“Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one tribute may be crowned as victor. May the odds be ever in your favour” Slughorn’s voice booms overhead.
And just like that Regulus feels his heart drop to the bottom of his feet.
He had hope – so much hope – for the first time in his life, and it just burned to ashes.
One of them has to die.
Regulus had worked so fuckign hard trying to get the both of them home but nooo, why must he be granted a single good thing in his life.
Every good thing in his life is always taken away, first Sirius the Evan and now James, the only person who truly likes Regulus just for being him, not under any kind of obligation.
Regulus is startled out of his thoughts by a light touch on his shoulder. He looks up to see James staring at him.
Instinctively Regulus’ hand tightens around his dagger, a movement James immediately catches on.
A sad small smile forms on his lips, “Do it” he says, so Regulus raises his dagger, even though everything in his body screams up in protest, bringing it up and preparing to bury it inside James’ chest in one quick thrust to have it hurt as less as possible.
He is about to but he notices James’ expression.
It’s so peaceful.
James is standing, his eyes closed and his features resting though the small smile is still on his face. His hatchet lies on the ground and Regulus doesn’t even know when he dropped it.
James looks like a fallen angel, silently, patiently waiting for Regulus, not urging him on, letting him take his time while he himself waits.
That seems to be a recurring pattern in James’ life.
He waited for Sirius to get better, he helped Sirius get better even when he refused help, even when Regulus couldn’t.
James waited for Regulus, he loved him silently, not making any indication of it for ten years, not even telling Sirius.
Now he waits for his death knowing it’ll be from the hands of the boy he loves, and yet he waits patiently.
Regulus can’t.
He can’t when James has submitted himself to him.
Regulus said he wouldn’t hesitate but after days of sleeping next to James and taking care of him? He is hesitating.
“Fight me” Regulus orders, hoping that he’ll be able to go through with killing James without hesitating if they were fighting.
“No.” James says, like it’s the most simple thing in the world, except that it isn’t.
“No?”
“I’m not fighting you”
“Why?”
Why the fuck won’t he fight him? Does he not have anything to live for?
He does. He has more to live for than Regulus ever will.
James takes a deep breath and Regulus braces himself because he knows that he’s not about to like what James is going to say. “Because I came into this arena knowing that I'll get you out, I trained knowing I was training for you not me, I listened to Sirius so when it comes to it I could help you. All through this, I've been in this for you.”
And suddenly Regulus is back to the day he found James and nursed him back to health.
“Sirius, I promised. I'm still—I'm gonna do it. I'll get him home, okay? I'll make sure Regulus gets home. Whatever it takes.”
He meant it then.
James had fucking meant it but Regulus had thought that it was the drugs.
James has put distance between both of them, though not much, now standing in front of him, barely five metres (15 foot i think) between the both of them and he’s still waiting.
Once again Regulus raises his dagger and imagines throwing it straight to his chest, the images running through his head alone cause tears to rise up to his eyes and the dagger clatters to the ground.
Regulus looks up at James with tears in his eyes, “i can’t James, i can’t”
"Because I will, if I have to. I'm not going to spare his life and sacrifice my own just because he matters to you. I might not go out of my way to kill him, but if that's what it comes to, Sirius, I won't hesitate."
Now not only is he hesitating, he just can’t.
“It’s okay” James reassures him, as he reaches down to his belt, seemingly trying to find something.
Once he’s found it, he wraps his hand around it tightly so Regulus can’t see it.
“James, what are you doing?” asks Regulus.
He’s starting to get a really bad feeling. He wants to reach out and wrap his arms around James because he feels like he’s going to lose him.
“Regulus, you deserve so much love, more than all that there is and know that I hope that one day you find someone who gives it to you, openly and that I am so so sorry that I wasn’t able to be the one to be the one to give it to you. Find someone who deserves you, find someone who cherishes you, find someone who loves you in all the ways i couldn’t, in all the ways i wasn’t enough to. And if you don’t know that you will forever hold at least one heart in your hands, whether you like it or not, mine”
And then, before Regulus has time to react, James tilts his head upwards and whispers “I love you”.
Something in Regulus tells him that the ‘i love you’ wasn’t just meant for him.
And then he’s closing his eyes and bringing up his hand.
Regulus catches a flash of bright green and it takes a moment for Regulus brain to catch up, a moment too late, because by the time he realises what James is doing, he has already brought the vial to his lips and is now downing it in one quick sip.
The vial clatters to the ground and maybe it breaks, maybe it doesn’t. Regulus doesn’t know because he’s too busy staring at James as his body collapses to the ground and for even less than four seconds the most guttural scream rips through his throat before it stops altogether.
In an instant Regulus is beside him, trying to find his pulse as tears run freely down his cheeks. He knows it’s futile, but he just wants to check because maybe, maybe, maybe.
James isn’t someone who should have died, he’s one of those people who deserve to live forever painlessly and peacefully.
As Regulus lays his head on James’ chest, he hates how hollow it feels, and as hard sobs rake through his body Regulus realises one thing; James waited in love, but Regulus? Regulus stayed in love because he is sure he has never felt any kind of physical or mental pain worse than this in his entire life. Even when Walburga burned his hands on the stove, he didn’t feel what he’s feeling now.
Regulus is sure that he’ll never experience pain like this ever again in his life.
That is if he ever even feels again.
★⋆☀︎︎⋆★
Sirius knew what James was going to do the moment he saw his hand reach his belt and circle around the vial.
Every single day he mentally prepared himself for James’ death but if he were being honest with himself, he knew that nothing could prepare him for the death of his best friend.
And then he had hope. The past few days he has been on a high knowing that James and Regulus could both make it home.
And then it was all snatched away from him, because the Hallow is Hollow.
Their hearts are hollow and all they truly want is a show, a show which involves lives being lost. Innocent lives, young lives.
As James brings the vial to his lips, Sirius runs to the television screaming t\at the top of his lungs, trying to stop him, but he can’t.
He watches James’ body crumble to the ground, Sirius just wants to reach him. He just wants to fucking touch James.
One last time.
★⋆☀︎︎⋆★
Sirius is pounding his fists on the screen so despite his own tears, he moves over to Sirius and tries to pull him backwards.
At first he fights, but when he realises that James is actually dead, he just falls into Remus’ arms without complaint.
Remus thought that he had seen people in distress but no, he has never seen anyone in distress the way he’s seeing Sirius right now.
He’s screaming and sobbing like someone reaches into his chest and tore his heart apart. He’s screaming like he’s in the worst physical pain.
And Remus understands, he does, because if it were Lily over there he knows he wouldn’t be any better.
★⋆☀︎︎⋆★
When the rule change was first announced Euphemia had been over the moon.
It was hard seeing James and Regulus on the screen everyday and seeing how determined Regulus was on getting back and that James was helping him.
Knowing that she was sure that she was never going to hold her son ever again, she tried to come to terms with it but she couldn’t.
So at that point she was watching just to see her son, maybe for the last time.
And then the rule change was announced.
It seemed like all hope had returned.
She and Fleamont would sit down everyday and watch them both navigate through the arena, trying to make their way home.
When they were both the last ones standing, she could’ve sworn that she had never felt happiness better than she did at that moment.
And then the rules changed again
"I will fight. But, when it's the end, and it's me and him… I won't fight him."
She gripped Fleamont’s hand tightly, she knew what was going to come but that didn’t stop the pain that she felt as James fell to the ground.
She knows that anything that she does or will do would be useless right now.
She can’t help but think back to little memories of her holding James and then years later, him holding her.
She can’t help but think of the way the left side of James’ collar would always be upturned whenever he wore a dress shirt.
She can’t help but think of the way James would help her with baking in her kitchen, how he’d always be shirtless while cooking.
She can’t help but think of the way something that he learned just to help his parents ended up being the something he used as a survival technique.
She can’t help but think of his sad eyes when he told them that he isn’t going in there to fight for himself, that he wouldn’t be making it home
He had been sure but she had had hope, because that’s what helped her in the arena.
And that's what destroyed her in life.
★⋆☀︎︎⋆★
While Euphemia was closer to Sirius, while Fleamont was closer to James.
Effie often joked that James was just a reborn Fleamont, and to some extent it was true. They just had to look in the eyes of one another to start laughing at something only they would understand.
Which meant that Fleamont knew from the start how he felt for Regulus. He knew when James would go to Regulus while Sirius was in the arena and sometimes even after, he would go happy and optimistic that maybe this time he wouldn’t be pushed away. And every time he’d come home Fleamont would see the heartbreak behind his eyes.
The moment his name was called Fleamont saw the determination in James’ eyes and he knew, he just didn’t want to believe it.
When James walked onto the stage for his interview, Fleamont saw his anxiety seeping through his smile creases and dimples, he saw how worried James truly was.
And then after Regulus kissed James, he saw the pure heartbreak in James’ eyes.
Knowing him this well, he knew the moment James’ hand wrapped around the bottle, he knew what was going to happen but he knew he had to be strong for Euphemia so he sat and he waited for her to get it and he knew that he’d hold her right now and cry alone later.
James had always been the strong one in the household whether it was Euphemia needing help, Fleamont or Sirius he was always there for them, but never for himself.
And now, Fleamont just wishes that he had held him more.
Finish (i’m sorry :D)