Year Five
What a horrible start to a year.
After everything last year, Regulus was sure he knew what this year was going to look like. Yet, somehow, he got blindsided by news that his wife has brain cancer, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is a Ministry member hated by anyone with half a brain, and Harry almost got himself arrested this summer trying to ward off a dementor on his own. All horrible things, all at the same time, and at this point Regulus shouldn’t be surprised.
Umbridge has been giving all of them hell, and, in an effort to keep his job, Regulus has been very sparse with the details he shares with any students affiliated with her. Unfortunately, that has meant almost entirely cutting off personal conversation with Draco, which has been hard.
Of course, at the end of his class, Draco walks up to Regulus, holding out the paper they worked on today.
“Can you help me with this, Professor?” He asks, Regulus really wanting to say no. Help with work has been Draco’s scapegoat to talk to Regulus since Third Year, and Regulus has been trying to evade his questions since the beginning of the year. He can tell it’s starting to grate on Draco’s last nerve, but there’s nothing he can do. He needs to keep his job.
Reluctantly, though, he nods, “Of course, come sit, dear.”
Draco pulls up a chair to Regulus’ desk and sits down, Regulus looking at what Draco handed him. The first half of the problems are completed, but the last few are blank, save for violently scribbled-out work on the 5th question.
“What’s giving you difficulty, dear? Let me help,” Regulus offers, Draco pointing at the 5th question.
“I don’t get how to do it,” He tells him, Regulus reading back through the question about star chart predictions. Regulus makes the quick assumption that Draco is probably struggling with the math itself, turning the paper so they both can see it as he slowly walks him through doing it. Draco easily picks it up, Regulus having a feeling he understood it pretty well before this but not minding explaining it again. Draco does the next problem completely correctly on his own, Regulus smiling.
“You’ve got it, my dear, that’s right,” He smiles, “Do you want to finish up those last few here so I can check them or do you want to do them on your own?”
“I can do them now,” He answers as he starts on the problems, working through the last 3 he hadn’t finished yet. He asks a couple of questions but for the most part speeds through them, handing over the paper when he finishes. Regulus takes it and scans through the work, although he looks up when Draco asks him a question.
“How has Sirius been, Professor?” Draco asks, Regulus smiling despite how the mention of his brother, who has not been the nicest to him recently, irks him a bit.
“He’s alright, busy,” He dismisses, knowing he can’t mention too much about the Order.
“Busy with what?” Draco presses, Regulus quickly puzzling something out to reply with.
“Just work and such,” Regulus shrugs, Draco furrowing his brow at him but nodding.
“What work?” Draco presses, leaning back and crossing his arms. Regulus takes a deep breath before just shrugging again.
“Just work, my dear, auror work,” He repeats, Draco growing visibly angry.
“What?” He asks again, “What work?”
Regulus pauses a moment before settling for another dismissive answer. “Just work-“
“Why won’t you tell me anything, Professor?” Draco explodes at him, catching Regulus a bit off guard. He puts down the paper, putting his full attention on a furious Draco sitting in front of him.
“Take a deep breath, dear, calm down,” Regulus advises, Draco huffing and rolling his eyes.
“No, Professor, I’ll listen to you once you listen to me! I’m- I’m talking to you and asking you things like I do every year and like you tell me you want me to do and you’re barely answering me. What the hell happened?!”
“My dear,” Regulus starts, pausing a moment to find the right way to word it before settling on asking, “Do you want me to tell you the truth?”
Draco nods, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
“Because sometimes the truth isn’t the easiest to hear, but I don’t want you to yell when I tell you this, ok?” Regulus asks, Draco rolling his eyes but nodding. “You know things are very dangerous now, and especially with Professor Umbridge threatening the jobs of many teachers, I need to be very careful. I understand that you likely mean no harm, but I can’t trust that you’re not going to tell her things because I know you have in the past.”
Draco stares at him in almost horror for a minute before suddenly blowing up at him, standing up, “You’re ridiculous, Professor! What- I- I just- God forbid I want to talk to you-”
“Dear,” Regulus tries to warn him, but he keeps yelling anyway.
“You don’t fucking trust me! You don’t- You don’t trust me you’re just like my fucking parents-”
“Draco,” Regulus firmly stops him, “Sit, please.”
Draco’s expression hardens, flopping back down in his chair and crossing his arms. Regulus has to take a moment to calm himself down before continuing to talk to him.
“You need to understand that things right now are very risky. I want to trust you, my dear, I want nothing more than to trust you, but as much as I understand what you’re doing you need to understand that it has consequences, Draco. If you pledge allegiance to someone trying to take my job away I cannot trust you with any information that could give any reason to take away my job. I don’t know where that information is going to travel, and I’m sure you have nothing but good intentions but I don’t know that for a fact. I’m not asking you to conform anything you do to what I believe, but then you need to deal with the fallout of that.”
Draco stares daggers into Regulus, Regulus remaining calm but firm on what he said. They sit in a long moment of silence, Draco breaking it first, his voice clearly shaky, although he tries to cover it up with anger. “So what, I should stop talking to you then? You know, make it easy to just abandon me?”
“My dear, that’s not what I’m doing,” Regulus tries to explain, but Draco doesn’t want to listen.
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’m being cautious,” Regulus answers, “That’s all, I’m just being careful. I want nothing more than to trust you but I don’t know where you stand, and I can’t endanger myself or anyone else. You’re my family, my dear, I will never abandon you, but you’re also your own person with your own choices. You need to understand that those impact others, too.”
Draco stays quiet for a very long moment before snatching the paper off the desk, quietly and brokenly telling Regulus, “Whatever. Bye then, Sir.”
Draco gets up and storms off, loudly shutting the door behind himself. Regulus immediately feels his heart sink, knowing he just reversed 4 hard years of work with Draco to get him to trust him. All of that and he ruined it in 5 minutes. Regulus takes his glasses off and puts his head down on his desk, frustratedly sighing. He can’t believe he just messed that up so badly, he can’t believe he really just let him walk out and call him ‘Sir’ and address him like nothing ever happened.
He doesn’t get to wallow for long, though, as a moment later he hears someone knocking on his door, Regulus quickly sitting up and putting on his glasses, just catching the door creaking open and Neville poking his head in.
“Are-Are you busy, Professor?” He asks, holding the big Herbology book Regulus dug up going through the things at Grimmauld Place this summer. It’s an old book with types of plants that Neville has probably never even seen before, things that only old, pureblood families would know about. Neville was fascinated when Regulus gave it to him, and he’s been periodically coming back to tell him about all the things in it.
“Not at all, come in,” Regulus urges him, “Have you read some more of that book?”
“Yeah, I just got to this part, Professor, look,” Neville walks up and sits down at the chair in front of his desk, putting down the book and opening it up to a page about eyélie, the purple, orchid looking flower with a bright orange center pressed into a glass case set into the page. Neville beams up at him, “I’ve never seen this much information on an eyélie before, normally books have a very small amount of information about them but this has so much. It tells you how it’s grown and all of its variants and their combinations. Did you know if you put together purple, red, and green eyélies it can make you really sick because the combination of all three of their effects clash so badly that it can cause your body to shut down and be unable to walk for a week?”
“I did know that, only because my aunt grew those flowers,” Regulus tells him, “They’re very unpleasant plants, eyélies, funnily enough, I sniffed all three of those colors when I was little and am proof that they are a very bad combination.”
“Oh, what happened? Were you ok?” Neville asks, “Those are really bad, especially for a little kid.”
“I was alright, I got very sick, I couldn’t walk, I had a very weak immune system as a kid,” Regulus tells him, “They grew in my aunt’s garden, they’re beautiful flowers but they’re really dangerous in bulk. Professor Sprout grows them, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah, she does, and she grows eyélie hybrids with kulacakes, those weird flat flowers that taste really good. It makes them a lot easier for people to take in a potion because people don’t like the taste of eyélies and they don’t have great effects on everyone so breeding them with a more passive flower might make them more accessible to everyone,” Neville explains to him, “They’re really weird looking but very cool, have you seen them?”
Regulus shakes his head, “No, that’s very interesting. I can’t take anything with eyélies in it, they’re too strong for me, so I think that’s very interesting that you can make them less potent.”
“Yeah! It’s very cool, but you need to be so careful with them,” Neville tells him, “You have to wear nose plugs working with them, and sometimes even then you feel sick. They’re very temperamental plants, but this book was so clear on how to take care of them, I’ve never thought of using lavender leaves to make them less aggressive.”
“None of your books have this in them?” Regulus asks, Neville shaking his head.
“No, they have so little information on these more difficult and hard-to-tame plants,” Neville starts to explain, launching into a detailed explanation about how Herbology information is gatekept and how all of these complex plants are researched but only by rich, pureblood families. He’s very passionate about it, something Regulus absolutely adores about Neville because it’s something he completely understands. It’s also a very nice distraction, and he always gets to learn a little bit about the subject. Although he's cut off when the door opens, Regulus looks up to see Draco standing in the doorway, Neville looking back too. Draco has a hard, angry look on his face, although in the way his eyebrows curve up Regulus can see guilt in it too. Regulus, not wanting to kick out Neville but knowing he needs to talk to Draco, gets up, tapping on the table to get Neville to look over at him.
“One moment, dear, when I come back I want to keep hearing about these hybrids, they’re very interesting,” Regulus tells him, smiling.
Neville nods, expression brightening again, “Ok, Professor.”
Regulus walks around his desk and up to Draco, who steps out of the room when he does. Regulus shuts the door behind the two of them, Draco saying nothing but handing him a small, folded piece of paper. Regulus goes to open it, Draco reaching over and pinching the paper closed again.
“Open it later,” Draco tells him, “In your office.”
“Alright,” Regulus hesitantly nods, “Thank you, dear.”
“Mhm,” Draco hums, taking a couple of steps back before awkwardly waving at him, “Bye, Professor.”
“I’ll see you in class, dear, always find me if you need anything,” Regulus bids him goodbye, Draco walking off down the corridor. Regulus goes back into his classroom, pocketing the paper Draco gave him despite how curious he is about it. He walks back and sits down at his desk, telling Neville, “Sorry, dear, continue.”
Neville goes right back to explaining everything he was before, using so many terms and names that Regulus has no idea what they mean. Regulus is selfishly focused on the note in his pocket, hating how he gets excited when Neville finishes up talking, shutting the book he was pointing things out on.
“Professor Sprout promised me she’d let me help work with the eyélie hybrids today, so I have to go, Professor,” Neville tells him as he picks up the book, “I’m sorry, I just made you sit here and listen to a ton of information.”
“Never apologize, dear, I love hearing about all of this, you’re welcome anytime,” Regulus assures him, “Definitely come back and tell me how tending to them goes, I’m very interested.”
Neville smiles back at him, visibly very excited, “Ok! I’ll see you soon, Professor.”
“Bye dear, have a good day,” Regulus replies, waving as Neville walks back out of the room, shutting the door behind himself. Regulus takes the paper out of his pocket and opens the top fold, seeing Draco’s perfect cursive handwriting.
Professor Umbridge is coming into your classroom Thursday during 1st period. She’s going to ask you about Harry, tell her you aren’t that close and you don’t know about any anti-war effort. I told her that, she believed me, but she’ll still ask
Regulus opens up the bottom half to see one scribbled, rushed-out word.
Sorry
Regulus smiles down at the letter, glad Draco didn’t stop talking to him forever. He, instead, did something very admirable and went against Umbridge to make sure Regulus was protected. Regulus sets the note on his desk, unsurprised when it lifts up and burns to a crisp, falling to ashes on Regulus’ desk. He vanishes the mess and takes a deep, calming breath in, letting the relief of not losing the trust of his cousin that took years to build wash over his body. He must’ve explained it well because Draco saw the reasoning. And on top of that, he now has information on the inside so he can both keep his job and not get blindsided.
He’s very confident he can save Draco from drowning, he now knows he can do it on a small scale. But this is a pool compared to the lake that is the impending Wizarding War. But Draco sees reason, he always has, and Regulus knows how to work with reason. As long as Regulus stays reasonable, Draco will keep seeing the bad he’s surrounded by.
It’s going to take a lot of work, though.
***
Regulus looks up when Harry pokes his head into Regulus’ classroom, right as he’s about to leave to go back home. Cynthia had a particularly rough week this week, and Regulus would rather not dawdle getting home. But, his nephew is very important to him, so he doesn’t do anything but smile when he sees him.
“Hi Harry,” Regulus greets, “What’s up, bud? Need anything?”
Harry shuts the door behind himself, locking it before asking, “Has Draco told you anything about Umbridge?”
“No, not yet, I told you that I’ll let you know if he does,” Regulus replies.
“Did you ask him?” Harry presses, walking up to his desk, “Did you ask him where she thinks we are yet?”
“Bud, I’m working, I can’t be seeking him out and asking him about what he knows. If he knows something important he’ll come to me,” Regulus tells him, “If you want to, Harry, you could talk to him yourself.”
“No!” Harry replies in disgust, “He doesn’t like me, he wouldn’t tell you anything if he thought that it was going to me.”
Regulus looks at Harry skeptically, smiling, “Harry, my dear, he knows that I tell you, that’s why he tells me all of this. You think he believes that I’m just getting this information for me, bud?”
“He- He- What?” Harry questions, “That’s ridiculous, why would he ever give information to me?”
“He doesn’t hate you, bud, not at all. Do you remember the gift you got at the end of last year, with the origami lion?” Regulus asks, Harry nodding. “That was from Draco, all of last year he was worried about you and if you’d be ok. He changed the buttons to encourage you, he was worried that you were going to get changed by the tournament and not want to talk to him anymore, he really doesn’t hate you. He thinks you hate him, but he’s broken his view of you, bud. You just need to do that.”
Harry crosses his arms, leaning back on a nearby desk, pausing before replying, “He still won’t talk to me.”
“You haven’t been the most pleasant to talk to, Harry,” Regulus points out as he continues packing his bag, “I understand the two of you mutually argue with each other but you know that you say things that aren’t nice.”
“Uncle Reg, you act like he’s nice to me,” Harry jumps up to sit on the desk.
“Exactly,” Regulus replies, “It’s a cycle, and he’s breaking it by telling you information, and now it’s your turn. Just walk up to him and pull him aside and talk to him, or come in here with him. But I don’t want to be the middleman forever, bud, you need to talk to him yourself.”
Harry huffs, “I don’t want to.”
“Well then you don’t get any more information until I hear it,” Regulus replies, “That’s just how it works, bud, I’m not around all the time and you are. You two are just like your dad and Uncle Sirius, I’ve been saying it since the day I saw the two of you go back and forth. You two are going to get along great.”
“Uncle Sirius didn’t work with a teacher who wanted Dad dead,” Harry argues, “If he really doesn’t hate me then why the hell does he act like it all the time?”
Regulus looks up at him a moment, analyzing the confused look on his face before deciding that maybe now is the time Harry needs to learn a little bit about how Regulus and Sirius grew up, walking around his desk and sitting on the front of it. “Bud, do you know anything about Sirius and I’s family? Not your family, our birth family?”
Harry furrows his brow at Regulus, “No? A little that Sirius has told me but not a lot, why is this important?”
“Because, my dear, you are very fortunate you got to grow up in a very loving family who believed that everyone has the right to live in the Wizarding World you do. Not everyone thinks like that, you know that bud, I know you do. But, those families, the ones who believe all of those horrible things, are often very pushy with those thoughts. Do you know how much trouble Uncle Sirius got in just for getting into Gryffindor, nothing else?”
“But he doesn’t control that, that’s stupid,” Harry points out, Regulus nodding.
“Exactly, it seems ridiculous to you, but these types of thoughts and traditions have been around for thousands of years, and for many, they’re hard to break. When I was young I spent a lot of time with a lot of people just like Draco, a lot of people who didn't understand what was wrong with what they were doing. He’s learning, and he’s much better than when you first met him, but imagine if your dad constantly made you use derogatory words and say mean things or you got in trouble, bud, it would make you try to stick to those values too.”
“But- But- You aren’t like that,” He argues,”So why is he?”
“Well, I was very shy when I was younger, but I used to believe a lot of that stuff. I didn’t really stop until Uncle Sirius taught me and showed me what I was taught was wrong,” Regulus tells him.
“How do you not know?” Harry questions, “Killing people is obviously bad, how do you meet someone and want them dead? Or think they’re less? That’s insane, I don’t get it.”
“Harry, bud, I didn’t meet someone who wasn't a purist until I was 11 going to school,” Regulus answers, “You can’t understand because you were very fortunate and have amazing parents and an amazing family. When you’re sheltered like that sometimes it’s hard to separate what is your parents talking in your head and what is your own beliefs.”
“How do you know he doesn’t genuinely believe this stuff?” Harry quips back, “What if he’s pretending because he likes you, Uncle Reg?”
“You need to stop assuming everyone is bad, bud, just because they aren’t perfect doesn’t mean they have bad intentions. And I know that he doesn’t believe it because I’ve talked to him before, and I know what it looks like when someone does,” Regulus explains, “I’m not asking you to trust him, I’m just asking you to talk to him, that’s all.”
Harry rolls his eyes but hops off the desk, arms crossed, “Fine, Uncle Reg, I will.”
Regulus smiles, “Thank you, Harry, and don’t give him lip right away, remember that you still need to make those good terms before you can use them. I’m sure the two of you will bicker all you want later but solidify that you’re friends first, my dear.”
“I’m never being his friend, ew,” Harry replies, looking at Regulus in disgust. Regulus sighs, shaking his head.
“Harry,” He scolds, “That’s not a nice way to talk to anyone.”
Harry rolls his eyes, “You sound like Dad.”
“You sound rude,” Regulus replies, putting his bag over his shoulder. He’s about to continue when there’s a knock on the door, Regulus calling, “Come in.”
The door creaks open and Draco takes a step in, immediately looking over at Harry in surprise as he shuts the door behind himself. He looks back at Regulus, stuttering before saying, “Uh, Can- Can I talk to you, Professor?”
“Is it about Professor Umbridge?” Regulus asks, Draco slowly nodding, glancing over at Harry. “Why don’t you just tell Harry, dear? I’m finishing packing up and I’m leaving, I think it would do the two of you well to talk to each other about this.”
The two boys look awkwardly at each other, Harry jumping back up to sit on the desk but not saying anything. Regulus waits a minute, although the two just aggressively stare at one another. Regulus sighs, smiling and shaking his head.
“Greet each other, dears,” Regulus tells them as he goes back to packing up his second bag of work he needs to grade over the weekend, “Say hello.”
Harry shifts for a minute but awkwardly and tightly greets, “Hey.”
“Hi,” Draco dryly answers.
“What are you doing here?” Harry questions, a little too aggressively.
“Harry,” Regulus scolds, Harry huffing but trying again.
“How are you?” Harry asks, Regulus nodding at his correction.
“Uh, fine,” Draco answers, fidgeting uncomfortably with his hands. When Regulus looks up at it, though, he stops immediately, putting his hands behind his back instead. Regulus ignores it, going back to the work he was doing and letting the two of them chat.
“That’s good, uh, so what do you have to tell me?” Harry cuts to it.
“Nothing, I don’t have anything to tell you, Potter,” Draco quips back, “I’m not letting you use me for information-”
“Ok, boys, why don’t the two of you talk casually first, instead of just making this a business transaction? Talk about something, it doesn’t matter what,” Regulus advises.
Draco looks back at Harry angrily, Harry looking between Regulus and Draco for a minute before quilling, “Do you ever smile?”
“Not for you,” Draco snaps back.
“Careful, if you don’t work out those muscles they’re gonna get stuck like that,” Harry teases.
“At least I’ll always be prepared to bump into you then, Potter,” Draco sharply replies, Regulus looking up from the bag at the two of them disapprovingly. He’s done his part, there’s nothing more he can do now but just let them bicker. Although, he’s surprised when he hears Harry laughing, hearing his less-than-quiet whisper to Draco.
“Keep at it, Malfoy, look, we’re driving Uncle Reg up the wall,” He says, Regulus glancing up to see Draco looking at him confused, eyes going between Regulus and Harry before setting on Harry again.
“Why?” He questions, also whispering.
“It’s funny,” Harry replies, “Come on, you gotta think it’s funny.”
Draco shakes his head, raising an eyebrow, “No?”
“Mmm, watch,” Harry whispers, leaning back on his hands on the desk and saying, louder this time, “I’ll be eager to see you wear your specially made expression for me around, then.”
“Handcrafted,” Draco deadpans, Harry smiling.
“I’d give you your own but I don't intend on letting you interact with much more than the back of my head, at least it can’t smell you .”
“As if you’d stop running your mouth long enough to even notice that,” He pokes back.
“Oh, I don’t need to smell it. It’s more of a feeling, like a burning in the back of my throat,” Harry playfully kicks at him, clearly not trying to hurt him at all, ”I don’t know how many showers are in the Slytherin dorms but there has to be one somewhere.”
Draco smirks, “Careful, Potter, I wouldn’t want to know what Umbridge would do if she found out you were attacking her favorite student.”
“Maybe if you kiss up enough she’ll let you write the next headline,” Harry dramatically waves his hands in front of him, “‘Breakthrough on Harry Potter’s methods: Is violence his answer?’”
Regulus looks up at the both of them, exaggerating his reaction in an effort to get the two of them to bond over making him annoyed. He shakes his head and sighs, Harry laughing and looking over at Draco, who surprisingly looks back at Harry and returns a smile and a laugh. Harry leans his arms on his knees, physically relaxing a bit hearing Draco bond over something with him. Regulus keeps playing into it, raising an eyebrow at them, “This is casual?”
“Absolutely, we don’t even have an audience this time,” Harry jokes, “As casual as it gets.”
“Can it get ‘how was your day?’ casual, maybe?” Regulus questions.
Harry looks at Draco, annoyedly but clearly jokingly asking, “How was your day, Malfoy?”
“Better before I ran into you,” He quickly shoots back, Harry looking back at Regulus.
“There, like that?” He questions, smiling. Regulus sees the big smile form on Draco’s face as he looks between Harry and Regulus, clearly very happy to be interacting with Harry positively, even if they’re teasing each other.
“You know what? As long as you’re not tearing each other apart I’m not going to complain,” Regulus replies, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
“Not yet, no guarantees though,” Harry replies, looking at Draco, who doesn’t say anything but gives him a small smile back. Regulus figures the two have gotten on good enough terms that leaving them to their own devices would be productive, Regulus reaching into his bag and pulling out the keys to his classroom.
“Here, then, if you’re so casual,” Regulus jokes, tossing Harry the keys, which he catches, “Just lock the room when you leave, and don’t lose that key.”
“When have I ever lost a key before?” Harry challenges, Regulus giving him a knowing look. “Ok, other than those couple of times.”
“Draco, make sure he doesn’t lose those keys,” Regulus tells him, pointing at Harry, “He got his object permanence from his dad.”
“Hey!” Harry complains, Draco laughing. Harry looks over at Draco in fake shock, “You’re supposed to be on my side!”
Draco shrugs, “What? When you’re funny I’ll laugh at you too.”
“Thanks for the challenge, maybe make it harder next time,” He teases, patting the desk next to him, “But if you want to laugh you might as well pull up a chair and stay a while.”
“Need those glasses mended, Potter? That’s a desk,” He quips back, Harry laughing and lightly grabbing Draco’s arm, dragging him over. Regulus stops collecting his three bags, knowing that probably was a bit invasive for Draco, who is not used to touch like Harry is.
“Hey, Harry, ask first before you grab someone,” Regulus advises, “Not everyone is touchy like you.”
“Oh, sorry, is it ok if I touch you?” Harry asks, Regulus smiling at the verbiage he picked up from his dad, who got it directly from Regulus.
Draco hesitates, glancing at Regulus before he nods, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, it’s ok.”
“Cool,” Harry smiles, “Sit then, up here, come on.”
Draco hesitates but still jumps up on the desk, sitting down next to Harry. Regulus is content with their friendliness and starts his way up to his office, calling to the two of them.
“I’ll see you on Monday, boys, don’t tear the room up too much,” Regulus calls, Draco waving at him, visibly very red.
“Bye Uncle Reg!” Harry calls, “We’ll be sure to put back all the things we break.”
Regulus laughs and shakes his head, going into his office. He hears the two of them talk as he shuts the door, happy they’re finally talking. Of course, they break the ice by relentlessly bickering, that is completely predictable for the two of them. But they recognized it as joking, acknowledged that they don’t hate each other, and are willing to cooperate without someone in between them. Regulus can’t help but be a little proud of his handiwork. He also kind of regrets it, because he feels like the two of them are going to turn into a mini James and Sirius.
He’ll have to check all of his books on Monday for glitter.
***
Since Regulus put Harry and Draco in a room and told them to get along, Regulus hasn’t heard much from either of them since. Draco has still been coming to him for help with work and to chat, but he hasn’t told him anything new about Umbridge that doesn’t directly have to do with Regulus. Regulus and Harry’s relationship has been really suffering with everything going on at home for both of them, so Harry hasn’t come to him for much more than to ask to get out of class or look for help. He sees him around, though, and that’s enough for Regulus right now.
Just like after almost every class, Draco comes up to his desk, Regulus smiling at him. “Hello dear, pull up a chair,” He encourages, not asking any questions. Draco pulls a chair up to Regulus’ desk, looking back until everyone is gone before he sits down in it. Regulus asks, “Do you need help with anything, dear? Or do you just want to talk?”
“Can you look at my Astronomy work?” He asks, “I don’t know, we’re doing something really complicated that I don’t understand at all, I don’t know.”
“What are you working on? Let me see, I promise I can help,” He assures him, Draco putting his bag on his lap and reaching into it, pulling out a collection of papers haphazardly shoved in there. with it, though falls out what looks like a galleon, sliding across the floor to under Regulus’ feet. Draco scrambles to lean down and look for it, Regulus reaching down beside him and picking it up, stopping from handing it to him when he feels how familiarly warm the coin is, looking on the edge of it to see a date engraved instead of a serial number. He smiles, handing back the coin.
“Wow, you’ve been inducted,” He jokes, “I didn’t know Harry would let you join, that’s very nice.”
“Well, you would know if you talked to him,” He quips back, snatching back the coin and shoving it in his bag. Regulus almost sputters processing it, Draco being protective of Harry. It’s very funny, and Regulus has a fight the urge to laugh at it.
“It’s good to see the two of you are close,” Regulus comments, “I knew you’d get along well.”
Draco shrugs, “We’re not that close.”
“My dear, if Harry has told you about his relationship with me you’re definitely at least a bit close,” Regulus points out.
“He- He just mentioned it,” Draco dismisses, “We’re not friends.”
Regulus looks at him skeptically, “Mmm, I have a feeling Harry sees you as friends, from what I’ve heard?’
“What have you heard?” Draco questions, confused.
“James was talking to me the other day, told me about how Harry had talked about you when he went home for break and told him about how you and him had all your spots and talked about things other than just information,” Regulus tells him, “He mentioned Harry was going on and on about how you and him were talking about Quidditch teams and he made you sit there as he described every team in the national league.”
Draco chuckles, “I didn’t get to sit, he dragged me around.”
“Oh, you cannot tell me he doesn’t see you as a friend, that is Harry’s favorite thing to do,” Regulus smiles, “He’s been doing that since he was little, dragging people around, he used to love to yell at us to come with him and pull us around the house to show us his little buildings and such. That’s a very warm gesture from Harry, he only does this to his friends and family.”
Draco flushes red looking down into his lap for a minute before sputtering out, “W-Whatever you say, Professor.”
Regulus just smiles back, hoping he helped ease some of Draco’s fears. He pauses a moment before asking, “So, I’ve only heard a bit about it, but how is Harry’s little group going?”
Draco leans back in the chair, looking away from Regulus and shrugging, his demeanor shifting from relaxed to uncomfortable. “Fine.”
“What do you do?” Regulus asks, pausing a second for an answer but continuing when he doesn’t get one, “I’m sure you’ve been-”
“Nothing,” Draco cuts him off, “I don’t know, I’ve only been to one.”
“Why?” Regulus inquires, trying to puzzle out what is so wrong with that question.
“Nothing, just haven’t made it,” He rushes out, Regulus looking at him skeptically. He contemplates asking a moment before continuing to press.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He presses, “I feel like something is bothering you.”
“Nothing, I just don’t make it,” He repeats, just as halfheartedly. Regulus lets the silence hang for a moment, Draco clearly not motivated to break it and tell him what’s wrong. So Regulus tries another way.
“Well, how was the one you went to?” Was it good?” He asks, “Did you learn anything?”
Draco shrugs, “It was fine.”
“Did you learn anything?”
“No.”
“Why?” Regulus asks, “I’m sure Harry is not the most consistent teacher, but he has to be doing something in there.”
“I just didn’t.”
“Why?”
Draco huffs, not saying anything and looking off from Regulus, clearly torn. Regulus lets him sit and think about it for a minute, waiting until he finally admits, “It’s hard to learn when no one wants you there.”
“Hm?” Regulus questions, “What happened, dear? Tell me, I’m listening.”
Draco keeps his eyes averted from Regulus, quietly telling him, “They just didn’t want me there, makes sense. I should’ve known that would happen.”
“But what happened? How did you know that?” Regulus calmly presses.
“Well, the two youngest Weasleys certainly weren’t subtle,” He spits out, “Ron spent all meeting subtly blaming me for everything we were learning, and then Ginny told me right to my face that no one wanted me to be there and all I was doing was making everyone uncomfortable. Not to mention all I got from everyone was dirty looks and Potter didn’t care to fix it.”
“I’m sorry, dear,” Regulus gives him a sad look, “It’s not easy trying to reverse everything that people think about you, especially because a lot of what you’re doing for Harry is secretive so not a lot of them understand you’re trying to help however you can. I know it’s not an excuse but Harry is not the most observant either, he probably didn’t even notice it was happening. It’s unfair, but I don’t want you to let them stop you from engaging in something you want to be in. If you keep proving you’ve changed they’ll notice, it’s going to take more than one encounter.”
“I’m not going again, Professor, you can’t convince me to,” He denies.
“I’m not trying to, I’m not saying you should go again but what they’re learning about I think is important, things you’re missing out on this year,” Regulus points out, “Why don’t you talk to Harry about it? Ask him about maybe teaching you something with just you, or to have a conversation with the group about it.”
“No,” He mumbles, “That’s weird.”
“It’s not weird, and I guarantee that Harry won’t think that either,” Regulus assures him.
Draco shakes his head, “We’re not that close.”
Regulus suppresses a sigh at the point he just countered with Draco, simply repeating, “Harry is not going to think that asking him that is anything weird or personal. The worst he will say is no.”
Draco grumbles to himself, clearly conflicted about it. Regulus thinks about how he could better fit this suggestion to his hesitancy, getting a stroke of genius trying to think back on how Draco communicates ‘weird’ things to him.
“If you don’t want to say it, why don’t you write a letter?” Regulus offers, “Just a little note, hand it to him after you two talk so you don’t have to say it? It doesn’t have to say much, just ask him about it.”
“Mmm,” He hums, unamused. He sits there silently for a minute before shrugging, saying, “Fine, I’ll try.”
Regulus smiles, “I promise you Harry is going to take it just fine, he’ll probably be more than happy to help you.”
“We’ll see,” Draco mumbles, glancing around the room before reaching into his bag and putting the Astronomy paper on the table, snappily asking, “Can you just help me, Professor?”
Regulus suppresses the urge to chuckle at the clear diversion Draco is trying to make, instead gently scolding him, “Try again, please, ask nicer and I’ll help.”
“Can you please help me?” Draco asks, still audibly annoyed, although Regulus can tell he’s just acting like it. Regulus smiles and nods anyway.
“Of course, let me see,” He says, looking through Draco’s work and beginning to puzzle out how he’s going to help him. Draco’s defensiveness doesn’t drop as Regulus asks him questions about what he doesn’t understand, but Regulus lets him slide. He’s pretty sure the other kids not liking him gets to him more than he’d like to admit, and as much as Regulus can suggest things he can’t make it go away. Draco is getting closer and closer to Harry, though, and he really is the catalyst to get close to anyone else in that group. It’ll happen one day, Draco will just have to be patient.
And hopefully, Regulus’ reminders that he’s doing the right thing aren’t drowned out by some, probably justifiably rude 15-year-olds.
***
“Alright, have a good weekend everyone, make sure to finish up that worksheet if you need to,” Regulus releases his Arithmancy class a few minutes early, keeping his eyes on Draco as he packs up and gets ready, hoping to catch his eye for a minute. He wasn’t here last time, which is really weird considering he went to both the class after and the class before, and he never misses Regulus’ class. He was also very spacey today, so Regulus really wants to ask him what’s wrong. He’s avoiding eye contact, though, so between goodbyes to students, Regulus walks up to him. Draco looks up, Regulus gesturing for him to come with him up to his desk, Draco silently nodding. He looks particularly tired from close up, his eyes a bit puffy too. Regulus simply walks back to his desk, giving his final few goodbyes before no one is left in the room but Draco, who makes his way up to Regulus’ desk.
“What?” He sharply asks, Regulus looking at him and frowning.
“I just want to talk to you,” He tells him, “Come sit, please.”
“Sorry,” Draco mumbles, sitting down in the chair in front of Regulus’ desk, putting down his bag before Regulus even says anything, a clear indication that he knows there’s something big to talk about. Regulus prepares himself for it, warmly smiling at him before asking.
“I just noticed you weren’t here last time, and I know you went to your other classes. I just want to make sure you’re ok, I’m not mad at all, you know I don’t mind if you miss class,” Regulus tells him, putting heavy emphasis on the fact that he isn’t mad about it. Draco just shrugs, not saying anything. “I don’t want to assume anything, dear, but I feel like something is wrong, it’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it but I’m listening if you do.”
Draco shrugs again, Regulus swearing he sees the glint of tears in his eyes, barely hearing him mumble, “Nothing.”
“I don’t think it’s nothing,” Regulus presses, Draco shrugging again. It takes him a minute, but eventually, he nearly whispers back.
“Harry tried to teach me to cast a patronus,” He admits, “That’s why I wasn’t here.”
“Oh, that’s great, how did it go?” Regulus asks, although he’s not hopeful.
“Horrible,” Draco grumbles, “I failed.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s a very difficult charm,” Regulus tries to reason, although Draco doesn’t listen.
“I could barely even get a shimmer out,” He snaps back, sitting up and crossing his arms, “Harry could cast a full body, completely developed patronus and I could barely do anything.”
Regulus nods, staying quiet for a moment to give Draco time to continue.
“I tried everything he said, put everything I had into it and I couldn’t do anything, it’s so stupid,” He huffs, shaking his head as Regulus confirms his suspicion as tears begin to pool in Draco’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” He apologizes again, thinking a moment before continuing, “What did you try? Which memories?”
Draco flushes red a bit, pressing his lips in a tight line and looking away from Regulus, shaking his head, “Nothing.”
“You don’t need to tell me all of them,” Regulus replies, “Just one or two, maybe I can help. I know I struggled with it too when I was your age, maybe I can help you understand what’s stopping you from casting it.”
“No, you can’t,” He clips back, shifting in his seat before replying, “It’s embarrassing.”
“I promise you that it’s not embarrassing,” Regulus assures him, pretty sure Draco doesn’t want to tell Regulus he uses memories of him, “If you want I’ll tell you a couple of the memories I’ve used, make it even.”
Draco doesn’t say anything, just shrugging and looking back at Regulus, clearly interested by the way his expression softens a bit. Regulus takes a minute to think about a few good, slightly embarrassing memories that he can tell Draco, even if he hasn’t actually used them for a patronus. He almost starts a story about Mrs. Potter but he stops himself, not wanting Draco to know about how close he was to her yet. He knows pieces, like she gifted him knitting needles, but explaining how she was a mother figure to him is too personal for right now. Instead, he starts with something less abnormal.
“In March of my Fifth Year Cynthia and I started dating. We were in a weird middle ground for a while, we both knew we fancied each other but we wouldn’t talk about it, well, I wouldn’t. But regardless, we got stuck in one of the Quidditch equipment closets looking for a snitch for me to practice with, Cynthia kicked out the door jam and it locked behind us. That was when we finally talked about it and started dating,” Regulus retells, “We were stuck in that stupid closet for another hour, it was horrible, but something good came out of it I guess.”
“I didn’t think those closets locked with you in them,” Draco questions, “I thought they didn’t intentionally.”
“Well, they do now, you can credit me for that,” Regulus laughs, “Actually, that’s Harry’s dad’s fault, he got us locked in one for 4 hours once, that was when they decided to remove the automatic locking on the doors.”
Draco chuckles a bit, Regulus continuing with another story he’s hoping is going to relax Draco enough to tell him what he’s thinking about.
“And then, when Harry was around 4 or so, he was obsessed with flying and for his birthday he wanted a real broom. He had a play one, one of the ones for toddlers, but that was not enough for him at all. He’d tell us over and over, ‘No no, not a kid one, a big boy one that goes super fast and high!’ and every time we’d watch Quidditch he’d point at the players and ask for their brooms. So, for Christmas that year Remus, Sirius, Cynthia, and I gave him the joint present of a real broom, one of the little ones meant for kids a few years older than him. His parents weren’t thrilled but he certainly was,” Regulus chuckles, shaking his head, “He opened it, it flew right into his hand, and he got on and took off right into the wall. Sirius was hysterical, he had to go outside he was laughing so hard. Harry didn’t find it nearly as funny, he was very mad at his dad for putting the wall there, actually.”
Draco laughs, his smile widening as he intently listens.
“And then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, he went outside with it and was flying around at the speed of light, and because that kid doesn’t learn he got distracted by something Sirius had brought out for him and slammed right into Sirius.”
“Are you sure that wasn’t intentional?” Draco asks, still laughing, “That feels like revenge for laughing.”
“I’ll never know, I guess, and he got the broom taken away until he could do flying lessons with his dad. Of course, once he did he was flying everywhere and no one could pry him off the broomstick,” Regulus tells him, “Don’t think he started out a natural at broom safety, he was flying into everyone and everything until he was about 8.”
“Good to know he came from humble beginnings,” Draco comments, Regulus immediately hit by the extremely Harry-like comment he just made.
“And you have been spending a lot of time with him, that sounded just like Harry,” Regulus points out, Draco flushing red but still smiling. Regulus lets the mood hang in the air a moment before asking, as casually as possible, “Now, dear, what memories did you use for your patronus?”
Draco immediately shuts down, smile fading and his face tensing up again, awkwardly shifting around as his eyes dance around the room. Finally, he shrugs and mutters out, “Just stuff with you, talking to Harry. I tried my parents but they didn’t even make sparks.”
Regulus nods, silently contemplating what to say first before asking, “What were you thinking about? What specifically? You can just pick one.”
Draco pauses a moment before replying, “When I was in here talking to Harry for the first time, after you left. We just talked for a while.”
“Mhm, it’s a very nice memory, getting to connect with someone else. The important part of casting a patronus is remembering how it felt, not just how it happened,” Regulus tells him, “When you’re casting it, are you thinking about how it felt or how it happened?”
Draco shrugs, “I don’t know, how it happened? I don’t know how it felt, we were just talking.”
“Why was it a happy memory?” Regulus questions, “What makes it happy?”
Draco shrugs again, blushing this time, “It- It just was.”
“You like talking to Harry, right?” Regulus asks, Draco nodding. “So it’s happy because you finally got to break the ice with him and really have a conversation, it was probably rewarding and relaxing, right?”
“Mhm,” He hums, clearly not completely listening.
“So when you try again, try to think of that feeling, rather than what happened,” Regulus suggests.
He huffs, “It doesn’t matter, I’m not doing it again.”
“Why?” Regulus asks, “I’m sure Harry will do it with you again.”
“That was embarrassing,” Draco emphasizes, eyes going glossy again, “It was so embarrassing, I- I’m not good enough to do that stupid charm and I did it in front of Harry, who- who probably thinks I’m so stupid for it. I’m such a better wizard than him and he saw me struggle for an hour and give up like a baby and I know he told me it was fine but it wasn’t and that’s embarrassing and- and why couldn’t I do it?”
Draco hangs his head, Regulus hearing him start to hiccup to himself. Regulus is positive this has nothing to do with Draco getting outperformed and instead has everything to do with him having to not only admit to himself but also to Harry that he isn’t happy. He wasn’t ready for that, and Regulus feels his stomach twist in guilt hearing him cry. Regulus comes around his desk and pulls up a chair, sitting down next to Draco. He doesn’t even have to ask, Draco moving towards him and letting Regulus pull him into a hug. Regulus is shocked, his stomach twisting even more. This is making him completely weak, as he just sobs against Regulus in a way he hasn’t since he was 12 or 13. There’s a desperation in it, too, one Regulus can’t put his finger on why he knows it’s there but one he feels nonetheless. Maybe it’s because he knows what it feels like to be where Draco is, or maybe it’s his years of teaching, or maybe it’s just a gut feeling, but something makes him hold on a bit tighter.
Draco progressively calms himself down, although he’s still sobbing a few minutes later he’s grasping on less desperately than before. Although, of course, right as Regulus starts to feel like he’ll calm down he hears the door open, Regulus knowing who it is before he even looks over when they’re already calling into the room.
“Uncle Reg, have you-” Harry stops when he sees Draco, who looks over wide-eyed before frantically wiping away tears, trying to make himself look put together. Harry, however, gives him a warm, comforting smile that makes him look just like James. “Hey I was just looking for you, are you ok?” He asks as he shuts the door.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Draco defensively brushes him off crossing his arms, “I’m just talking to Professor Black, I’m fine.”
“Harry, why don’t you come back in a bit? And knock first, please,” Regulus says, Harry shaking his head.
“No, I want to know if Draco is ok,” Harry annoyedly brushes him off, looking back at Draco, tone softening, “I was looking for you to ask if you want to do a lesson like the other day again? I meant to ask you yesterday but I couldn’t find you. Well, I didn’t look that hard, but that was yesterday. So, do you?”
“Uh, yeah, I don’t know,” Draco rushes out, “Sure, if you want.”
“Great, that’s awesome, yeah,” Harry nods, hesitating a second before offering, “You look really sad, do you want a hug?”
Draco’s face lights up red, all the way up to the tips of his ears, quickly and awkwardly nodding. Harry walks into the room and up to him, Draco standing up and letting Harry pull him into a hug. Draco barely reciprocates it, clearly trying to avoid touching Harry at all, although Harry’s hug is clearly full of love and care anyway. Draco doesn’t even hold on a second, pulling back almost immediately and putting his hands behind his back, fiddling with his hands. Draco glances back at Regulus pleadingly, clearly asking him to kick Harry out. Regulus smiles at him and looks back to Harry.
“You can come back in later, bud, but Draco and I were talking,” Regulus tells him, Harry furrowing his brow at him. He looks back at Draco, analyzing him a moment before nodding.
“Ok, bye Draco, come find me later and we can talk about another meeting,” Harry waves at him, smiling. Draco waves back, Harry walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him, Regulus flicking a hand in the direction of the door to lock it. Draco lets out a very shaky sigh and sits back down, not facing Regulus.
“Sorry, dear, I should’ve locked the door,” Regulus apologizes, recoiling a bit when Draco looks up at him frantically.
“I can’t believe he saw that! He- He’s going to tell all his friends about the fact that I’m sitting here crying with you and they’re going to spread it all around the school and it’s going to find its way to my friends and my parents and- he’s going to ruin everything. It’s not even that big of a deal and I ruined everything over it-” Draco starts to spiral, Regulus interrupting him.
“Hey, hold on, take a deep breath,” Regulus advises. Draco shakes his head and goes to argue, but Regulus stops him again. “No, take a deep breath first, and then we can talk about it,” He maintains, getting Draco to take a deep breath in, a few tears sliding down his face on the exhale. “Alright, I don’t think Harry would ever do that to you. He’s not the nicest, I know, but he knows better than to villainize someone for simply being upset. He immediately went to comfort you, and I know that you do but Harry doesn’t see being upset as a negative thing or something to be ashamed of because he never has needed to be. He’s not going to use it against you, I can completely guarantee you that. Harry cares about you, I’ve told you this before but now I really believe it, he does.”
Draco nods, not looking at Regulus and sitting there silently a moment before abruptly picking up his bag and standing up.
“I have to go,” He mutters, beginning to walk out of the room, “Bye, Professor.”
“Hold on,” Regulus stops him, Draco stopping and turning back to face him, tears still running down his face. “Are you sure you’re ok, dear?”
“I’m fine,” He sharply replies, “I’m fine, Professor.”
Regulus contemplates pushing further but decides against it, just nodding, “Alright, if you need anything else remember I’m always here. Have a good day, Draco.”
“You too,” Draco quietly replies, walking out of the room and shutting the door behind himself. Regulus curses at himself for letting him just walk away, but he knew keeping him would do more harm than good. He was just so upset, and he hopes, in some strange coincidence, he runs into Harry and he can help. Of course, that probably won’t happen and Draco will instead hide somewhere to cry instead of talking to someone, but he can’t win every time.
As long as something gets through to him someday, he’ll have done enough.
***
Regulus looks up from the letters he’s working on when he hears the door crack open, surprisingly not revealing a Seventh Year skipping graduation rehearsal. Instead, it’s just Draco, standing very sheepishly at his door. He hasn’t really spoken to Regulus a lot since the patronus incident. Although, it hasn’t seemed malicious, he’s just been shyer than normal, but when Regulus initiates conversation he interacts with him just fine. This past week he’s been a little short, but Regulus chalks that up to stress over everything with Lucius. Regardless, Regulus is surprised Draco seeked him out.
“Hello,” Regulus warmly greets, “Come in, I’m not busy. Just writing some letters to my Seventh Years.”
Draco shuts the door behind himself and walks into the room, Regulus getting a good look at how tired he looks. He stops to stand awkwardly in the middle of the aisle before quietly admitting, “I just wanted to say goodbye, you know, for the summer.”
Regulus smiles, getting up and walking around his desk to stand in front of it, although he doesn’t move any closer to Draco. He lets him decide the gap between the two of them, Regulus saying, “Thank you, dear, you caught me at a good time because I’m leaving in an hour. Are you packed up yet?”
Draco shakes his head, “No, no, not yet. I’m doing it tomorrow.”
“Mhm, I finished up yesterday, packing up everything in my quarters and such,” Regulus replies, Draco nodding and looking down for a minute, Regulus letting the silence sit until Draco’s awkward and rushed voice breaks it.
“How is Cynthia?” He asks, head snapping up to look at Regulus, “How is she doing?”
Regulus is slightly taken aback by the question but he recovers quickly, smiling and partially lying, “She’s doing alright, she’s better. She’s still in the hospital but we’re just taking it day by day.”
Draco nods, hesitating before asking, “Are you doing anything this summer?”
“Not really, I’m seeing my family soon, one of my cousins has a new baby that everyone is meeting. I’ve met him already but I’ll get to see everyone,” Regulus tells him, well-trained from his interaction with his Seventh Years earlier today when he had to talk about his summer, “Other than that probably just relax, this year was enough action for a lifetime for me.”
Draco chuckles, although it’s mostly hollow. Another pause before he asks again, “How is Sirius?”
Unsure of how much Draco knows about the battle, Regulus carefully answers, “He’s doing ok, yeah.”
“I heard he got hurt,” Draco says, answering Regulus’ unspoken question.
“Yeah, he got a pretty bad concussion, I was just with him yesterday. He’s back home recovering, he should be perfectly fine in a couple of months, though,” Regulus assures him, “I’m sure in a few months he’ll be back to the way he was, unfortunately.”
Draco really laughs this time, not a hollow, empty mimic of one. It doesn’t quell any of Regulus’ fears about him though, Regulus deciding his best bet is to just ask.
“So, dear, how have you been? How are you feeling about going home for the summer?”
Draco immediately tenses up, holding his hands behind his back and awkwardly looking around the room. “I-I don’t know,” He shrugs, “I’m fine.”
Regulus looks at him skeptically, pulling up a couple of chairs to the front of his desk and sitting down in one, gesturing to the other, “Come sit, let’s talk.”
“No, no it’s fine,” Draco shakes his head, “You have to go soon.”
“In an hour,” Regulus assures him, “I have plenty of time, and even then it’s still early. Come sit, please.”
Draco just nods this time, walking up and sitting down in the chair facing Regulus. He doesn’t look at him, though.
“What are you worried about?” He asks, “Anything in particular?”
Draco shrugs, frowning, “I just- I don’t know, I just had a good year. I don’t want things to, I don’t know, end.”
“Mhm, but I promise everything will be here for you next year,” Regulus assures him, “Nothing here is going to drastically change.”
“No, no, I know that,” Draco dismisses him, stammering, “I- I just- I don’t- Maybe I- I just am going to miss it is all.”
Regulus looks at him suspiciously, concerned about what he’s dancing around saying. He tries a different angle, “Mhm, I know you’re worried I’m sure things will be the same when you come back. You can always send letters too, even if we can’t reply. I'm sure Harry would love to hear from you, as would I.”
“Harry doesn’t want to hear from me,” Draco argues.
“Of course he does,” Regulus replies, confused, “Why wouldn’t he?”
“No,” Draco crosses his arms, “He doesn’t.”
“Have you talked to him? Do you know he doesn’t?” Regulus questions.
“No,” Draco huffs, “He doesn’t want to talk to me, Professor.”
“You’re assuming that my dear,” Regulus points out, “You don’t know he doesn’t.”
“Yes I do,” Draco replies, anger rising.
“How do you-”
“My father is a fucking Death Eater is why! He’s locked up for trying to kill him! I don’t even know why you want to talk to me!” Draco outbursts, eyes lighting up with anger, “I’m trying to spare him the burden of having to tell me himself. Everything is fine, I’m fine, no I’m not talking to Harry, and I’m trying to civilly say goodbye to you and you’re not letting me!”
Draco gets up to leave, Regulus absolutely not letting that happen. “Draco,” He tries to stop him, but it’s not firm enough. He repeats it again, louder and much firmer this time, “Draco.”
Draco stops dead, looking back at him with a weird mix of anger and fear on his face. Regulus beckons him back, calmly speaking this time.
“Come sit, please, I need to ask you something,” He requests, Draco hesitantly walking back and sitting down in his chair. He scoots the chair back a bit, sitting in it with his back straight but his head low, not looking up at Regulus. Regulus continues regardless, pushing the worry out of his voice when he seriously asks, “I need you to tell me the truth, dear. Are you safe at home?”
Draco sits there still for a moment before looking up at Regulus, face screwed with aggression. “Why would you even ask me that?” He quietly but angrily asks.
“I understand it’s not an easy thing to think about but I need you to tell me,” Regulus repeats, “I just want to keep you safe, my dear.”
Draco huffs, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, shaking his head and annoyedly replying, “I don’t know, things are fine. I’m sure your family would be in disarray too if your dad got locked up.”
“What does disarray mean?” Regulus presses, although Draco is clearly completely shut off.
“Why the hell do you care so much?” He challenges, sitting up so he’s looking right at Regulus. “What the hell are you gonna do about it?”
“I’m here to help, dear, I want to know what’s going on and help you through it. You’re right, I have no idea what’s going on and how it feels, but I need you to tell me so I can understand what I can do to help you,” Regulus tells him.
“Ok, sure, but I’m at home. If something was somehow going on at home, how the hell are you stopping it?” Draco keeps pushing, Regulus looking at him for a moment and feeling the overwhelming feeling that this is the right moment. He needs to offer Draco leaving now before anything gets any worse.
“I can’t stop it, you’re right, but I can get you away from it,” Regulus tells him, “Do you remember way back in your Second Year, I was telling you about how I understood what you were feeling and how I had been there before?”
Draco slowly nods, not saying anything.
“And you know that I moved in with Harry’s dad and grandparents, right?”
“Mhm,” Draco hums, “Why is this important?”
“Hold on, I’m telling you, dear,” Regulus stops him, “I have one more question, did you ever meet your Aunt Walburga or your Uncle Orion?”
Draco nods, “Yeah, a couple of times, when I was little.”
“Mhm, ok,” Regulus pauses a moment, contemplating how he’s going to continue before telling him, “I’m going to tell you this as your family member, not as your professor, ok? I wouldn’t tell this story in this much detail to anyone but you, and I’m trusting you to respect that and be mature about it. Does that make sense?”
Draco nods again, expression softening a bit as he seems to understand the importance of what Regulus is telling him. “I understand,” He tells him, Regulus smiling and nodding. He takes a deep breath, giving himself a moment to think before he starts to tell the story to Draco.
“I don’t know how much you remember from them but those are mine and Sirius’ parents,” Regulus tells him, Draco looking at him in slight shock. Regulus chuckles, “You didn’t know?”
“No, I didn’t,” He shakes his head, “I guess it makes sense but I didn’t know they had kids. Aunt Walburga always said she didn’t.”
“Mhm, of course she did, to her Sirius and I were not her sons anymore,” Regulus nods, “My parents, they were- they were not great people, they were the purest form of a pureblood parent you could find. Sirius and I were expected to be absolutely perfect all the time, have the perfect mindset, always say the perfect thing, never show anything that was deemed undesirable of a Black family heir. We were very often abused, both of them were no strangers to hurting their kids to get what they wanted. I don’t know if you remember when she was alive but your Aunt Walburga ran the family, she was the head of the Black family all the way up until she died. My mother was a very calculated, very scary woman who was extremely apt in dark magic, and Sirius and I were nothing like what she wanted. Sirius was an outspoken, loud Gryffindor who argued with her at any corner, and I was a very passive and nervous kid who hid behind him constantly. We needed to be the perfect pureblood kids, both of us, and when Sirius dropped the ball and got into Gryffindor things just got worse. She truly despised us, but it wasn’t until the summer of my Fifth Year that it ever became a real safety problem.”
Draco silently listens to him, seemingly very attentive to what Regulus is telling him.
“I don’t remember the details, but an argument between my mother and Sirius got particularly heated and she ended up kicking him out. My mother didn’t boast, she meant what she said, and Sirius was forced to pack up all his stuff. I can’t really remember how it happened, but he had me come with him, and my mother was furious that Sirius took me with him. She let us go, though, because she had no real attachment to us. We were essentially homeless, and Sirius brought us to James’, Harry’s dad’s house. I didn’t know them at all, I barely knew James at the time, nothing more than a couple of interactions, and I didn’t know his parents at all. Regardless, his parents treated Sirius and me like we had been their sons forever, and it was so refreshing to finally be cared about and love being home for the first time. It’s why Harry calls Sirius and me uncle, it’s because we were essentially James’ brothers, and anyone who knew the three of us when we lived at home would call us that. I know how unrealistic it feels, to run away, because it’s so much unfathomable change that you can’t even picture. But I was really fortunate to have the circumstances in front of me to do that, and I want you to know that you have them too. I’m here, and I always will be here. You always have a home with me, dear.”
Draco stares at him for a very long moment, clearly trying to process everything Regulus just said. He looks very conflicted, Regulus almost holding his breath until Draco replies, Regulus’ heart sinking when he shakes his head. “No, I can’t.”
“Draco-”
“No, no I can’t,” He denies again, “I can’t, I can’t leave my mum alone, my father just got arrested and things aren’t even that bad. It’s fine, I’m fine where I am and I don’t need an out. I can handle it.”
“But you don’t have to,” Regulus tries to argue, although Draco has seemingly already made up his mind.
“No,” He shakes his head, “I’m fine, Professor. Thank you but- but I’m fine.”
Regulus nods, ignoring the looming feeling of failure over his head as he grabs a piece of protected note paper off his desk and writes down the address to his floo, handing it to Draco. “If you ever need it, you’re always welcome. You’re warded into my floo, you can come through it whenever. I’ll be there, and if I’m not there I’ll come back. My life has been hectic recently but it’s never going to be too busy for you, Draco dear.”
“Professor I- I don’t think- giving me this isn’t a good idea,” Draco holds the paper as if it’s poison, keeping it held out between his index and thumb. “I can’t take it.”
“I want you to,” Regulus emphasizes, “I trust you, and I want you to keep that.”
Draco stares at him in awe for a minute before dropping his hand into his lap and looking down at it. Regulus smiles at him, watching as Draco looks down at the paper before folding it up and tucking it into his pocket, looking back at Regulus. “Uh,” Draco casts his eyes back into his lap, wordlessly stuttering before quietly saying, “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Regulus warmly replies, Draco not looking up. His eyes stay down, but regardless Regulus can see how torn he is in the way he slouches in on himself, face twisted into something between sadness and confusion. Regulus stays quiet, letting Draco work it all out on his own. Ultimately, as much as he really wants to grill him until he says yes, Regulus knows that this is his choice. The years have dulled it, but it was a lie to say the transition was easy for him. He’s sure if he asked Sirius, the choice wasn’t easy either.
Draco sits up after a long minute spent looking into his lap, blank expression almost twitching to turn back to a frown. Quietly but steadily, Draco tells him, “I’ll see you next year, Professor.”
Regulus nods despite how much that sentence breaks his heart. He opens his mouth to reply but stops, carefully contemplating what to say next before settling on simply telling him, “I’ll always be here, never forget that.”
Draco nods, pausing as he looks around the room a minute before he replies, much weaker this time, “I won’t.”
“That’s all I ask,” Regulus smiles, beckoning him closer. Draco moves his chair right in front of Regulus, Regulus drawing him into a hug. Regulus holds on tight, wishing he could just never let go of him. He so badly wants to just turn back time and fix it. Maybe if he had been more nurturing or told him about it sooner he would have said yes, and he could have been safe. But he didn’t, and now he’s here, hoping the same kid he knows now comes back next fall. He doesn’t know, and he’s had enough of that this year for a lifetime.
Draco lets go first, Regulus hating how he barely lets the hug last a few seconds. His eyes are glassy, but he barely gives Regulus any time to take it in. He just gets up and waves back at Regulus, absently saying, “Have a good summer, Professor.”
“You too, my dear,” Regulus answers as he gets up, not able to say anything else as Draco just turns around and leaves. The moment the door closes Regulus flops back down in the chair and takes his glasses off, putting his head in his hands. He failed. 5 years of constantly trying to show Draco how bad things are for him and how it’s not the only answer and he dropped the ball on the one thing that was going to keep him safe. He’s never getting this chance back again and he just let Draco walk out the door like he never offered anything. He only lets the sinking feeling of not being enough sit for a moment before he gets up and pushes it away.
It doesn’t matter anymore, it’s over, and if he’s learned anything from this year it’s that he does not have the time for wallowing. All it does is make things worse.
So he tucks this experience away, into some recess of his mind he won’t touch until next year, and he just sits back down at his desk. He has letters to write. He’s got all of this summer to work out his plan for next year, he doesn’t need to start now. All he can hope is that things aren’t too irredeemable next year, and maybe if he’s lucky he’ll get a second try at this.
He won’t mess up that one, that’s for sure.