What id pre algebra?
"Wait wait wait" started James, moving his hands about and looking around the room. "What is pre algebra?"
The demigods looks bewildered.
"You don't know what pre algebra is?" Asked Frank
The purebloods shook their heads, looking a bit embarrassed.
"Its a type of maths." Answered Anita, facing the wizards. "We don't learn subjects like math or English in Hogwarts, just transfiguration, potions, stuff like that." She directed to the demigods in a nonchalant tone.
"Thank you for explaining that, now to get on with the chapter" spoke up Dumbledore, seemingly amused with the whole situation. Severus couldn't understand how he was so laid back about everything that was happening, a bunch of demigods were in the castle and Dumbledore didn't seem the slightest bit worried. [Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life. Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways. If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.]
"It gets you killed?!"
The room turned to face Lucius Malfoy.
"You told us it was nothing to worry about." He said enraged, pointing an accusing finger at Severus.
"It is nothing to worry about!" Squawked Severus.
"The book just said, and I quote, 'it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways'. That sounds worrying to me." Regulus said, arms crossed.
"Well, we're still alive!" Yelled Severus.
Lucius opened his mouth to retort but was cut off by Dumbledore.
[But if you recognize yourself in these pages — if you feel something stirring inside — stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you. Don't say I didn't warn you. My name is Percy Jackson.]
Percy blushed and tried to hide behind Annabeth.
[I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid?]
"Yep." Said Jason.
"Most definitely." Chimed in Hazel.
"Without a shadow of a doubt." Said Anita.
"Hey! I'm really not that bad!"
[Yeah. You could say that.] Read Dumbledore.
The demigods all fell into a fit of giggles, including Severus, the marauders were surprised, they had never seen Severus laugh before, let alone giggle. They were starting to think the slytherin didn't have the vocal cords needed to laugh.
[I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan — twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.]
Annabeth and Lily, sat up, finding the idea of going to a museum enticing.
[I know — it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.]
The two girls looked defeated before shooting glaring looks at the son of poseidon.
[But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes. Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep. I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble. Boy, was I wrong.]
Hazel sighed and shook her head. "What happened?"
"You don't wanna know." Replied Percy.
Sirius shook his head "It can't have been that bad surely."
"Did you not read the Chapter name Black? 'I vaporized my pre algebra teacher'. What do you think happened?" Sneered Severus.
"That's quite enough children." Spoke up Dumbledore. [See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway. And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. And the time before that . . . Well, you get the idea. This trip, I was determined to be good.]
Percy laughed. "As you can probably guess, that didn't go to plan."
Frank snorted. "Understatement of the century?"
"Oh yeah."
[All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.]
Narcissa gagged. "That ... is ... disgusting."
[Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.]
"Hehe, Grovers awesome."
"He really is" replied Percy, always happy to compliment his first real friend.
[Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.]
Anita looked at the marauders. "Sounds like a person I know, or people should I say."
The marauders gave her nasty looks in return, very offended that they were compared to Nancy Bobofit.
["I'm going to kill her," I mumbled. Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter." He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.]
"Kill her, kill her, kill her." Whispered Nico, eyes closed and fingers crossed.
["That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat. "You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens." Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into. Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.]
Nico, Severus and Percy all booed. Annabeth gave Percy an unimpressed look, Will gave Nico an annoyed look and Anita cheered Severus on.
[He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.]
Once again, Lily and Annabeth sat up in interest.
[He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye. Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown. From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after- school detention for a month.]
Bellatrix shivered. "She sounds like that 7th year, whats her name? Always wearing pink and unbearable."
"Oh Umbridge." Answered Regulus, slapping his hand back and forth across her arm in excitement.
"Oh god, can you imagine her as a teacher."
[One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right." Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art. Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?]
"Now she's really starting to sound like some people I know." Spoke up Anita.
[It came out louder than I meant it to. The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story. "Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"]
"Aww not cool Chiron." Said Severus.
"Who?" Questioned Remus.
"You'll see." Replied Will.
[My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir." Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?" I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"]
The wizards and witches grimaced.
"He didn't actually eat his kids did he?" Questioned Peter, looking scared.
"Of course he did." Said Annabeth as if it was common knowledge.
"But why?"
"Why wouldn't he?" Replied Nico with a sinister smile, watching as Peter went from scared to horrified.
["Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because . . ." "Well ..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and — " "God?" Mr. Brunner asked. "Titan," I corrected myself. "And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters —"]
The wizards and witches all looked horrified now.
"And I though you know who was bad." Whispered James.
"Who?" Asked Jason.
"Its a long story." Sighed Severus.
["Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me. " — and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won." Some snickers from the group.]
"What part of that is funny?! Its horrifying." Said Lily bewildered.
[Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"]
Most the people in the room rolled their eyes, all in agreement that Nancy Bobofit sucked.
Severus noticed that even the marauders seemed to have a hatred towards her, which he thought was ironic.
["And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?" "Busted," Grover muttered. "Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.]
Snickers were heard from everyone, even McGonagall had a hand covering her mouth and took joy in Nancy getting busted.
[At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears. I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir." "I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"]
Regulus shook his head. "Woah whys he busting your ass? Just because you couldn't answer a question?"
Percy shrugged. "At the time it was annoying but I understand why he did it now."
[The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses. Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson." I knew that was coming. I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?" Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go — intense brown eyes that could 've been a thousand years old and had seen everything. "You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me. "About the Titans?" "About real life. And how your studies apply to it." "Oh." "What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."]
"The guy sounds like a douch." Said Sirius.
"Mr Black!" Shouted McGonagall.
"No, Chirons great really." Replied Severus.
"Snivellus we're talking about Mr Brunner, not this random guy you keep bringing up."
Severus just rolled his eyes and Narcissa reached across to smack her younger cousin across the head.
[The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue. Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.]
The demigods looked nervous, each of them knowing what was going to come next.
[I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends — I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists — and dumped her half -eaten lunch in Graver's lap. "Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos. I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.]
"Kill her, kill her." Repeated Nico once again.
"Oooohh its getting to the good bit!" Exclaimed Anita.
[I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!" Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.]
Everyone did a mini cheer until Mrs Dodds was mentioned.
[Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see — " "—the water—" " — like it grabbed her — " I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.]
"Wait? Water? So you guys have like powers or something?" Asked Remus.
"Ehhh ... something like that." Said Frank.
[As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey — " "I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks." That wasn't the right thing to say. "Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.]
"Dont do it!"
"No Percy!"
"Oh dear ..."
All the demigods exclaimed and shook their heads, knowing the probability of Mrs Dodds being who she claimed to be was low.
["Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her." I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death. She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled. "I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said. "But—" "You — will — stay — here." Grover looked at me desperately. "It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."]
"At least he tried." Said Percy.
[Except for us, the gallery was empty. Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling. Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it . . . "You've been giving us problems, honey," she said. I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am." She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?" The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil. She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me. I said, "I'll— I'll try harder, ma'am." Thunder shook the building. "We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain." I didn't know what she was talking about.]
"What is that crazy old bat talking about?" Muttered Sirius.
["Well?" she demanded. "Ma'am, I don't . . ." "Your time is up," she hissed. Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons. Then things got even stranger. Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.]
Everyone was silent, waiting for Dumbledore to continue.
["What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air. Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.]
"What the hell is a pen going to do?!" Asked Bellatrix, bewildered.
"This pen?" Asked Percy, pulling it out of his pocket with a cheeky grin.
[With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword — Mr. Brunner 's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day. Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes. My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword. She snarled, "Die, honey!" And she flew straight at me. Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword. The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss! Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me. I was alone.]
"No ... way." Muttered James.
"You killed your teacher." Whispered Lucius.
"Thats kinda badass." Said Bellatrix, getting a concerned look from McGonagall.
[Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt." I said, "Who?" "Our teacher. Duh!"]
"She hasn't been mentioned before."
"Cus she wasn't there before."
[I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about. She just rolled her eyes and turned away. I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was. He said, "Who?" But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me. "Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious." Thunder boomed overhead. I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved. I went over to him.]
"Has everyone gotten amnesia!" Yelled a fed up Narcissa Black.
[He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson." I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it. "Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"]
"Good, surely he'll know whats going on." Said Lily, finally looking less agitated.
[He stared at me blankly. "Who?"]
"What the fuck?!" Yelled Lily, getting a very stern look from McGonagall.
"Miss Evans, language!"
["The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher." He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"] Dumbledore closed the book. "And that is the end of that chapter." He said, smiling.
"That was a fever dream." Said Regulus.
"Wait so was Mrs Dodds real or are you crazy?" Asked Sirius, directing his question to Percy.
"Oh she was Dam real." Snickered Percy.
"Uggggh nooooo, not this again." Groaned Severus.
"Dam Sev, there's no need to get upset." Giggled Anita.
"I hate you both"