James turned off the radio that was playing a song he had never heard before. It was something about skies falling and some other dramatic bullshit. It was good he had concluded, just a tad too melancholic for the beautiful day they were having outside.
As he locked the car and took out the bags of produce he had bought at the farmer’s market a few hours earlier, James couldn’t help but think how lucky he had gotten. He had a loving wife and a beautiful home that would be nothing but an empty space had they not filled it with love and safety.
The door was pushed open by one of his feet and the floorboards creaked as James carefully stepped around the plant, y/n had yelled at him many times before for breaking. She was in the kitchen, James guessed and sure enough, the heavenly smell of one of y/n’s many divine home-cooked meals was floating around the brightly-lit space. After he entered the kitchen and placed the bags on the counter, his arms immediately found their way around his beautiful wife’s waist. She turned her head around to bury it in his neck and the soft hair on her head brushed lightly, like rose petals, against his skin. After the many turbulent years of their high school love and the obstacles they had been through all throughout college, James was reminded every day of how much he loved y/n.
He loved everything about her. The way her hair would be all wonky in the mornings, the way she sometimes left the toothpaste bottle open and then apologized profusely about it, the way she seemed to leave notes of her perfume everywhere she went. That meant that when he went to work, he would sometimes be able to smell notes of vanilla on his collared shirt. He loved the way she laughed, even if he knew it was one of her biggest insecurities. James loved the way her arms would hold on tightly to his waist when they hugged after a long day of being apart.
He loved having her around him at all times. Even on her bad days. By the way, her head stayed tucked into his shoulder for a second too long, he knew. Today was one of the bad days. So he held on to y/n tighter. James let her let go of the wooden spoon she was using to stir the delicious-looking dinner and did it himself instead. Y/n took the invitation and turned her body around, quite literally gluing herself to her husband.
James had no idea what had happened. And some days nothing happened. And she would still be sad. And that was okay. James would do whatever she needed him to do. Whether that was to talk through it, just cuddle, or let her cry in his arms. He would do anything for her.
James hated seeing her sad. It pulled his heart apart, knowing there was nothing he could do but just be there. And that’s what he did. They stayed like that for a long time. The cooking was done. And still, they stayed like that. She cried. A lot. And he just held her tighter. Just like she did when he was sad. They held each other up when all the other could do was crumble, break, shatter. And then they would pick up the pieces together.
“Hey, love.” James said when he felt like his wife was calm enough to respond “Do you want to talk?”
Y/n just shook her head and the tears pricked at her eyes again. What James would give to take the tears away and never give them back. “No, I’m sorry. It’s stupid.”
James’ brows drew together in concern “Hey. You know we don’t do that. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” His voice was soft. Not with pity or guilt. Just soft. Like a blanket fort on a rainy night. Like a sunset after a tiring day. Like a flame burning despite the wind.
Y/n buried her head into his chest again and sobbed into his shirt, the tears leaving wet patches on the red cloth, but James couldn’t care less about his clothes right now. All he could do was think about the strong woman, whom he loved so dearly, that was clearly distraught. The woman that deserved the world, but would never admit it. The woman that made his days bearable.
James began shifting his weight around and y/n took the hint and they slowly started moving towards the couch in the living room. It was their routine. One they had grown into as the years went by. One that had gotten them to where they are now. Two souls that know each other better than themselves.
As soon as they hit the couch, James’ strong arms were around his wife in an instant. Letting her get comfortable and then just stroking her hair and mumbling about how his day had gone. Then he talked about random memories that popped up in his head from their school years. Like the time Sirius had gotten drunk and broken at least two tables because he wanted to know what it was like to fly. Or the time when Lily had made out with Mary and Peter had choked on his wine until it came out of his nose. Or their first kiss, on the beach, after the party they went to as friends and came back from as soulmates.
With each story, he felt y/n relax more and more in his arms. The sobs had stopped now and all that was left was her hands which were extremely cold, still trembling from time to time.
So he went on.
He told her about this rude new colleague he had. Tom. Tom who had used the brainstorming board to make fun of his new character. And his publisher, Amy who had congratulated him on a job well done. The one they went to college with. And then he told her all about the new movie that would be coming out in theaters. They asked her if she wanted to go see it. Y/n didn’t answer. And he hadn’t expected one. He didn’t need one.
Y/n was now relaxed and just as James knew, when she was ready, she would stand up and talk to her. She was stronger than any other person he knew, but she didn’t have to be around him. If she needed to break, to let it swallow her, he would be there. Making sure that if she couldn’t pull herself up, he would gladly jump and do it for her. She always did though. And he was so proud of her for that.
“I’m…” Y/n started and James’ heart broke into a million pieces at the way her voice sounded. So hurt and tired. “Nothing happened. I just – I thought about time. And how it’s passing. And it just – I just – I couldn’t handle it, Jamie.”
James looked at her for a few seconds, reading the way her face contorted into all of these different emotions. He felt grateful that she felt comfortable enough to be so vulnerable around him. “What exactly scares you, love?” He asked softly and took her hands into his, cradling them gently, as if they were the most precious things to ever grace this Earth.
There was a tantalizing silence. The one before you hear big news, the one before a storm, the one before you open the door to the cold winter air. An anxious awaiting, but an unavoidable one as well. Then y/n spoke “I’m scared of it passing me by. I feel like I’m missing it all. And one day – one day – I will wake up and you’ll be gone – I will – and everything will be just a memory. And I can’t help but feel this goddamn awful feeling that I’m going to – I guess – end up all alone.” She was rambling and her hands would be shaking by now if they weren’t firmly squeezed by James’. “Again.” Y/n added and it was so quiet, so scared that James couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed how much any of this had been bothering her. Had she thought this way last night as they went to bed? Or was it even before that? When they went to the grocery store last Thursday? It didn’t matter.
“Y/n, listen to me okay, love?” James let go of one of her hands and placed his palm against her cheek. There were tear stains on it and James resisted the urge to wipe them away. He felt y/n’s head tilt softly into his palm and his heart fluttered, the same way it did while looking in her eyes at that beach. “You will never be alone. Remember the vows we made? I will always be with you. In life, and in death. No matter what that gorgeous head of yours tells you, you are not wasting your life, time is moving, yes, but that’s what it’s supposed to do.” He felt the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes and saw the tremble of y/n’s lips.
“We’re supposed to move with it. Experience it. And we are. Are we not?” Y/n nodded slightly a single tear falling from her eyes. “Love, we are in this together. I will never leave you. I cannot, even if I try to. You have my whole heart y/n. And I promise you, I will always be here. Holding you, crying with you, and trying my best to show you how much you deserve.”
They were both crying now. Because what y/n had said was true, James realized. Time was passing by. And after a very long time, one of them will be left on this earth without the other. But he had meant everything he said. He would always be there. Not even Death herself could keep him from his love.
“C’mere.” He said and y/n fell back into his arms, crying through the smile that was etched onto her face. At least she was crying out of love now.
And they both held each other for the rest of the night. Dinner was forgotten. The groceries were still on the counter when they woke up the next morning. But they just held each other.
Because time was precious. And fleeting. And they were both so happy they get to live however long was left of it with their soulmate.