History's Footnote

Remembering you, fallen into my arms

Crying for the death of your heart

You were stone white, so delicate

Lost in the cold

You were always so lost in the dark

Remus slipped quietly into the backroom of the old bookshop. He leant against the doorframe, watching Rowan give his animated speech. How easily he seemed to know the right thing to say to make people trust in him. Rowan’s meetings were now bringing together over 30 werewolves. It’s more than Remus ever managed to gather, and it’s certainly much more consistent, less violent… altogether more human. 

Once everyone had left, Rowan and Remus stacked up the chairs manually. It was an unspoken agreement between them to never use magic for this part. The meetings gave them so much to think about, and often argue about, so they preserved this time to process their own thoughts. It was their way of saying to each other that they were friends first, that The Unicorn and its continued smooth running would never be interrupted. And then they would argue into the night.

Remus was the first to break the silence. He had to.

“I’ve been offered a job. In Hogwarts.”

At first, Rowan didn’t react. He just kept stacking chairs.

“So, you’re leaving us, then?”

“I… I don’t want to.”

Rowan put his hand on Remus’s shoulder. “It’s about James and Lily’s son, isn’t it?”

Dumbledore had been keeping the incident with Professor Quirrell under wraps, but Remus had sent an owl to Rowan explaining everything. The Unicorn had to be prepared. He looked up, guiltily, but Rowan was smiling at him.

“It’s ok. I know you have to.”

“Well actually… I was rather hoping I could do both.”

Rowan looked up questioningly. The fact was, the number of pupils at Hogwarts were increasing year on year. The first years starting in September were children of the witches and wizards who never had to fight a war. Who believed they could have children who would be safe. Perhaps they were right. 

As it stood, Hogwarts needed extra staff to accommodate the influx of students. Remus had agreed to work part time alongside another DaDa teacher. He was able to schedule his lessons to avoid full moons - and early mornings after full moons. It also enabled him to continue doing work for the Unicorn. 

“I’ll be in close proximity to the Forbidden Forest, which means I’ll be able to liaise directly with all the creatures there.”

“You’re bloody brilliant, Remus Lupin.” Rowan grinned as Remus frowned, uncomfortable with praise.

“I wasted so many years being angry.” He said. “If I hadn’t met you, I'd still be that person. I never was able to do what you do, to have my life change, and to just… adapt. So smoothly. As naturally as the seasons changed.”

Rowan sighed, and was silent for a moment.

“It’s like this” He began, “One day, I was doing everything right - the next, the world I’d built was burnt to the ground. On one level, I was terrified. I didn’t know if I could ever be around people again, if I was safe, if I would make it. But on another level, I’d fucking hated my life. Helping rich wizards take from goblins. I couldn’t mourn for the death of my old self when it was a self I despised. In a way, the wolf was already inside me. Being bitten didn’t ruin my life; it started it.”

Remus grinned. “Sorry, did you really just give me a ‘there are two wolves inside you’ speech?”

Rowan laughed. He never took anything Remus said negatively. “I was a prick back then. And now?” He shrugged.

“Bit less of a prick, I reckon” Remus finished for him.

They finished tidying up the room, and finally Rowan took out his wand. He extinguished the fire and the lamps, and Remus shivered at the instant coldness of the now empty room. It made him feel uneasy.

*

The Unicorn kept Remus busy over the whole Summer. Rowan was hugely enthusiastic at the prospect of Remus working with magical creatures in the Forbidden Forest. Earlier that month, they’d received post from Maya. She’d enclosed a photo of her with her selkie friends, all gathered round a table stacked precariously with books, grinning and waving at the camera. Rowan had insisted on framing it, and telling everyone he could about Remus’s achievement, much to his embarrassment.

It was one of Remus’s easiest Summers. As the air turned cold, he felt a sense of foreboding returning with it. His move to Hogwarts was delayed three days by an inconveniently placed full moon. He was in one of his moods when Rowan approached with news from Eloise Weiss.

Eloise had previously worked for the Ministry as a potions master, brewing Wolfsbane. She’d left her post in disgust after the Ministry announced that only registered werewolves would be able to access the potion, and passed a law banning home brewing. Ostensibly, this was to keep people safe, but Eloise saw it for what it really was; a way to keep control. Part of her severance package involved wiping her memory of the ingredients and instructions. Weiss had joined the Unicorns, and had been working to recover her memory since. 

As Rowan was on the register, he was able to access the potion, albeit at an eye-watering price. Usually, he took it, but every so often he donated his supply to young werewolves who were struggling, or for Eloise to study. As Remus had never registered, he’d never had it. That would all change at Hogwarts, and although it went against every single instinct he'd ever had to be relying on both Severus Snape and Dumbledore, he had to admit that it would be life changing. They were both risking a lot to make this for him. His teenage self would have turned them down, but it seemed age had either tempered his spirit, or just wearied it.

In the mean time, he had Eloise. This month, she’d created a simple potion for Remus using just the wolfsbane plant and turmeric. It wasn’t much, but she hoped it would help with the pain a little. Remus felt a rush of affection for his new friends. He never would have dreamed that there were so many people around fighting for him.

“What’s the matter, will you miss me too much?” Rowan grinned, as they collected their things and prepared to move. 

They were headed for the woods; Rowan would be keeping his mind as he transformed, which meant he’d be able to keep Remus in check. 

Remus looked levelly back at him. “Yes.”

It was the truth. He would miss him. But it was a pain he must endure. He raised his turmeric drink to Rowan’s Wolfsbane, and they cheersed to changing times and changing attitudes.

*

Remus’s first week was weird, to say the least. He arrived at the castle to the news of Harry’s rather dramatic entrance that year. Of course, Remus didn’t know Harry yet, so he assumed Harry had just driven the car for fun. He couldn’t help but be impressed. You would have loved this, James. 

He joined his new colleague, Gilderoy Lockhart, outside by the Whomping Willow, which the blond man had put in what looked like a giant sling. Remus observed the scene shrewdly, but decided to let it play out. As he made his way past the Great Hall, he watched Peeves drop ink bombs of shrieking students, and was sure he heard the end of a howler screaming from within. So Hogwarts was still chaotic then.

He didn’t have a lesson with Harry until the second week, although he caught the boy staring at him in the great hall, with an odd expression on his face. As he sat in his new office later that day, he watched the boy pass by outside three times, before he finally knocked.

“Professor Lupin?”

Remus looked up from his desk to find Harry stood before him.

“I hope you don’t mind… I mean, that I’m not intruding or anything?”

“Of course not, what can I do for you?” Remus smiled. How could the son of the most obnoxiously confident person in the world be so polite?

“You knew him… didn’t you? My father?”

It was as if the boy could read his mind. 

“Hagrid gave me this album… you’re in some of the photos, I think?”

Harry held the page open to him, and there they were. The four Marauders, grinning mischievously out at him. Remus was speechless.

“What was he like?” Harry whispered.

So Remus told him the truth. Or some of it. 

“Oh, Harry… he was a menace. But he’d do anything for his friends. I’m sorry to say I got him into quite a lot of trouble, and him me. He’d have loved the flying car.”

Harry smiled, but it was a sad smile, and it reminded Remus of Lily. It reminded him of the Summer he left school, when they all moved to London, and he and Sirius had them all round, drinking and dancing and laughing and full of promise, every one of them. James and Sirius were arm in arm, chanting a new song they’d made up together, totally pissed. Remus had gone to the kitchen and found Lily there, swaying precariously.

“They’re like brothers, aren’t they?” She’d smiled.

“Idiot brothers, yes.” Remus replied.

“I always wanted a brother.” Said Lily. 

“I’ll be your brother.” Remus responded immediately. 

Lily had run back in to tell the others, excited.

Sirius and James insisted on a ceremony. Before he could stop them, Sirius had pricked Lily’s fingers and was chanting ‘blood brothers, blood brothers!’

Lily hadn’t even tried to stop him. Remus sighed. ‘This is stupid’ he said. But nobody would listen to him, and his blood was safe as long as he was in human form. So he pricked his finger too, and they became blood siblings.

There was so much Remus wanted to tell Harry. But he also wanted to protect him. So when he chose to omit Sirius from his stories, it was easy to say that was for Harry’s protection. He told him how James would do anything for his friends. He doesn’t say how that trust destroyed them.

“He’d have been proud of you, you know. What you’ve faced, certainly, but also the number of detentions you’ve got yourself into. You’re rivalling James on that front.”