smiles lightly
“Yeah” Amelia mirrors her smile. Marlene wanders around the train looking for someone to sit with. When she sees her.
Dorcas Meadowes sitting in a cart with Pandora and emmeline. Marlene instantly feels her body tense up, her stomach flipping.
Marlene stands in the hall watching through the door window as Dorcas laughs with them. She feels tears sting her eyes at the sight of her. She left her, she left Marlene there in that supply closet.
“Oi! McKinnon” yells someone. Causing Dorcas to turn her head towards the door. She looks at Marlene blankly, not an emotion flickering through her face.
Marlene turns her head away the second their eyes meet, she sees James running up to her. “Marlene, “ he smiles. “Nice hair. we’ve got a booth want to sit with us” he suggests.
“Yeah Thanks '' Marlene smiles lightly, forcing herself to not look back at Dorcas. She follows James to the cart.
***
Dorcas Meadowes
The moment Dorcas Meadowes sees Marlene McKinnon again, she feels like she’s seeing her for the first time again. Her hair is cut short and she has a sadness in her eyes. Dorcas just wants to wash away.
“Dorcas” Pandora nudges her side, causing Dorcas too look away from the window Marlene McKinnon once was.
“Hm?” Dorcas hums.
“I thought you said you were over her?” She asks.
“Yeah- yes I am” Dorcas mumbles uncertaintly .
“I don’t want to see you hurt again, Dorcas” Pandora smiles sadly, Dorcas sighs.
“You won't” she smiles affirmatively . Pandora rubs dorcass hand befre getting up and sitting next to emmeline. Leaning her head on Emmelines shoulder.
“Thank merlin” Sighs regulus, sliding the door open.
“Regulus!” Cheers pandora.
“How was your summer? “ Dorcas questions, regulus widens his ees, as he sits down next to her “eventful” he says blankly.
“Lover boys house?” Dorcas teases
“Yup, monty- his dad, literally the spitting image” Regulus huffs lightly . “and effie, his mom is so welcoming”
“Im happy for you reg” dorcas smiles.
“Thanks” Regulus smiles. “How was your summer?”
Dorcas shrugs “Same old, same old” she mumbles. Regulus gives her a short nod. He turns his head to emmeline and pandora who are melted into eachothers arms.
“I take it you two spent the summer together?” He teases. Emmeline smiles “Yup” , pandora lays her head on emmelines lay and emmeline holds onto her arms.
Dorcas cant help but feel slightly upset. Shes not usually one to get lonely looking at the people around her being in relatshionships , but it just makes her miss marlene. Why did she have to see her already?
***
Marlene McKinnon
It’s a week later and Marlene lays on her bed, Mary’s painting her nails and lilys in the library with remus. She stares up at her ceiling contemplating if she should go to the owerly. She’s been going every night since she’s gotten back, hoping Dorcas will be sitting there.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Mary asks, flickering her gaze to Marlene, who lays in a star-shape on her bed. “Hm?” Marlene questions lifting her self up on her shoulders.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you sneaking off at night, are you back with Dorcas?” She furrows her brows. Marlene waits till Mary’s done painting her nails, till she gives her a quiet answer.
“No” Marlene swallows a frown.
“Why are you even apart in the first place I don’t get it” Mary asks , sitting herself up from her bed. Making her way to Marlene’s, she sits next to Marlene and Marlene sits herself fully.
“You got hurt-“ Marlene croaks out before Mary interrupts. “I know, but why push her away?” Marys eyes are locked with Marlene’s before she cane answer.
“Because I love you” Marlene chokes out softly, she looks away from Mary, her chin wobbles, her jaw tense and she can feel tears stinging at her eyes.
“I know but-“
“I love you” Marlene repeats she turns her gaze back to mary. “ If I had to pick between you or her I’d pick you “
“You don’t have to pick Marls”
“I loved you before her. I love you. “ marlene breathes in shakily before continuing “ I was with her that night. I can’t stand you being hurt, Mary. I can’t.” she feels her heart racing in her chest, she picks at the dead skin on her thumb till it drips of blood
“I am - I am safe” Mary repeats, she grabs a hold of Marlene’s hand to stop her from the picking
“I loved you the way I loved her” Marlene chokes out. Mary’s eyes widen a bit “Marlene-
“I know, you’re with lily and I would never- I just I don’t think I could ever love anyone more than I love you and I’d push anyone away if it meant you could be safe, I’d push myself away. For you. Because I love you”
“Marlene” Mary pauses for a moment as she ponders her thoughts, she looks at Marlene sadly, she takes a deep breath before speaking again . “ you can’t sit there and put everyone’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love ”
“I know” Marlene whispers “ I know” she repeats trying to convince herself she does. She’s knows how much she loves Mary could be a bit much. She was her first love, and she’d love her till the day she dies. Marlene would throw herself infront of a dagger for her, even after hearing Mary’s words.
“No you don’t, Marlene. I love you too, you know that I love Lily. But I love you so much and I don’t want you to think that I don’t”
Marlene’s vision blurs with tears. “I know” she whispers. A moment of silence passes between the two, Marlene looks down at their hands and Mary looks at her. “I had sex with Dorcas” Marlene confesses.
Mary widens her eyes “ you did?” Marlene lifts her head back up to her and nods. “she left me. Haven’t talked to her since” Marlene bites her lip to hold back a sob.
“You still love her?” Mary questions. Marlene thinks for a moment the question makes her stomach twist, and her head fog. “I think so”
“Then you should go talk to her” Mary squeezes her hand. “I love you Marlene. I loved you”
“You did? When?” Marlene’s eyes widen , her heart skips a beat at her words. “Fourth year” Mary answers. “When did you?”
“All the years before “ Marlene answers wryly. Marlene swallows a deep breath.
“So . We missed each other, “ Marlene whispers. Mary smiles sadly, “I guess we did. “ Mary brings Marlene into a hug, and Marlene squeezes her back. She just wants to be smothers in Mary’s arms for all eternity. She knows she loves Dorcas but if they loved each other at the same time, she’s not sure they would’ve ever been together. Marlene knows she’s always loved Dorcas, the rivalry was just a coat of lies. But her love for Mary is different, it’s warm , it’s friendly, and even if she doesn’t love her romantically . She’ll always love Mary Macdonald.
“You should go talk to her marls” Mary whispers into Marlene’s ear, the two still interlocked in a hug.
“I will” Marlene whispers back
“Now” mary states, she pulls away, her hands going to Marlene’s shoulders which she shakes lightly “go”
“Okay” Marlene takes in a deep breath, “going” she stands up.
“Thank you.” Mary says lightly she still sits on Marlene’s bed as Marlene makes her way out of the dorm.
“For what?” Marlene questions , she furrows her brows at mary .
“For loving me” Mary states , a slight smiles across
“Always” Marlene smiles “. Thank you for loving me”
“Always, “ Marlene smiles. “now go tell the women you hate. That you actually love her” she shoos Marlene away rushingly.
Marlene huffs a laugh,” right! “ she widens her eyes “ Right “ she chokes out straightening out her jumper. “Wish me luck “ Marlene points finger guns at her. As she walks out of the room
“Luck” Mary points finger guns back. Marlene exits the room and she honestly doesn’t expect Dorcas to even be their. She hopes she isn’t because she doesn’t even know what to say. But she walks to the owerly anyway.