A House Elf, a God and a Witch walk into a bar…
It was an ordinary Tuesday. She got up, slapped on some make-up, dressed in comfy jeans, a hoodie and sneakers, put her hair in a bun and had breakfast with Steve and Bucky in the kitchen. No weird shit whatsoever. She helped Jane, ignored that idiot from IT who wanted to date her (like hell no) and had lunch with Jane and Thor. Tony stopped by in the afternoon, they chatted for a bit and around 4 PM she walked to the elevator.
‘Jarvis?’
“Miss Lewis?’
“J, have you seen Loki anywhere? I kinda missed the grumpy old man today…’ She grinned at the look Loki would give her as she referred to him as an old man.
‘He was in with dr. Banner all day and afterward he went into his room, miss Lewis,’ the AI answered. She pushed both thumbs up, knowing the AI would see that and walked out of the elevator towards her room. She was contemplating what to do for dinner and had thought about asking Loki to join her.
She knew the God of Mischief was no longer monitored as strictly compared to when he first got into the Tower. He wasn’t considered a good guy as of yet, but he was also no longer bent on subjugating Midgard. You could even say he tolerated people…which was a big step up. He tolerated her anyway. So with that in mind, she opened the door to her room and stepped inside…only to see said God tied to a chair, looking positively murderous.
`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`
About 30 minutes earlier
(Loki POV)
Loki woke up with a splitting headache. He was a God, so this was fairly uncommon. He decided he did not care for it. When he tried to rub his head, he discovered he was tied up. And worse, he couldn’t get out of it. This was simply unacceptable. He was a God, people trembled before him. People used to worship him and now he was tied up? To a chair? How degrading! Oh this mortal would pay.
Loki was convinced she had ordered the little creature to do this to him. All her sweet talk, her so-called kindness. He would make her pay. He would relish in her screams. He would make her beg for his mercy…
He was seething with rage when he saw something in the corner of his eye. He looked and looked again, blinking. What in the Nine Realms was this…this creature. Loki now remembered seeing it, before he lost consciousness. The creature looked at him. He looked at the creature. He was still contemplating talking to it, but the clothing the little creature wore was so damn weird, that Loki couldn’t find the words. That was saying something since he was never lost for words. At that moment the doorknob rattled and in walked the mortal whose demise he was planning.
(Alexis POV)
If looks could kill, she would have died on the spot.
Shit..shit..shittershit shit! What the hell? Why was Loki tied to a chair in her room?
She walked in, closed the door and leaned into it. She gulped at the expression Loki gave her. Her brain stopped working (brilliant timing) and she looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights.
‘Uhm…hi…’ She swallowed audibly. Oh my God, he was going to kill her. Slowly by the looks of it. A nervous giggle escaped her. Just her luck, escape from a deranged madman, to be murdered in her own room by another madman, who happened to be hot as fuck. Thank you universe. Let’s fuck up my life even more…
‘Untie. Me. Right. Now.’ Each word was accompanied by a growl, which did very strange things to her core. Seriously get your mind out of the gutter girl, you’re gonna die!
Before she could think about what to do, a squeaky sound was heard. She looked to the left of Loki, to what was making the sound, and saw the creature. Realization sunk in and with that Darcy Lewis, assistant extraordinaire, formerly known as The Girl Who Lived, Champion of the Light, Alexis Jane Potter, dropped her head in her hands and slid to the floor.
(Loki POV)
What? What the bloody hell was going on? Why didn’t she untie him this instant? That brat!
‘What is that thing?’ He demanded to know. Might as well get some answers. The girl looked up, looked at him, at the creature and threw her hands in the air with a desperate gesture, before burying her head in her hands yet again.
‘Dobby is sorry,’ The creature walked towards the girl. He stopped in front of her. ‘Dobby saw him see the books, the special books. He was snooping, Dobby had no choice.’ The girl shook her head. Loki thought he heard her mutter something, but he couldn’t make it out. The creature obviously did, because he suddenly turned around and ran towards the table and slammed his head against it. To say Loki was shocked was an understatement. What the hell?
This, however, got the girl into action, because she leaped to her feet, ran towards the creature and held him back, as he attempted to slam his head down again.
‘No, Dobby! Stop! I forbid you to hurt yourself!’ The creature, who was evidently called Dobby, stopped, turned around and said in his squeaky voice: ‘Dobby is very sorry, bad Dobby. Dobby has made problems for his wi…’ He didn’t finish his sentence but instead looked up in fear to Loki.
The girl followed his gaze and was clearly distraught. She swallowed.
‘To answer your question. This is a House Elf. His name is Dobby…and he...uhm, well he is mine. My friend.’ The words were softly spoken. Gone was the brave girl who normally gave him sass. She was like a completely different person.
‘Your friend? What do you mean by yours? Did you order him to tie me to this chair?’
The girl shook her head. She stood up, looked down on Dobby and said softly: ‘No, but he is very defensive. He should not have done this. I’m so sorry.’
Sorry? She was sorry? He would show her sorry! He huffed and sneered at her. ‘Not yet, little girl, but you will be. You both will!’ Her eyes widened at his statement. She trembled and looked down at Dobby.
‘Untie me!’ Dull green eyes found his again. She shook her head. ‘If I do that now, you will kill me before I can blink.’ Well she wasn’t wrong.
She took a deep breath and looked at him. She couldn’t Obliviate him. Shit!
‘Please, I can explain everything, will you please agree to hear me out?’ He squinted his eyes. He was still incredibly angry, but also slightly curious. He did want to know more. He would hear her out. So he gave her a nod. He would listen. She better had a hell of a story.