Love and trust
They snuck back into the ballroom through the side door. Not completely ready to re enter reality yet, Remus pulled Sirius back by their hand so the couple were hidden from view in the doorway.
Remus pulled Sirius close to whisper in his ear. “I want one more minute, with just you and me, before everyone else knows.”
Sirius grinned and cocked his head to the side, “And what would you like to do with your minute my dear moonshine.”
“Oh I think you know,” Remus whispered, as he gently pushed Sirius against the wall, his hands braced either side of their shoulders.
A visible shiver spread down Sirius’ spine, anticipation and happiness mixed into one. Remus hovered just above Sirius’ lips, so close to touching, but not quite.
Sirius was starting to shiver after being outside in the cold for so long, and they could feel the heat radiating from Remus’ lips.
Sirius quickly closed the space between them, crushing their lips together in a desperate, hungry kiss.
Remus could feel Sirius slightly shivering as they kissed, their cold hands placed on either side of his face.
Sirius’ fingers then migrated up to Remus’ hair, holding on to it so desperately, as if Remus could leave at any moment and they were holding on for dear life.
But Remus knew he would never leave, that they didn’t have to worry. They thought of this caused Remus to smile against Sirius’ lips.
Sirius pulled back, only slightly, so that their noses were still touching but their lips were slightly parted, “Remus, you smiling and laughing while I kiss you is really not instilling a lot of confidence in me!”
“No,” Remus laughed, “I’m smiling because…. because I didn’t think I could be this happy, but here we are and it’s perfect and you’re perfect and-“
Remus sighed contently, “And I really love you.”
Sirius blushed, bringing some heat back to their face. “Shut up,” they said, before reinforcing the statement with a kiss.
But they whispered into the kiss, “I really love you too dickhead.”
Remus gasped and pulled back, “Did you just call your boyfriend a dickhead?!”
Sirius shrugged, “What can I say, I like slightly aggressive and homoerotic pet names.”
Remus rolled his eyes, “So if you start calling me bro it’s a term of endearment.”
Sirius reached out and laced their fingers with Remus’, pulling him back towards them. “Remus, my bro, you are the hottest man alive and I really want to kiss your stupid face.”
“We may discuss these nicknames later,” Remus whispered, leaning in once again to press their foreheads together.
Just as Remus was about to connect their lips once again, someone walked around the corner.
Sirius and Remus pulled apart quickly to see Marlene and Dorcas standing there.
“Well this is one way to tell them,” Sirius said, untangling himself from Remus’ arms, but not letting go of his hand.
“We were just looking for you guys to check you were ok,” Dorcas said as a grin spread across their face. “Obviously you are more than fine.”
Marlene groaned and turned to Dorcas, “I can't believe you won the bet, I really wanted to be the best-person at their wedding.”
Remus’ eyes widened as realisation dawned on him, “You guys bet on if we would get together?”
“Oh please Remus it wasn’t a matter of if, but when! Turns out Cas has an uncanny ability to predict the future,” Marlene laughed.
“But how did you know it would happen?!” Sirius asked, still shocked that everyone knew but them
“Oh please, everytime you were in a room together you were practically undressing each other with your eyes, we all knew.” Marlene responded.
Remus blushed and buried his face in Sirius’ neck, too embarrassed to look at them. Sirius just laughed and kissed him on the head.
“Oh my eyesssss,” Marlene joked, shielding the couple from her view with her hand.
Sirius leaned forward and lightly slapped her on the arm, “As if you and Dorcas don’t act like a pair of horny teenagers all the time.”
Dorcas gasped, “Excuse me, my future wife and I do not accept this slander against our good name.”
But they leaned into Marlene to whisper, “Even if it is true.”
“Oh and we’re bad,” Remus responded, laughing at the couple before them.
“But are you guys ok?” Dorcas said, their tone becoming more serious. “What that bastard said is completely untrue but I just want to check that you both know that, you’re both beautiful and your queerness is beautiful, so don’t feel bad about it for one single second!”
The emotion running through Dorcas had caused their hands to shake, Marlene noticed straight away and held onto it, steadying them.
“I know we joke,” Marlene started, “But that was a lot for anyone to endure, it’s shaken all of us, thankfully Minnie made sure he got what he deserved.”
“Thank you guys,” Remus said, but before he could say more Sirius flew forward and grappled Dorcas and Marlene into a hug.
“I love you both,” he whispered, voice wavering with emotion, Marlene hesitated for a second before leaning into the hug. “We love you too,” they both whispered.
Sirius pulled back and coughed in an attempt to clear the emotion from their voice.
“Sooooo,” Dorcas started, “do you want us to keep you guys a secret? When and how you decide to tell everyone is entirely up to you, just checking so we don’t out you guys.”
Sirius gasped dramatically, “Out us? Do you think the others don’t know I’m gay!!! Oh my Taylor this is terrible, honestly to be perceived as straight is my worst fear.”
“Oh shut up you know what I mean,” Dorcas laughed.
Remus and Sirius looked at each other, communicating with their eyes alone. “I think we will tell everyone now, give us two more minutes before we go back to the table,” Sirius said, still gazing at Remus.
“Two minutes? That’s very ambitious,” Marlene teased.
Sirius just shook his head, “Go away so I can passionately ravish my boyfriend before I tell everyone about it.”
“Ewwww,” Marlene said, but took the hint and she and Dorcas made their way back to their table.
Remus laughed, “Ravish eh?”
Sirius grinned, that mischievous grin that could completely undo Remus in a second, and just winked.
Remus groaned, “You, Sirius Black, are going to be the death of me.” And there was that grin again..
Remus began to shake his head in disbelief but he honestly felt a bit light headed from the way Sirius had looked at him.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. Sirius raised an eyebrow in question, “What was that?”
Remus usually would’ve kept it to himself, and although he was still wrapping his head around the fact that Sirius was in love with him.
But he couldn’t deny the enjoyment he got whenever he flirted with Sirius, prompting that wonderful fucking grin to spread across their face.
“Oh nothing,” Remus started nonchalantly, “My boyfriend is just really fucking hot.”
“Oh yeah,” Sirius said, grinning, as they once again looped their arms around Remus’ neck, “do you want to tell me about them?”
Remus laughed and paused for a second, but he conceded. “I mean if they knew about this it would really boost their ego so don’t tell them. But I think they are incredibly sexy, especially when they grin, and not only that but beautiful in an angelic sort of way, and I also-“
Sirius interrupted Remus with a kiss, and then another, and then another. After a moment Sirius took a deep breath and placed his forehead against Remus’. “I really do love you Remus Lupin,” they whispered into the space between them.
Sirius’ eyes were closed but he could feel Remus smiling against him, “I really love you too Sirius Black.”
Sirius wanted to stay in this moment forever, but he knew soon the others would be looking for them. “We should probably head back,” they said reluctantly.
Remus groaned and pulled away from Sirius so he could look them in the eyes, “We could just run away now and go back to my place.”
Sirius smiled softly, “That sounds really good right now.” Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand and interlaced their fingers together.
“We could sleep, I’m fucking exhausted,” he said with a groan, and placed his head in Sirius’ shoulder.
Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand, “How about we compromise, we go and tell our friends, and dance and have fun, and then later we can go home and do your thing.”
Remus contemplated for a moment before saying, “Seems like a pretty good compromise.”
“What am I always telling you Remus?! I’m amazing!” Sirius laughed. Remus rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the smile that lit up his features as Sirius grabbed his hand, and began to walk back to the table.
James was the first to notice them and waved over at them, grinning. Soon the others turned around to welcome them back.
Remus paused for a second before saying, “So how are we gonna do this, we could say that we-“
Sirius had interrupted him with a kiss, there was an eruption of happy screams from their friends table. Remus pulled back, “Or I guess that works too,” he whispered.
By now Lily had hurtled over to them and thrown her arms around Remus, she kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “You did it, you actually did it! I’m so proud of you!”
Remus grinned at her, as it finally began to sink in.
A moment later Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and dragged him to the dance floor.
It wasn’t until Sirius wrapped their arms around Remus’ neck and began to sway that Remus realised what song was playing.
‘Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can’t help falling in love with you.’
Remus’ arms circled around Sirius’ waist. “This is definitely not good for your punk rock image,” Remus chuckled quietly.
“I’ll start damage control with the press tomorrow, don’t you worry!” they responded.
James stood with a drink and watched his best friends sway back and forth, completely oblivious to the whole world around them.
Lily appeared at his side and slipped her hand comfortably into his. “They actually did it,” she said.
James smiled to himself, “They’re so good for each other. Sirius has had such a shit time and Remus walked into his life and just made it infinitely better.”
Lily allowed her head to lean against James’ upper arm, “Sirius has definitely changed Remus for the better. And as an added bonus they introduced us to each other.”
James looked down and kissed the top of his girlfriend's head, “Oh we are one hundred percent the best outcome of their relationship.”
Just then Sirius laughed loudly as Remus attempted to spin them as part of their waltz/shuffle dance they were doing.
“Yeah, they are way cuter than us though,” Lily laughed. A devilish grin spread across James’ face.
“Lily Evans, do you want to waltz with me?” he asked, arm outstretched as an invitation.
“James Potter, we both know that you cannot dance,” Lily giggled, but accepted James’ invitation.
Just as they were about to start their slow dance the song changed and the intro to Lily and Remus’ favourite song, possibly of all time, began to play.
She grinned manically and pulled Remus from Sirius’ grip, “Sorry love, I’ve got to borrow your boyfriend real quick,” she laughed.
‘We’re all bored, we’re all so tired of everything.’
Lily jumped up and down as she screamed the lyrics, waving her arms at everyone to get up from their table to join them.
Her pure happiness was infectious and soon everyone was on the dance floor, grinning from ear to ear.
‘And every day is like a battle, but every night with us is like a dream.’
Marlene, Dorcas and Peter were laughing with their drinks still in their hands, screaming along with Lily. Mary and Emmeline were dancing wildly, arms thrown in the air and smiles lighting up their faces.
Remus and Lily were back to back, dancing and singing like their lives depended on it as their boyfriends were watching in awe.
However, Regulus was still at the table, insisting that he does not dance. After a lot of convincing from everyone, and a push from his boyfriend Regulus finally gave in.
They all jumped up and down wildly, completely carefree, totally unashamed, and only slightly unhinged.
‘The best people in life are free.’
They were all laughing and gasping for breath after. James went to go and get pints of cold water from the bar to help to everyone rehydrate.
They all chatted excitedly, flitting from one conversation another. But Remus was starting to reach his limit and could feel himself getting tired.
Sirius was standing beside him in an intense conversation with Marlene and Mary. Remus realised that after all his pining and waiting, now he could just reach out and hold Sirius’ hand whenever he wanted to.
As he circled Sirius’ hand with his own, Sirius turned around look at him. Without needing to say anything Sirius understood how Remus was feeling.
They turned back to Marlene and Mary who he had been talking to, “I think we’re probably going to head on home now, we’re both pretty exhausted.”
They both nodded in understanding, everyone started to say their goodbyes. They walked out of the ballroom ten minutes later, but not before James had shouted after them, “Have fun, be safe, I’m not ready for any nieces or nephews yet!”
This was met with Sirius throwing a choice finger thrown over their shoulder.
They were waiting outside for their taxi when an icy wind bit through the air. Sirius shivered, still a bit damp from being outside in the rain earlier.
Remus immediately shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around Sirius’ shoulders. Sirius looked up and captured Remus’ mouth with his own. “Thank you,” they whispered.
Just then the taxi pulled up and the couple clambered into the backseat. Sirius chatted animatedly to the driver while Remus just closed his eyes and listened.
Remus usually would’ve been anxious with any form of public displays of affection, but he found that he truly did not care, he just wanted to be near Sirius.
He let his head fall onto Sirius’ shoulder and his hand find Sirius’, intertwining their fingers. His head fit into the crook of Sirius’ neck like a puzzle piece, and the raised scars along Remus’ hands settled into the small dips of Sirius’.
The taxi pulled up outside Remus’ building about ten minutes later, they both thanked the driver and gently closed the door behind them.
Remus squeezed Sirius’ hand and pulled them towards his chest. “Do you want to go upstairs,” he said, tilting his head in question.
Sirius went to say something but his voice failed him, instead he just nodded. “Are you nervous, Sirius Black?” Remus laughed.
“Can you blame me?” exclaimed Sirius, “I have been waiting for this for a long time, I don’t want to fuck it up.”
Remus’ gaze softened, “I promise you Padfoot, you won’t fuck this up.” Sirius huffed, “But how do you know that?”
“Because,” Remus said quietly, “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time too, and you are not going anywhere without a fight on my part.”
Sirius couldn’t contain their grin, “I guess I can accept that.” Remus laughed and pulled Sirius’ hand, leading the way. “It’s fucking freezing out here, come on.”
When they got to Remus’ door Remus had to untangle their hands to try and find his key. This was met with an highly over exaggerated, wistful sigh from Sirius as Remus patted his pockets, looking for the key.
All of a sudden he spun around and smiled mischievously at Sirius. Slowly he leaned in and cupped Sirius’ jaw with one hand, he lowered his lips until they were almost touching Sirius’.
Sirius had lost all ability of coherent thought, as they waited in anticipation for Remus’ lips to close the very small space between their own; they didn’t even notice Remus’ hand dipping into the pocket of his jacket, still wrapped around Sirius’ shoulders.
Remus grinned and pulled back, dangling the key in between them, “I guess I’m adding ‘easily pickpocketed’ to my list of things I know about you.”
Sirius groaned, “You could’ve just asked me to get it for you!”
“Oh no, now where is the fun in that,” Remus said.
Sirius did not appreciate being left high and dry. So when Remus turned around to open the door Sirius moved forward and wrapped their arms around Remus’ waist.
They allowed their lips to ghost over Remus’ neck, their breath sending visible goosebumps up Remus’ arms.
Sirius grinned to themselves as Remus fumbled with the key in the door, struggling to even get it in the lock.
“You good there Moony?” Sirius asked innocently, but they knew Remus could feel their wicked grin against his neck.
“This is definitely not fair,” Remus huffed, finally unlocking the door.
“Payback Moonshine,” Sirius said as they walked through the door first.
“They weren’t lying when they said ‘Paybacks a bitch’” Remus huffed, and shut the door behind himself.
“So,” Sirius said, taking a deep breath, “what do we do now?”
Remus smirked, “Well when a man and a man love each other very much they tend to-“
“That is not what I meant and you know it!” Sirius interrupted, a smile on their face. However their smile faltered as they began to speak again, “What do we do tomorrow, and the day after that. I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Sirius paused for a moment but Remus knew he had more to say and stayed quiet.
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and I want to do it right.” Sirius said quietly.
Remus stepped forward and placed his hands either side of Sirius’ face, “Padfoot I haven’t felt like this about anyone either, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.”
Sirius laughed at Remus’ choice of words, burying their head in his chest. Remus allowed his hands to gently mess with Sirius’ hair.
“But I do know that we can figure it out together,” he whispered into Sirius’ scalp as they placed a gentle kiss there.
Sirius lifted their head from Remus’ chest to look him in the eyes. “Well that I can work with,” they said as that wonderful Sirius Black grin spread across their face.
Remus relished in the fact that after all the many times he had wanted to kiss that stupid grin off Sirius’ face, he finally could.
He leaned forward until the space between his lips and Sirius’ perfectly parted lips was practically non-existent. He hesitated for a moment, memorizing the curve of Sirius’ lips, the feel of their hands in his hair.
“Remus, please,” Sirius said so quietly that Remus almost wasn’t sure he heard it, but he heard the slightly desperate tone of Sirius’ words, and that was enough.
He crushed their lips together, and Remus couldn’t help but think that if he had to kiss Sirius for the rest of his life he really wouldn’t mind.
As Sirius deepened the kiss Remus stumbled forward, pushing Sirius against the counter.
Sirius pulled his lips away, and Remus missed their ferocious heat the moment they were gone.
“Are you sure about this,” Sirius asked, “because we don’t have to do anything, I’m perfectly happy to just do what we’re doing.”
“I’m sure,” Remus assured them, tucking a stray strand of hair behind their ear. “Well then,” Sirius said breathily, leaving the sentence very open to interpretation.
He grabbed Remus’ hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.
They were a mess of sloppy kisses and roaming hands. Sirius kissed along Remus’ collarbone, focusing on a particular spot that caused a small gasp to emit from Remus’ lips.
Slowly Sirius reached for the buttons on Remus’ shirt, but before he did anything he looked up at a Remus, a question in his gaze.
Remus looked at this beautiful person in front of him, with slightly messed up hair and a purple mark blooming on their neck, courtesy of Remus.
No one had ever looked at him the way Sirius did, no one had ever treated him with the respect that Sirius did.
Remus found that for the first time in his life he didn’t mind if someone saw the true extent of his scars. So slowly, without breaking eye contact, he nodded.
Sirius quickly undid the buttons and Remus shrugged his shirt off his shoulders. The room was dark, but moonlight spilled in the window, casting the room in a silvery light.
Remus blushed at the look of pure awe in Sirius’ eyes. Their fingers slowly traced the scars slashed across Remus’ chest, and Remus didn’t shrug away from their touch, instead he relished in the warmth it left in its wake.
Sirius brought their lips to the scar on his right shoulder, placing a small kiss on it before moving to the next one.
Remus hummed and closed his eyes, letting Sirius’ touch encapsulate him, bewitching him body and soul….
Hours later, as they lay on Remus’ bed, Sirius found himself in that lovely space between awake and asleep. His head was on Remus’ chest, as it slowly rose and fell, the motion began to lull them closer to sleep.
His fingertips ghosted over the scars on Remus’ lower abdomen, drawing swirling patterns around them. Remus hummed in contentment and Sirius couldn’t ignore the warmth that spread through their chest.
Sirius lifted their head and leaned up to kiss Remus. A loving smile played across Remus’ face, “What was that for?” he asked.
Sirius just shrugged, “Do I need a reason to kiss my boyfriend?”
Remus smiled and placed his head back down on the pillow, “I suppose not,” he paused for a beat, “I like the sound of that.”
Sirius moved up so their head was on the pillow beside Remus, and they were face to face. “You like the sound of boyfriend?” they asked.
“I mean I like the sound of anything you say in that posh accent of yours, but boyfriend does sound pretty good, yeah.”
“I do not have a posh accent!” Sirius exclaimed and playfully shoved Remus. “Oh so that’s how it is?” Remus laughed as they shoved them back.
Sirius kicked their legs out, trying to untangle themselves from Remus for a better advantage.
“Oh no you don’t!” Remus chuckled and rolled over so he was practically on top of Sirius, squishing them with a hug.
Sirius laughed into Remus’ shoulder and their body relaxed, Remus loosened his hug thinking Sirius had conceded, but that was just part of Sirius’ strategy.
Sirius laughed triumphantly and rolled them both over so he was now straddling Remus’ hips. They laced their fingers’ with Remus’ above his head, and leaned down to bring their lips together.
Remus wasn’t expecting it but responded enthusiastically. Sirius pulled back for a moment, and against the corner of Remus’ mouth whispered, “I win.”
“That’s cheating!” Remus laughed, but let himself be pulled back in for another kiss.
“My back is getting sore,” Sirius laughed a moment later. Remus rolled them both over until they were lying on their sides, facing each other once again.
They lay there for a moment, just drinking each other in, both of them still struggling to believe this was truly happening.
Some would call it magic, some would call it fate, either way Remus believed he would always end up here. In every universe, in every possible outcome of their lives, Remus believed he and Sirius would end up here.
Completely and irrevocably in love.
“So,” Remus said after a minute or two of comfortable silence, “do I get to take you on dates now?”
“Well I fucking hope so,” Sirius exclaimed dramatically, “otherwise what was even the point of spending all this time wooing you.”
“I don’t know if I would consider talking about your secondary school pranks ‘wooing’,” Remus said with a laugh.
Sirius smiled, “It worked though.” Remus groaned in concession, “I guess so.”
“You guess?!” Sirius exclaimed, pulling back. “I know so, I know,” Remus said, pulling Sirius back in towards him.
He wrapped his arms around Sirius and buried his face in their hair. “I know that I love you Sirius Black,” he whispered as he angled his head to kiss Sirius’ forehead.
Sirius ducked their head and buried it in the crook of Remus’ neck. Remus could feel Sirius’ smile against his skin.
“I know that I love you too Remus Lupin.”
This scene would remain forever frozen in their minds, untouched by the presence of time or fate, of highs and lows, and bathed in a golden hue.
They were just Remus and Sirius, and in spite of everything they would always have each other.