Unearth
Ma Coraline non vuole mangiare, no
Sì, Coraline vorrebbe sparire
E Coraline piange
Coraline ha l'ansia
Coraline vuole il mare ma ha paura dell'acqua
James Potter spent his weekend working. The only reason as to why he chose his line of work was because he got to pick and choose when to work, and often he just finished everything on the weekends, leaving the rest of the week empty. Most of the time he would put on a jazz album and he would sit on the couch with his laptop and keyboard, editing away. He spent the whole Saturday trying to finish the second chapter of Evans’ book, which proved to be a little difficult. Evan made a lot of spelling errors along with repetitions, and having to rewrite everything correctly took James the whole day. He woke up around 6, something he has been able to do naturally since middle school. He made himself enough coffee to kill a victorian child and some granola with yoghurt, then he spent the next eight hours writing obsessively, not minding anything that was happening around him. The second chapter of the book began talking about both terminology and a teenagers experience with ballet, there was a specific fragment that James was really fond of:
So, we’ve already discussed the general things a young dancer would have to go through, being away from home and having strict teachers and all, but the part that most people choose to ignore is the negativity that ballerinas are thought about since their first years in dance classes. Instead of saying “I did good!” Most girls are encouraged to instead point out their mistakes, because according to teachers, the more critical you are with yourself the quicker you will improve. This specific aspect can be really discouraging to new dancers, picture this: you see one of your favourite ballerinas post themselves dancing and you find it incredible, knowing you would probably never achieve their level, just then you read the caption. It will almost always be something like “my arches are horrible” or “I have super bad turnout”. Dancers who start later than others are usually embarrassed to perform in front of more advanced ones, because they don't want to be made fun of. Seeing these posts makes them feel like even the little things they can do well will never compare to anyone.
The constant negativity shown in the media is widely spread in schools. Almost every professional I've interviewed while writing this book has agreed that growing up they have lost the ability to say “I performed nicely” instead, they always prefer to think of themselves as horrible dancers who urgently need to improve. This is the reason why most ballerinas experience burnout before their career even properly begins. Having to be able to do incredibly challenging and exhausting exercises while also dancing for long hours and being expected to not pass a certain weight while eating healthy and taking care of your studies at the age of 10 is the precise definition of stress.
“You could have 100 problems before you start ballet, after you begin those problems will triple.”
James found this part rather interesting because he had never thought of it this way. Whenever he was at ballet he found himself thinking about how fun it is, he never really paid attention to the things he needed to improve with such a serious attitude. After reading he couldn't help but wonder if Regulus felt the same way, if he also hated himself more than he loved himself. Reading this and thinking about how well Regulus balanced everything during middle school while also hiding the fact that he was doing ballet from Walburga made James feel a bit bad, as if he never really paid attention to what Regulus had been feeling.
After editing everything, around 2PM when he finished James was suddenly starving. He wanted to go out and eat (since he really hated cooking at home with whatever leftovers he had) so he texted Sirius to ask if he wanted to meet.
“Hiya! Wanna grab lunch, Padfoot? I'm starving. I've been working all morning” he texted.
“ok, where do u wanna go?” he responded quickly. The way Sirius didn't capitalise his messages most of the time made James pretty mad.
“That one pasta place near me maybe?”
“oke. see you there in ten!”
And it was settled. James got dressed in whatever he was able to find, putting together a decent fit (it's not like Sirius would complain or anything). Once they arrived they both sat down at their usual table to order the same thing they have been ordering since they first discovered the restaurant. The service was always extremely quick and since the waiter knew them they placed their order quickly, having time to talk only while eating.
“So Padfoot, how are you? Calmed down a bit after last night?” James said as soon as their food had been brought out.
“Did you seriously make me leave my comfortable apartment to come discuss…that. I'm not speaking unless you pay” he said before smiling in a very playful way.
“I hate how you take advantage of the money that's spilling out of my wallet, fine. It's on me” James said before rolling his eyes, smiling back. “Now, tell me how you’re feeling”
“Hell yes! Free therapy and food!” Sirius laughed “Im okay Prongs I swear, don't know what got into me last night, I was just emotional or something I don't know.” he tucked his hair behind his ears. “I should really stop drinking…”
“Maybe stop smoking along with it. Anyway, I sent Regulus a text last night since you really freaked me out…he said he misses you too.” James felt the need to tell Sirius the truth, to tell him about how he’s been communicating with Regulus more than Padfoot thought.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why would you text him?? Give me your phone. I want to see what you wrote! You totally embarrassed me.” Sirius rushed to respond “Hold on you said he responded? And he said he missed me too? When the fuck? What the hell?” his face relaxed a bit while he took the time to really understand what James said. “Still! I'm supposed to be super cool and nonchalant, you made me seem like a massive twat! Also why did you text him just like that? Poof!” He did a small gesture with his hands to make James get the idea.
“Look, here’s my phone, I know you’re mad I just didn't know what to do..” James said, handing Sirius his phone who opened it with no issue since they knew each other's passwords for basically everything. “It was just the first thing that came to mind, I don't know”
They sat in silence for a short while, while Sirius slowly stared at the screen, reading each text carefully.
“Prongs what the fuck is this?” Padfoot broke the silence after a short bit of time, almost laughing at what he was reading. “He told you you’re pretty? You told him he’s pretty too? Are you mental? What the hell?” Sirius gave James an amused look, now seeming super mad.
Just then James Fleamont Potter realised what he had done. He could have just shown Sirius that one specific text instead of giving him the phone entirely. Prongs had made a mistake.
“Shit I dont remember doing that!” he lied “Lemme see-” he tried to take the phone back from Sirius.
“Don't even think about it, I'm not done reading.” Padfoot said, giving James a scary glance and sitting a bit more carefully to make sure Prongs couldn't snatch the phone from his hands.
James resorted to sitting quietly in his seat, like a little kid who got punished for not doing his homework.
“Oh I am so mad at you you have no idea…” Sirius said after scrolling for a while, clearly disappointed. “So…you guys are friends I guess?” he looked up from the phone, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah…I know I promised not to talk to him it's just- I don’t know I’m sorry Padfoot.” James did not know what to say. He realised his mistake far too late.
“How often do you see him? Monday obviously because apparently he can't wait to meet you then and so can you, and when else?” Sirius was mad now, James could hear it in his voice. “And I suppose that’s where your jacket went since you very obviously asked him to give it back to you.” he set the phone down on the table for a short while.
“I- um. Monday is a new thing, usually it’s just um-” James was stuttering, he felt incredibly ashamed. “Monday, Wednesday and Friday,” he said. “And yes we hung out once and he had to walk to the theatre and it was cold and I don't know Padfoot, I'm sorry.”
Sirius ran his hands through his hair again, leaning his head back to take a deep breath before cracking his knuckles .
“I want to talk to him.” he eventually said.
“About what? Sirius, you're scaring me.” James had no idea what was going on through his head, Padfoot always had this sort of secrecy to him, everytime he had an idea it was either going to ruin him or make him the best version of himself.
“I will try, I guess it's unavoidable. Since you’re talking to him and he seems to really like you and he’s back in London and-” he took a small breath before continuing “and he said he misses me. I think I can try.”
“Why won't you tell us what happened when you ran away? It would be so much easier that way Padfoot, I'm your best friend.” James was feeling exhausted from this conversation alone.
“You lot will hate me if I tell you, you're my only family left, well, sort of. But still I don't want to risk it. Will you let me meet Regulus or not?” Sirius fidgeted with his glove, the same way Regulus did with his rings. They were very similar but also different, or at least that’s what James thought.
“I finish class with him on Monday at six, if you want you could come pick me up and you guys can talk.” James responded. “Don't do anything extreme, I really like ballet y’know”
“Okay sure I won't shoot him or anything, anyway, I think that’s enough fighting for today. Let’s go.” Sirius tried to force a smile to his face, clearly still mad about the situation. The thing about him was well, he never truly let all of his anger go out at once. After each find a bit more would always be left in him, sizzling and bubbling in a way that Padfoot was always mad or bothered about something one way or another.
“I think we should talk. Why do you always avoid communication?” James tried to not anger him more.
“We’ll talk, just not now. I need time to think.”
“Sure..”
They ate the rest of the meal in silence. James spent that time thinking about his old texts with Regulus, since he didn't take his phone back from Sirius, he needed to remember what exactly angered him.
“Can I at least tell him he should be expecting you?” James asked, wiping his hand with a napkin.
“I suppose I should stop being cruel so alright, you can tell him. Can you tell me where you practice? I don't want to wait outside the theatre again” Sirius seemed to be a little more okay with the idea.
“Well, there's this hallway, just walk down till you find a specific room number, I'm not sure which room will be available so I'll just text you when I'm there.” James arranged his glasses a bit in an attempt to look Sirius in the eye.
“M’kay, got to go now Remus said that if I don't walk Buckbeak today he’s kicking me out” Sirius winked before standing up to leave, sliding James’ phone on the table for him to grab “I appreciate your honesty. Though it would have been better if you would have told me everything from the start.”
“Okay. Am I still going to be your best man?” James smiled.
“Of course! What sort of question is that?” Sirius put one hand on his shoulder to assure him, before waving goodbye and walking out.
*
*
*
James spent the rest of the weekend thinking about how Sirius’ conversation will go. He wasn't sure if letting him speak to Regulus out of nowhere would be a good idea or if Sirius was actually going to speak like a civilized person.
He rehearsed the exercises Regulus showed him along with his other stretches. James noticed a bit of progress in his flexibility, he could hold his leg at an estimated 110 degrees, which satisfied him for now. He even went out to impulsively buy a jazz album, he had a few already but he has been eyeing this one for quite some time. Thirteen pounds later, he now owned Kind of Blue by Miles Davis. For most jazz enthusiasts it is considered a staple in their collection, however James had never really enjoyed jazz with a lot of saxophone in it until recently, so he never bought it. He listened to it about three times on Sunday, feeling quite relaxed from the way it sounded.
Sometime during Sunday night James had remembered to text Regulus about Sirius’ idea, the conversation itself went pretty good (in his very unbiased opinion) :
Hey, are you free to talk for a bit? He texted, wanting Regulus to be able to respond as quickly as he texted.
Hi James! Sure wuts up? Regulus replied insanely quickly, with typos that bugged James like crazy,
So I'm assuming you remember the whole Sirius ordeal… he had no idea how to actually bring up the subject.
Yes! Regulus replied, the exclamation mark sort of threw James off. Was he happy or something? He had no idea.
So I talked to him, since it seemed sort of out of nowhere, he had this sort of burst? Anyway, we ended up having lunch and I might have given him my phone to look at our texts…I completely forgot about the other stuff he wasn't supposed to see though. He hoped Regulus understood what he meant.
Oh! Alright. Regulus replied.
Well long story short, he thinks that talking to you is unavoidable and he wants to come and have a short chat with you after we finish class on Monday…I guess he wants you guys to talk again? He didn't really elaborate so i'm not sure. James spent a long time writing that, making sure the wording was correct.
im actually quite glad! I guess well have to see what hes up to, I appreciate him taking the first step! anyway watcha up to? The way Regulus didn't capitalize letters or use apostrophes bothered James.
I'm so nervous! I have no idea what he wants to say and he can be sort of impulsive sometimes, I'm sure you of all people should know. I'm afraid y’know…don't want you guys to fight or something. he wrote, trying to get his emotion across.
When can you bring me more muffins? I finished the first batch! Regulus texted. James fully forgot about the muffin promise or whatever it was, he had to go out and buy some more ingredients for them,
Well not on Monday because of Sirius…Wednesday works right? He needed time to prepare them so he figured Wednesday was decent!
Im impatient but sure, I can wait until wednesday I suppose…also class on monday WILL be hard! Mark my words I made a list of corrections and im giving you all of those!
I think I saw some improvement in my flexibility today, not sure though I might just be going insane. James wanted to tell Regulus before he forgot.
Ill decide! See you Monday!
See you!
And just like that his whole Monday schedule sort of arranged itself. He finished editing everything for Evan just before bed, sending him the final file, waiting to see the pictures he wanted to include. All of the screen time gave Prongs a huge headache, making him absolutely exhausted by the time he finished his nightly routine and finally got to tuck into bed. He just hoped Monday would go according to plan.