MILF's and Marlene
It was Monday evening, and James had two tests to study for next week, but whenever he tried to concentrate his mind would continue to wander back to Lily Evans..... she had begun to consume his every waking thought.
James wandered into the kitchen, feeling distracted and snackish, when he heard laughter coming from the kitchen. He walked in to see Sirius on their phone, laughing at something, while the noodles he had been making for dinner boiled over.
"Sirius," James said pointedly, Sirius looked up and quickly took the pot off the cooker. "Shit, sorry," he said apologetically, “I was talking to Remus and got a bit distracted.”
James couldn’t help but laugh, “It’s ok,” he said with a shrug, “I mean I haven’t been able to concentrate on any of my coursework because all I can do is think about Lily.”
Sirius put their phone down dramatically, “Are we finally going to have a deep emotional talk about your feelings for this amazing woman?” James shrugged, still not totally sure how he felt about everything, “We have nothing better do.”
Sirius jumped up and down like an excited puppy, and then threw the overcooked noodle mush into the bin, “Ok I’m ordering delivery from our Persian place down the road, we’re putting on Wandavision in the background, and we are unpacking our emotions.”
James couldn’t stop the grin that overtook his face, ‘Unpacking their emotions’ had become a tradition between them, starting when Sirius had been disowned. Really, they just talked it out, helping each other understand how they were feeling, and coming up with a plan on how they were going to cope.
So, James told Sirius about how he and Lily had talked for hours about anything and everything, ranging from childhoods and school, to how Remus and Sirius were perfect for each other (which he did not mention to Sirius).
They discovered they were both incredibly competitive, and were studying similar subjects, Lily studying biology and James studying medicine. These two defining factors led to a very competitive game of ‘Who knows more about human anatomy’. Lily won but James wouldn’t admit defeat, so instead they had an arm wrestle… which Lily also won.
But James couldn’t even be mad, or a sore loser, because Lily was mesmerising in a way that James had never experienced before, she made him feel nervous and excited all at once, not to mention she may have been the most beautiful person he had ever met.
They talked for hours and hours, as usual James did his fair share of talking, but he also found himself listening intently to every word she had to say. James found himself committing every detail to his memory, every opinion, or story, or just small fact about herself he made sure to file away in his mind.
If he was being truthful, she could have talked about the weather and James would’ve been enraptured.
And then there were things he and Lily talked about that James didn’t tell Sirius about, because he hadn’t really talked about it with anyone other than his therapist.
Lily had briefly opened up about her complicated relationship with her sister, but James could tell she immediately felt nervous about being so open. “I’ll make you a promise,” James said, “I will open up about something I struggle talking about, and then if you feel comfortable enough, you can talk about your sister.”
Lily wasn’t sure what to think of this beautiful boy before her, so willing to bare his soul so she could feel like she could too… but she nodded silently, listening to James’s every word.
James never talked about how he had felt during those years when Sirius was still in that house, he felt unworthy of feeling upset, because he wasn’t the one being abused, but some joint therapy with him and Sirius had allowed himself to acknowledge that his feelings during that time were completely valid.
It had been heart-breaking for James to see one of the people he loved most on this planet in pain, but he didn’t want Sirius to feel like he couldn’t talk to James, so it took him a long time to open up about how he had also felt, and still feels.
He told Lily what he had only told his therapist, how useless he had felt, watching the trauma unfold before him and unable to do a damn thing about it, he had always been able to fix everything, so why couldn’t he fix this?
It had broken him, that in their second year, when he tried to hug his best friend and they just flinched away. But James was also just a child, and it taken him a long time to accept the fact that no matter what he couldn’t have done anything to change it, especially because he wasn’t even truly aware what ‘it’ was.
It wasn’t until their fifth year, when he had noticed the scars, in thin precise lines, on the small of Sirius’ back, where Walpurga told Sirius no one was supposed to ever see, that James had the maturity and insight to help, not to mention support from his parents and year head, Minerva McGonagall.
He knew Sirius’ trauma was completely different to his, and much more complex in a way that he continues to try and understand each and every day, but he can still accept that it too affected James’s life.
Lily had been quiet while James told his story, but when he got to this part she reached out and placed a comforting hand on his forearm, “You did absolutely everything you could James, let yourself be proud of that.”
James would keep this moment close to his heart until his very last moments, as he curled up beside Lily, a girl he barely knew, but felt like he had known forever, and wept tears burning with relief and acceptance.
Lily held him, and wiped away the tears, ensuring it wasn’t embarrassing, however James didn’t seem convinced, so Lily took a watery breath, and tearfully told him the real truth about growing up with Petunia, showing him that he wasn’t alone.
Petunia was two years older than Lily, they had been inseparable until their dad got an amazing promotion, but it would mean they would have to move to Wales. Lily and Petunia applied to the same prestigious secondary school… but only Lily’s grades were good enough to get in, and Petunia had to go the small-town community secondary school.
This was Petunia’s turning point, from then on her and Lily were at each other, snipes and jabs, spiteful comments that cut Lily right to her core, but still there were moments when the old Petunia would sneak through… that was until her fifth year, when Lily came out to her parents, and Petunia as bisexual.
Lily’s parents were loving and accepting as they always were, but Petunia just sneered, and told her she wasn’t welcome in their home any longer. Their parents had stayed up late into the night, fighting with Petunia, while Lily stayed curled upstairs, scared her parents may let the influence Petunia managed to hold over them inspire them against her.
In the end Petunia was given an ultimatum, stay under their parents’ roof and be civil, or find somewhere else to live.
As expected, Petunia stayed, but the next couple years of Lily’s life felt like hell. Her parents were supportive, yes, but they let Petunia away with slurs spat across the room, and painful stinging slaps whenever she walked past Lily, claiming it was just ‘usual sibling behaviour’.
Lily moved out the minute she got accepted into Hogsmeade University, hoping a country between them would manage to heal her wounds….
Despite having only talked for the first time that very day, Lily and James just…. understood each other, they had a mutual understanding that there was no judgement or expectations, just an opportunity to talk it through, acknowledging their own emotions without diminishing anyone else’s.
As much as he loved being James ‘sunshine’ Potter, when he was with Lily he felt like he didn’t always have to, he could be a whole person, and show the side of himself he very rarely showed anyone else.
James couldn’t deny that he was very much in love with this girl, he had been ever since the first psychology lecture that they had both attended, and he was very sure he would love her forever, but if all Lily wanted was friendship, he was more than willing to give her just that.
James and Sirius inhaled their Persian take-away, absolutely starving, as the often were after talking about emotions. They watched Wandavision in a comfortable silence, every now and then James would look over to see Sirius smiling like love struck idiot, obviously texting Remus.
James smiled secretly, and took out his own phone.
(21:38)
(Biology Nerds)
James: Are you with Remus right now?
Lily: Yes, why?
James: Is he also ignoring you and texting?
Lily: The look on his face I presumed he was texting Sirius!!!!
James: Do you think they will ever stop being stupid and like just make out??
Lily: Probably not, although that doesn't mean we can't help nudge them in the correct direction
James: Lily Evans are you suggesting we meddle in our bestfriends lives????!!!
Lily: Lightly meddle!!!!
James: Ok I'm in :)
Lily: Spectacular!
James: So what's the plan??
Lily: How do you know I have a plan?
James: I may not know you very well yet, but I'm 100% sure you have a plan for everything
Lily: Ugh I hate that you know me so well already... I have a plan x
James: Care to share with the group?
Lily: It may involve a Halloween party, A LOT of booze, and costumes
James: Three of my favourite things!!
Lily: Remus is getting suspicious I gtg, but we can talk more about this later!!
James: Sounds like a plan, bye Lils xx
(25th Oct, Tuesday 16:05)
(we love Taylor)
Moony: I hate public people
Padfoot: we have had this conversation before Moonshine!!??
Moony: doesn’t mean they don’t still suck
Padfoot: eloquence at its finest
Moony: oh shush, let me be a grumpy old man
Padfoot: you’re always a grumpy old man, the man in up has nothing on you
Moony: *gasp*
Padfoot: I think you would even send boy scouts away from your home, and shout at the kids to keep off your lawn
Moony: I don’t have a lawn
Padfoot: principle still applies ;)
Moony: I do not appreciate this form of cyberbullying
Padfoot: Moony I would never bully you!!!!
Moony: I’m afraid I need proof
Padfoot: would someone who was a bully tell the recipient of their bullying about their day !!!!!
Moony: you know what.. on second thoughts I prefer the cyberbullying
Padfoot: too late wolfman
Padfoot: here is what happened to one, amazing, sexy, cool, Sirius Black today
Moony: good lord
Padfoot: Please don't pray to me, I know I seem like a god but I'm actually just a mere mortal, although that is hard to believe considering how devilishly handsome I am ;)
Moony: *fuck you*
Padfoot: putting it in little stars stillll doesn’t make it less of an insult !?!?
Moony: and I'm still just thinking it, not saying it :)
Padfoot: Moonshine I am offended!!
Moony: Padfoot, I am leaving!!
Padfoot: ok well now I'm crying myself to sleep
Moony: don't xx
(rollin with the lgbt)
(18:47)
Marlene: I love that gynaecologists decide to just go out and get a degree in pussy, like that so gay I love it
Dorcas: Babe what did we say about thinking before speaking?
Marlene: that its a waste of time and makes conversations more boring :)
Dorcas: You're lucky you're pretty xx
Marlene: love you too baby girl XX
James: Marlene how many times to I have to tell that just because she's a gynaecologist it doesn't mean my mum is gay!!!
Sirius: James she's literally bisexual??
James: I WAS KEEPING THAT A SECRET FROM MARLS!!!!
Marlene: OOMMMGGGGGG
Marlene: Effie actually is gay!!!
Marlene: this is the best day of my life (no offense Cas)
Dorcas: None taken, I've seen Effie in real life, I get it ;)
Mary: realllllll
Mary: that's the only reason I'm friends with James
James: Guys stop talking about my mum!!!!!
Peter: he's literally crying as we speak
Marlene: sorry James
Marlene: (Mary and Cas, we can discuss this later)
Sirius: Marlene please stop talking about my mum like this!!!
Marlene: Ok so your lesbiphobic??
Marlene: I knew you disliked women for a reason!!!
Sirius: I dislike them sexually because I'm gay??
Marlene: oh fuck yeahhhhh
Marlene: hehhehehhehehe I forgot :)
Remus: Cas did you make cookies again??
Dorcas: No I swear!!
Dorcas: She's been writing a paper for 36 hours with no sleep and I think she may be delirious
James: I will need pictures as proof for future blackmail purposes X
Dorcas: I would never do that I love her too much!!
Dorcas: (I'll send you them later)
Lily: Cas maybe she should like go to sleep?
Dorcas: I took her phone away, turned off the lights and gave her warm milk, shouldn't be long now
Dorcas: Got to go!!
Dorcas: She can't sleep without me beside her :/
Dorcas: Simp
Dorcas: (She is literally the love of my life and I'm gonna marry her one day)
Mary: Y'all are so cute I cannot coppeeeeee
Sirius: Y'all??
Mary: Oh hush you're just jealous because you deleted your grindr account and you're bored
Remus: grindr?
Sirius: shut up right now!!
Sirius: it was a dark time :(
Peter: yeah I had to bring ear plugs every time I stayed over
Sirius: I do not appreciate the slut shaming!!!
Peter: No shame Pads, just be a bit quieter x
Sirius: IM LEAVING !!!
(moonflower supremacy)
(19:38)
Lilyflower: are you ok?
Moony: grindr!!!
Moony: loud??!?
Lilyflower: I could feel you blushing all the way from my flat
Moony: I cant even deny it :/
Lilyflower: want to come over and watch a movie? x
Lilyflower: (and talk about your crush that's 'not a crush')
Moony: be there in ten minutes xx
(Disowned Black Brothers)
(21:23)
Sirius: heyyy Reggie :)
Sirius: there was just a big gc made with all my hogwarts friends and Remus and some of his friends
Sirius: Do you want to join it ?
Sirius: they all wanna meet youuu :))
Sirius: even if it’s only over text for now
Reggie: Ok.
Sirius: yayy
Reggie: Remus is in the group?
Sirius: Yes xx
Reggie: I will be on my best behaviour then.
Sirius: You better!!!
Reggie: So I shouldn't tell him about the David Bowie Magazine you had that you kept in your bedside table?
Sirius: I WILL KILL YOU!!!!
Reggie: No, you love me too much.
Sirius: I can love you and still want to kill you xx
Reggie: True.
Sirius: you have to say I love you back???
Reggie: Why?
Sirius: because you do ??!!!
Reggie: Maybe, but I don't want to admit it, that's embarrassing.
Sirius: I want to see you type it!!
Reggie: No.
Sirius: sayyyy itttt
Reggie: No.
Sirius: say itttttttt
Reggie: You're so annoying
Sirius: so close but the words are, I love you
Reggie: Fine.
Sirius: Go ahead!!
Reggie: I love you too.
Sirius: I knew ittttttt
Reggie: Just add me to the group chat already
Sirius: you demand so much of me :’(
Reggie: It's not like I'm asking you to be mentally stable.
Sirius: ugh imagine ew
Reggie: We could never.
Sirius: I love you Reggie xx
Reggie: I already said it once, that's enough times for the whole month.
Sirius: I'll take what I can :)
Sirius: I will add you now xx
Reggie: Ok.
Reggie: Thank you.