Chapter 3
It was Monday again and Sirius just got back to the dorm room after running with James. Peter and Lupin were still sleeping so he quietly took a shower. When he reappeared from the bathroom, Lupins bed was empty. He had probably gone off to grab some breakfast before the great hall was full of students. Sirius had noticed Lupin liked a bit of silence. He often found him in a corner of the common room, quietly reading his book or outside, sitting under a tree, just enjoying the nature surrounding Hogwarts. Sirius envied his fondness in being alone. Being alone always scared him, he found himself constantly looking to be surrounded by other people. He had been at Hogwarts for little over a week and had already gained a reputation with most of their teachers. The only moments he was okay with being alone, were his daily strolls about the castle. He had discovered quite some good hiding spots and a secret passage way leading to Hogsmeade, the little village a few miles from Hogwarts.
Sirius started making his way to the great hall, when he got distracted by the sound of people fighting. He walked towards the sound and hid behind the corner to see what was happening. A boy, who Sirius recognised to be Severus Snape, was being held against the wall by somebody with his back turned to Sirius. Snape looked scared but had a smirk on his face.
"I know what you are" he said.
"No you don't, you little shit" the other boy said. Sirius almost dropped his bag. It was Remus Lupin.
"What has gotten into Dumbledore's head, letting someone like you into Hogwarts" Snape spat. Lupin pushed him against the wall a with a little more power.
"You are not going to tell anyone" Lupin said. His voice was shaking, he sounded scared. Sirius grabbed his wand tightly. At that moment Snape found a way to free himself and in a moment of confusion from Lupins' side, Snape managed to change the roles. He slammed Lupin against the wall and raised his wand to his throat.
"You are a danger to everyone here. Leave." he threatened. At that moment, Sirius stepped in.
"Let him go" he said, raising his want towards Snape. He hoped the Slytherin wouldn't catch the fear in his voice.
"He started it" Snape said, not letting go of Lupin.
"I hardly believe that. Expeliarmus" he pointed his wand to Snape's and disarmed the boy successfully. Lupin took the moment to free himself from Snape's grip and drew his own wand.
"You don't understand, he's dangerous" Snape hissed. Sirius pointed his wand at him.
"Maybe I don't understand, no, but what I do understand, is that you are a greasy little coward, so get out of here before I turn you into into a slimy little snail" he said. Snape looked at him angry, but grabbed his bag and left. Sirius looked at Lupin.
"I didn't need your help" the tall boy said.
"Weird way to say 'thank you'."
"You don't know how to turn people into snails, do you?"
"Nope, I absolutely don't." Lupin let put a snort and Sirius laughed with him. That was a first.
"Will you promise not to tell James or Peter what happened?" Lupin asked. Sirius frowned, but nodded.
"Whatever was Snape on about anyways?" he asked. Lupin stared down at the floor.
"Never mind, Forget I even asked" Sirius said quickly. Lupin let out a sigh and nodded gratefully. In silence they made their way to the great hall and joined their friends at breakfast.
"Sorry but did you two just walk in together? Like, without fighting?" James asked, eyebrows raised. Lupin just shrugged. He hadn't exactly thanked Sirius, but he could feel the change in the other boy's behaviour. Sirius just hoped it would stay that way.
As the day went on, Sirius knew it would indeed stay that way. Lupin had made only about two rude remarks towards him and they were a lot less mean than they had been before. They weren't exactly friends, but it seemed Lupin hated Sirius a little less. This brought Sirius to a high in his mood. He actually felt good that day. He even came at top of the class in charms. For a second he thought he had gotten himself into trouble when Flitwick asked him to stay behind when class ended, but it was to congratulate him on his performance today, said it was very impressive to get this charm right on first try. Sirius smiled widely as he joined his roommates, who were waiting outside the classroom for him.
"You're not in trouble?" James asked.
"Nope" Sirius said proudly. If only his parents could see him now. He decided to treat himself on a walk trough the caste. He had found a new spot and wanted to explore it a bit more. He told the lads he was picking up a book in the library and he'd meet them at dinner. He split ways with them, walking in the direction of the library, but took a different turn when the others were out of sight. He made his way towards the astronomy tower, stopping halfway through the staircase. He gently moved one of the paintings, apologising to the sleeping man he woke up. He stepped inside the small space and looked around. He had discovered this small room on his last stroll, the portrait had been slightly turned, revealing a space behind it. Only last time he hadn't had time to explore it. The room was filled with telescopes, cards with constellations on them, old tables and chairs, all stacked onto each other, probably held together with magic. The middle of the room had been cleared out, exposing Sirius wasn't the first person to visit this place. A few pillows covered the ground, making for a perfect quiet spot. Sirius studied the cards with stars and constellations, hoping to find his name. He smiled to himself when he did. One of the only things he liked about his family were the names. He couldn't imagine something more magical than the stars. He also found Lupin, the wolf constellation. Maybe that was one of the reasons he was so intrigued by the boy, he had a brilliantly interesting name. Sirius woke from his thoughts by a sound. Someone was coming into the room. He turned to the entrance and his eyes shot wide open, as did the ones of the boy across from him.
"You" Lupin said.
"You" Sirius said.
"I thought you were going to the library" Lupin said accusingly.
"Sorry?" Sirius replied. Lupin folded a piece of parchment and put it in his pocket.
"What's that?" Sirius asked, pointing at the pocket. Lupin looked down at his robes.
"It's a pocket" he replied with a grin.
"What's on the parchment?"
"Oh so you already know what it is. Then why are you asking?" Sirius rolled his eyes.
"You just put it away very suspiciously so I wanna know what it is" He said.
"It's just the map of the school we got at the beginning of the year" Lupin sighed.
"That's all?" Sirius did his best not to sound too disappointed. Lupin shrugged.
"Can I see it?" Siri asked. Lupin looked him up and down for a second. Sirius wondered why he was so protective over a stupid little map, but he understood immediately when Lupin did decide to show him. He had drawn and written all over the map, adding important places in the castle, hidden rooms and good hiding spots. He cursed himself for not thinking of keeping track of where he'd been.
"You are missing a few things" Sirius said. Lupin looked at him.
"Like what?" Sirius pointed at the map.
"Here is a passageway to honeydukes in Hogsmaede for example" he told Lupin. The other boy looked at him strangely. "Really?"
"Yeah? Why would I lie?" Sirius asked. Lupin looked ashamed.
"We aren't exactly friends" he said.
"We could be, couldn't we?" Sirius said. Lupin shrugged, staring at his feet.
"Maybe" he said.
"You can start by telling what your deal is. Why do you hate me so much?" Sirius asked. That made Lupin look him straight in the eye. He had beautiful eyes.
"I don't hate you" he said.
"Then why do you act like you do?" Lupin wasn't making any sense and Sirius grew annoyed. He felt his anger starting to rise when Lupin shrugged again.
"Ugh nevermind. We don't have to be friends anyways" he said and stormed off, leaving Lupin behind in the small room. Sirius had hoped for a bit of rest, but instead he got this. Things would've been easier if he had been in Slytherin, he thought to himself. Sirius was angry and annoyed and he knew he was overreacting, but he couldn't help it. He didn't know how to handle his emotions. He ran through he castle to his dorm room, hoping no one would be there. He was relieved to find to one there and hit his hand against the wood of his bed a few times. He wanted to scream but he had no idea how soundproof the rooms where so he kept it inside and hit his hand a few times more. It was a nice relief. He had been so distracted by his emotions he hadn't noticed the letter on his bed. He felt it fold when he sat down on his bed and sprung back up immediately. He tore open the envelope and was hit by the nasty smell of home.
Dear Sirius,
I miss you so very much. Mom is taking her anger on you and dad out on me. She also keeps using the wrong name for me. Is there any way you can visit me soon? My at home classed have been put on hold, dad's in trouble with the ministry. I know it's dangerous to write me back but can you please try?
love, Regulus.
As soon as he finished the letter, tears began running down his face. He missed his little brother so much and now he was not safe because of something Sirius had done. It was so unfair. It was also unfair he hadn't written Regulus back last time. He blamed himself for leaving the house and leaving Regulus behind. The world right now wasn't a safe place for him right now. Sirius was angry at his family, forcing his little brother to grow up so fast. He was dealing with things normal ten year olds shouldn't have to deal with. Sirius was the oldest, he was prepared to take all his family's weight on, but they should leave his brother alone. He realised that maybe this weren't things an eleven year old also shouldn't have to deal with, but he was almost twelve and used to it. He would find a way to write Regulus back. He heard people coming up the stairs to their room and Sirius quickly made way to the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of his roommates as he closed the door and locked it. He sat down on the floor, his back against the door and listed to them.
"He was crying, wasn't he?" James' voice sounded.
"You don't think it's my fault, is it?" Lupin asked. Why would he care, Sirius thought.
"No there's a letter on his bed" Peter said.
"Who's it from?" James asked. They wouldn't dare touch it, would they? There were footsteps.
"It's from Regulus" Lupin said.
"Who's regulus?" James asked.
"I don't know, maybe a nephew? As far as I know he only has a sister" Lupin said.
"That doesn't add up with the whole 'mom and dad' thing" James said. Sirius shot up. How did they dare reading his personal stuff. He opened the door and stood in the doorway.
"Why the fuck are you reading my letter?" he asked. The three boys turned around with a guilty look on their faces. Peter was the first to speak.
"It was on your bed" he said. Sirius felt his anger rise again.
"That doesn't mean you can just go and read it?" he said.
"We were just worried about you" James said.
"Oh? Were you now?" Sirius sneered.
"Yes, you were crying" Lupin said. Sirius raised his finger and pointed to Lupin.
"You. Don't even try to pretend you care" he said. Lupin did the same stupid thing he always did, he stared down at the floor. Sirius stomped towards his bed, pushing the others out of the way and grabbed his letter from the bed.
"Don't you have somewhere else to be? It's dinner time, why don't you guys fucking leave?" Sirius said, trying not to scream in their faces.
"God we just wanted to help" James said.
"Help how? By invading my privacy? You could've just asked why I was upset, you know?" James nodded ashamed.
"And to answer you question, Regulus is my brother. I don't have a sister" and with that, Sirius closed the curtains around his bed, shutting the others out. He heard them whispering to each other as they left the room but Sirius did not pay attention to what they were saying. He was crying again. He hadn't cried this much in a long time, but today was just a really bad day.