Chapter Five- Lily Evans
Lily Evans
Lily Evans had been in love with her best friend Mary macdonald since they were kids, whether it was platonic or romantic, Lily knew she loved her. Lilys been on edge all week ever since she told Marlene how she felt, shes afraid someone else is going to find out . That Mary would find out. Shell be a laughing stock. The only people shes told are Remus and Marlene. She found out that Remus likes Sirius the way she likes mary years ago, and it only made their friend ship closer. She knows remus wouldnt tell anyone , or hate her for it. She knows Marlene wouldnt either, but its different because Remus is like her. Marlene would tell her she if she was that way towards girls. Wouldnt she?
“Lils, you want to study later?” Mary asks , whilst Lily sits on her bed in the morning, organizing all of her papers.
“For what?” Lily asks.
“Transfiguration” Mary sighs, sitting down on the edge of Lily’s bed.
“Of course,” Lily smiles.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it” Lily looks up from her papers to meet her friend's eyes.
“Do you think Sirius really likes me?” Mary softens her tone.
‘What?” lily furrows her brows.’ She can hear her heart racing in her chest.
“I mean he's a good boyfriend, or whatever, but he seems to be drifting off.’ Mary shrugs.
“Drifting off??” Lily questions
“Yeah,” mary sighs, edging closer to her best friend. Lily backs away from Mary an inch “I think you should talk to him about this” Lily says nervously, not wanting to talk about the subject.
“I just want to know what you think lils” Marys eyes pierce through lilys. Lily looks down to her papers, letting her hair cover her eyes.Mary places a hand on lilys shoulder, and lilys stomach turns. Taking a deep breath Lily looks back up.
“Lily-”
“I should go!” Lilt exclaims.
Mary’s confused expression makes lilys heart wrench. Mary takes her hand of or lilys shoulder Shes grabbing her papers and rushing out of the room as quickly as possible. Rushing through the corridors Lily bumps into someone.
“Lily?” she hears a familiar voice.
“Severus?” She looks up eyes meeting with her childhood friend.
“Jesus what is up with your hair?” He chuckles.
“What?” She asks,
“Its so messy” He claims. “You should straighten it, people like you do “
“People like me?” Lily squints her eyes, and she knows a frown had formed on her face.
“Y’know “ Severus shrugs
“I dont have time for this” As she begins to walk away Severus grabs her wrist. “Stop it” Lily takes her hand back “You dont have to be so harsh” She says rubbing her wrist.
Severus stays silent for minute and lily can feel the tightrope of their friendship slowly breaking thread by thread. "Im sorry lils" He whispers.
“I should go” Lily mumbles. Walking away, severus didnt say anything afterwards.
Lily sits down at the griffindor table next to Marlene. “Hiya lils, you alright?” Marlene asks.
“Yep” Lily puts on a smile. “Are you?” Marlene nods.
“Lily?” Remus says right across the table from her. “Yeah?” lily smiles “Do you want to go to the library with me after school?” he asks
“When do I not want to go to the library with you?” Lily affirs
“Ill take that as a yes” Remus says, continuing back to his breakfast.
Lily starts putting food on her plate when she feels the presence of someone standing behind her, she turns around to see Mary.“Lily what the hell? “ She sits down “ You basically ran out of the dorm today” . Lily looks infront of her and can see Remus looking at her knowingly.
“I just was_” Lily auses thinking of a good excuse “Starving”
“Mhm” Mary hums not believing a word of what lily is saying.
Most people cant see through lily, but mary can tell what shes feeling through her voice, or her posture or just the look on her face. But if she can see through her so well, why can she see the biggest feeling she has? Most of the time lily Evans just feel like shouting at the top of her lungs how she feels twords Mary. But she can’t. This isnt like nomal love you see in films. Lily cant think about her feelings for two seconds with out having her stomach churn Shed be completely outcasted by her family. They hate her enough as it is.
“Can we talk more after school?” Mary asks.
“Can’t Im going to te library with Remus” Lily says bluntly, her voice coming of harsh. “Oh” Mary mumbles. Lily instantly regrets the tone of her voice.
Marlene clears her throat.
“Actually Mary, I was wondering if I could talk to you later.
Lily instantly turns her head to the side to look at Marlene, a feeling of worry instantly washes over her. Is she going to tell her?
No she cant.
Marlene would’nt.
Windening her eyes at marlene, Marlene face softens putting her hand over Lilys that’s placed next to her on the bench.
“Dont worry” she whispers.
Lily can feel a weight off her chest just by the words.
***
Later that afternoon.
Lily had just arrived at the library and shes looking for Remus. He sitting in the back of the library at a table . With sirius. Lily can see a book open in his hands placed down as hes talking to Sirius. She steps closer and she can hear them talking.
“I just dont get it” Sirius says.
“Get what?” Remus utters
“You, youve been distant ever since the start of school”
“I dont know what you want from me” Remus says in reply.
“I want our old moony back” Sirius say, his voice gong quiter.
Remus sighs, closing his book. “Alot happened over the summer Sirius”
“Then tell me, you used to tell me everything”
“I dont remember telling you everything” Remus says sarcastically
“Well you used to tell me more things, you barely talk to me anymore: Remus doesnt respond.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No”
“Then what is it?”
Lily can see Remus’s face turning a crimson color, and she takes this as her queue to make an entrance. “Hiya” Lily says walking up to their table. The two boys move apart from eachother.
Remus clears his throat, “lily”
“Hiya lily” Sirius smiles.
“Ready to get out study session started?” Lily asks.
“Im going to go”
“Your’e never studying black” Lily teases
“You're always studying Evans” Sirius teases back. Making a leave . Even though Sirius is in a relationship wth Mary she cant help but still be friendly to Sirius. She likes the friend ship they have.
“Alright?” lily asks
“Yeah” Remus responds looking down to his book.
But not ever reopening it.
“Its just hard ,y’kow” Remus shrugs.
“Yeah I know” Lily brings a hand up and rubs Remus’s shoulder.
Remus and Lily tell eachother everything,.
She knows that hes gay and he knows she is , she knows his situation at home and he knows hers. She found out about him being a werewolf in third year, and it never affected their friendship.
“What happened with Mary earlier?” Remus questions.
Lily leans her head on Remus’s shoulder.
“She started talking about her relationship so I freaked out and ran away” Lily laughs lightly
“Sounds appropriate” Remus matches her laugh.
“We’re a mess”
“Definitely, but atleast your the pretty one”
“Hey, you Remus Lupin are very pretty” Lily lifts her head up.
“It it my eyes?” Remus jokes, fluttering his lashes.
“Obviously “ Lily laughs.
Remus smiles.
“Thanks “ Remus mutters.
“Of coarse” Lily smiles.
***
Its night time and Lily can’t sleep, she’s been tossing and turning all night, and Mary and Marlene are already . When she finally decides to grab her current book of her night stand, which is Jane Austens book Emma. Putting on her slippers Lily heads down to the common room. She sits down on the couch and opens up her book. Lily reads a while until she hears foot steps. She turns her head around expecting to see someone but no one. Looking back to her book , she hears another one,
“Whos there?” Lily asks, looking around some more.
“Lily? Uh - what are you doing down here?” She hears , looking for the voice she makes eye contact with James Potter who is standing next to the entry.
“Jesus Potter, your’e going to give me a heart attack” Lily brings a hand to her chest. " And I could ask you the same question, and why are you coming from the corridor, curfew was hours ago”
James looks around the room “Just a walk” James shrugs.
“Its the middle of the night”
“Can I sit?” James asks.
“Sure” Lily moves over to make more space for James.
“Thank you” James sits.
“Are you going to tell me where you actually were?” Lily looks at her book
Jams stays silent.
“Uh”
“Lucky lady?” Lily mutters not looking up.
“What? No! No”
“Uh huh” Lily hums.
“There isnt” James says quietly
Lily looks up from her book.
“You used to like me right?” Lily questions. Remembering younger James who used to be a completely different person around lily, and say chessy stuff to her.
“I mean- yeah, I was young-”
“How did you know?” Lily interrupts
“How did I know?” James repeats the question. Lily nods. “I guess I just did, whenever I was around you my heart would rase and my stomach would flip” James doesnt look at lily when he says this he just looks at the wall. Lily doesnt look at him either.
“So thats what it feels like when you like someone?”
Thats how she feels when shes near Mary “Yeah” James says quietly. “Why do you have a lucky guy” He teases.
No
“Oh!” Lily widens her eys “No, definitely not”
“Mhm” James hums, looking at Lily squinting his eyes. He doesnt have his glasses on, and neither does she.
“Can we be friends James?” Lily asks, finally making eye contact with him.
“Arnt we already.?”
“Not really, we’re friendly , but we’e not ‘friends’ “ Lily claims.
“Yeah lily, we can be friends” james answers.
“Okay” Lily smiles.