Chapter 2
Mary woke up alone in the dorm room. Marlene had had quidditch practice which meant James did too, but, no Lily. She went to breakfast without Mary. Mary knew she shouldn’t have been surprised. She’d crossed a boundary. Lily was her friend, her friend who had a boyfriend for fucks sake. Why did Mary have to go and mess everything up?
Mary walked into the Great Hall and stood at the entrance for a moment. She took a deep breath as she saw Lily eating her breakfast. She sat next to Peter who was next to Lily in an attempt to give her space, that way lily wouldn’t have to be next to her or face her. Apparently, this wasn’t enough because as soon as Lily noticed Mary she got up stuttering an excuse about an assignment she forgot to submit nearly spilling her juice in the process.
“That was weird, right?” Peter asked
Mary looked to her shoes refusing to let her tears fall
“Shut up, Wormy,” Remus whispered
“Yeah. Weird,” Mary forced a smile, “Lily’s like that though. I, uh, wouldn’t think anything of it”
Sirius touched his ear, ‘what’s going on’
Mary closed her eyes and took a deep breath ‘Not here’
Sirius nodded. His concern for his friend made him too impatient to wait until they could get a moment alone. The two had charms in the first lesson, which both of them were doing well in. On Mary’s way to Flitwicks class an arm came out the wall grabbing her into a corridor she hadn’t known existed.
She couldn’t grab her wand in time so she simply gave her kidnapper un upper cut. “Fuck me, Macdonald.”
“Sirius?”
“Yes its me,” He groaned “Shit my nose. What the fuck?”
“I thought you were a murderer or some shit. What’s wrong with you,” Mary screamed bundling Sirius’ Cloak and holding it to his bleeding nose
“I wanted to speak to you.”
“So you decided to kidnap me?”
“I didn’t think you would punch me”
“You didn’t think, fullstop.”
Mary healed Sirius’s nose reluctantly, furious at his attempt to speak to her.
“Lets’s sit,” Sirius gestured to a couch that Mary hadn’t noticed. Mary didn’t even want to begin to question why Sirius put a couch in a hidden corridor - If he had tried to ‘talk’ to anyone else she didn't want to know. “So what’s going on with Evans”
“Merlin, Where do I even start?” Mary out her face in her hands. “I kissed her,” she explained. “She was going on and on about how James was perfect but something was off and you should have seen her. She thought there was something wrong with her because something was off in her relationship with James so I kissed her”
“Shit.”
“I know,” Mary sighed, “And I know I’m putting you in a terrible position because James is your best mate and he’s my mate too and I really hate myself for doing it and if I could take it back I would”
“Then take it back.”
“What?”
“Take it back. Tell lily it didn’t mean anything and say you’re sorry.”
“But-“
“Mary, I’m speaking to you, not as James’s mate, but as yours and nothing will come of this except heartbreak.”
“I know but-“
“No buts,” Sirius interrupted, “I know it’ll hurt but you can’t lose your friendship with Lily over this. You need to tell her it meant nothing. It needs to mean nothing.”
“You’re right,” Mary whispered.
Sirius wrapped his arm around her placing a soft kiss on her head. “Its okay to be hurt but you know it’s the right thing to do” Mary turned her head crying into his shoulder as her rubbed circles onto her back.
“It's gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”
———————
Next lesson was Transfiguration and, seeing as they sat next to each other, Mary was going to have to face Lily. The two sad awkwardly in silence as McGonagall taught the lesson. Neither one looking at the other. Until Mary finally got sick of the tension
“Can you meet me in the library after school, please,” She blurted, “I just- we need to talk. I-we-“
“Yeah,” Lily smiled softly. “I’ll see you there”
Mary secretly hoped Lily wouldn’t show up, terrified that the conversation wouldn’t go well, but she knew Lily stuck to her word, regardless of the circumstances and this time would be no different. Mary had rehearsed this conversation in her head so many times and still she didn’t know what to say. She and Lily stood awkwardly as Lily waited for Mary to speak. “I just wanted to say I'm sorry.” Mary finally found the strength to speak “I shouldn’t have kissed you and it doesn’t have to many anything. In fact, it doesn’t mean anything. I just- I’m sorry. I was just trying to comfort you and didn’t know how. And honestly it was stupid so can we please be okay and I don’t want you to think im some predatory person who’s taking advantage of you and-“
“It didn’t mean anything?” Mary couldn’t believe that was Lily’s takeaway. The one thing that wasn’t true. But, she knew what she needed to do to make things okay
“No. I mean, you’re with James and you like him. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of the fact that you guys were having issues-“
“So if it weren’t for James it would mean something?”
“Merlin, Lily, you’re killing me. We’re friends and I like us being friends. I want everything to be okay so can it please be?”
“Yeah,” Lily nodded slowly, stuck in thought. “We’’re okay. More than okay. You’re my best friend.”
Although it stung, Mary was happy with that—or at least satisfied. She was grateful that she and Lily were still friends and there was no way she would ever let her feelings get in the way of everything again.
After their fight something changed in Lily and Mary’s friendship —it was a subtle . Mary concluded that she worried about Mary feeling predatory and decided to over compensate. It didn’t feel weird. Mary and lily had always been very physically affectionate people. They used to cuddle during thunderstorms, for merlins sake, but something about this touch was different. Lingering.
Mary forced these thoughts out of her head. There was no way she would let wishful thinking mess things up again. She took this change in their friendship in her stride matching Lily’s energy but never initiating touch. Lily would throw herself onto the couch Mary occupied in the common room, her head finding a place in Mary’s lap. When James eventually arrived, Lily payed him little attention, only making her way over to him after he made a comment about wanting a hug.
What was worse than Lily’s conscious increased affection towards Mary was her unconscious action. When the two studied together, Lily, reaching her limit, would find Mary’s hand and play with her rings as she stared at her books. It was only when Mary pointed out that her hands were cold that Lily even realised they were holding Mary in the first place. But Mary refused to allow herself to think too deeply into Lily’s actions. She couldn’t—not again.