Madness within
That evening was majestic; the weather, the function and Sirius Black. She had fun, the one she thought belonged to the fictional world. They talked and then admired the sky together. Sirius was all about the sky, just like Regulus. Must be a Black family thing. Inturn, Amara commented on flowers of Lestrange garden, something her side of family adored.
Amara's face was glowing like a bulb, just like Sirius' during the conversation. Her face mirrored her mind. The heat of the conversation that still sweetly nagged her heart nurtured her smile that it grew to be a big blooming flower. Everything seemed perfect at that moment. The disagreements didn't even crossed her mind.
Her heart was filled with Hogwarts, more than ever. Maybe because the reality is sooner than ever.
Curse Sirius, he made it sound like paradise, curse Sirius, because he made her want to meet his friends too and curse Sirius, because she was dying to see what the infamous muggle-borns of hogwarts were about. Hogwarts sounded crazy from the point of view of Sirius Black and she loved that new.
The Fawleys returned home after the long night but they weren't really about to sleep, she knew. It is the time where the whispers and talks of the crowd are made loud to the family. It has became a second nature of the Fawley family, another way of letting their children know where they stand. It is counted as a quality time they all have as a family.
Eilam looked really tired, not a wonder, by the amount of socializing he did. He took a deep breathe on the scene of the living room and sat on the couch next to mother. He is usually the social butterfly, with cards of charms up his sleeves.
He looked really weary today, probably from talking to Clarisse Lestrange from France for the first time. Merlin knows why he looked like a lost puppy during their conversation, which he rarely was.
"The Lestrange's Mansion looks more sophisticated, don't you think?" Melania started.
"They probably redecorated for the arrival of their French extensions. I certainly saw some influences of a Black in there. Quite magnificent, yes. Bellatrix might have had a say in it." Silas said, looking quite interested.
"Bellatrix looks quite splendid with the Lestranges, don't you think? Good for her, she found a great family. Born powerful and chose powerful. Finally. I did not quite expect that they will take that long for the wedding. " Melania spoke with a certain sharpness to her words which did not make any sense in the conversation but the listeners understood.
Her voice softened in a split second addressing her son. "Eilam dear, how was your chat with Ms. Lestrange? She is quite an extraordinary witch!"
"She was a nice girl, yeah, and, uh quite extraordinary. She likes quidditch and she likes it here in Britian, that's about it i guess? Oh well... she seemed quite interested in our family and let me know about her family too. They sounds...uhh well...nice?"
"Splendid! She is a wonderful witch, top of her year, i heard! She would be a great acquaintance for us. Lestrange family in France is just as strong as ours but they are getting weaker, yes. Dimitri Lestrange hinted their plan to move here, you know, we are not sure yet, but i do suspect that. Why else would he be here? Eilam mentioned Clarisse's liking of Britian too! It might mean something." Melania adduced in a cheerful way.
"Yes, yes, quite beautiful, would make a lovely pair for the scion of Fawley. Clearly both parties are interested. If that makes our son happy then we-"
Silas was interrupted by his appalled son.
"Why don't we give it some time? I shall think about it further more after my education is complete, i wish to put my concentration into it this year, OWLS are really important for my future. So, can i request more time? We have plenty of time to discuss my post- education life."
"Good choices have to be picked first. We should be quick about these arrangements if you want the best. Look at your sister! Her life is well planned already. She won't have to worry about choices anymore. It is our duty as parents to assure that you are given the best choices possible."
"She might visit Britian next year. I shall talk to her more-"
"Next year?! Isn't that too far?"
"Absolutely." Melania nodded.
"Not really. She is having her 6th year exams this year too! We don't want her to fail them, do we? One at a time. Also I want to know her more before making the big decisions."
"Dear, don't be choosy. How many pureblooded noble girls do we find around here anymore? What would we do, end up with someone like the Weasleys as the in-laws? Others would have an eye on her too! We should be prepared for the future. Listen to us. We definitely would not want anything bad towards our children, would we?"
He murmured an approval.
"Is that a yes?!"
"Yes, yes if you want . But only talks. You know how important this year is for me. If that is okay with you, i am ready. And all the further steps towards my life will be arranged after my final year."
"Ofcource! You know we want the best for both of you!" Melania hugged her son with a pouring joy. Silas stood and did the same.
"You know, the Macmillans doesn't stand a chance against our kid. Look at him! He got his charms from his father. " Silas was roaring with laughter.
A marriage alliance is in plan. Just like that. Can this day get any wilder than this?
Amara was processing all the scenes that she just witnessed. A wedding is in theory. Her parents looked overjoyed. Ofcourse, it is their dream moment, they waited long for this. Her brother's life is being planned into motion like hers has been.
Parents were searching for a suitable pair for years. Given Melanie's judging gossips about every single people she knew, it was always a struggle. It's like they were ranking candidates.
A lot has been going on that Amara was staring at the wall for possibly a solid minute. She had a smile, in behalf of his brother.
As she snapped out of her absent-minded thoughts, she found that she was the only person smiling in that room. Father and mother were engaged in other desired topics of their usual conversations and Eilam looked like he has been kissed by a dementor. It was evident that he too, was processing all that happened. But there weren't a smile blooming on his face as Amara expected.
Only Merlin knows when the conversations slipped into Sirius Black. She wasn't listening to her parents' chats, neither was Eilam.
But she was soon snapped out of her mind when she heard the name.
"Between Walburga and I, she was saying how worried she was about Sirius, you know, being sorted into Gryfindor and all. Poor her, she isn't snapped out of the shock that the news caused her. "
"Funny, Orion did not mention him. Nothing."
"There is nothing to worry about though, Walburga mentioned that there weren't anything unusual about him. After all, he can't forget where he came from. William was in gryfindor and he turned out fine!"
"You can't blame that woman, she might be worried, that's what mothers do. You are worried sick about our kids eventhough they grew up great!" Silas chuckled.
"Sirius looked a bit more chatty in my opinion. Maybe the party-ness of gryfindor might have influenced him, a bit?"
"Its the Hogwarts. I remember you being all shy when you were young. Now look at you. Surely, It is because of Hogwarts," Silas laughed again.
" You know, uh he said he liked gryfindor. He mentioned that his friends aren't that bad either. Then it must not be that bad, right?" Amara added something she was sure of. The atmosphere became silent for a minute.
"Ofcourse, there is nothing wrong with the house Gryfindor or having fun, but it is the people in it. The mudbloods unworthy of the magic, they terrorised our ancestors and now they are mingling with us? Atrocious! And the blood traitors. They betrayed our own kind to support those who does not deserve their help. Imagine being with them, yes, i know child, terrible. But Slytherin on the other hand, pure. Like us. Family. That is why we are in Slytherin for generations. Because we're pure and we hold the true traditions close to us. Dear, there is no doubt you will be in the house of Salazar."
"Yes" Why did i even interfered with their conversation...
"Now dear, Sirius Black is different." Melania added. "He is a Gryfindor, yes, but it is still the blood of noble and ancient house of Black that is running through him. He will know his kind. He is a smart kid. He is the next Lord of the house of Black. Do not underestimate him. There is no turning back on both our family's blooming relationship, don't worry dear. If anything wrong occurs, he will know his way back."
"Do not worry mother. I were not planning to shatter my life just like that. I'm not fragile." She assured her.
But the way they are saying these things had been getting really heavy.
"It's quite late. Why don't both of you go and rest? Off to bed." Both of the children left for bed without another word.
Amara was ready to sleep but a sound of apparition from her brother's room caught her attention. She left for his room to find out the reason he needed their house-elf at midnight. She was meaning to have a chat with him but he looked like he could use some space. Maybe he could use some company. She knocked on his door which was soon opened by Eilam himself. He was alone in there. She must have left then.
"Holly was here? I thought i heard something."
"Oh yes, she was here with some water."
"Are you okay? You didn't look well before either."
"Don't you feel angry that your life is already being planned, that you are not allowed to live your life?"
"Well, i certainly am living."
"Not like that idiot, every choices you make, their choice. For everything. Our future, our own family, own passions, our friends...everything is already planned...and we are just acting according to the script. "
"Was Clarisse Lestrange that bad?" Amara chuckled. "and everyone keeps telling me that she is extraordinary."
"She is extraordinary. She is too extraordinary for my liking." he replied. "I hope she likes France more, i hope she is allergic to the British air. I hope she finds a deathly charming noble French man."
"You should give her a chance maybe? You just met her. She might be nice...maybe she needs more time to adjust? Our parents look quite confident in Ms. Lestrange."
"Yes! We just met and we're gonna live rest of our lives together? I wish mother and father understood me better. I feel like all they care about is their reputation and rank among the families. I thought I was clear about my dislike toward Lestrange. Wasn't I clear enough Amara?"
"You were clear enough Eilam. You were brave and bold enough to your parents. They did not see your point, i suppose, maybe, is it too bad to talk to her?"
"I am going to get some sleep. Good night Amy." Eilam was shutting down the conversation. Amara sighed.
He really do hate her. She must be that bad then. Or he has his solid reasons.
"Let's really hope that Macmillans or Travers get to her first or something. We have an year. And i will be there soon. We will figure it out, together. You should focus on your OWLS though! I don't want my brother to be an academic failure. "
He hugged her. She did not even mention anything that might ruin the wedding or proposal. He needed that hope. He needed someone on his side, he needed to know that someone will try to understand.
Amara will try, definitely, right?
"But can i know if there are any particular reason or reasons why you want to decline Clarisse? If that is okay for me to know? A lover, perhaps?" She inquired.
"No! Nothing like that. Its just that, i don't like her, i would not be happy with her. And i want my own choice to be valued when the event is my life. Neither father's, nor mother's, mine."
"Very well then" Amara did not understood his reason. But he seemed quite strong in his reason, she believed him. He must have other reasons, she was quite sure. Well, we will find out about it, soon.
"You will understand me very soon Amara, believe me. Give it some time, maybe 2 years? You're about to start one of the biggest chapters of a magical child's life. Hogwarts is great, and it will teach you the things about life other than magic. You would not have parents whispering what to do and what not to constantly. You will soon learn, if you are ready." Eilam continued.
"My tip ? Don't resist it, try to change and do not cling on to our own beliefs. It might resist the change" Eilam looked serious, he had a warm smile plastered on his face.
"I didn't knew Hogwarts changed you this much, wow. Well, this must be a change that happened last year...You can't tell me that nothing happened. I don't want to pressure you into saying either. You can share, when you are ready, well, when you think i am ready."
"But i am not the only person that Hogwarts changed, am I ? Sirius Black looked pretty different too, if you ask me. You noticed it too, and you liked it, right? I wish you will open your eyes as soon as possible too. Like Sirius...
And they are not bad, Gryfindors and Hufflepuffs. You will be surprised, they aren't that bad as you think."
"I shall keep it in my mind. Thank you."
"You shouldn't be pressured to take a choice that is forced upon you. You are young and you responds like a secretary of the state who has witnessed two wars. We all kind of do, don't you think? We are forced to grow up faster than the others. We are the part of a cycle, it is not good. Don't we deserve to be normal, too?"
"We are not normal! We are not like the others. We should be better than others. You sound like them, you know? And you scare me. If you disappear again—"
"You will understand soon. Please Amara, can you promise me? Don't hold on too hard. Go to Hogwarts and try learning something. Not just spells and Potions but life. Try for me? "
She sighed. "I promise."
He worried her. There better be a good explanation for this madness. He wasn't the . So she wanted to give him a chance to show her, later. Or she will find about it soon, as she will be closer to him in a month.
"Good night then" There ended the conversation and now it is time for them to rest. Well Amara felt like, neither of them will sleep that night . She certainly would not. Enough quality family time for that day.
******
Eilam waited for minutes after his sister left to call for help again.
He believed in her...he did. He hoped that what he shared would not reach another soul, for his own good. He hoped she won't tell any soul.
Merlin, what's wrong with him? He did not know it himself.
It had to be out anyways. Now that it is out, he would think t that it would leave him with peace but all he got was that anxiety dancing in his belly. He could not let that out. It made him angry, it made him want to do whatever to stop it, the madness within was slowly eating up in internal organs, slowly aiming to stop his heart.
He hoped for a peaceful sleep which was not an easy goal to reach. He felt the past exhaustion leaving his body, he felt empty.
"Holly" A small elf popped into of existence upon hearing her name.
"Yes sir, what can holly do for you now?"
"I want another dose" he demanded.
"Holly can give you no more sir. Master Fawley had enough."
"I order for more."
"Master-" Holly sighed and apparated away. Soon she came back with Eilam's demanded drink.
"Thank you Holly" he took the potion from her and drank it in a hurry.
"Master took enough to sleep a whole day! Master took enough!"
"Holly calm down. Low your voice before Amy shows up again! Please. Other dose drained away, i wasn't feeling it at all. I needed this. You want me to feel better right, Holly? " he assured her.
"Rest, sir and call Holly if sir needs holly"
"Ofcourse. Thank you Holly. Good night. "
"Good night sir" With that Holly left leaving Eilam to rest. He closed his eyes exhaustion slowly carrying him to sleep. Eilam slept well that day as he wanted while his sister couldn't.