Romantic Homocide

It had been over a week of sharing James’ guest bedroom with Remus, and Sirius was at his fucking limit. Everyday he realized his mistake to put himself in close proximity to him. God, he knew it was hopeless, but he couldn’t stop managing to squeeze his way in Remus’ life. Sirius didn’t even know if Remus was into guys, and not to mention the war going on around them. None of that mattered when his hair was moused up in the mornings, or when his pajama pants hung low. 

Besides the physical stuff, Sirius was also beginning to notice his quirks. Like how he bit his tongue when he pursued his lips, or how he subconsciously cracked his fingers. Anything that was specifically and entirely Remus was now driving him up the wall. 

Sirius wanted to pin him against a wall. 

The overdrive thoughts didn’t help their plans in the slightest. Once they had finished boarding up Mary’s apartment, the girls moved in with her. Mary and Lily sharing a bed. Marlene and Dorcas sharing the guest room. It only took a five second walk to get battle strategies out on the table. 

In the past week, they had successfully shipped a fake Remus to Wales and gotten confirmation from the girl he cornered in the hospital that they believed it. How much she could be trusted was still on the jury, but it was a step in the right direction. 

This however meant that Remus was now officially constricted to the confines of James' apartment. He couldn’t even go through the tunnels and get too close to the windows. Lily had made the joke that he would need to start self-tanning soon, but he didn’t take it well. 

Unsuccessfully, Sirius was not able to postpone his parents' funeral. The morgue kept calling him to say that their bodies couldn’t be held there much longer, and old relatives (which he was sure were still involved with the Death Eaters) wanted to put them to rest. 

Regulus thought it was a great idea to scope out the crowd. See who was still in kahoots with them. But Sirius would rather be shot than begin to think of his parents again. Much less write a eulogy. There was an easy exchange to solve their dilemmas. Regulus talks to Barty and Evan about the Death Eaters, and Sirius plans the funeral. 

When Sirius was supposed to be tracing the eyelashes of Remus’ fluttering right eyes, he now had to scrunch his hair in frustration trying to say anything nice about his parents. My lovely caregivers who never once hugged me and tried to send me to conversion therapy four times before shipping me to boarding school for not joining a cult of murderous elite. No. It read a bit crude. 

Remus tossed, turning to lay on his stomach. He was wearing a tight black tank top that rode up on his hips. Sirius was particularly fond of this fashion choice. He murmured soft things from the bed, Sirius so desperately wanted to be in. It had been a long day of calling casket companies and choirs, because of course mother would request a choir. 

“Sirius.” Remus unmistakingly grumbled. 

“Go back to bed.” He hushed, pulling another hoodie over his head. 

 Remus tossed again to sit up right with dazed eyes. “Are you still writing?”

“Yeah, do you want to help me out, author?” 

“Never written a eulogy before.”

“It’s not that different from your fictional works.”

“Ah.” Remus nodded, bringing the sheets to cover more of his torso. Leaving him helplessly adorable. 

Sirius took a seat at the foot of the bed. “Anything I say will be a lie.” He said in one breath.

“Is there anyone else that can do it?” 

“Regulus, but he’s already being forced to do uncomfortable things. Any other family member will just look suspicious. It had to be me.” 

“What if it wasn’t anyone?” Remus asked. 

“It has to be someone.”

“They’re dead Sirius. You can leave them behind if you want.” 

Biting down on his lip, Sirius forced himself to lock eyes with Remus. “Is that what you’ll do to me? Is there anyone that you stick to?”

He didn’t answer for a long time. Thinking with his eyebrows furrowed. “Lily?” 

“That’s it?”

“I can’t say she’s the only one that deserves it but... yeah.”

Sirius picked at his scab, wanting to flee the conversation. “How did you and her meet? Not anything like this I’m hope.” He gestured vaguely between the two of them.

This made Remus laugh. A sickly sweet sound. “No, uh - being loaded at nineteen is a dangerous thing. I don’t even know how your parents approved me to live here. When I came to from a couple benders she was there and we got on pretty quickly the third time I recognized her. I put her through nursing school and she keeps my life in check so… pretty even exchange.”

“Are you telling me that nerdy quiet Remus and headstrong sophisticated Lily had a frat stage?”

“I don’t even - what?” He blinked in confusion. 

“Frats? Like from college?”

Remus shook his head. “I will never understand American school systems and I'm not going to now.” 

“Well whatever.” Sirius rolled his eyes, eyes drifting to the crumpled papers littering the floor. 

“Sirius.”

“Yeah.” 

“I’m not gonna - drop you after...”

Sirius whipped his head to face him once again, finding his eyes full of earnestness. “What?”

“I move on from people quickly. That’s not gonna the case with you.” 

“Bet you say that to all the girls.” A huff of air blew through his nose in an attempt at a laugh. 

“... Just you.” 

The funeral came quicker than Sirius could have hoped, but he could really only thank himself for cutting every corner imaginable. Slowly caring less and less how the service went. Until it was time to leave and he was doing preparation shots with Remus while James was dragging him out of the apartment. Sirius just tried to remember that at least he could leave the apartment, while Remus had to wait. 

Every member of the noble house of Black showed. Especially the ones still involved with the Death Eaters. Bellatrix, the looniest of all family members, was wearing an unpleasant smile that Sirius wanted to punch out of her. Luckily her sister Andromeda also showed, not without her causing a few heads to turn as she tagged along her ‘slum’ of a husband. 

Sirius was able to get in a few words before he marched towards the podium. Learned her daughter was doing well, but as usual causing havoc. It was those sweet pieces of his family he wished to cling to. 

The crowd went silent with anticipation. 

“Hello everyone.” Sirius cleared his throat. “Thank you for coming here today to celebrate the lives of my parents, Orion and Walburga Black.”

He scanned the crowd. Watching the familiar faces. People who lived in Grimmauld, Regulus’ friends, and just as Sirius was going to continue speaking, Tom Riddle. The head of the Death Eaters. 

“They lived beautiful lives. Took what they wanted and never apologized. They… they…” Sirius flicked through his cards. Wanting nothing more than to set the casket on fire and run away. Go back to the apartment with Remus, where his parents couldn't reach him. “For everything that they did, she was my mom and he was my dad. And I’ll love have a love for them. I will miss them and ache, just as most of you will because it’s not what a person is who makes them what they are to you.”

He could feel Regulus’ eyes burning at him to stop, with a small sympathy in his eyes. James must of have caught it too as he linked arms with him. Squeezing a tad. 

“My mother, Walburga, was calculated and smart. She gave me luscious hair and gray eyes. She gave my brother his wits. My father, Orion, was quiet and simple. He always wanted things in a certain order. Regulus and I never fit that order, but at least he was quiet.” That earned him a few laughs from the crowd. “I want to say they died too soon, but like everything else they did, the two of them picked the precise time.” Sirius trained his eyes on Tom, choosing his words wisely, waiting for a reaction, but he gave none. “They knew how to make an entrance and they knew how to make an exit… I’m sorry for the son I was and our fights. I want to believe they were good, because no matter what, they will forever be missed.”

Regulus shook his head slightly, and Tom began to clench his jaw. 

“One day I’ll understand this part clearer, and I think everyone will too. But like every part of life, right now, it’s all fog. I'm choosing to believe they never had that fog… Goodbye Walburga and Orion. Let’s hope the afterlife treats you how you deserve.” 

After the service and burial, Sirius tried to catch Tom, but he was gone with the shadows. Didn’t even stay to give his condolences. He had to have known Sirius was actively working against him, but the rest of the family seemed unaware. Sticking to their usual punches, not digging for answers but a lack of dignity. 

Four of them had told Sirius they hope he doesn’t make Grimmauld too femmine now it’s under his control. To which he explained it was under Regulus’. Only making them scoff louder. “If you can’t get what’s in your pants through your head, you have no business running a building.” 

Sirius blinked, forgetting people could be close minded after all those years living away from his parents. “I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, I know you wishy washy too, but it’s all facts. That building’s going to go to hell in a couple months.”

“How about we don’t speak till then.” Sirius shook his hand aggressively. “Or ever.” 

On the way home, the whole of their team (minus Remus) sauntered home slowly. Marlene and Dorcas had been not so discreetly sharing a flask and Regulus was gluing his eyes to the floor. Mary, James and Lily huddled ahead. 

“Hey.” Sirius ripped the scab on his lip. “How are you doing?”

“Good. I actually liked your speech.” His face cold. 

“You did?”

“It was honest.”

“Yeah.” 

They continued walking and Sirius didn’t know how to approach it. Not knowing what was out of realms for them. 

“Why didn’t you ever leave?” Certainly he could have come up with something more allusive.

Regulus matched his pace, but nothing was said. Eventually he lifted his head and focused a stare on the group ahead of them. “You don’t think I wanted to?”

“No I - I assumed you did, but…” I didn’t know how many people were viciously cruel right towards your face. 

Regulus never did answer him. 

Going over his parents ‘suicide’ again and again was going to make him sick. Did they even need to at this point? The mission was to disband the Death Eaters, not solve the mystery of his parents. That was already solved. Of course the Death Eaters had done it. They needed to be focusing on why, but no one agreed with Sirius. At least with Dorcas’ insight they’ve learned all that the police know, which was absolutely garbage. Walburga ‘accidently’ shot Orion, then offed herself, was the story they had going. 

The killer, or pawn, had most likely gone through the passageway, shot them both, then left. Regulus didn’t support this theory because he says he would have heard rummaging through the walls, but he was clearly in distress at the time. Who was he to know? 

“They left the Death Eaters two weeks before, shouldn’t we be more concerned with that?” Sirius frowned, staring at the white board in the war room. 

Dorcas sighed. “We’ve been over this. The way they were killed was too sloppy for them. Getting people to believe they killed themselves and not even mentioning how difficult that would have been to pull off.”

“If you don’t believe it was them then why are we even focusing on this?”

“Because they’re obviously connected, we just don’t know how.” 

James pushed his glasses back on his nose. “Let’s take a break.” 

As they made their way out of the room one by one, Regulus hung back. Sirius turned to face him, trying to smile. “You coming?”

“I need to make a call.”

“Alright.”

Regulus sat on one of the swivel chairs, leaning back, waiting for the door to click shut. When he did he searched for Barty’s contact. It didn’t make it past a full ring before he answered. 

“Hi.” His voiced light on the other side. 

“Hey Barty.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure.”

“I need to know what you know of the Death Eaters. Specifically Evan.”

Barty was quiet, but only for a moment. “Reg, what is this about?”

“You know what this is about.”

“The funeral was days ago and they’ve been dead for weeks. Now is not the time to play detective.” 

“My parents are around even after death. You should know.”

“I thought you were finally managing to sleep in your bed again.” 

Regulus sucked in a breath. “You’re tracking my phone?”

“Obviously.”

“And I’m the one that needs to let go.”

“Regulus, talking to you about this, even on the phone, is a mistake. You don’t know who could be listening, and bringing up Evan is dangerous. That’s our friend and you’re going to get him hurt.”

“I’m trying to protect him.”

“How’s that going for you?”

“ Trying. ” 

“They send him to do their dirty work, as usual. He hasn’t mentioned any requests for this month, but when does he ever?”

Regulus closed his eyes. “Thank you.” 

“I do think he was the one that stabbed the guy from your building.”

“Jesus.” 

“It’s hard to say. His friends from there I think have been helping him a lot, so maybe they've been able to refuse.”

“Unlikely.”

“Trying to keep the optimism.”

“Barty… I want to do so many bad things to you.”

Regulus could hear the smirk. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like rip out your fucking throat.”

“My god, no need to be so hasty.” A sound of air, most likely a huff, hit the speaker. “But Regulus… I do love you. And I do stay away from them. The last I’ve heard of them was months ago, an invite to a show. Which you know I declined. If I hear anything else you’ll be the first to know, but leave Evan out of this. He’s had enough.”

“I will.”

Mindlessly watching Sherlock, pretending not to notice Remus’ long fingers flick through his book A Separate Peace, Sirius splayed his hair on the back of the couch. Waiting for James to get back from work and for Regulus to get back with groceries. 

James and Remus adored cooking, and they seemed to be bonding over cooking for the eight of them. They agreed on the calmness of the activity in different ways, but it worked. James and Regulus weren’t bonding in similar efforts. Anything James did, Regulus would scoff and roll his eyes. The two of them had kept arguing the night before whether or not it was safe for James to continue working. Of course, James being who he is, wasn’t in favor of quitting his job. He loved teaching, he always had. Told Regulus that the whole point of what they were doing was to get their lives back. Regulus rejected that idea entirely. Today when everyone woke, James simply sent him to run errands to keep him busy, and surprisingly he agreed. Sirius couldn’t even begin to understand their relationship, but he didn’t want to intrude. His brother was capable of making his own decisions. And he trusted James with his life, he could trust him not to be a complete dick. 

At least not to his brother.

Because if Regulus and him were confusing then he and Lily were the equations to string theory and Sirius was a kindergartener. They had been on a date and Sirius was almost certain they snuck away the night they had gotten pissed drunk to ‘fornicate’. But in the day they never made passes at each other. Never hold a stare too long. Never an attempt at flirting. In the war room they stood on opposite sides. On the couch they kept their distance. Sirius wouldn’t even have noticed if it didn’t painfully remind him of the days he tried to be straight. The girlfriends he didn’t want to touch. 

Scratching Sirius away from his thoughts, Lily was knocking on their window from the fire escape. She had a big tired smile waving enthusiastically at Remus. Who was dozing off with his ankles on Sirius’ lap. Lily proceeded to climb inside, taking advantage of Remus’ unawareness. Standing right behind him before snapping in front of his face. 

“ Jesus! ” He cursed loudly. Blinking at the words he hadn’t registered. 

Lily belted out a laugh, holding her middle. “Oh my god, that never gets old.”

“It’s been old for years.” Remus gritted out. Pushing himself to sit up, but leaving his feet on Sirius’ lap. He took it as a sign to play with the hem of his pants. Not sensually but softly. 

Taking a seat next to Remus, Lily crossed her legs. Turning her head towards the TV. “Season two already?”

Sirius shrugged. “It’s not like we have anything else to do. We haven’t gotten new information in days.”

“I’ve been thinking about that.” Lily creased her eyebrows. “You don’t think we could start scoping out places. Places we know they’ve been.”

“The abandoned warehouse is always littered with them, even if you don’t see it. We would only get another subway incident.” He waved off with a slight frown. Not mentioning how he also never wanted to go back there. Only Sirius went the last time because there was no way Remus would have made it home alive. 

“Are there any other places we’re aware of?” 

Sirius reached to his side, in search of the remote to lower the volumes. “Can we save this for when everyone’s back?”

“No, Lily’s right, these people have to be somewhere. We could know a lot more by getting there.” Remus cracked his fingers. His fingers linger on the knuckle with the soft scar. 

The rest had agreed, and the next day Remus was throwing on a medical mask and sunglasses, preparing to leave. Dorcas was undergoing research on Tom Riddle, so at the moment there was nothing to inspect on him, but Regulus had relented. Giving over an address of a meeting place from a couple months back. He didn’t say how he got it, but everyone knew it was from Evan. Even if the thought had made most of them queasy passing him in the elevator. 

Sirius threw on his mask and began searching for his blackest sunglasses. Rummaging through the drawers when Remus cleared his throat from behind him. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“You really need to get used to me following you, Remy.”

“Remy?”

The location they had was Rockefeller Center and nothing more. Leaving Sirius and Remus trying to unsuspiciously wander through hidden sections for hours, making sure no one saw under their hoods. The entire area had been walked three times when Sirius began to protest their being there. Remus shushed him quickly, telling him to keep his eyes open. 

There was nothing. Not in the storage closets, and not in the backrooms. There was absolutely nothing there and it was feeling like a lost cause. Sirius chewed on his lip, motioning for the bathroom, and Remus followed close behind. There wasn’t enough safety to leave each other out of their sight. In the bathroom, it was empty. Remus clicked the lock, huffing as he peeled his mask away. Sirius did the same.

“I forgot how annoying these felt after a while.” Sirius said as he did the same with his mask, pushing the glasses onto his head. 

Remus hummed in agreement, but said nothing more, leaning his head against the wall closing his eyes. “Aren’t you going to piss?” He mumbled after a while.

“No I - I just wanted a break. Are we sure there’s even anything here? It’s so vague, they could have met anywhere.”

“Don’t you trust Evan’s involvement with them?” Remus asked flatly. 

“Yeah, I know he works for them, and I know he wouldn’t lie to Regulus, but this is so - so fucking stupid.”

“You think everything is stupid.” 

“I think you’re alright.”

Remus chuckled slightly. “No you don’t.” 

Tilting his head, Sirius pretended to think about it. “Yeah, you’re right. Your snoring really takes away from everything.”

“I don’t snore.”

“You do!” Sirius lit up. “And you’re loud. Like a lawn mower just plowing away at dead grass. Rahhh! ” He pulled his hand back in the motion of pulling a lawn mower, making an exaggerated loud noise. 

Remus rushed to keep him quiet, bringing his hand with the perfectly slender fingers to cover Sirius’ mouth. Only it was a tad too aggressive and it pushed him against the wall, bringing Remus with him. Sirius suppressed a giggle, smiling widely.

“Now I know you’ve gotten complaints about that before.” 

“Lily brings it up every chance she gets.” Remus brought his lips into a tight line, thankfully keeping his and Sirius’ position. “I’m not that loud.”

“No, you’re not… it’s more endearing than anything.” His smile was beginning to get lopsided. 

“Endearing?”

“Yeah, and the drool that wets your pillow too.” Sirius teased. At least that’s what Remus could have assumed, but Sirius meant every word. 

Remus’ fingers had remained on his face, and were traveling back towards his mouth. Sirius insecurely tucked away his lips, remembering how butchered they were. A finger tugged on the bottom lip gently but firmly and Sirius slowly let his mouth fall back into place. 

“They look awful, I know.” He murmured softly, not knowing how he got himself in this position. 

“I think they’re endearing.” Remus breathed out. 

“Oh.” 

Oh.

Remus openly stared at every scab and chapped line. Running his fingers over the ridges. Placing his pointer on the dent where his teeth usually sunk. Remus’ face inched forward with the motion by his chin and Sirius tried not to bite down. 

He knew his pupils must have been so wide the silver was long gone. If Remus moved his hips any closer he’d be feeling how turned on he was. The air was heavy and his veins coarse with piping blood. Sirius didn’t dare move. Closing his eyes. Relishing in the feeling of being under Remus’ fingers while he could. 

One of Sirius’ legs had fallen asleep and bucked under his weight. Causing a stagger and for Remus to fall against the wall. Pushing his hands against it for support and slipping when one of the bricks gave in under his weight. 

Sirius turned around quickly recognizing the way the brick fell deep into the wall. Feeling his for more loose bricks and listening to which one’s clicked under pressure. 

“What are you doing?” Remus narrowed his eyes. 

“It’s a trick wall. I think this could be an entrance, if I can find the other bricks to push on… mmhh… okay can you try this one.” He pointed to where he wanted Remus to try. Sirius had been right on each on and on the last one the wall slid back, opening just enough for one person to creep into the walls at a time. 

Slipping their mask, glasses, and hoods back on, they peered in slowly. Following the hallway through its dark turns with nothing but mace, a pocket knife, and their phone flashlights. 

At the end it led to an arena. With dying fluorescent lights and polished floors. Eerily close to his nightmares of what these things must have looked like. There were cages and beds with straps. Sirius shook his head gulping. “I’ve seen enough, I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“I didn’t ask you to come.”

“I’m not letting you do this alone, but please - this is too much.” 

Remus’ viscous exterior dropped for a moment. “I’m sorry… but there’s a reason why we’re here.” 

Sirius wanted to protest more, but a swivel of wheels carried over from a far corner. Remus pushed them back to the hallway, peeking out just enough so that his eyes could find the source. Sirius thanked the heavens for the arrangement. Breathing slowly so as to not have a panic attack. 

What seemed to be a janitor emerged from the otherside of the arena, with earbuds in, and a large trash can pushing in front. The Janitor started to throw away the mess that was left behind blissfully humming the tune to the song. Remus turned to Sirius. “Do you think we got the right place?”

“No, this is definitely it. I guess it’s hard to find janitors that would agree with the morality.” Sirius said with a small shrug.

“It takes them this long to clean up? This is so much evidence.” 

“Enough money and they could get away with anything.” 

“You think there’s more loose ends like this?” Remus stopped himself from speaking more, his mouth held open. Eyes growing wider. 

Sirius was going to ask what had happened when he noticed the swivel and muffled melody had ceased to exist. “He knows we’re here.”