David Bowie and secret pining
(rollin with the lgbt)
(29th October, Saturday, 18:22)
Himboking: No because the world is so fudged up
Himboking: Why do I have to pay money to be able see people?
Zumbagod: Prostitution or concerts ???
Himboking: Glasses Cas, glasses
Zumbagod: Ohhhhhhhh
Zumbagod: Yeah gurl you blind blind x
Himboking: Thank you Cas
Zumbagod: Always my golden retriever :)
Taylorisgod: Cassssssss I want you to call me an animal !!!!!?
Zumbagod: Ok my little chihuahua 🥰🥰
Taylorisgod: wtaf?!?!??!??
Sweaterweather(mv): I see no lies
Taylorisgod: REMUS!!!
Sweaterweather(mv): you bellowed dear?
Taylorisgod: wijehehehehehhrhrhehhrhehehehhehr
Taylorisgod: sorry guys I’m going to be uncontactable for the next 2-3 business days because Moony just called me DEAR
Sweaterweather(mv): have they always been this dramatic?
Dorcassimp: pretty much, although you seem to bring it out in them ;)
Sweaterweather(mv): I-
Sweaterweather(mv): that’s just
Sweaterweather(mv): no
Taylorisgod: so hasty to deny it Moony?
Sweaterweather(mv): not you too!!!
Sweaterweather(mv): why is everyone ganging up on me??
Taylorisgod: our enjoyment?
Sweaterweather(mv): see now this is starting to look like bullying :/
Taylorisgod: oh please if anyone is bullied in this
Taylorisgod: thing
Taylorisgod: it’s me
(the other ones)
(19:02)
Mary: Oh god at this point it’s actually just painful
Dorcas: We are friends with idiots
Marlene: I really want to intervene!!!
Peter: Marls no!!!!!
Marlene: i’m not gonnaaaaaaa
Marlene: but let me just imagine, for a moment
Marlene: so I can have some mental peace
Regulus: I’m embarrassed to be Sirius’ brother right now.
Peter: Didn’t you once try to ask someone out and instead you somehow agreed to join a chess club instead??
Regulus: I have no regrets, I’m amazing at chess.
Peter: Fair
Regulus: Completely unrelated, but if I were to have feelings for someone in said chess club, how could I tell?
Peter: Do they make your heart beat faster?
Regulus: I have anxiety, everything makes my heart beat faster.
Peter: This is going to be harder than I thought :)
(we love Taylor)
(20:34)
Moony: do I have to dress up tmw??
Padfoot: you don’t HAVE to
Padfoot: but u should, cause I say so :)
Moony: that logic is….. flawed
Padfoot: nonsense
Moony: no I’m Remus, Sabrina Carpenter isn’t here right now
Padfoot: ha
Padfoot: ha
Padfoot: ha
Moony: thank you
Moony: I thought it was quite good too :)
Padfoot: so what are you going to dress up as?
Moony: my wonderful self??
Padfoot: try again
Moony: I mean I have something
Moony: but
Moony: nah, i’ll find something else
Padfoot: ok well now you KNOW you have to tell me
Moony: I could go as David Bowie, I have an outfit from a party a couple of years ago
Padfoot: Moony
Moony: Padfoot
Padfoot: I think I just fell in love with you
Moony: your sarcasm isn’t appreciated :/
Padfoot: hahahahhs yep, my sarcasm
(da boyyzzzz)
(20:56)
Effiesfav: I have to tell you something
Imalwaysright: Do we need to bury a body, watch wandavision and cry, or go to a rage room?
Effiesfav: I think I might be in love with someone
Imalwaysright: oh
Effiesfav: it’s Remus by the way
Imalwaysright: Really?!?
Imalwaysright: I never would’ve guessed
Effiesfav: I knew I liked him and all, but between staying at his flat and meeting him at his uni class and talking everyday…..
Effiesfav: I dunno
Imalwaysright: oh?
Effiesfav: thoughts?
Imalwaysright: And prayers, my brother
Effiesfav: yeahhh pretty much
Imalwaysright: Do you think something could ever happen between you two?
Effiesfav: in the words of Michelle Jones, ‘Expect disappointment and you will never be disappointed.’
Imalwaysright: Sirius that is so depressing x
Effiesfav: don’t forget pathetic !!!
Imalwaysright: Crushes are natural, you can’t control who you fall for
Effiesfav: yes but couldn’t the universe pick literally anyone else for me to like?!
Effiesfav: why one of my best friends?
Imalwaysright: the world sucks?
Effiesfav: retweet^^
Imalwaysright: Peter’s thing?
Effiesfav: yep :)
(30th Oct, Sunday, 13:24)
(Lily’s phone)
*incoming call from wolfboy xx*
“Hey Remus, you ok?”
“mhmmmh”
“Nope”
*concerned*
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m trying to pick what to wear, and everything is wrong, and now my whole life has been thrown on it’s head because Sirius wouldn’t get a new phone out of pure stubbornness and he’s so pretty and I don’t know what I’m going to fucking wear!!”
“Ok Remus, breathe with me.”
“It’s all going to be fine, because I am going to walk the five minutes to your flat, we’re going to have a cup of camomile tea, and together we will pick an outfit that stupid Sirius Black won’t be able to look away from.”
“Ok but I don’t want them to actually stare at me because that makes my social anxiety worse.”
*laughing*
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
“All the time.”
“Well I'm going to tell you again.”
“Remus Lupin, you are my platonic soulmate and I love you so very much.”
“Lily Evans, you are being sappy.”
“Hey, you have to say it back!”
*wining (like a petulant child)*
“I don’t wannnaa.”
“Why? Because you’re saving all your ‘I love you’s’ for Sirius.”
“Lily Evans you are a mean, mean person.”
“And I’m not IN love with him, I just really fucking fancy him.”
“Yet.”
“Huh?”
“You’re not In love with them yet.”
“Lily, why are you making me freak out more?!”
“Sorry, it’s just so easy sometimes.”
“Oh and have a bottle of wine open for when I get over!”
“Good plan, we can’t be expected to go into that flat sober, with the two most beautiful boys on the fucking planet there too.”
“You read my mind Moonshine.”
“Only Padfoot calls me Moonshine, don’t you start too!”
“Byeeee Moonshine, see you in five.”
*disgruntled*
“I never should’ve introduced the two of you.”
*call ended 16mins 07sec*
Remus was sitting on his worktop, wearing a blue/grey shirt (which Lily had made him unbutton three buttons), suspenders and cream trousers, all inspired by David Bowie, he had forgone the tie when Lily told him he looked like he was going to a job interview instead of a party.
He had been selfless and let Lily drink a glass and a half of the wine while they got ready, remembering that someone had to drive them, and all the drinks, to Sirius and James’ flat. Lily came out of the bathroom in her ‘mirrorball dress’ (the same as the one Taylor wore to the VMA’s).
She rolled her eyes at him for sitting on the worktop and grabbed the car keys on the way out the door.
Remus’ nervously drummed his fingers on the wheel the entire drive, and after twenty minutes of nervous chatter, bouncing knees and a wide grin on Lily’s face anytime James Potter was mentioned, Lily signalled for him to pull into Sirius and James’ driveway.
Due to the fact Lily was a bit tipsy, and Remus had the upper body strength of a soggy leaf, they decided it was best to leave the drinks in the car and a couple of people could go down in a minute to get them.
James and Sirius’ flat was located in an old building with no lifts, so by the time Lily and Remus climbed the multiple flights of stairs to get to apartment number 12, they were both a bit breathless.
Lily paused for a moment before raising her hand and knock on the door, she glanced to her right and saw Remus looked just as nervous as her, possibly even more so. “We will be fine,” he said, and managed to give her an encouraging look.
Lily knocked on the door three times and stood back, hands slightly shaking with the anxiety of being around the boy she was starting to like just a little bit too much.
Five seconds later Mary threw open the door smiling, her Halloween attire consisted of a Princess Bubble-gum costume, (She explained a couple of minutes later that Emmeline would be coming soon dressed as Marceline.)
“James, Remus and Lily are here!”, she shouted as soon as she closed the door behind them, showing them into James and Sirius’ flat. As they walked into the living room Mary was explaining to Lily she was there so early because Sirius had called her in a frenzy earlier and had begged her to come early to help set some stuff up.
“I want to say he called me because of my amazing eye for decoration but I think Sirius is actually just a lazy git, James says he would’ve done it, but he was making food for everyone.”
At that moment, as if summoned, James walked into the living room in a ‘kiss the cook’ apron and a pair of Lightning McQueen crocs Sirius and Peter had custom made for his last birthday. Remus immediately burst out laughing and pulled out his phone, “This definitely requires photographic evidence for anyone to believe it happened.”
James playfully gave Remus a twirl, allowing him to take in the outfit in all its glory. “Is this really your whole costume?” Remus asked. James laughed, “No my costume is in my room I just didn’t want to ruin it when I was cooking.”
“He still hasn’t told anyone what it is,” Mary chimed in, “What can I say, I enjoy the element of surprise,” James responded with a shrug.
The doorbell rang again, and this time Mary and Lily went together to answer it. James grinned at Remus, “Gotta go get changed.”
James bounded into the living room not two minutes later in a pair of low-slung jeans, a tank top and a flannel, all completed with a bandana wrapped around his head. It took Remus a second to realise that James was dressed up as Zac Efron from High School Musical Three.
Remus knew for a FACT that Lily was going to freak when she saw this, but Remus also really did not want to carry all those drinks upstairs, so Lily would have to wait. “James, can I ask you a favour?” Remus asked, James nodded, “Of course.”
“Could you grab the drinks from the car?” Remus said, fluttering his eyelashes jokingly. “Well, when you ask so politely how could I say no Moony.”
James was already walking towards the door when Remus shouted, “Oi idiot wait!” James whirled around and caught the car keys Remus had flung. “Dammit,” Remus laughed, “I really thought you weren’t going to catch that one.”
“What can I say,” James said, “I’ve got my head in the game.” Remus rolled his eyes, he was now remembering Sirius mentioning James’ High School Musical phase in secondary school.
The girls were still at the door chatting with whoever had arrived, so Remus was alone in the living room. He took the opportunity to look around him, the walls were covered with photos of Sirius, James and Peter in school. And not to mention Sirius’ artwork was everywhere, including the ceiling.
Remus gazed up to see a beautiful painted sky, covered in constellations, Remus loved astronomy as a child, so he quickly noticed that these constellations weren’t the usual ones seen in the sky.
Instead, there was a stag, and with small loopy writing underneath it was written Prongs. Then he noticed a group of rats, one named Archibold and the other named Wormtail.
The more Remus looked the more names he recognized, a constellation of a dog named Padfoot, a bunny named Rosemary, a cat with Dorcas written in the loose yarn it appeared to be playing with.
Remus smiled, amazed by the talent and thought of this boy, his eyes kept searching the ceiling, recognizing more names, Andromeda, Regulus, Marlene, until his eyes landed on a crescent moon in the corner of the ceiling.
Underneath it, in silver lettering, was written, Moony.
Sirius had taken the legacy of his old family and changed it into his own narrative, he had written his real family into the stars….. and he had included Remus.
Sirius wasn’t anxious, he didn’t get anxious about guys, he was confident and not at all nervous…….
Sort of.
He had heard Lily and Remus arrive, he knew he was being rude, but every time he saw Remus his heart began to race, and his breath would catch… so he just needed a moment.
He heard a knock on the door and multiple voices, presuming everyone was at the door greeting whoever had just arrived, Sirius decided now was the time to make the brave journey to the living room.
However, when they opened the door into the living room got they saw Remus, gazing up at the ceiling, wearing a costume Sirius instantly recognized as Bowie.
As they had predicted, the second they saw Remus their heart began to race, and his breath caught in his throat. He coughed to free the stolen breath, and slowly started to walk towards Remus, who was still gazing at the ceiling.
“Ah yes, my end of year project from year one.”
Remus practically jumped out of his skin and released a string of curse words varying from English to Welsh, and what Sirius guessed was Irish.
“Eloquent as ever Remus,” Sirius said, smirking. Remus narrowed his eyes in mock frustration, until he realised what Sirius was wearing and his eyes became as big as saucers.
“You like?” Sirius joked, doing a twirl to show their outfit.
“I decided not to go with the moustache though, thought it wouldn’t go with my complexion.”
Sirius was wearing Freddy Mercury’s iconic skirt and top from the ‘I want to break free’ music video and Remus couldn’t help but think they looked drop dead gorgeous while doing so.
Remus managed to mumble a couple of words while willing desperately for the pink rushing into his cheeks to stop. Luckily, he was saved any more embarrassment when Peter and Emmeline walked in with Lily and Mary, and Sirius went to greet everyone.
Lily sidled over to him and whispered in his ear, “You good there Moony?”
Remus groaned and put his head on her shoulder, no, no he was not good.
Soon James returned with half of the drinks, and Lily eagerly offered to help James set everything up in the kitchen while he went down to get the rest.
Sirius smiled knowingly at the pair as they went laughing and chattering into the kitchen, perhaps standing just a little bit too close to each other. Remus, having noticed Sirius’ smile, narrowed his eyes and gave Sirius a questioning look.
“Do you know something,” he said suspiciously, making his way closer to Sirius. Sirius somewhat piecing together what might be happening narrowed their eyes playfully.
“Nope,” they said, popping the p, but continued in a quieter tone, “unless you think I know something.”
Remus was now beside Sirius. He rolled his eyes, Sirius wanted to think playfully, but he wasn’t sure.
Remus tried again, “I know something, and I think you know something too, and it would be best if we both say what the something that we think we both know is, so that we can either confirm or deny that the something I think you know is actually the something that you know.”
Sirius had his lips pursed in an attempt not to laugh during Remus’ ramble, but by the end he was so confused that they couldn’t hold it in.
Sirius burst into laughter, and not fun normal laughter, high pitched giggles.
This caught Remus so unawares that he was soon laughing too. Mary and Em looked over to them smiling as they both laughed until it just became wheezes.
Sirius gained control of himself first, he leaned impossibly closer to Remus and whispered in his ear.
“If what you mean by that shamble of a sentence is ‘do I know if James likes Lily back?’ I can confirm that he most absolutely, positively, undeniably and reliably does.”
Remus beamed at Sirius and said, “Then I think we might have to put our matchmaking skills to the test.”
Just then Marlene and Dorcas waltzed into the living room wearing Daphne and Velma themed outfits.
Everyone excitedly said hello and began to catch up on each other’s lives, but soon Sirius found themselves quietly admiring Remus from afar. Sirius felt as if his heart may very well burst out of his chest, Remus simultaneously made him feel like he was bursting into a million pieces, but also was finally whole.
As Sirius ‘not so subtly’ watched Remus, Emmeline watched him. She had known Sirius for quite a while now, she had been introduced to Sirius on her and Mary’s second date. (Less introduced, more he crashed their date, but with Sirius that’s the way it goes)
While everyone else chatted Mary made her way over to her girlfriend and hugged her arms around her waist, placing her head on Emmeline’s shoulder.
“What are you thinking my love?” Mary whispered in her ear. Emmeline smiled softly and placed her head on top of Mary’s.
“That Sirius has a fat crush on Remus, and that Remus is completely oblivious.”
“Mhmm,”, Mary agreed, “you’re not wrong.”
Emmeline searched for Mary’s hand with her own, when she found it she intertwined their fingers. They stood there peacefully for a moment, swaying to the music that was playing.
Peter made joking retching noises as he walked past them, “Get a room!”
They laughed and detangled themselves, soon Mary wandered over to join Dorcas, Lily and Remus in their passionate discussion about biology.
Emmeline chose to make her way over to Sirius, she looked at him curiously before whispering, “Are you in love with Remus Lupin?”
Sirius turned, shocked, toward her, spluttering and mumbled nonsense for a couple of seconds before accepting the truth, he was caught.
“I-, I'm not IN love with him, not yet anyways, I just…… ugh, have feelings for one of my best friends.” Sirius groaned and Emmeline gave him a sympathetic look.
Just then James returned with the last of the drinks and Emmeline smiled widely, turning to Sirius, “That sucks, however the perfect way to feel better just came through that door carried by your best friend.”
Sirius grinned, almost manically, and made his way over to James, who was smiling and putting bottles down onto the coffee table.
“Hey Pads, Peter just went to get glasses so it should-“ James trailed off as Sirius opened the nearest wine bottle and drank deeply.
Sirius looked up at James with a sorrowful look in his eyes, “Why did I have to become best friends with the prettiest man on the fucking planet.”
Soon everyone was gathered in the living room and the party was in full swing, Regulus having arrived fashionably late with a bed sheet over his head, with two holes cut out for the eyes.
About half an hour and a bottle of wine in Mary excused herself to go to the bathroom, but when she tried to turn the bathroom light on, she instead turned the living room lights off.
Remus jumped, not expecting it, and grabbed the hand of the person closest to him, who just happened to be Sirius.
Sirius looked at him with concern, mouthing something along the lines of “You ok?”, Remus just nodded his head and smiled bashfully.
They both turned their attention back to Mary who was now making her way back into the living room apologising profusely for momentarily scaring the shit out of everyone.
Remus realised he was still holding Sirius’ hand and quickly retracted his hand. He could’ve sworn Sirius seemed disappointed, but he couldn’t let himself hope like that. Sirius was one of his best friends, and they could never be anything else.
Because someone that stunning, and kind, and funny would never be as stupid as him, and fall for his best friend.
The rest of the night went smoothly, well apart from, Marlene dancing on the table and falling off, Peter breaking out his extensive sunglasses collection, Sirius stealing Emmeline’s guitar and playing perfectly, Remus freaking out over the perfect guitar playing and downing three tequila shots, Dorcas lighting what they thought was incense, but was just a twig and almost lighting the flat on fire, and Regulus trying to fit a whole orange into his mouth.
At about midnight Remus needed some fresh air and made his way out to the balcony, breathing deeply he sat down on the cold metal of the balcony, letting it soothe his aching joints.
Remus had been diagnosed with chronic fatigue after the car crash, it is classified as a hidden disability and Remus liked to keep it that way.
He hated being pitied, especially in regard to his health, it got better and worse over the years, but the migraines and achy joints were always the side effects he suffered the most from.
However less easy to hide is the chronic pain from his injuries that night, when he has flare ups of joint pain, he often would have to use a cane. Remus hated feeling like a burden, so he rarely told people about the actual extent of his health conditions.
The only person that knew was Lily, she had been there for him in secondary school when he got bullied for having to use a cane, he was still insecure and rarely used it, even when he probably should.
He trusted his new friends, and he knew they would be nothing but supportive…. But there was still that small voice in the back of his mind telling him that he was a burden, and this made him unlovable, which can be very damaging to one’s self-image.
He would tell them all one day, but for now he preferred to keep it to himself…
Over the years Remus had tried many different ways to deal with the pain, he had finally found a healthy way of coping through therapy, medication and rest.
However, one bad habit had stuck, the occasional cigarette when he was drunk. Remus pulled a lighter out of his pocket and light the cigarette he had stashed in his pocket (so Lily wouldn’t find it, she hated them)
Remus slowly took a drag from the cigarette; he closed his eyes and allowed the cool breeze to caress his face.
He jolted up a second later when the balcony door opened again.
Sirius stepped out on the balcony and let the door close behind them, they let the cool air blow away the redness in his cheeks from dancing. (Sirius has changed into jeans halfway through the night claiming the chaffing from the skirt was more painful than disownment)
They went to sit down in their usual spot but were instead met with the sight of Remus Lupin, face illuminated by the moonlight, cigarette in hand.
They tutted as they sat down beside Remus, “I thought you were better than to have such a bad habit as this Remus,” they said, pulling out their own packet from their pocket.
Remus smiled in a way that he only did when he was very comfortable…. or slightly drunk. It was lopsided, one side of his lips reaching up a small bit higher than the other.
Sirius had the cigarette between his teeth, he went to fish his lighter out of his pocket patted but soon realized they had left it inside.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or the close proximity of Sirius, but Remus leaned forward, touching the end of his cigarette to Sirius’. Remus’ eyes slid up from where he had been focusing on lighting the cigarette, up to Sirius’ face.
There was a moment where it felt like Sirius was about to say something, but Remus quickly leaned back, realizing what he had done, and took a long drag to ease his nerves.
They were side to side, both leaning against the wall, trying to ignore the burning sensation of their sides being pressed together.
Remus was enraptured by Sirius, everything and anything about them he discovered felt like a privilege, despite feelings, romantic and otherwise, Remus truly enjoyed just being in Sirius’ presence. Even if it was as a friend.
There was another couple of moments of silence, as they both blew smoke into the air, creating a foggy haze around them, listening to the traffic passing by below.
As the haze cleared the clouds also shifted, revealing the stars in the sky, illuminated by the full moon.
“Isn’t the full moon beautiful?” Sirius said in a hushed tone, like if he said it too loudly he would disturb shining orb in the sky.
Remus didn’t respond immediately, but there was a look on his face Sirius didn’t recognize.
“Or not…?” Sirius whispered, inviting Remus to share if he wanted to.
“The car crash that killed my dad, and contributed to this loveliness,” Remus gestured to the scars covering his body, “it happened on a full moon.” Remus shrugged, “It’s stupid really, to hate something you have no control over, and yet…. here we are.”
Sirius was quiet for a moment, then he turned to Remus and looked him dead in the eyes…. “Then let’s just get rid of the moon.”
Remus couldn’t contain the laughter and was soon doubled over while Sirius sat beside him giggling too. His abdominal muscles began to ache and the leaned back against the wall in the hope that it would help.
Sirius tilted his head back, so his eyes were almost level with Remus’, “No, I'm serious!” they exclaimed, which only made the two of them giggle more.
“Let’s blow up the moon,” they said, followed by the imitation of some very imaginative explosive noises.
Remus rolled his eyes at the stupid boy beside him, but he couldn’t hide the grin that spread across his face.
Remus looked to his left, and angled his head in question, “Would you really blow up the moon for me?” he whispered.
Sirius paused for a moment, as if contemplating their answer, before whispering back, “You know I would Remus.”
And there it was again, that moment of silence where they just gazed at each other, drinking in the others presence.
Sirius’ breath hitched, as if they were about to say something, but they were swiftly interrupted by James slamming open the balcony door, “You guys are missing all the Bowie I’m playing just for Remus!”
Sirius laughed and jumped up, offered a hand out to Remus. He grabbed it and hauled himself up, limbs still stiff, and grinned at Sirius who returned it immediately.
They were in the living room before either one realised that they were still holding hands.
Remus savoured it for just a moment, before he grabbed his hand back and wiped an imaginary piece of dirt from his top.
However, in doing so he ruffled Sirius’ t-shirt, causing it to rise up their stomach, revealing small loopy words on their rib cage.
Remus gasped and grabbed Sirius’ hand, pulling them back towards him. “Since when did you have a tattoo?!” he exclaimed.
Sirius's eyes widened as they noticed the writing on that had been revealed on their hip bone, but they tried to shrug it off, “It’s not something I often show people.”
Remus scoffed at this, “All you have told me since the first time I talked to you is how cool and punk rock you are, and yet you fail to mention the pinochle of punk rock-ness, a tattoo?!?”
It was Sirius’ turn to laugh, “Well ‘born sick’ isn’t one of the most ‘edgy’ tattoos out there, I didn’t want to ruin my street cred with Hozier lyrics.”
“The fact the words ‘street cred’ just came out of your mouth is enough to cancel out the absolute punk rock-ness that is having Hozier lyrics tattooed!”
Sirius narrowed his eyes playfully, “How do I know that this is all just a ruse so you can see my hips.”
Remus blushed like a tomato and spluttered something along the lines of, “No I didn’t- Not like- I just wanted- You never said-“
Sirius smirked, “Mhmmm, eloquence at its finest.”
Remus was determined to defend himself, “How do I know that you didn’t just keep it as a secret until we met in person so you could show me your hips!”
Sirius clasped a hand to his heart dramatically, “Moony, I would never!”
Remus opened his mouth to retort when Changes by David Bowie started to play, “This is my song!” Sirius exclaimed, and quickly grabbed Mary to dance with them.
Remus couldn’t help but watch the way Sirius danced, screaming the lyrics and swaying their hips to the rhythm of the music.
After this the evening was mostly dancing and singing, Remus was even coaxed up from the sofa by a very eager Sirius to join everyone when ‘I know places’ started to play.
By three in the morning, and after a LOT of dancing, everyone was pretty exhausted. Slowly in dribs and drabs they began to head home.
Dorcas and Marlene left first, hugging everyone and insisting they all have to do this again soon. They were soon followed by Peter, Emmeline and Mary.
Remus hadn’t thought this far ahead and realized he would leave his car at James and Sirius’ and get it tomorrow. So, James, the sober designated driver, then attempted to get a very wine drunk Sirius and Lily, a moderately drunk Remus and a sleeping Regulus into his car.
Lily sat in the front to avoid travel sickness which left Remus in the back on the passenger side, with Sirius beside him.
Remus knew he should have boundaries…. that he shouldn’t allow himself to hope. But as Sirius was lulled to sleep by the motion of the car, and their head fell onto Remus’ shoulder Remus let himself hope, for just a moment, that one day Sirius might feel the same.
Sirius was jolted awake, as his eyes opened slightly and they became aware of his surroundings, he realised he had been sleeping on Remus’ shoulder. However, he closed his eyes quickly, feigning sleep, just for two more moments, so he could bask in the delightfulness of it all.
Just for a moment they both let themselves imagine what it could be like to be more than ‘just friends’.
Idiots falling in love, that’s what they were.
Idiots falling.