Mission Blupin
Sirius had spent the entire ride home thinking about Remus, about his soft curls that got all messed up when he slept, and the way that his nose scrunched up, not only when he was asleep, but when he concentrated.
Sirius had never felt as infatuated with someone as he did in that moment, Remus Lupin would truly be his undoing.
Sirius was so consumed by their inner panic they didn’t even realise that James wasn’t in bed yet when he got home, in fact he was on the sofa…… and he wasn’t alone.
Sirius screamed and put his hands over his eyes,
“My eyessss, they’re burningggg, what the hellll.”
James and Lily both screamed and jumped up from the sofa.
“Guys, what the actual fuck,” Sirius exclaimed, with his hands still pressed firmly over his eyes, “This is like walking in on my parents, if I liked my parents.”
Lily grinned sheepishly and tried to fix her messy hair, “Sorry Sirius, we didn’t think you would be home until later.”
James placed an arm around Lily’s waist and gave Sirius a triumphant, yet apologetic smile.
“Sorry Pads, like Lils said, we didn’t think you would be home tonight, plus it’s not like I haven’t had to witness the trauma of your many hookups over the years.”
Sirius narrowed his eyes in mock anger, “How dare you, I don’t ‘hookup’ with people, I make sweet passionate love to them.”
“I’ll be sure to tell Remus,” Lily mumbled under her breath.
James turned to her, “Sorry what did you say my love?”
“Oh nothing,” Lily replied quickly, “Just that I should probably head on home.”
“No, don't!” Sirius exclaimed, “I’m sorry I ruined your romantic evening, I’ll go crash at Marlene and Dorcas’ house, you guys keep doing each other or whatever was happening here before I came home.”
Lily huffed a laugh at Sirius’ choice of wording.
Sirius spun on his heel and turned for the door when James shouted, “I’m sorry I traumatised you more than you already are Padfoot.”
Sirius flipped a finger over their shoulder and closed the door behind them.
By the time Sirius got to Marlene and Dorcas’ flat they were exhausted, he had had a spare key ever since they moved in, and didn’t think much of just letting himself in and collapsing on the sofa for the night.
However, his tiredness addled brain had forgotten to tell Dorcas or Marlene that he was there….. so it was a pretty rude awakening for Dorcas to find a dark haired apparent intruder sleeping on their couch the next morning.
(25 Nov, Saturday)
(moonage daydream and the diamond dog)
(11:43)
Padfoot: heyyyy baby girl
Moony: good lord
Padfoot: yes?
Moony: baby girl is not my preferred nickname
Padfoot: tough, because it’s perfect
Padfoot: anywayyysss
Padfoot: Baby girl I need you to promise me something
Moony: should I be scared??
Moony: is this you finally trying to rope me into a pyramid scheme ??!?
Padfoot: what no, why would I rope you into a pyramid scheme???
Moony: I dunno but you could do it, you’re very charismatic
Moony: new career choice unlocked
Moony: you’re welcome x
Padfoot: gonna move past the charismatic compliment because it’s giving me butterflies
Padfoot: I thought pyramid schemes were just an american thing??
Moony: I don’t even know if they’re real, I never studied business in school, but you still give pyramid scheme vibes
Padfoot: interesting observation, Im taking it as a compliment
Moony: you take everything I say as a compliment
Padfoot: that’s because any word you speak to me feels like a blessing <3
Moony: I know that was an attempt at flirting but now I just feel like Jesus
Moony: blessing you and shit
Padfoot: if you were Jesus that would solve A LOT of my religious trauma
Moony: that's a lot to put on a guy
Moony: how about I just feed you some bread and wine ??
Padfoot: kinky
Moony: HOW???!
Padfoot: anything is if you try hard enough Moonshine
Moony: you had to have read that sentence before you sent it??
Padfoot: what can I say, I enjoy euphemisms ;)
Moony: is there a pyramid scheme for euphemisms???
Moony: was this whole conversation part of your plan !?!
Padfoot: you will not give up this pyramid scheme thing
Padfoot: what’s up with you?? usually I’m the chaotic one???!!
Moony: Yeah I just ate a whole packet of soothers in an hour cause I woke up with a sore throat but you’re only supposed to have ‘one sweet’ an hour…. not one packet
Moony: So I think I’m a bit high?
Padfoot: you really need to get your eyes tested !!!
Moony: but I don’t want glasses :(
Padfoot: you would look so hot ;)
Padfoot: did I say that out loud??
Moony: ha ha
Moony: wait why did u text me in the first place??
Padfoot: oh yeah
Padfoot: I walked in on our best friends having fun times, then I went to Marlene and Dorcas’ and forgot to tell them I was there so I scared the shit out of Cas this morning
Moony: YOU WALKED IN ON JAMES AND LILY
Padfoot: MOONY IT WAS SO SCARYYYY
Padfoot: I'M NOT OKKKK
Moony: how will you go back home ??!!!
Padfoot: i’m not embarrassed, I have subjected James to much worse over the years ;)
Padfoot: WAIT NO!!!
Padfoot: that sounds like JAMES AND I HAD SEX
Moony: your own brother???
Moony: Sirius?!?!
Padfoot: incest does run in the family ;)
Moony: oh sweetie
Moony: there is a time and a place for winky faces, this is not one of them <3
Padfoot: :(
Moony: so what are you going to do??
Padfoot: I will let them spend the morning in peace together, Im very generous
Moony: sure aren’t you as good!!
Padfoot: I know you’re being sarcastic right now but that made me feel…. something
Moony: NO!!!
Padfoot: ;)
Moony: Im leaving now!!
Padfoot: but Moony the conversation was just getting good :(
(rolling with the lgbt)
(16:37)
Dorcassimp: settle this argument for Cas and I? Dorcassimp: when is the appropriate time to put up your Christmas decorations?
archiboldsupremacy: I usually put mine up like the middle of December
roseMary: Em and I decided this year to put ours up this weekend, we just wanted something to look forward to :)
himboking: I'm not sure??
himboking: I only started doing the whole Christmas thing when I meant Pete and Sirius
himboking: so my mum usually puts them up just before school holidays when Sirius comes home
superiorblackbrother: Our cleaner put them up on Christmas Eve for show when we had family guests, and Mother made them take them down that same evening, once everyone left.
zumbagod: Regulus I am coming over to your flat right now and giving you the biggest hug, and then putting up your decorations XX
roseMary: I want to help!!!
roseMary: we can help make your first proper Christmas with your real family (aka us)
dorcassimp: oh we should make a party of it, to help decorate, and then we can do Boxing Day together or something !!!
galwaygirl: Marlene that sounds like a great idea!!
galwaygirl: does that sound ok to you Regulus?
superiorblackbrother: That sounds perfect X
taylorisgod: I’m sobbing right now
himboking: he is, I can confirm !!
taylorisgod: thank you all for taking me in as your family and now taking in my little brother <3
superiorblackbrother: Thank you.
zumbagod: Ok well now I’m sobbing
sweaterweather(mv): me too :’)
archiboldsupremacy: We all love you Reggie!!
superiorblackbrother: Someone else talk about decoration schedules before I cry. X
sweaterweather(mv): I usually put them up the first weekend in December !!!
galwaygirl: Remus and I help each other put them up :)
Dorcassimp: why don’t you guys live together??
taylorisgod: you know I always thought that too
Dorcassimp: Sirius stop stealing my ideas
taylorisgod: I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS MORNING!!!
Dorcassimp: I THOUGHT SOMEONE HAD BROKEN INTO MY HOUSE YOU DUMB TWAT
Dorcasimp: YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME AND CAS
galwaygirl: I’m just gonna quickly interrupt you for a second :)
galwaygirl: it’s because the building we live in doesnt have two bedroom apartments, but the location was really good and reasonably priced so we decided to just get two single bedroom apartments near each other
Dorcassimp: oh that’s actually smart
galwaygirl: thanks Marls, I tend to me ;)
roseMary: christmas, christmas, lovely, jolly
roseMary: quick question tho xx
roseMary: WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GOVERNMENT WANT MY FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE
roseMary: LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘PROVE YOU WERE BORN’??? I'M RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AREN'T I ?!?!?
sweaterweather(mv): well that took a quick turn
roseMary: sorry, I'm finally applying for my provisional drivers licence but there’s so many stepppssssss xx
taylorisgod: it takes foreverrr Mary
roseMary: thank you for that wonderful boost of confidence and happiness Sirius :)
taylorisgod: ok Im just gonna stop talking now x
zumbagod: good plan xx
taylorisgod: I DIDNT MEAN TO SCARE YOU !!!!!!
zumbagod: I expect compensation
taylorisgod: then will you stop hating me ??
zumbagod: yes
taylorisgod: ok what do you want as compensation ?
zumbagod: a huggg 🤭
taylorisgod: awhhhh Cas of course I will give you a hug!!
zumbagod: and wine x
taylorisgod: yeah thought it was too good to be true
(da boyzzz)
(21:39)
Sirius: hugging tall people is so weirddd
Sirius: like why is my head in your chest??
Sirius: are we something?!
James: Remus hugged you last nighttt???!!!!??!
Sirius: nahhh but I was just imagining he did
James: real
Sirius: it was nice
James: you should ask him to the ball
Sirius: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND
James: just a thought!!!!!
Sirius: James he has made it very clear we’re friends, i’m just yk accepting it
James: is a part of the acceptance process imagining you guys hugging??
Sirius: …..
Sirius: why are you being mean :(
James: because I ship you guys and if you don’t confess your feelings soon I will do it for you
Sirius: fair
Sirius: we would make a very cute couple
James: THATS WHAT IM SAYING !!!
Sirius: okkkk i’m gonna do ittt
James: really??!!!??
Sirius: no you fucking twat, of course I’m not !!!
James: damn :(
Sirius: nice try tho!!
James: just tryna do smth good for the community -_-
Sirius: the whole gay community would not be fixed if remus and i got together??!
James: you don’t know that
James: you guys don’t understand the power you hold
James: people would write fanfiction about you guys
James: like coffee shop au’s and au’s where you guys are wizards and shit!!!
Sirius: you are wayyy too invested in this
James: no such thing xx
(28 Nov Monday)
(rolling with the lgbt)
(18:45)
zumbagod: quick psa, I think we should all be against rock climbing, like what are you doing up there ?!?!
dorcas: get down bro
taylorisgod: neverrrr
archiboldsupremacy: you don’t rock climb sirius??
taylorisgod: I know but I love creating drama :)
sweaterweather(mv): are you aware that you’re a menace to society
taylorisgod: I was, but thank you for noticing ;)
superiorblackbrother: Get a room.
sweaterweather(mv): what, no, why would I want to share a room with Sirius, that’s just like. no
taylorisgod: hahahahaha yeah it would be so weird
(the other ones)
(19:18)
Marlene: ok so we all felt that right??
Dorcas: If by ‘that’ you mean Remus attempting to hide his feelings but instead coming off as standoffish leading into the territory of hostile….
Dorcas: Then yes x
Peter: They’re both trying to deny it so desperately for the other because they don’t want to ruin their friendship
Mary: Sometimes relationships like that just strengthen your friendship though, because you get to be in love with your best friend :)
Regulus: So how do we get them to confess their feelings for eachother.
Peter: I think they have to do it in their own accord, as stupid as they are, forcing it in anyway could cause miscommunication and their friendship to break up over nothing
Mary: You are so wise peter
Peter: I know
Peter: Butttt it doesn’t mean we can’t give them a little nudge though
Dorcas: Ohhh sneaky, what are we thinking??
Peter: I hadn’t gotten that far yet :/
Mary: What about locking them in a room together and we won’t let them out until they confess their feelings?!!!
Dorcas: Possibly a bit aggressive Mary?
Mary: Yeah, I guess :/
Regulus: We could make them get ready for the ball together?
Marlene: I’m liking this, continue
Regulus: We tell everyone to get ready at Remus’ flat, but everyone will get there 15 minutes before Sirius so that the only place they can get ready is in Remus’ room, where Remus is also getting ready.
Mary: Genius
Peter: You are a sneaky bastard Regulus and I live for it
Dorcas: Mission ‘blupin’ is a go !!!
Mary: What have I told you about blupin???
Mary: Wolfstar is so much betterrrrr
Dorcas: But I like the way blupin sounds :(
Peter: How about ‘mission impossible’, because even despite this they will still be too stubborn to confess they are head over heels, almost nauseatingly in love with each other
Marlene: That seems more accurate Pete
Marlene: After Sirius scared the shit out of us this morning they then spent half an hour describing how Remus looked when he was sleeping -_-
Regulus: Sirius was at my flat the other day and he spent the whole time talking about how green Remus’ eyes are.
Dorcas: I can beat all of you, Remus and I got wine drunk and then he got asked out by a hot barista and cried because he felt like he was cheating on Sirius……. by being asked out
Peter: As I recall Dorcas, Marlene used to spend hours talking about the mysterious person in the library they had a fat crush on ?!?
Marlene: I’m not ashamed of it!!!
Marlene: My partner is the most kind, beautiful, intelligent, hottest bitch out there xxx
Dorcas: Awhhh thank you my love <3
Regulus: Get a room.
Dorcas: Reg you literally came over to my flat the first time you held hands with Alex and described every detail about how, when, and why it happened..
Regulus: I feel exposed.
Mary: Awhh Reggie showing emotions is so cute
Regulus: I know your allergies Mary and I'm not afraid to wield my knowledge to my advantage,
Mary: Where are you going to get penicillin??!!
Regulus: I have sources.
Peter: Honestly Mary, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s telling the truth
Mary: I’m sorry Regulus I take it back, emotions are gross and you never show them !!!
Regulus: Good.
Regulus: I have to go now, I have a date with my boyfriend x
Mary: TRAITOR!!!!
(30 November, Wednesday)
(moonage daydream and the diamond dog)
(13:46)
Moony: I’m so sorry I’m such a horrible friend!!!
Moony: I never asked you how your art project went?!?
Padfoot: Moony, all of my schoolwork is art projects, specify xx
Moony: oh shit yeah
Moony: the one you did at my place when you couldn’t concentrate
Padfoot: ohhhh yes
Padfoot: I got an A*
Moony: Sirius that’s fucking incredible!!!
Moony: I’m so proud of you <3
Padfoot: couldn't have done it without you
Moony: all I did was read and nap in the same room as you :/
Moony: which now that I think about it appears to be a recurring event??
Padfoot: your presence is comforting
Padfoot: we don’t need to talk all the time when I’m there, you just radiate…. warmth, and positivity, and kindness
Padfoot: it makes me want to be around you all the time
Moony: Sirius
Padfoot: sorry if that was a lot !!!
Moony: no it was….. it was lovely
Moony: thank you
Moony: no one has ever said something like that about me before
Padfoot: well they should, it’s just a fact
Moony: still, thank you
Padfoot: anytime Moonshine
Padfoot: that’s what best friends are for ;)
Moony: HA Lily would agree, she’s trying to get me to participate in the ‘self love’ shit
Padfoot: self love, Remus you dawg ;)
Moony: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT
Padfoot: I dunnooooo sounded like it to meee
Padfoot: it’s perfectly natural Remus
Moony: DONT!!
Padfoot: you know many young people get to that special age where they start to get urges
Moony: I WILL BLOCK YOU
Padfoot: but acting upon those urges in a safe way is what is most important <3
Moony: I can act upon my urge to make you shut up??
Moony: wait no!!!
Padfoot: woahhhhhh Remus!!!
Padfoot: a bit forward dont you think?
Padfoot: buy a guy dinner first
Moony: I’m leaving!!
Padfoot: without a goodbye kiss??
Padfoot: after you just shut me up??!!?
Padfoot: Remus you player ;)
Moony: when will this madness stop??!!!
Padfoot: nevvverrrrrr
Moony: so I’m just stuck with you forever??
Padfoot: Remus you knew going in that you would never get rid of me
Padfoot: I’m like a koala, I cling to people
Padfoot: and the resemblance doesn’t stop there!! I’m also cute and cuddly
Moony: koalas are actually quite aggressive and have the ability to cause a lot of bodily harm if provoked
Padfoot: I’m sad now :(
Padfoot: but you’re David Attenborough era is pretty hot ;)
Moony: why do I put up with this??
Padfoot: because I let you make playlists for my parties??
Moony: that seems like a very small compensation for the torture I endure
Padfoot: not gonna lie I giggled at that one
Moony: lots of people tell me I’m funny
Moony: most of the time I’m just being mean and they think I’m joking
Moony: but in this rare case I am
Padfoot: you are being mean??
Moony: no Sirius, I’m joking!!!
Moony: of course I enjoy your presence
Moony: I love spending time with you, despite your constant dirty jokes -_-
Padfoot: what can I say, I'm very talented ;)
Moony: I take it back!! Im being mean
Padfoot: noooooo Moony Im sorry :(
Moony: ugh
Moony: I’m going to be…… nice for a second
Padfoot: exciting ;)
Moony: ughhh this is hard
Padfoot: it’s like you want me to make a joke!!
Moony: ok but I’m being serious right now!!
Padfoot: I’m always Sirius ;)
Moony: ok now I’m DEFINITELY leaving !!!
Padfoot: noooooo Remus I’m sorryyyu
Padfoot: no more jokes, I promise xx
Moony: ok
Moony: you’re just like a nice person and I like spending time with you or whatever
Moony: and you might be one of my bestfriends or something so like you know
Padfoot: what do I know???
Moony: don’t make me say it
Padfoot: but Moonyyyy you’re showing emotionssss, I'm so proud of you <3
Moony: I guess I love you or whatever
Padfoot: THIS IS MUSIC TO MY EARS
Moony: I typed it, I didn't say it??!
Padfoot: still works x
Moony: you’re so strange x
Moony: ok now I actually do have to go, I gotta work :) lol
Padfoot: I miss you already :’(
Moony: god you’re so dramatic
Moony: bye x
Sirius sighed and plopped his phone on the bed. Remus had typed the words that Sirius wanted to hear more than anything in the entire world (apart from Taylor Swift live in concert) and yet Remus only meant it as ‘loving Sirius in a friend way.’
Reading the message had simultaneously given them butterflies and made them groan and the tragedy of it all, not that Sirius was dramatic or anything.
As the ball came closer Sirius was really starting to doubt his ability to hide his feelings for Remus. Remus asleep on the sofa was enough to make Sirius weak in the knees…. so Remus in a suit, that would be earth shattering.
Remus’ shift had run over so he had asked Lily to feed his cats, however when he got home she was still there, reading on the sofa.
“Hi Lils.” He called out cheerily, putting his stuff down before making his way over to the sofa and plopping down beside her.
“How was your day?” Remus asked, but Lily just responded with a hum, completely absorbed by whatever book she was reading.
Remus was about to open his phone to text Sirius when he realised what book Lily was reading.
“Hey!” he exclaimed, “That’s my book.”
Lily grinned sheepishly and closed the book, “I'm sorry Remus, it was on the table and I noticed more tabs in it than usual so I thought I would take a look, and then I realised they were Sirius’ tabs.”
Remus shrugged, “It’s ok Lily, you know I don’t mind.”
“No but I feel guilty,” she insisted, “This was obviously something private between you and Sirius.”
Remus couldn’t help but laugh at this, “God Lils you’re making it sound like it was our sex tape or something! It’s just some annotations in a book.”
Lily gave him a bemused look, “We both know it is much more than that, Remus.”
He shrugged, “It was just something friendly of them to do.”
“Well if someone did that for me, I would practically take it as a love confession.” Lily countered.
Remus shrugged and looked away. “It’s just a book, it’s not like he actually loves me or anything,” he mumbled.
Lily placed her hands either side of Remus’ face, “Remus, my beautiful best friend, I understand this is hard for you, but I just want you to know that you can let yourself be loved, it’s ok.”
Unsure of what to say Remus chose to bury his face in the crook of Lily’s neck, he sniffled before saying, “Thank you Lily, how did I get so lucky to have you in my life.”
Lily laughed and gently patted this top of Remus’ curls, “I don’t know but you must have been a saint or something in a previous life to be rewarded with me as a best friend.”
Remus let out a somewhat watery giggle and pulled his head back to look at Lily again.
“You know that sounded exactly like something Sirius would say.”
Lily half scoffed/half laughed before wrinkling her nose and saying, “That’s fine, as long as you don’t start trying to kiss me, because I have a boyfriend.”
Remus gave her the finger and playfully shoved her away, “Oh please if I didn’t have anxiety and you were Sirius I would do a lot more than kiss you right now.”
Lily squealed, “Remus I don’t want to hear about your sex fantasies.”
“Excuse me,” Remus exclaimed, “I heard from Sirius that he walked in on you and James on the couch the other night, so you can’t exactly say much.”
“Oh please, you're just jealous,” she replied.
Remus laughed, “Of course Im jealous, James is a fineee man.”
“That’s not all he is,” Lily said, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.
“Ok I love James enough to know I don’t want to know him THAT well.” Remus responded.
Lily laughed so loudly that Minnie, who had been quietly cleaning herself on the chair beside them, gave them a dirty look before getting up and heading off to sleep on Remus’ bed.
“I guess I’ll take that as my cue to go,” she said.
“Mhmmm, probably best,” Remus replied, “Im fucking exhausted.”
Lily gathered her stuff and went back over to the sofa where Remus was lightly snoozing to kiss him on the forehead.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Moony, sleep well.”
“Thank you for everything Lily flower,” Remus said in a voice thick with sleep….. “I really do want to let myself be loved,” he then mumbled as an afterthought.
But before Lily could respond sleep had overtaken Remus.
“I'm so proud of you,” she whispered to her best friend, and quietly she closed the front door behind her.
As she walked back to her flat Lily couldn’t help but think that Remus and Sirius might finally be able to confront how they truly feel about each other, because anyone and everyone but them knew they were soulmates, that they were destined to be together.
In fact it felt like something that would always happen, in every version of every universe Sirius and Remus were meant to be together.