Scars
The days passed slowly in and out of consciousness, but when Remus did wake it took a couple of moments for him to realize the lump on the couch Sirius. Sirius Black. Oh how he would be the end of Remus. The thought almost made Remus forget he was in hospital. Almost. The stench of it was still unbearable, exactly how he remembered it. He would never be able to let go of it.
At that, his eyes started to well tears without his permission. There was so much pain everywhere, but all he could think of was the past. The old pain and scars that won’t close.
Sirius began to stir when his breath hallowed with a whimper. He woke fully when he realized what the sound was. Jumping out of his position to hover over Remus.
“Hey, hey. What’s happening, are you okay?” Those gray eyes screamed with worry, raking over his limp body.
Remus shook his head slightly but desperately. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”
Sirius’ hand grazed over his cheek. “It’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” He ignored Remus’ pleas.
All Remus could do was weap. Feeling the fabric underneath him go damp with tears. Remembering as Sirius stayed by his side. Gripping his hand and hushing soft words. Allowing him to melt away.
Forcing himself to put the sobs away, Remus asked. “What happened to me?”
Sirius swallowed uneasily. “Do you remember that rave you were invited to?”
“No.” He frowned trying to recall, until pieces began to click.
“Yeah.” Sirius recognized his brain patterns. “You were high off your ass.”
Remus blinked pitifully. “And that landed me here?”
“No, um…” He chewed at his beautiful lip. “You were… well you were stabbed.”
“What?”
Sirius squeezed his hand, while his other hand continued to cup his cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”
“But… how am I not dead?” Remus frowned deeply. “And why are you here?”
“Ouch.” He joked.
“Sirius.”
The scab on his lip threatened to rip loose again. “I may have followed you to the rave.”
Remus said nothing, only leaving his eyes wide as brain fought to catch up through a mound of fog. “You- what? Why?”
“I’ve seen those people hang around my brother and I didn’t think they were the best crowd.” Sirius’ composure shrank.
“So you followed me?”
“Yes.” He breathed simply.
There was an embedded silence. An unspoken truth.
“I-I” Sirius stuttered. “I should go get the doctors.”
In a few short moments the nurses and doctors were rushing into his room to check his vitals, go over his injuries, and ask unwanted questions. Another thing Remus hasn’t missed.
“So, Mr. Lupin, looks like you’re no stranger to this place.” The doctor frowned at his chart. “But fortunately the events are unrelated and didn’t trigger anything. Good job on keeping your health up.”
Sirius could be seen fidgeting behind her. Wanting to ask those questions. While Remus groggily sighed.
“You’re lucky to be alive.” The doctor continued, signaling for nurses to adjust his tubes and needles. “If the knife was any higher or lower, you would have died.”
Promptly taking a step back, Sirius choked and issued himself out of the room. The doctor soon behind him. The only one left was the nurse refilling his IV.
“For the record, the two of you make such a cute couple.” He smiled caringly at Remus.
Remus who froze as he didn’t understand. “Couple?”
“You’re boyfriend, silly. Hasn’t gone home since he brought you in. Oh, and he was just so worried. Like a little puppy. You can tell he really loves you.”
“Sirius?”
“Yes.” He laughed. “Unless, you have some other boyfriend.”
Remus closed his eyes. Eyelashes hitting the pillow. “No just the one.”
Obviously Sirius must have lied to be able to check on him, yet Remus couldn’t help the blush that stained his cheeks. He was grown, but he couldn’t feel like a hopeless school boy around Sirius. He made him feel important. How horribly selfish Remus has to be to gush over the fact that someone was worried for him. Ignoring the sleepless nights Sirius has apparently gone through. But it made him smile. Made him feel sickly sweet.
There were also balloons and flowers scattered across the entire room, and Remus didn’t know where they came from. Perhaps Lily could’ve brought some, but there was too for her to be the sole contributor.
Sirius then rushed back into the room, smiling at Remus. A little too wide with words he could tell the other wanted to say. Just he didn’t know what. “What did I miss? Do you want food?”
“Food sounds s’nice.”
Around twenty minutes later, Sirius brought in two plates filled with sandwiches, pudding, and jello. He lifted the bed tray and placed the plates carefully, taking a seat at the end of the bed. Rummaging through his pockets to reveal two apple juices. Mumbling about, “Sorry the actual meal selection was a bit limited.”
Remus began to force himself to sit up when Sirius shut him up with a wave of a remote. He pressed it slowly, raising the bed as Remus adjusted. Sirius also unraveled the utensils, poked the straw through the juice, and peeled the wrapper on the sandwiches.
“Oh I love club sandwiches.” Remus murmured.
Sirius smiled at him. “How are you doing? How’s the pain?”
“Bearable. I am on a shit ton of medication, I would assume.”
“Yeah, I believe they have you on a light dose of morphine right now to keep you awake.” Sirius nodded, taking a bite from the sandwich.
“Well, look at my boyfriend knowing my doses.”
He froze, mid bite, the whites of his eye’s growing. “The nurse said something, didn’t he?”
“I don’t know, boyfriend, what would he say?” Remus continued to tease.
“Okay, okay, I get the message.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “I just needed to say something to get behind the door.”
Eating their food in silence, Remus popped in. “Don’t feel like you need to stay. I get it if you feel guilty ‘cus you’re the one that found me, but I’m fine you don’t need to stay.”
“No I just-” Sirius started but interrupted himself. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Alright.” He nodded slightly.
In the next few minutes, Lily came crashing through the door. Apparently she had Remus moved to the hospital that she worked at with a little help from Sirius. Her shift had just ended and now she was there to gush over him like an overworked mother. With words like, “Are you okay?” and “Do you need your sheets changed?” running out of her mouth. After she had calmed, Lily asked Sirius if he could give them a minute alone. To which he politely excused himself.
“Remus, why am I your emergency contact?” She stood next to his bed with her hands on her hips.
He sighed tiredly, avoiding her stare. “Because mum lives halfway across the world and can’t exactly make it on short notice.”
Lily pursed her lips. “You know she would drop anything at a moment’s notice for you. She’s offered to move about a million times now.”
“It’s not real Lily. She doesn’t actually care.”
She lowered her body to sit next him on the bed. “When was the last time you spoke to her?”
“A year and twelve days.”
“Oh, Remus.” Lily rubbed his arm gently. “I’m glad I’m your emergency contact by the way. Just didn’t think it would be me.”
He rolled his eyes. “Please, what other friends do I have?”
“People care about you.” Her eyes remained earnest. “Look around.”
“I was meaning to ask.” He smiled despite himself.
“Those over there are from me.” She pointed towards all his decorations. “Those are from James.” Her face went a tad red. “He’s so nice… anyway. Those are from Poppy. Those are from Sirius. Those are from Grimmauld. And those are from your publishers.”
“Huh.”
Sometime Later
Sirius was helplessly pressing the buttons on the coffee machine, begging for it to work for once, when Regulus appeared out of the corner of his eye. Causing him to jump about fifty feet out of his body. “What are you doing here?”
“You called.”
“Right.” Sirius threw his unused cup in the trash. “Regulus… that was a Death Eater mark on that knife.”
“I know it’s bad.” He clenched his jaw.
Sirius had to ask. “I need you to be honest with me. Do you know anything about this?”
“What? Are you being for real? Why would I have anything to do with this?” Regulus' unnerving persona broke, with worrisome bleeding through.
He bit his lip, pleading with a look. Begging him to understand.
“I haven’t worked with them since I was eighteen.” Regulus didn’t get it. He didn’t meet him halfway.
“Mom and Dad left a week before…”
“What? Why didn’t they say anything? Why didn’t you say anything?”
Sirius began to walk away from him, but motioned for him to follow. Not speaking until he found an unoccupied room. “I only just found out, and I thought you knew.”
Regulus’ shoulders sank with his expression. “Why would I know?”
“Because- because Reg… our relationship… with them was… difficult.”
He gasped a bit, pointing an accusatory finger to Sirius. “You think I killed them!”
Sirius despairling frowned at him. “Well, yes.”
“God! Is that why you made up that story about the frying pan?” Regulus’ fury burns through him.
“You needed a cover!”
He paused. “You still think I killed them?”
Sirius looked around hopelessly. “You haven’t denied it.”
“No! Sirius, how else do you need to hear it? No, I did not kill our parents.”
“You didn’t?”
Regulus restlessly rain his hands over his head. “They ruled it a suicide three days ago, Sirius.”
“And you believe them? What about the knife?” He reminded him.
“Listen.” His voice stern. “I’ve just been able to start breathing again without them here. I don’t care. I don’t care about who killed them. I don’t care about the Death Eaters. I just want to live in peace.”
“If you really feel that way, you should’ve left ages ago.”
He shook his head. “No. I couldn’t. Because I’m not you. I still had love for them. They were still our parents, and they loved us deep down.”
“Do you believe that?”
Regulus didn’t answer. He stormed out of the room slamming the door. Leaving Sirius alone with his spiraling thoughts. Wishing to have a grip.
Once his breathing evened out, Sirius went back to Remus’ room. Staring at him through a peak in the window’s shades. Seeing his face so relaxed, it almost didn’t look like him. He was sleeping, and his eyebrows turned up in the middle. His body no longer tense. Fingertips limp. Sirius selfishly wished he could stay like this. Instead of his uneasiness when he was awake.
Sirius couldn’t admit it out loud, but everyday he found himself more and more drawn to him. Like magnets inching towards each other. But who was he to ask out his new presumably straight friend, in which they had bonded by investingating his parents murder, out to dinner. It wasn’t realistic, and he probably already drew the line of weird by clinging to him for so long during his hospital experience. But how could he leave?
The Death Eaters were sending a clear message. That it wasn’t a suicide. That they had involvement. That they won’t be silent.
There was no feasible way Sirius could let Remus be alone during this. While the Death Eaters were most likely monitoring that room through the night and day. Watching everyone that goes in and out. In fact there was a blonde sitting down the hallway on those chairs for hours now, who hadn’t moved one bit. Who just so happened to be wearing sunglasses, a mask, and airpods. No doubt reporting to her bosses what she sees.