~~~~Obviously a Snape / Charlie ship is called Snarlie~~~~~
Severus had never been one much for brooms - but as ever, his partner required the token effort.
“Ready,” he answered, sucking in his gut and trying to look like anything but an over-fed găluşcă . Their excessive lunch worked against his favor, though, and his belly remained resolutely large and butter-ball-esque.
Charlie was already aloft, circling high above like a vulture, and they made a soft birdcall signaling their impatience.
“Damnable kid,” Severus grunted, and with effort he launched his mount. The antique thing, purchased last week for its exceptional carrying capacity rather than its technological novelty, sputtered to life beneath his substantial weight. And soon enough, he was at Charlie’s flight level.
“You forget how pathetic I am on a broom,” Severus offered, trying not to pant with the exertion. “I’m old…and fat…and…”
“…Scrumptious,” Charlie offered, grinning and shaking away the flyaways from their long red braid. The oldest Weasley was stout as well, at this stage of their life, but burly and strong as a thestral. They were a magnificent sight in the air, capable of graceful stunts that made Severus’ stomach lurch just to watch.
Sensing their partner’s anxiety, Charlie proceeded to float alongside Severus, and then Severus felt the warmth of his lover’s arms around his ample waist.
“That’s better,” Severus huffed, still winded from the effort of takeoff, but catching his breath. He relaxed a bit until Charlie’s arms, though continued to wobble unsteadily. “I fucking hate this.”
“That’s right,” Charlie answered, and they laughed and pulled Severus tighter to their chest. “Do you prefer this, or being at home, alone while I work?”
“I always prefer home to flying,” Severus conceded with a grumpy tone. “But being with you is what I prefer the most.”
“I see,” Charlie responded, a thoughtful glint in their eye. “Up.”
Severus was a mite slow in his reaction time, but when prompted, he directed his steed in an ascent. Charlie let go and steadied their own handle, and the pair zoomed onwards like dragonflies - pointedly and without remorse.
“There,” Charlie announced after a moment, and pointed to the thin curl of smoke that rose in the distance. “Let’s have a look.”
The dragonologist threw themself ahead, and Severus couldn’t help but feel somewhat left behind.
Don’t leave me
Somehow, as if the thought carried the miles of distance already between them, Charlie did a full- circle flip in the air and returned to Severus. The younger person was panting when they sidled up to Severus once more.
“Whoop!” Charlie gloated, red-faced and thrilled. “That’s been a bit since I done that. My flying lately has been far too utilitarian.”
Severus grunted, feeling sick just looking at their partner, and accepted Charlie’s earnest gloved hand.
“You’ve got to get used to me, in the air,” Charlie scolded with the utmost gentleness. “It’s my element. You look positively green at the gills, my dear.”
“I don’t know that I can,” Severus grumbled, “It’s all very well when you tell me you’ve been hither or thither and I’m stowed away in the study. But when I see for myself the risks that you take…”
“I swear, it’s as normal to me as breathing,” Charlie assured him, and patted Severus’ white- knuckled hands. “Relax your fingers, darling, or you risk your own safety. That’s a good lad.”
Being called a good lad always made Severus shudder with delight despite himself, and he gave Charlie a sultry glare.
Charlie just laughed and patted his lover’s shoulder before dashing away again, as swift and deadly in the air as a missile.
……..
The jaunt was a short one, blessedly, and soon enough they were back to their off-grid Romanian cottage.
“The egg must have hatched last week,” Charlie mused sadly, standing before the fire. Severus was bustling about with the tea-things, but he grunted in agreement as he poured them their cups.
“Indeed,” Charlie went on as if Severus had said something, rubbing their cold fingers swiftly together in advance of receiving the cup. Their inner dialogue was likely churning through seventeen different threads at the speed of light, and only they could keep up with themselves, so it was better that their thoughts stayed internal.
Sweet, slightly crazy Charlie.
Severus offered a small smile as he watched Charlie sip. The dragonologist winked in approval and wordless thanks - after eleven-odd years of cohabitation, Severus knew exactly how much sugar and cream met with Charlie’s liking. It didn’t take a potions master to get it precisely right every time, but there was a sense of pride he took in the exercise nonetheless.
After a moment of internal occupation, Charlie went on, drinking and leaning with their elbows on the counter in their uncivilized way, “I need to find a way to get back at these people.”
Severus nodded, and collapsed into his easy-chair with a huff. Thereupon his posterior being safely stowed, he sipped his own tea. It was rich with tannins and perfectly dark, and he was satisfied with it. He took the liberty of dragging the biscuit-tin towards him on the side-table. He had most definitely earned a fair share of them, with their maiden voyage of Severus’ new broom.
“Infuriating,” Severus agreed, with resignation. They didn’t need to clarify the issues or their views out loud, having hammered it out in previous discussions to an exhausting extent.
Potions ingredients were a significant reason that hatchling dragons were poached. A particular enzyme in the bloodstream of these creatures had the impact of awakening the embryonic dragon from dormancy, leading it to begin the activity of hatching. This enzyme, scientifically termed excitatum draconica , faded out of the hatchling’s system by the first ten days of its life. The enzyme’s power was that it had a catalyzing impact necessary for many potions that involved dramatic healing, such as the regeneration potion used by the Dark Lord in 1994.
There was another potion that adherents of the Dark Lord had been tinkering with for the past ten years — a potion of the necromantic variety. This also required the use of this enzyme, at least a form of it.
To Severus, the whole debacle was exceedingly frustrating beyond the needless loss of life, for the simple fact that he had ( decades ago now — in bloody 1991! ) patented a synthetic alternative of excitatum draconis that was stable and effective for nearly any practical use of the enzyme.
Bloody fucking hell, for all the money that seemed to go into hiring poachers, it would have been far less expensive and likely more successful to manufacture Severus’ ingredient. But those who knew about the substitute seemed to have a vested interest in the supply chain, or wouldn’t condone the nocturnal goings-on in the efforts to resuscitate Tom Riddle.
So the poaching continued ongoing, and scarcely anyone ever paid the trivial licensing fee necessary to obtain the recipe for Severus’ substitute. Those that did tended to be young academics vigorously self-involved in their own researches, based on the publisher’s reports. Thus the substitute languished with unfulfilled potential, and baby dragons continued to be murdered for no good reason.
Charlie had, for a while, pursued the Quixotic mission of disseminating information about the synthetic substitute amongst the poaching community, but that was quickly shut down due to a) Charlie’s supervisor had a bit of a cow over the matter, reminding Charlie that their behavior must remain within the job description of dragonologist, and b) the poachers themselves correctly perceived this to be an outsider’s attempt to make them lose their primary source of income.
Apparently, the poachers also believed that the potions instructions were going to result in inadvertently creating an explosive brew designed to extinguish them, which Severus found incredibly amusing given the low degree of volatility of all the ingredients identified, but that was a secondary concern to them.
And so, the supply chain remained undisrupted, the wound continued to have salt rubbed into it, and both Charlie and Severus bonded over the intensely unfair ways their worlds were both affected by two different sides of the same coin.
Shifting suddenly from their maudlin mood, in their abrupt and electrifying manner, Charlie cast a wide, sparkling grin at Severus. Charlie also stole Severus’ second biscuit from his partner’s hand.
Severus clucked his tongue. “Such cheek.”
“Mhm.” Charlie dipped, and presented said bearded cheek to Severus, who kissed it in a prim and somewhat disapproving gesture. “So, I’ll be taking you out daily from now on. No excuses.”
Severus’ pudgy fingers were back in the biscuit-tin. “Not in the rain?”
Charlie cocked their head and thought on that. “Perhaps not. As long as you don’t give me any trouble.”
“Hmph.” Severus’ mouth was full. Obviously, though, giving people trouble was rather characteristic of him. Charlie less so than others, of course, but it would be a lie to suggest that being taken for a daily broom-ride would suit Severus’ persuasion.
Charlie snatched the biscuit tin just as Severus was preparing for his next selection. “You wouldn’t want me to have to cut off your supply, would you darling?”
Severus swallowed, his eyes growing cold and menacing. The effect was rather ruined by the fact that his double-chin wobbled so delightfully. “You wouldn’t dare .”
“If needs be,” Charlie tittered, and laughed loudly as Severus grabbed them about their own podgy waist and pulled them down into a crumpled heap on Severus’ lap. “Remember, you’re the one who thought this was a good idea.”
“As you must remind me.”
Charlie responded by wrapping their arms around Severus’ taut barrel of a stomach, and for a moment the pair relished the quiet moment of connection. They were only interrupted by the clock on the mantel, chiming five o’clock.
“Medication,” Charlie said, standing and sauntering to the wooden box next to the clock. Severus poured more tea into both their cups.
…………….
Ritonavir was a cursed word, in Severus’ opinion. Not for the medication itself, but for the lipohypertrophy associated with it. When he’d first been diagnosed with HIV in 1996, his cocktail of medications was different, and he’d mostly suffered from lipoatrophy. He’d always been slender, but
the medications made him gaunt. He could live with that, particularly when the alternative was a quick and painful death.
But the medications that once had stayed the beast of his condition - they stopped keeping the viral load to an acceptable degree after Nagini bit him. Something about her toxins fucked with his body’s immune response, and took him back to square one.
So then Dr. Chandri put him on the cursed drug that distorted his body until it resembled its current form. He’d been off it now for a few years, but the weight remained stubborn. Particularly when he couldn’t get his appetite back under control.
Charlie wasn’t much help in that regard, frankly. The kid was unendingly indulgent of Severus’ baser desires, of all kinds. “You deserve to be spoiled” had become the constant refrain, with kisses running down his taut belly down to meet Severus’ lower needs.
It had taken the better part of several years to start to believe that Charlie believed it. And even longer for Severus to contemplate the possibility that it might be true, beyond Charlie being crazy.
At this point in 2010, Severus knew he’d been spoiled rather too thoroughly, and was trying to curb the laissez-faire attitude that Charlie had pushed him into cultivating. He’d rested too long on his laurels.
He could remember the day they connected as adults. It was a dreary dull day in March of 1996….
………
Severus exited Dr. Chandri’s office, feeling the worse for wear. So, he had HIV. It’d only been a matter of time.
Flooding back to him came images of parties at Malfoy Manor, where the woolen fibers and intense red of a bedroom rug pressed into his face while he was in flagrante delicto with the son of a duke, where, Lucius and Narcissa sat on golden parlor chairs, fully clothed and in regal attire, Lucius clapping slowly and chuckling as Severus submitted to the other boy. Another time, in the erotic dungeon parlor at the Manor, Lucius stood over him, pissing and gasping as Severus rubbed him off whilst the stream just kept on going, and going, and going. A crazy ribald night with ten other young Death Eaters, all of whom had been stripped naked, and then Lucius brought in only nine beautiful whores, and Severus was expected to fuck Lucius while Lucius fucked his wife.
He’d had astonishingly good luck, frankly, that he’d only just caught it. (To be fair, most of his escapades were with Lucius, but also to be fair, that suggested Lucius was some degree of faithful, which astonished him in retrospect.)
He’d had astonishingly bad luck, though, that he’d caught it from his first sexual experience in seven years. (He finally had invited Antonio, the grocery clerk, home, as a birthday gift to himself. He hadn’t been back to that convenience since. He wondered if Antonio was still working, or if he was too sick himself.)
Severus was in the midst of berating himself for his blunder when the door of the waiting room opened, and the next person entered.
At first, Severus’ eyes were too glazed over from fought-back tears to identify the other patient. But as a somewhat familiar color scheme entered his vision, he blinked twice. Three times.
In a blue homespun sweater that matched their eyes was Charlie Weasley, a full forty pounds heavier than when they had left school, and most all of it muscle. Their peach fuzz had blossomed into a proper close-trimmed beard, and their face was a bit round in a manner reminiscent of their mother, but their eyes shone kindly as they recognized Severus.
“Ah, Professor.” They were altogether far too cheerful for the circumstances. They sauntered up to Severus, and offered an earnest hand. “How awkward.”
Dr. Chandri, dual-educated in the Muggle and Wizarding medical systems, was an expert on many things, but practiced in treatment of only one disease — the kind that all the other healers at St.
Mungo’s were scared of.
There was no secret that both Charlie and Severus had more than one particular thing in common, and neither was particularly acceptable to discuss in polite wizarding company.
Severus did his best to grit through a lie. “I’m here for a friend.” Not that his accentuated skinniness and limpid pallor could do any job of persuading Severus’ former student.
Charlie nodded, not accepting the ruse for a second but too polite to question it, and they seated themself in a chair facing a wall. They made some pretense of perusing a copy of Vanity Fair, and then caught Severus’ eye again.
Severus attempted to will his body upwards, to walk out the door, to ignore the prescription he had been given and just wait for the incipient disease to waste him to nothingness, to ignore whatever veiled overtures of concern Albus might continue to give, to hope that today is the day that his body would get the message he’d been trying to send it for years and that it would begin its final spiral to the end, to carry his sunken cheeks cheeks and sharpening chin higher and never, ever falter…
But the simple concern in Charlie’s face, the openness and warmth in it was too glorious an invitation.
Another memory surfaced in his mind, this time a more recent one. Dr. Chandri had scribbled out a referral for Severus to meet with a psychological healer, and Severus was right pissed about it. “You have to talk to someone ,” is what Dr. Chandri had ordered mere minutes before this chance encounter.
Well, in that waiting room, Charlie felt like a balm: soothing in their knownness, but also there was a sense of worldliness about them. Also a sense of disposability. Weren’t they working in Bulgaria or somesuch? Severus supposed it made sense that they might still seek medical care here in England. They were in their mastery program, if he wasn’t quite mistaken. Studying dragonology with Vladimir Konin? Was that right? Oh, that would be Romania, then, wouldn’t it… oh, and surely Charlie was done with their mastership by now?
Regardless of the details, Charlie certainly was someone , and Severus felt drawn to communicate with them in the same way he was repulsed by the idea of talking to the psychological healer.
The burden of the present moment surpassed every secret he’d ever carried, and the possibility of being able to share it, even for a few minutes with someone who was about to go abroad again? It was too tempting to ignore. Even if Severus knew it was a bad idea.
“Are you still in Romania full-time,” Severus bit out. It was barely a question, as he resented his frailty, and had to let that tension out somehow. It seemed that he wasn’t going to be able to physically get up any moment soon. He had nothing waiting for him but his grading back at the castle, so he felt like he had all the time in the world, suddenly.
Charlie seemed delighted to share, their face flushing with pride or boyish enthusiasm. “Let me tell you,” Charlie started, picking themself up and relocating to the chair adjacent to Severus’, and all of a sudden they were off, and before Severus realized it, it was summer, and Severus felt like a house with all the doors and windows wide open to catch the evening breeze.
It made him flush to remember that he’d taught Charlie, not so many years before. The kid felt like a different person now than they’d been during their 1991 graduation, when they’d been shy and hesitant to pose for pictures with their parents, but had grabbed Severus by the sleeve and insisted that Severus take a photograph with them (just them! No mum and da, just me and my teacher!) against the arbor.
Or, perhaps, that timid child had already been disappearing and growing into the confident, level- headed person that Severus saw today. In that grabbing of Severus’ sleeve, Charlie had probably grown a full two inches.
The thought made Severus queasy, or perhaps it was the first dose of medications the doctor had just made him swallow on the premises ( three pills? Three? ) but regardless he needed to shut this down immediately.
“I must have given you the wrong impression,” Severus cut in after a full three minutes of Charlie’s impassioned blathering, “I believe you have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit.”
Charlie seemed stunned for a moment, like a man who is never told ‘no’ being denied a simple request, but then they smiled in a jaunty, swashbuckling manner that made Severus’ chest twist uncomfortably.
“I suppose you try to come off as unapproachable. But I remember you when you first started teaching, Professor.”
Charlie leaned closer, and Severus felt his heart skip seventeen times.
Then, in an intimate proximity, Charlie elaborated, “After that, I could never think of you as unapproachable, Severus.”
Severus gulped, trying not to show the terror he felt. He remembered now, Charlie’s first year had been 1984.
That had been the year that Severus got sober.
He often did his best to forget that year, where he had all of a sudden tried to become the best version of himself, in an attempt to atone for the years of being near constant blotto. It was a blur of a year that he had spent in a nearly manic-depressive phase, grasping against the pull of the alcohol addiction that tried to keep him from acknowledging the horror and despair that came with
the events of the fall of 1981. Simultaneously, he’d started to give a shit about his teaching, leading to spirited long lectures that tended towards a kind of mania, where he realized he was still talking twenty minutes after the class was supposed to be over while the terrified children just stared at him as he wildly gesticulated at the names of instruments and the charts of ingredients and oh he tried to forget that year. He’d lost his composure in the halls at least a dozen times in view of students, rushing to the nearest closet with both hands on his face when something jarred him terribly while he had already been in the midst of a vulnerable and sensitive moment of painful recollection. Most shamefully, he’d done the unthinkable and mixed up flammable ingredients and blown up his own cauldron in the same class when some child asked him whether he’d ever blown up a cauldron, and his hands shook the rest of the period because it felt like the children were judging him as harshly as their little hearts could.
That had been a Gryffindor / Slytherin first year double, and little Charlie Weasley had witnessed that event.
Indeed, that seemed to have made quite an impression on Charlie, but not in the typical way. Charlie had more than a Gryffindor’s brawn, it seemed - there was a slyness and steel that hid beneath their gentle nature.
In response to Charlie’s subtleties, Severus’ face had flushed an intense red, and he sputtered for lack of some kind of apt response.
The kid just laughed in a sparkling, wholesome way that was strikingly beautiful.
“I know it’s awful, since my da’… you know what happened to him in December… but I’m avoiding my parents,” Charlie went on, and elaborated, “My mother doesn’t know that I…”
Charlie gestured, and it only took a moment for Severus to catch the implications. That Charlie was ill, that Charlie was into boys, that Charlie was in town getting treatment for a life-threatening disease. “It’d be too much for them,” Charlie finally sighed, and looked at Severus with unmuted sadness and resignation.
“Understood,” Severus uttered, deciding he rather liked adult Charlie quite a lot more than he could have expected. Anyone who would successfully keep such a critical thing private from Molly Weasley seemed like a good sort, to him. Charlie was stronger than the rest of the brood that Severus had taught so far, and apparently saw their parents as fallible adults.
Some of it might have been that Molly still struggled with their pronouns, if Severus remembered
correctly from conversations in Grimmauld Place. Molly had made no attempt to honor the quiet disavowal of gender conformity that Charlie exhibited. It didn’t phase Severus that Charlie denied manhood, though it was yet another facet of them that was interesting .
The brightness and intensity of their eyes drew Severus back to the present moment.
“I’d appreciate if you’d keep my secret,” Charlie elaborated, a hint of embarrassment on their face at having to ask.
“We are in a state of mutually assured destruction,” Severus responded evenly. He was never the sort of person to tattle unless there was a mechanism of self-benefit. Bound as he was by his own profound humiliation, he had no trouble keeping the secret.
“Thank you,” Charlie said, hearing the meaning below the words rather than concentrating on the words themselves. That was rather refreshing to see - Albus did that with Severus, and few else did.
Charlie had genuine wisdom. Severus was, despite everything, wildly catapulting towards an irrational affection for the kid, and they’d scarcely exchanged a few words.
Yes, he was that desperate for small kindnesses, and some part of him wasn’t even afraid to acknowledge it.
Moreover, he mused, Charlie had seen him at his weakest not only as a teacher, but now also as a human. The thought of Charlie having seen him so undignified and palpably weak - and still having this warmth towards him? It almost made him hard , just thinking about it. He was rather a masochist, after all. It was the first time Severus had thought about sex in over a month, and it was a relief to feel his body ease into it.
But, this was dangerous. Turning abruptly away, Severus dismissed the thought. “Have a good appointment.”
“Let’s go to dinner?” Charlie asked, and Severus felt an aching in his chest. “It won’t be long, I am just here to check in.”
Severus fought the impulse to agree right away. But his mind was clouding, and he felt tremendously weak in constitution and willpower.
“At least we can’t make each other sick,” Charlie added, and gestured helplessly at the walls of the
waiting room, as though it was their fault both Charlie and Severus had become afflicted by the gay community’s most terrifying bogeyman.
Severus became exceedingly aware of his heartbeat, and how it was so asynchronous with the ticking of the clock on the wall. “I can’t promise anything,” Severus said before he could stop himself, and at the same instant, the door to Dr. Chandri’s office opened.
“I won’t be long,” Charlie said, and followed the healer inside. “Wait for me.”
Severus fully intended to cut his losses and leave then, but his legs seemed to be unwilling to cooperate. Also, he may or may not have involuntarily fallen asleep, because it felt like just a minute later that Charlie was shaking his shoulder. The care and compassion in Charlie’s demeanor seemed too real to fight. And as Severus opened his eyes, Charlie’s face faded into a look where they seemed actually pleased to see Severus still there in the waiting room, for some reason. Despite the obviously unhappy circumstances, and Severus’ stern professorial facade, Charlie appeared keen to push past these things and connect.
⸻⸺
They sat at the Rue Decateur, in a remote corner far from the eyes of middle-class gossips. Charlie was eating heartily of some kind of Normandian seafood soup, and Severus picked at his steak- frites.
“I started the hybrid treatment in October,” Charlie said, and smiled brightly at Severus. “I feel loads better. I was so afraid,” they added, their eyes wide and mournful with the memory. “Less of the disease, I guess and more how could I show my face at Christmas looking so haggard.”
The joke fell like a rotting banana thrown at a brick wall. Severus offered the ghost of a smile. “You’re looking well, now.” A shade plump, even.
“It’s the hybrid treatments, I portkey here twice a month for them,” Charlie stated, and stared meaningfully at Severus. “Are you going to be doing that?”
“I had opted against it,” Severus answered, and already knew he was going to have to deal with being talked to about the decision. “I have felt that I can’t make time in my schedule for it.”
Charlie laughed, then realized this was a serious objection. “You’re a teacher,” Charlie observed,
and cocked their head with curiosity. “Surely weekends?”
Severus shrugged, and gods his eyes were beginning to swim. Unexpressed was the deep and abiding sense of wanting to be dead that had chronically afflicted him. There was just so much more on his plate than teaching , and he was tired to the depth of his bones.
Charlie, bless their soul, seemed quick on the uptake. “It isn’t really about time , is it.”
Severus shook his head, staring blankly at the chips and meat on his plate. At least there was one less thing on his plate: he didn’t have to contend with the stupidity of Harry Potter and the ill-fated Occulmency lessons from January and February.
The only reason Albus relented with his persuasive efforts to make nice and restart those was because of his illness. Albus was was the only one at Hogwarts who knew that Severus was going to see Dr. Chandri, since the persistent flu-like symptoms hadn’t gone away in an entire month, only because Severus didn’t see a point in hiding the truth from Albus. Perhaps he relished the look of horror and pity in Albus’ eyes after that particular legilimentic debrief. Regardless, Albus was pathologically determined to see Severus feel better. Severus was not nearly so motivated, not when he knew it was far from altruistic on Albus’ part. Albus simply couldn’t afford the loss of his most versatile chess-piece.
“It is a concern,” Severus breathed, not meeting Charlie’s eyes, “but it is possible that time is not the primary determining factor.”
Charlie nodded, and in a gesture of camaraderie, they stole a chip off Severus’ plate.
…….
They went back to Charlie’s hotel room after that, with the promise that it was a non-magical one where they wouldn’t have any possibility of other chance encounters.
Severus was so inured to being used by other men that while Charlie used the lavatory, he began to disrobe automatically. When Charlie came out, their rosebud lips made a small, surprised oh that betrayed the folly in Severus’ assumption.
“I’m not sure that you’re in any kind of state for that,” Charlie said as they observed Severus in his
underthings, and Charlie gently settled onto the bed.
The embarrassment and feelings of rejection stung, and Severus turned his back on Charlie to hide the oncoming tears.
He just wanted to be held, damn it. In his frailty, he had misinterpreted the situation. He snapped up his trousers and wand-waved at his tunic to rebutton.
How could he be so foolish? No one would ever want him anymore, looking as he did - not even for a casual shag.
“Lo. Wait.”
Charlie was at his side in an instant, warm and solid and too close to be anything other than intimate.
“Come here?” Charlie asked, and there was a real sense of asking in their voice that was not typical to these situations, in Severus’ experience.
And as Severus’ heart fluttered in his sunken chest, Charlie was putting his fingers under Severus’ jaw, and then Charlie was kissing Severus so tenderly and coaxingly that it felt like a dream.
Then, of a sudden, it was over, the sweet flavor of Charlie’s lips (not a trace of fishiness from their dinner, either, it seemed like they’d scourgified their mouth out thoroughly while in the lav) and the warmth of their breath, and oh Severus was intoxicated, and just wanted it back again, and he opened his eyes and saw Charlie asking questions with their facial expression.
It dawned on him that Charlie was looking for some kind of sign of desire, of consent. How… unusual.
“Please,” Severus begged, feeling a fool for asking but not being able to hold himself back. He felt raw and ragged, and this… he needed this more urgently than he ever had in memory.
Charlie nodded, and interwove their fingers with Severus’, and then with that they guided Severus to the bed.
As they collapsed there into the bedclothes and Severus’ fingers began to automatically flirt with
Charlie’s trouser buttons, the kid clucked their tongue in discouragement and pulled a few limp locks of Severus’ hair away from his ear.
“Not now,” Charlie said, with a kiss to follow, and then they made a motion to stand.
Feeling doubly betrayed, Severus closed his eyes tight and listened. Surely Charlie would go out to ostensibly smoke a fag, and never return. Or was Charlie having second thoughts about sex, and stripping for such a purpose? What Severus had assumed to be inevitable less than ten minutes prior, he felt some degree of revulsion for now, and he was steeling himself against having to perform in order to possibly attain what he actually wanted, which was, quite simply, a snuggle…
But all that happened was that Charlie grabbed the remote for the telly and flicked the thing on, turning it to a low enough volume for background noise. Then Severus heard the soft clicks of nails against buttons as Charlie began to unbutton something, and the rustle of fabric as their outer robes were thrown onto the side chair. Then there was the feeling of the bed dipping again, and Charlie was back, undressed just enough to get comfortable but not enough to suggest total informality.
“This alright?” Charlie asked, and Severus opened his eyes. They were still attired in that bright blue jumper, and Severus allowed himself the luxury of hesitatingly touching Charlie’s middle. There was a bit of podge at their waist, which seemed unsurprising considering how they’d cleaned both their plates at dinner, but there was clearly muscle beneath the soft wobble of flesh. Their trousers were undone, just the top two buttons, presumably to accommodate their robust dinner.
Severus nodded slowly, feeling a bit foolish in the manner of a stray cat that jumped at every shadow. Charlie looked so hale and solid, and yes even plump , and Severus found part of himself deeply aroused at the sight of that soft stomach hanging over the edge of their trousers, and the suggestion of Charlie’s package as it bulged below it - but the bone-tired part of him won out.
“Good. Then let’s just rest together,” they whispered, and kissed Severus’ ear with buttery gentleness. “You definitely need it.”
This earnest kindness finally was Severus’ undoing, and the tears began to eke from Severus’ ducts of their own volition. It didn’t take long for Charlie to notice, and they softly put a single arm around Severus, pulling the brittle man close in a powerful embrace that shook Severus’ soul.
And, well, this seemed to be permission enough to sincerely weep. And so, for the first time in Severus’ memory, he didn’t cry himself to sleep, alone.
⸻⸻—
The first two years of their relationship - the time where it was on-again, off-again - Severus refused to believe it. A lot happened, of course, like Dumbledore’s horrific death, and, well, Severus nearly dying at Nagini’s fangs, but as Severus blearily recovered in a secret hospital room under Dr. Chandri’s care, Charlie was the angel that sat at Severus’ side, and concocted a plan for their future together.
“As far as the ministry is concerned, you’re comatose, and can be declared dead at any moment,” Dr. Chandri stated, their neutrality only undermined by the magnitude of what they were expressing. Being willing to lie to the ministry was no small feat, but something in their composure told Severus this was neither the first nor the last time the doctor would fudge the truth for the benefit of a patient.
For not the first time, Severus wondered how Dr. Chandri had elected to pursue this field of work, and he could only tell that the doctor’s occulmentic shields were too masterful for Severus to casually circumvent. It had to be personal.
“I do not trust you to have a fair trial, Severus,” Charlie said, and their eyes shone clear and bright as the clear blue sky. “I have the means for a visa under a new identity, ready to go. It’s your choice, of course. But I would be delighted if you came and lived with me in my cabin. Even just for a short while, until you figure out what you would like best to do with your life.”
Severus looked at Dr. Chandri, who met Severus’ gaze steadily, without flinching. The healer stated, with such composure as to be deceptive, “If I had such a chance for love, Severus, I would take it.”
Severus, for his part, stifled the habit he’d built of downplaying Charlie’s frequent declarations of love. They’d blossomed too quickly in their mercurial connection for him to trust the words, which melted out of Charlie’s mouth as naturally and effortlessly as snow fading to water in spring.
But faced with the present moment, Severus got the sense that perhaps Charlie’s love could be trusted. That it wasn’t puppydog infatuation, as he had been telling himself for the past while. Perhaps it was something enduring.
Dr. Chandri seemed to know something about love, and seemed in this moment to let the veil slip just enough to demarcate the significance of Charlie in the secret hospital room. He suggested, for a moment, what tragedy he had suffered in his own past that led him to be the formidable healer
that he was in the present day. And for whatever reason, Dr. Chandri seemed to envision Severus and Charlie emerging victorious from this quagmire.
In light of this, Severus felt chagrined that he hadn’t been willing to accept Charlie’s affection entirely before. That he’d put them both through the wringer in the past couple of years, just to end up in this current moment.
The kid was overdue for some generosity, after having been so unendingly generous with him. “Yes,” Severus breathed, and Charlie’s eyes widened with surprise and relief.
Oh, that pained him so to see! That his sweet angelic Charlie was surprised to hear him agree to their happiness!
“Yes,” Severus repeated, warming to the theme, despite the strangled pain of his throat, “and, I owe you so many more yes’s in the years to come.”
Charlie was overcome, and began crying happy tears right then and there, and they wrapped their arms around Severus and kissed them on both cheeks, and Severus felt his face flush and saw Dr. Chandri smile, and then he closed his eyes and tried to just fucking enjoy the fact that someone so wonderful and talented and wholesome (and erotically exciting) as Charlie gave a damn about him.
“This calls for a bit of celebration, it seems,” Dr. Chandri said, and rummaged through a cupboard for a tin of biscuits. “They may be a bit stale,” the healer said, waving away the stasis charm, but Charlie grabbed a fistful without ceremony, primed and ready to stuff them down Severus’ throat.
“I can’t,” Severus rasped, and gestured at his wound.
“It’s been weeks. You’re going to have to start taking solids sometime,” Charlie said briskly.
Severus, with some degree of panic, looked to Dr. Chandri, who shrugged uselessly. “Dip them in water, that could help.” Then the healer seemed to receive a magical message from his secretary, and he hurried out the room.
Caught between his previous vow and Charlie’s hopeful attitude, Severus had no choice in the matter.
“Yes,” Severus agreed begrudgingly, and opened his mouth to accept the food.
The beatific smile on Charlie’s face? Severus never wanted it to fade.
“Let’s not make this a habit,” he warned after his first bite was successfully swallowed, poking Charlie’s soft middle in the way he often did, with arousal thinly veiled by contempt. “I wouldn’t want to end up as plump as a dumpling, like you.”
Charlie chuckled and kissed Severus again. “Now you make me want to take after my mother,” Charlie answered with heat in their face, apparently taking the suggestion as a challenge.
There was a telltale twitch of Severus’ cock at that, beneath the blankets though it was. This was a new way to submit to the will of his partner, which perspective was all the prompt required to become helpless with need.
And so he did as he was told, and he docilely complied with Charlie’s ministrations until his stomach could not tolerate a single bite more.
⸻⸺-
“Is it already time for our next ride?” Severus asked the afternoon after their virgin voyage on his new broom. His body ached in all places, including places he never thought could hurt.
“In two hours. I’m preparing you,” Charlie said, pouring more hot water from the kettle into their carafe. “I’ve got to go check on Sector 12, and I’ll be back for a quick ride, then tea.”
“Indeed.” Severus heaved himself up and moved towards the front door. “Short today, right?”
“Unless you feel up to more. But there’s no need to overextend yourself,” Charlie went on, and pressed a kiss on Severus’ cheek. “I love you, silly man.”
“I love you ,” Severus answered, a small smile emerging at the tenderness he never thought he’d be granted (or reciprocate). “How is the weather?”
“You couldn’t magic up a more perfect May day,” Charlie answered, and with a wave they were gone.
After some tea, Severus ambled out to the garden to do some weeding. He sank onto the knee- padding thing Charlie got at the horticulturist’s and began to pluck, getting into the rhythm of it
quick enough.
Then he was startled by the sound of the front gate, and he sat up to see who it might be.
His stomach dropped as he realized it was an older red-haired woman, and it was Molly Weasley. “Charlie?” she called, approaching Severus. “Is that my Charlie?”
Severus did a quick self-inventory. His wand was in the cottage, blast and damn, so hopefully he looked different enough (and had been declared dead long enough) that she would not recognize him.
“He’s just left, I’m sorry to say,” he responded, in a nasally voice that he hoped wasn’t reminiscent of his natural one. “I’m his coworker, Steven Kittering.”
“Oh, yes?” Molly came up upon him finally, and she squinted at him in confusion, as if she were in need of spectacles. Charlie had written a great deal in his outgoing post about his coworker-cum- flat-mate, but out of politeness Charlie had regularly neglected to mention Severus’ preponderant size. It was entirely possible that Molly was imagining quite a different sort of fellow.
For his own part, Severus did now wear spectacles, and that likely helped disguise him as well.
For her part, Molly Weasley looked almost the same as ever, except her hair was half grey and her figure had plumpened just a touch.
“Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Mr. Kittering. I’m Molly Weasley, Charlie’s mum.”
“It’s a long way you’ve traveled, ma’m, to our humble accommodations,” Severus did his best not to drawl, but some annoyance bled through probably. “Is Charlie aware of your visit? I don’t recall their mentioning…”
Of course, Severus knew, Molly Weasley had not informed Charlie of her intentions to travel here. Molly hadn’t written in at least a month, and Charlie’s last letter from her had been completely typical.
“Oh, silly me,” Molly said, and Severus sensed a forcedness to the excuse, “I did send word, but I suppose it’s entirely possible I arrived more quickly than the owl.”
“What occasions the visit?” Severus asked, deeply worried of a sudden. Had somehow they been discovered? That seemed quite unlikely…
“Is there a powder room I can use?” Molly diverted, squinting at the cottage with suspicion.
“Yes,” Severus murmured, and completed his complex and undignified self-righting maneuver involving legs curled under him, then buttocks in air, and finally a strong heave that got his head straight again. Molly looked on with thinly-hidden disgust, but she followed him to the cottage.
“What happened to your neck?” she asked as Severus unlatched the door. Perhaps her eyesight wasn’t so troublesome after all.
He touched his throat, and grimaced.
“Would you believe, one of my ethnological studies incensed the locals of Transylvania so much that I ended up getting to intimately experience the business end of a guillotine?”
Molly was obviously horrified.
“I jest,” Severus chuckled, gratified at this tiny reclamation of dignity. He had been thinking of a thousand little quips to respond to this question, and unfortunately his fluency in Romanian was insufficient for them to get the same effect as with an English speaker. Then, escorting her inside, he offered his more veritable excuse, as consolation for his behavior. “Cooking accident ten years ago. I made the unfortunate mistake of using a clay dish when I was in the field, cooking on an open fire. I’m embarrassed to say, I heated it unevenly, and a shard from the explosion nearly killed me.
Unfortunately I have always been rubbish at that sort of thing. Cooking and potions and all that.”
“Hm.” Molly seemed dubious, but perhaps it was simply her foul mood coloring everything she said. She was desperately trying to remain civil, it seemed, and he was testing her patience grandly.
“Would you care for a spot of tea?” Severus asked, shuffling to the kettle and adeptly pretending to have forgotten her chief concern.
“The lav?” Molly snapped.
“Oh, terribly sorry my dear,” Severus said in his best Slughornian fashion, “just over there.”
She practically stomped there and slammed the door, and Severus did his best to choke back his
laughter with a biscuit or three.
He just wished Charlie could have seen the whole charade. Ah well, they’d be home soon enough.
⸻—
“Your father is leaving,” Molly stated, at first appearing furious. Then, as Charlie and Severus sat with wide eyes (Severus dropping all pretense at reading his book for the moment), she paled, and began to sob piteously.
“What? Why?” Charlie asked, their eyes becoming glassy at the revelation.
Severus’ fingers itched to touch Charlie - their leg, their shoulder, their hand? But unless Charlie initiated, he didn’t dare. This wasn’t his secret to break.
It took her several moments to bare the difficult truth. “He… he fell in love with another woman,” Molly gasped, and seemed to curl up into herself.
“He… he cheated?” The vision of Arthur in the arms of some woman other than Molly was strange, incongruous.
“He didn’t , and that’s almost worse ,” Molly cried, and Charlie and Severus looked at each other with confusion.
Molly winced, and blew her nose into her handkerchief. “He… he asked me if I would be willing to welcome her into our family . He said what with all you children gone off and growing your own families - you excepted my darling, of course - he’s felt the house was too quiet. What kind of man does that?”
Charlie’s voice was soft but steely as they asked, “Who is the woman, mum?”
Molly’s tears started anew. “Oh, you wouldn’t know her, dear. She’s one of his coworkers, a Rasheeda Jenkins.”
Charlie nodded, and Severus felt again the frustrated pull to provide comfort to his lover.
“I could understand, you know,” Molly went on, “a flirtation with a sweet delicate young thing, a
secretary, what have you. A dalliance that meant nothing. But this…” Molly swallowed, and frowned. “She’s older than us, this woman. By six years. And larger than me, too… like your size, no offense Steven.”
Ah, this explained some of the discomfort she had at the sight of him. Severus deflated a little bit, tension leaving his body. He was frankly just as flummoxed by the situation as Molly, and unnerved by the idea of Arthur floating such a preposterous idea. Living with two lovers at once?
This stung as he thought about Lucius, who would never have dreamed to such a thing, entitled king though he was. It wouldn’t have ended up well for Severus, of course, but this exact situation spoke directly to some of the dreams he’d had as a young Death Eater. Of having (somehow) Lily, and Lucius, without complaint from either of them.
It was strange, to think that mild-mannered Arthur Weasley was bolder than Lucius Malfoy. Or himself, for that matter.
Molly rolled onwards without registering any of Severus’ inner grief, of course. “She loves all the little gadgets that your father adores so much. She’s so… tremendously clever… and they make each other laugh… She… she’s perfect for him,” she uttered in a strangled near-scream, “and so I just thought, I should just go and live in Romania with Charlie and his flat-mate. And just let your father have the peace and happiness he… deserves.”
Charlie moved to wrap their mother in their arms at this point, and Molly just wept and wailed.
Charlie, understandably, was oblivious to Severus’ subterranean storm of emotions. Severus grasped the wooden arms of his chair tightly, but otherwise remained stoic.
If their cottage had any conceivable manner of privacy, he’d retire to what they generally considered to be ‘his’ bedroom. But the walls were mere partitions, and the doorways were only tapestries, so there was no point.
He could go outside, perhaps, but his legs wouldn’t bear the trip.
“So,” Charlie finally said when they were able to get in a word edgewise. “Father hasn’t been unfaithful, technically speaking. And technically speaking, he has only asked you to have this… Rasheeda move into the Burrow. Am I understanding this correctly?”
Molly nodded, blowing her nose and hiccuping.
“And, moreover,” Charlie went on, parsing the information, “he actually has not, in all technicality, left you . You have, though, decided to leave him ?”
“I don’t think that’s a fair description,” Severus butted in, feeling raw at hearing Charlie’s coldly rational response. “He has been emotionally unfaithful, regardless of what base instincts he claims to have curbed. How could your mother help but conclude that he left her, when your father has changed the terms of their marriage without her consent?”
This seemed to mollify Molly, who gazed at Severus with stunned appreciation. “Such an empathetic one, you are,” she mused, “yes, that’s exactly it. He has changed the terms without my consent. If I had known that… this was a possibility… oh, I might have made very different choices long ago.”
There was a tinge of a different sadness in her voice, though, and Charlie was empathetic enough (more so than Severus, quite honestly) to pick up on it.
“What kinds of choices would you have made differently?” Charlie asked, gently and firmly guiding her to reveal her thoughts.
For his own part, Severus was only tuned into watching Charlie right now. How was Charlie processing this information? Was Charlie curious, or disgusted? The response would guide his next steps, which he was already formulating in his heart.
A not insubstantial part of Severus was contemplating writing a letter to Lucius, inspired by this little domestic drama. Would it end up amounting to some kind of polyamorous bliss? Almost certainly not. But the idea that others might not dismiss such notions outright, it made Severus nearly salivate with the possibilities envisioned in his head. If Charlie could see the sense in more than one lover? Might it not translate to something applicable to them?
Severus was disturbed from his contemplations by the serious and penetrating gaze of Molly. “I… I don’t know I can say it in front of your friend, here,” she said quietly, but not in a whisper.
“Steven is the very soul of discretion, mum,” Charlie said, and chuckled lowly, “I can scarcely keep a secret from him, anyhow. We live in such close quarters as to practically be one.”
There seemed to be an edge, there, and Severus was immediately on alert. Did Charlie have a
secret that he was keeping, from him ?
⸻⸺
“I used to have a friend, named Sybill,” Molly was saying, and she laughed sadly. “She was so beautiful, and witty, and passionate. She was in Ravenclaw, and I always was fascinated by her. I…”
Molly swallowed, and turned beet red. “I know I didn’t react well to Fred coming out as… well… you know, dear.”
Queer !
Severus caught her eye, and could hear her mind screaming the word with the casual glance.
“It was rather because, darling, I had made a distinct choice, in my seventh year.” Molly leaned forward and whispered, but Severus could hear her as clear as day.
“She asked me to run away with her. And for a while, I planned to. I had been engaged to your father for my whole sixth year, but I was having my doubts.”
She began crying again, this time less with the grief of her current situation, and more with the despair of regret that Severus could too-well recognize.
“We had plans to meet at the pub to run away together, engagement be damned. But when push came to shove, Charlie… I didn’t. I decided it was stupid and reckless, and besides, I wanted so desperately to make my parents proud and to have a family.”
She was so exquisitely broken in this moment, Severus could never have imagined the trauma this woman carried in her bones. Nor had he ever felt as sympathetic towards the woman, who he had always regarded as somewhat of a shrew.
“So why does Arthur bloody well think he can have it all?” Molly spat, no longer attempting to maintain some privacy from Severus. “I made a choice, Charlie. The practical, sensible, wise, prudent choice. Your father should have done the same. But if he can’t simply put this thing away, as I did long ago? Then it’s clear he’s making his choice, as I once did. And it’s clear that I made the wrong one, in the end.”
Tears were streaming down Charlie’s face now, and even Severus was becoming unable to hold
back a tiny sniffle.
“You didn’t make the wrong one,” Charlie assured their mother, holding her hand in a tender, loving manner usually reserved for Severus. It took a firm swallow and shake for Severus to ignore the pangs of jealousy at the sight. It was their mother , for heaven’s sake. “He doesn’t know about this, does he?”
“No one does, other than Sybill, of course,” Molly said, and closed her eyes. “I ruined her by this, is what makes this so much worse. She took so badly to drink, that while she had a post at Hogwarts for a while, she lost it due to her alcoholism.”
Severus was aghast at the revelation, as was Charlie.
“Not Sybill Trelawney.” Severus had always thought of her as being significantly older than Molly Weasley, but perhaps it was just the wild hair and caftans.
Molly nodded, and began to cry again.
“She was so certain the stars predicted our fates,” Molly said, laughing a little. “I wasn’t so convinced. She always seemed rather bad at divination, truth be told. But I wanted to run away with her, I truly did. In the end, I was too scared to actually follow through.”
She sighed. “I didn’t do justice to Fred and his friend, Toshi. I know I owe Fred an explanation, but he hasn’t responded to my letters in months.”
“Husband,” corrected Charlie gently. “They had a ceremony, and all.” Molly acknowledged this with a nod.
“Fred and his husband,” she said, and laughed a little. “Even if it isn’t legal, I suppose there isn’t any harm in calling them husbands.”
Charlie’s eyes made contact with Severus, and there was a searching, desperate look in them. They were wrestling with the question of whether or not to tell their mother, right now.
In a fit of reckless passion, Severus pressed his fingers to his lips, and blew a kiss of approval towards his lover. Wasn’t the whole moral of this story that acting in alignment with fear was the
greatest regret of all?
Wasn’t that the whole bloody moral of Severus’ own tragedy?
“I suppose now is as good a time as any?” Charlie began, and leaned closer to their mother. “Mum, what if I told you that Steven, and I…?”
“Oh!” Her hands ripped from Charlie’s, and her fingers fluttered to her mouth, as her face flushed with the proof of her humiliation. “Oh, oh. Oh.”
She seemed stunned beyond words, as she obviously contemplated a hundred different little clues she’d missed over a decade. Finally, her eyes narrowed, and she said, “Your letters, you always were mentioning an endless string of girls - a Miss Valentina, a Miss Ana, a Miss Galinda, and on and on.”
“I never said what my actions or intentions were regarding them,” Charlie said, and smiled grimly. “You read into these descriptions what you liked. All of them were real girls, but most of them were entirely meaningless.”
Most?
Severus’ eyes narrowed at Charlie, who seemed to be dodging Severus’ gaze.
What the hell, Severus decided, he would write to Lucius whether Charlie liked it or not. It was evident at this point that Charlie may have dabbled in an extracurricular or two, and while Severus never had imagined it before, he was not fool enough to pretend the writing wasn’t on the wall.
What it meant for their future, Severus was quite certain it wasn’t the end for them. Charlie was his whole world, and had made enormous sacrifices to be with him this past decade. At another point in his life, Severus would have felt too deeply betrayed to continue. But there was no doubt in his mind that regardless of any transgressions, Charlie loved him. These were hairpin fractures in a relationship that was otherwise so solid as to be untoppleable, in his mind. He was petty, though, and felt the need to get the tiniest bit of revenge.
Molly seemed disinclined to probe, given the overwhelming mess of information.
“I can’t believe I have been such a fool,” she whispered, and then with a choke of tears, she rushed to embrace Charlie. “My poor, poor darling.”
It was Charlie who was sobbing loudest in the room, though.
“It’s alright, mum,” Charlie said, and pressed a kiss on their mother’s cheek. “Really. It’s alright.”
“I can’t believe it,” Molly kept saying, still stuck, “how I treated poor, poor Fred… you were just thinking how awful a mother I was, weren’t you? Oh darling. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how you must have felt. So unloved…”
Charlie’s response came in quietly, “Mum, I never doubted you loved me. I knew you’d come round.” “Oh, I suppose so, you sweet boy. My sweetest and kindest of boys.”
This rankled Severus, and perhaps this distemper caused her attention to flutter towards him.
“Oh, and how cruel you must think me, Steven.” She immediately rose and didn’t even ask to wrap herself awkwardly around him as he sat in his chair. “Can you ever forgive me? I’m sure you were just seething, seeing what I was saying to Charlie.”
“I had every confidence in Charlie’s good sense in the matter,” Severus demurred, and only after saying this did he realize his voice was not the nasally accent of Steven Kittering, but his real voice, unmistakable even amid the other trappings of his unintentional disguise.
Molly Weasley turned white as a sheet of parchment. “Merlin help me. S-Severus S-S-Snape.”
It was futile to pretend otherwise at this point, so Severus eased himself up to standing. “Since it seems we’re in the midst of sharing secrets… yes, Molly. It’s me. I’m so sorry, given the circumstances.”
She may not have heard that apology before she fainted clean away, but it was the only one he intended to offer.
⸻⸻
Charlie was terrified that their mother had suffered a bump to the head, for once she awoke, she was dead silent, just staring at the two of them with wide eyes.
“I think she’s alright,” Severus mused, and went to boil them some fresh tea. “I see no evidence of contusion or edema.”
“I’m stunned to silence , is what I am,” snapped Molly Weasley, proving Severus satisfyingly correct. “Charlie was your student , Severus. Your student .”
“I pursued him, for what it’s worth, mum,” Charlie spoke up, their voice tense. It clearly displeased them to see the way their mum railed on Severus when Severus had done so much to try and operate with good sense. “He did his best to stay away from me, and I kept after him, since I knew he was who I wanted most in all the world.”
A flush of warmth filled Severus’ chest, and he cast a playful glare at Charlie. He left the kettle to boil and went back to his chair.
“Stuff and nonsense ,” Molly insisted, and kept badgering Severus. “How long has this been going on?”
“Since 1996,” said Severus succinctly, “and not a day earlier.”
Molly did a moment of calculation, then seemed deflated when it was clear that the named year was so long after Charlie’s graduation. “How? Why?”
“Accident,” Severus said, at the same moment that Charlie said, “What does it matter?” Molly chose to listen to Severus. “What kind of accident?” she hissed with suspicion.
Severus and Charlie shared a glance, neither sure where to go with this. Was this final piece of incendiary material worth throwing onto the fire? Would knowledge of their shared disease placate her, or further infuriate her?
“And how on earth did you get so massively fat ?” Molly went on, poking Severus seriously in the abdomen. He twisted away, wincing. She was testing to see if this was a glamor, and too sadly for him, it was not.
“Because he’s been sick , mother,” Charlie said - no, yelled.
Severus was impressed. He had never, in his memory, heard Charlie Weasley raise their voice.
It made the jab from Molly all the sweeter. Charlie was defending him. What a delicious surprise. Lucius would never do such a thing.
Molly rounded on Charlie, mouth agape. “We both have been,” Charlie elaborated, evidentially deciding, in for a penny, in for a pound. “We met at St. Mungo’s in 1996. You know the healer who is known as Dr. Chandri?”
The moments ticked by as Molly grasped for memory, and then her eyes widened and her mouth opened, and she uttered a horrified scream.
“Oh. No. No! ”
“Mum, I’m fine,” Charlie exclaimed, but she threw herself at him, a thoroughly devastated wreck of a woman. “I’m fine. We take medications, and we are fine .”
“No,” she screamed, “My baby boy! My firstborn!” and Severus was ever so glad for their being so far out in the woods. “ No! ”
“Methinks it’s time for an herbal soother, Sev,” Charlie said, from beneath the strangling of their absolutely hysterical mother.
Severus couldn’t get to his potions cabinet fast enough.
⸻⸻-
She was sedated with some cannibinoids soon enough, and laying in Charlie’s bed. Charlie and Severus sat before the fire, passing their own indica cigarette back and forth. “That was unbearably awful,” Charlie whispered, tears streaming down their face.
“It’s over now,” Severus murmured, and he placed a hand on Charlie’s knee. He felt like he couldn’t keep his hands off them since they put Molly to bed - the infidelity question be damned. “At least, the worst is.”
“I hope so.” Charlie took slow, deep breaths of the toke and coughed as it went down wrong. “I hate smoking.”
“I know.” Severus took the joint and shook off some flakes, and then took a very long drag. He fully intended to get high as hell tonight. “It mostly just makes me miss tobacco.”
“At least we’ve got that going for us, hm?” Charlie responded, and took Severus’ hand to kiss it. This plus the THC seemed to reset whatever karmic balance had been upset in Severus’ mind, and he relaxed all the more thoroughly. “I think I do owe you a bit of an apology, though,” Charlie said, and sighed. “I did fuck someone else late last year, and I shouldn’t have.”
Severus nodded, having expected this. “Who?”
Charlie sighed even more sadly. “It was stupid. I feel bad about it mostly because it was a girl. Her name was Nadya. It was a handful of times. The letters from my mum, regarding Fred… they shook me. I was feeling like, maybe I should just try being with a girl again. Just to see.”
There was a deep pathos in their voice, and Severus knew he had already forgiven poor Charlie. But he wanted to know whatever Charlie wanted to tell him, so he kept quiet.
“She was visiting family and returning to Moscow. It felt like a risk-free endeavor: I could see if I liked it, and if I did, I would try and figure out what to do next.”
Severus contemplated this, and tried not to imagine what Charlie envisioned doing next. “Were you safe with her?”
Charlie jolted. “What do you take me for, Sev? I’m no Typhoid Mary. Merlin.” “The question merits asking, if it was spontaneous encounters.”
Charlie nodded. “Fair. I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.”
Severus nodded, and closed his eyes. He waited for further elaboration, but there was none forthcoming.
“You have been too good to me, Charlie,” he finally said. “I know this because, regardless of whether or not you enjoyed this… sex with Nadya… it doesn’t make a fig of difference in terms of how I feel about the situation.”
Charlie breathed. “What do you mean?”
A smile and feeling of peace seemed to overwhelm Severus, and while true it was in significant part the cannabis, it was an augmentation of his actual feelings. “It doesn’t matter to me. I know you love me. I know you wouldn’t abandon me. I have never felt this cared for, my whole life - and even if you were to decide it was all over, so you could be with a woman, I could be content with that. You have been more to me than any single other soul, and there’s nothing I can imagine that could tarnish that.”
Severus was interrupted by a snotty noise, and he saw that Charlie was crying.
“I hated it,” Charlie said, and laughed bitterly. “I mean, it was fine, Nadya was lovely and all, and I even enjoyed her feminine points. She was beautiful, and hypnotic, and I have to be clear with myself, after this experience —- I guess I’m at least partly bisexual. But I hated what it meant for us, and for you, Sev. I didn’t want to treat you like that. I love you beyond what I can articulate in words, and this whole thing with her, it felt so paltry and stupid in comparison.”
Severus nodded, having felt all of this in his heart already, and he leaned over and kissed Charlie dearly.
Charlie was his , through and through, and nothing would change that.
“Let’s get to bed,” he said, dashing the remainder of the blunt on the ashtray. “We‘re getting too maudlin to stay conscious.”
“Silly man,” said Charlie with a happy sound, and the pair made their way to Severus’ bedroom.
⸻⸺
A few days later, Severus was trying out his broom again, and Charlie was alongside him.
“There we are, beautiful takeoff,” Charlie affirmed as they threaded through the air. “How did it feel?”
“Like it took a week to recover from the last instance, and is going to take a week to recover from this instance,” Severus grumbled, but he remembered he needed to unstiffen his hands. He shook them one at a time, sending the tension elsewhere, and then his grip felt looser and more in control.
“That’s my good lad,” Charlie answered, and he threw an air-kiss to Severus.
Severus, too nervous to let go, smiled in response, and followed Charlie down into the forest for a landing.
They stopped there in a clearing, the place eerily quiet compared to the rushing of air whilst flying.
“I think your mum will be alright,” Severus said, trying to catch his breath at the same time. It was the first time they’d had privacy all week, as Molly had temporarily taken up residence in the cottage. She was supposed to leave tomorrow, but it was evident that Charlie was nervous about it actually happening. “I think she’ll be able to return home. And I do think she’ll try that psychological healer recommended by Dr. Chandri. I dare say they could be helpful with the kinds of concerns she is having with your Da.’”
Charlie seemed unconvinced, but also unwilling to speculate too much. “I hope so,” they said, and closed their eyes to breathe in the forest air. “I feel so smothered.”
“You’re not the one who has to sit with her all day,” joked Severus, and this elicited a chuckle from Charlie.
“You’re such a wonderful sport about all this,” Charlie said, and offered their hand to Severus. “Thank you.”
“Just remember this in ten years, when my mum moves in,” Severus added with a baleful grin.
“I imagine Miss Eileen will be rather quieter than Mrs. Weasley,” Charlie elaborated, knowing full well that Severus’ mother’s bed was six feet underground. “I just hope the neighbors don’t find it too peculiar that we put her bed in the flower garden.”
“I don’t think the squirrels will mind too much,” Severus answered, and the two of them made eye contact.
Severus was drawn by the warmth of those blue eyes, so intense and magical and beloved to him.
“I have been thinking,” Severus added, a lump in his throat, “we should have a kind of ceremony, like Fred and Toshi.”
Charlie’s face flushed, and they nodded vigorously. “I’d like that,” they said, and pressed themself against Severus with that whole-hearted embrace that made Severus feel so cared for.
Their connection was severed by a shout in Romanian, and the sound of a screeching baby dragon.
“Shit,” Charlie declared, and mounted their broom in a flurry. “Wait here, Sev,” they warned, drawing their wand, “I think we’ve stumbled on the fucking poachers.”
“Merlin.”
Severus didn’t sit and wait though, instead getting on his own broom, holding his breath, and leaping into the air, for the first time in years feeling somewhat capable driving the stick.
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May 1, 2014
The Daily Prophet
MARRIAGE ANNOUNCEMENTS
On the date of April 28, 2014, marriage of Charlie Weasley (firstborn to Arthur and Molly Weasley) to their partner and self-proclaimed husband of over 18 years, Steven Kittering (only child of Eileen, sadly deceased 1976). While Charlie and Steven live primarily in Romania (working as dragonologists on the preserve there), they wished to exercise the legal right for same-sex couples to marry as established last month in the UK. The ceremony was conducted at the home of Arthur and Molly Weasley, and Rasheeda Jenkins. Others in attendance at the private ceremony included Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, Bill and Fleur Weasley with their six children, Fred and Toshi Weasley- Hojima, Ronald Weasley, Harry and Ginny Potter with their three children, Hermione Granger (formerly Weasley) and her two children. The couple also wishes to honor the memory of their close friend, Dr. Raman Chandri, deceased 2013, a noted pioneer in the development of hybrid magical / Muggle treatments for HIV. Reception was held at the Rue Decatur in Diagon Alley.
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