Chapter 23
Harri found herself in a side room that looked an awful lot like the Weasley’s yard. She slid to the ground and hugged her knees. She knew none of it had happened yet, but she was just so angry. It could have happened. There was a possibility all of it could have been her reality. How could they all treat her that way? Ron especially. He was supposed to have her back no matter what. She ripped at the grass furiously. None of this was fair. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Why was everyone always so willing to think the worst of her? Frustration at the entire situation swelled in Harri. She could have handled this all if Ron would have stood by her. During her second year, she had him. She also had the twins. She didn’t have any of that in this book. Ron had turned his back on her, and Fred and George didn’t believe she didn’t cheat her way in. Other than Hermione she was all alone. And as much as Harri loved Hermione, the other girl didn’t know much outside of the library. Books weren’t going to cheer her counterpart up.
Harri heard a door open and groaned when Fred walked in. That was the last thing she wanted right now. She wanted to be left alone. She didn’t need the guilt and other emotions seeing Fred brought right now.
“Go away,” she demanded harshly, tone clipped.
“Don’t be that way,” he grinned back at her ignoring her words as he came further into the room.
“I mean it, Fred. I am not in the mood,” she warned, sending him her best glare.
Fred continued to move closer to her as if she hadn’t spoken until he was sitting across from her.
“Why are you so mad?” he asked when she didn’t protest again. “It’s not like any of it’s going to happen now.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Harri said between clenched teeth. “I want to be left alone…”
“Come on..” he pestered, sending Harri’s rage tethering dangerously close to the edge. “You can tell me. I could help.”
“Oh like you’ve helped in the book,” Harri retorted sharply. “I don’t recall hearing you do a goddamn thing to help. Where’s your support there? You shoved it in everyone’s face that they were stupid to believe I was the heir of Slytherin my second year, but now you can’t believe I’m not a cheat? You went and chose Ron’s side. You don’t even seem to care that the whole school’s wearing badges saying I stink.”
“That’s not fair and you know it,” Fred shot back defensively. “It sounds like I have my own thing going on in the books. And I don’t recall you coming to me to ask me to do something about it either. I’m not a mind reader Harri.”
“Up to something you won’t share with me because you don’t trust me,” Harri muttered bitterly, “because you think I’m a no-good liar and cheat.”
“You want to talk about not sharing,” Fred snorted rudely, his eyebrow raised challengingly. “What about you? You don’t tell me anything. If it weren’t for these books you would have never told me about your family or the stone, or the chamber, or the shrieking shack. You don’t trust me with your secrets. You don’t trust me at all it seems.”
Harri's temper finally got the best of her. How dare he! Her home life was nobody’s business, and all the other stuff wasn’t even hers to share. It wasn’t like she enjoyed having to keep all these secrets. She never wanted to be part of the secrets at all!
“You want me to share?” She hissed in a murderous tone, and her words meant to hurt. “Fine. How about this? I snogged Cedric Diggory and I enjoyed it. A lot. How’s that for sharing?”
ooOoo
Hermione
Hermione watched Harri storm off leaving the room speechless. She didn’t know what she could do to help her friend. She didn’t know if she should after Harri’s counterpart had brushed off everything Hermione had done for her in favor of Ron.
“Sweety, do you have a second?” her mother’s voice brought her out of her thoughts. “We’d like to talk with you for a bit.”
“I guess,” Hermione nodded her gaze still on where Harri had vanished off too.
Her parents led her to an empty table the room had summoned for them away from everyone else.
“We’ve noticed throughout these books you struggle with proper communication with your friends,” Josephine said gently, placing a hand on Hermione's.
“I can communicate,” Hermione started to protest.
“A prime example of what we mean,” Nick Granger cut in, stopping his daughter in her tracks.
“Part of proper communication, that’s healthy, is the ability to listen, sweetie,” Josephine sighed, “and I’m afraid we failed to teach you that.”
“I listen…”
“You don’t though,” Josephine shook her head gently. “When Ron tried to tell you how he felt about the elves you spoke over him and ignored him. You did much the same here. While I’m glad to see you're so passionate about something like this, I don’t think you understand that you can’t push your views and ideas on others. You have to be able to discuss delicate matters with others and accept their opinion on them even if you don’t agree. Neither Harri or Ron seem like people who wouldn’t have supported you in S.P.E.W. if you had gone about it better. Do you really think Harri wouldn’t help any elf that asked her for it? After seeing how hard Ron fought to stop Buckbeak from being wrongfully executed, do you think he’d stand by and watch a House elf be abused?”
Hermione shook her head. Her friends weren’t the type not to help those in need. She wouldn’t be friends with them otherwise.
“So maybe next time ask how they feel about it all before you go on a warpath? Try and understand their points of view. Let them speak instead of telling them what they should think.”
ooOoo
Sprout
Pomona Sprout heaved a heavy sigh as she watched young Miss Potter flee. Flee because of the way she and her house had treated the girl yet again. The guilt had not left Pomona since she had heard even she was not above treating a child differently over a silly competition. Yes, one of her own had the spotlight taken from them by Miss Potter, but she was a teacher first and foremost. She should have risen above. Her duties were to all the students of Hogwarts, not just her own house. She had failed in her role as a teacher, something she had vowed never to do. She shuddered to think she knew about those awful badges and did nothing about them. No matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn't come up with a single reason she would not know about those badges. The children weren't hiding them in the books and gossip spread along Hogwarts like wildfire. She dropped her head into her hands as she thought about how in a few short months she would go against everything she ever believed in as a teacher.
“Mind if I join you,” she heard her colleague Professor Flitwick ask as a chair scraped against the ground. It seemed he was going to join her no matter what she answered.
Pomona lifted her head and sighed, “How are you so put together after hearing we’ve allowed our students to harass Miss Potter yet again?”
“That’s what I wish to discuss with you.”
Pomona sat up straighter interested in what he had to say.
“I think Madam Promfrey was right when she told us we are creating cults with the houses,” he said with sadness wrapping around each word he spoke. “We divided everything they do into houses. We pit them against each other at every turn. There isn’t anything I can think of that encourages the Houses to interact or help one another.”
“And what do we do about that?” she asked, hoping he had a solution to their issues.
“We start mixing the classes,” he suggested, “Maybe even an honors class for those like Miss Granger. I don’t think there is anyone on the Hogwarts staff that thinks Miss Granger's classes do enough to stimulate her. I can name several other students who would benefit from advanced classes as well.”
Pomona nodded, liking that idea it could work or at the very minimum promote house diversity. They could always make a competition between the classes that were based on grade and class, not house. One thing they could count on was how competitive Hogwarts students were.
“How do we go about all of this?”
Neither one of them had an answer to that question. They both agreed they would talk to the other teachers to see if they had any better ideas first. They could always figure out how to make it all work later. It would take at least a year to plan it all out. Neither cared how it happened; they just wished to close the gap between the houses.
ooOoo
Cedric
Cedric worried about Harri, but he spotted Fred Weasley disappearing behind a door that vanished after he passed through. Cedric was glad Harri had a friend with her. While he wanted to comfort the girl himself, he knew that would be a terrible idea right now. He was part of the reason Harri was hurting. He could also admit, he didn’t think he should be the one to comfort her while his own feelings about the girl were still a tangled mess.
“Mum, do you think we could talk,” he asked, ignoring his father completely.
Cedric watched as her gaze darted between him and his father and he shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about that. He followed her away from his father into a side room. He paced while she just stood there oozing patience waiting for him to speak. How was he supposed to tell her he had failed to take her advice when she had tried to give it?
“Ced, hunny, what’s going on?” his mother asked as she caught his arm to stop him. “You can tell me anything you know that.”
“I know, Mum,” he sighed, gently tugging his arm out of her grasp. “I just don’t know how to put it all into words.”
Cassandra cupped her son's cheek, wishing she could ease whatever it was that worried him so much as she suggested, “Why don’t you tell me the topic of this discussion at the very least? Maybe that might help.”
“Harri,” she managed to finally pry from her unwilling son. She had some thoughts about why the young witch could be bothering her child.
“And does this have to do with your growing attraction to Harri?”
Cedric nodded and she was afraid that was the case. She doubted her son would want to hear anything she had to say about that matter.
“My stance on that is still the same Ced,” she sighed wearily. “You two are growing closer even I can see that. If you can’t put your feelings for her to the side and are going to let it be the reason you continue to associate with her then you just need to end the friendship before you both get hurt.”
“I do want to just be her friend though,” Cedric cried as he began to pace again. “I just don’t know how to separate it all. It’s confusing and complicated. And I don’t know what to do about any of it.”
“You need to figure out why you want to be her friend. If you can’t find a reason that doesn’t come back to your feelings for her, then there isn’t anymore you really can do honey. If this really is all about you really just wanting to be her friend, then treat her as if she was any one of your other friends and be ready to accept friendship is all you may ever have from her.”
ooOoo
Remus
Remus sat at a table alone, his spirits low. His and Harri’s relationship seemed to be in a constant state of turmoil. He had hoped they were on the right path, but his failure to reach out to her in this book had set them back. Was he making the right choice by staying in Harri’s life or was he just going to continue to hurt her?
“Oh enough with the self-doubt,” James' voice surprised him in the back of his mind.
Remus shook his head as he told himself he was hearing things.
“Don’t ignore me,” James demanded and if Remus closed his eyes he could see the pout that would be on Jame’s face.
“What do you want?” he asked, feeling a little silly. This was just his imagination.
“I want you to stop being a bullheaded cunt and fix things with my daughter,” James huffed in his head. “She loves you, you know.”
“But..”
“No buts. I spent years watching you convince yourself you don’t deserve to be loved, that you didn’t deserve to have a family. Which is ridiculous, but even if it were true Harri deserves to be loved and have a family. You could give that to her if you let yourself.”
“I…”
“Come on,” James pleaded. “Are you really going to let Sirius raise a teenage girl by himself? We both know that will end in disaster or at least one of them getting arrested. We made Sirius Godfather with the understanding you’d be by his side to help him along.”
ooOoo
Harri
After Fred had left, it had taken Harri a while to calm down. Once the rage had finally left her all that was left was regret. She shouldn’t have told Fred she had kissed Cedric like that. She had done it to hurt him, and she had succeeded. Everything was such a mess. She didn’t even know where to begin with an apology. Wearily she ran a hand down her face as she added this to her mounting pile of problems.
“Sitting in here isn’t going to solve any of them,” the Voice said softly.
Harri glared at the ceiling. They had let Fred in here. If not for the Voices she wouldn’t have snapped the way she had.
“You losing your temper isn’t our fault,” The voice rebutted firmly. “You aren’t a small child without impulse control. Hurting Fred was your own choice.”
Harri crossed her arms and looked away as she muttered bitterly, “Get out of my head.”
“As you wish.”
The Voice vanished altogether and as much as Harri hated to agree with them, staying in here wasn’t going to help. Reluctantly she dragged herself to her feet and made her way toward the main room. While she wanted to go find Fred and apologize until she was blue in the face if that was what it took for him to forgive her, she knew logically they both needed time to digest all of it before they spoke again. She was going to go fix her next biggest issue: Ron and his abandonment of her. It’s what had her so angry in the first place. It hurt the most out of everything she had heard so far. It had left her devastated. She had never once thought she would ever lose Ron in her life.
Harri dragged her feet as she made her way toward who she thought was her best friend. She stopped in front of him, Hermione having vanished the second she saw Harri making her way over. An awkward silence overtook them, as neither of them wished to be the first to speak.
“I…” Ron started unsurely and Harri raised a brow at him in return. He was the one that had messed up, not her.
“Look,” he began rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m not going to make excuses for my counterpart. He was stupid to let a tournament get in between our friendship. I know you aren’t a liar. I don’t know how to fix this, or show you I really am sorry.”
“I just don’t understand why you're jealous of me at all, and I don’t think it’s fair of you to take your anger out on me when I don’t think your jealousy really has anything to do with me personally.”
Ron stared at her confused. Of course, he was jealous of her. It’s why his counterpart had chosen not to believe her. Hermione’s counterpart had said so.
“You’ve always known who I was,” Harri continued on, finally letting all her thoughts out. “You’ve known I was Harriet Potter since that day on the train. You sought me out. That hasn’t changed. I’m still exactly the same person you met that day. I have shown you nothing but loyalty for three years now. I don’t think it’s fair you're using me to blame your own issues on.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve created some stupid competition between you and your siblings only you're aware of and now you’ve gone and put me in the middle of it! Instead of dealing with your own insecurities, you’ve gone and made them my problem and it’s not right. You want to make things right? Go deal with whatever issues you have with your family instead of taking them out on me. I’m not just going to sit and wait for you to be an asshole for no reason this time around.”
ooOoo
Bill was enjoying his lunch with Fleur, he had enjoyed every time he had gotten to spend alone with the bright witch so far. Fleur was fascinating. The younger witch had slowly started to take over his thoughts. He noticed his attention being drawn to her several times throughout the day. His gaze found her often wanting to see her reactions to the books. He hadn’t missed the way she looked over at him in panic when her counterpart seemed to have been flirting with Cedric Diggory. He watched her now as she spoke about what she thought was going to happen in these books, her own gaze circling the room in search of her fellow competitors as she spoke about each one of them. When Diggory was brought up, Bill took the opportunity to tease Fleur.
“I would not have minded competing with him…”
“Because he’s easy on the eyes?” Bill questions, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he added, “Your counterpart seemed thrilled to have him as her competitor.”
Bill had just watched to see her blush and maybe even be a little embarrassed. He hadn’t expected her to turn the tables on him by turning her beautiful eyes on him and saying with an eyebrow arched, “Maybe she just didn’t know there was a better option. There is a better option, no?”
Bill could fill his own blush rise as Fleur raked her eyes up and down him making her point.
“If you wanted another option it’d be available,” he finally managed to say as he looked her over in the same manner.
“And if I wanted that option?”
“It’d be yours.”
ooOoo
The Slytherins
Blasie looked around at his fellow Slytherins, each one of them sneaking peeks at where Harri stood with Ron Weasley in what looked like a heated conversation. He cursed their luck. They had almost been completely guilt-free in her eyes before those badges and the article. It would have been the perfect opportunity for them to get closer to her. He wondered if there was a way to spin all of this and make it Draco’s fault. Would she believe that Draco had pushed his biased views on their counterparts, but now that they knew better there was no way they would have supported his petty schemes? Potter and the Gryffindors had all thought Slytherin as a whole was terrible at one point or another because of a few individuals. It might work.
“What are we going to do?” Daphne finally asked, being the first to break the unsure silence around the table.
“Is there anything we can do?” Tracy threw out next sneaking another glance over at Harri. “I doubt we’re suddenly going to stop wearing those badges and mocking her in the books.”
“Can’t we just apologize?” Astoria questioned, not wanting the budding friendship she had made with Harri to end so suddenly.
“Do you really think that would work?” Blaise scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “She was so angry in the books she was thinking about using Crucio on Professor Snape. I doubt she’s not just as angry now. You saw the way she stormed off, and the way Weasley came out of that room looking like a kicked puppy. If she’s willing to make someone she actually likes run with their tail tucked between their legs, what do you think she’d do to us?”
“Do you think she’d actually have used it?” Tracy wondered. Harri just didn’t seem like the type.
“Maybe,” Blaise shrugged. “Who knows? People can only be pushed so far, and from everything I’ve heard Harri’s been pushed further than most. I don’t doubt she could use it with the way she threw off the Imperius curse. Honestly, with everything we’ve learned I'm surprised she isn’t on her way to being the next Dark Lord. I wouldn't blame her with the way people treat her. If it was me, I’d probably already be plotting to make everyone pay.”
“But Harri isn’t you,” Daphne cut in firmly. “She isn’t any of us. Even when backed into a corner with everyone against her, she always chooses to do the right thing. She isn’t the type to want others to suffer needlessly. I’ll admit it was shocking to hear her want to hurt Professor Snape, but she’s never actually raised her wand against any of those who have tormented her.”
“That right,” Astoria nodded before adding her two knuts. “I think we should be honest with her. From everything we’ve learned about her so far it’s what she wants the most. If we just apologize and tell her everything, I really think she’ll appreciate it.”
“You want to tell her everything?” Blaise blinked at the utter nonsense he was hearing right now. “You really think she’s going to take kindly to the fact we were sent to be her friends so we and Narcissa Malfoy could use her?”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Astoria shrugged. “But I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of feeling like I’m lying to her and I don’t want to use her. Harri’s offered us nothing but genuine friendship from the start and I want to respond to that, not all of this deceit.”
ooOoo
Hufflepuffs
The Hufflepuff table sat in silence as shame washed through all of them. They had once more jumped to conclusions and hurt Harri. None of them could even say they knew Harri well enough to even know if she was the type to cheat her way into the tournament before all of this happened.
Sure a couple of them were friendly with her when they had class together but that was it. None of them ever went out of their way to talk to her. None of them could honestly say what she even enjoyed doing during her free time. Truth be told, Harri was rarely ever seen just wandering Hogwarts. If they did see her other than class and at meal times, she was in the library doing homework or on her way back from Quidditch practice.
While it would be nice to blame Harri's busy schedule on none of them knowing the girl, they could say how were they supposed to know she wasn’t a cheat? They could all admit that none of them had ever tried to be more than an acquaintance with her. How could any of them have tried to bridge the gap they had made during her second year? None of them had the courage to even try to befriend her after they had tarnished her reputation the way they had.
Not a single person at the table thought they deserved Harri’s forgiveness a second time much less the first. Hopelessness filled them all. Their own Head of House couldn’t even look at them. They had dragged everything it meant to be a Hufflepuff into the mud and then stomped on it for good measure.
ooOoo
Harri had been bombarded with students and teachers coming up to her after she had left Ron. They all wanted to apologize for their counterparts' behavior. While she knew it was petty she only half listened to them as her mind wondered.
How many times was she going to be expected to just turn the other cheek? When was enough going to be enough? If she just forgave now would they all just assume it would be fine the next time they decided to treat her like the scum that collected at the bottom of their shoes? How sorry could any of them really be if it continued to happen?
Through all of the apologies, Harri had yet to actually say a single word, merely waiting for them to be done and leaving her with her thoughts. It might have been rude not to reply at all to them, but she just didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know if she wanted to accept any of their apologies, and while she did feel a little guilty that they all left her looking as if she had personally killed their pet, she also felt as if they deserved it. She knew just telling everyone it was fine would make them all feel better, but what about her? Not a single person who had come over had made her feel any better about what was going on in this book. If she refused to forgive them this time would it hurt less if they all were to turn their backs on her again? While carrying around all this anger was exhausting it might be better than the hurt she had felt when they all once more spat on her.
“Because that’s a healthy way to deal with it,” the Voice whispered in her head.
“I’m still mad at you,” Harri snapped back, frustrated that nobody seemed to want to just leave her alone with her thoughts.
“Forgive them or not, that's your choice,” the Voice continued gently, much to Harri’s annoyance. She'd prefer if they’d get mad. But no they had been nothing but kind and understanding with her from the start. “But if you’re only refusing to forgive them because you're scared of getting hurt again, don't you think it’d get a little lonely?”
“I’m used to being alone,” Harri sniffed sourly.
“Doesn’t mean you want to be alone,” the Voice pointed out softly. “You say you're fine with just having Ron and Hermione by your side, yet each year when your classmates you never bothered to let close turn on you, you get angry about it. Why?”
Harri paused to think. Why did it matter to her so much? Ron and Hermione were the only people she could say knew her more than in just passing, not counting the twins. She never really had time to grow her circle of friends. It never even crossed her mind to try and get closer to the other students. She still preferred a friendly relationship over hostility, but she was used to the way the other students treated her. Dudley had made sure of that. So why did it bother her so much?
“Why did you never try to make more friends than Hermione and Ron?” the Voice questioned interrupting her train of that. “Were you perhaps afraid of rejection? Of others using you for your fame? Or were you afraid that others would see you weren’t worth anyone’s time let alone Ron and Hermiones and convince them of leaving you all alone again?”
“I…”
“We’re not saying you have to forgive anyone Harri,” the Voice continued on. “You have every right to be angry at them but it’s what you do with that anger that’s going to shape you for the rest of your life. Sirius and Snape never learned to deal with their own anger and they both have their own unique issues. Neither of them ever opened themselves up to others either and we don’t want to see you close yourself off completely because you're afraid of getting hurt. Even if you never forgive anyone for their actions in any of these books, we hope you think about what we have to say and let yourself continue to see the good in others. It gets better, we promise.”
ooOoo
The Weasleys
Ron had begrudgingly gathered his parents and siblings into a side room to talk. He didn’t really understand what Harri had meant when she had gone off on him, but if talking to them all would get him his best friend back then he had to try. He didn’t want to lose Harri over this. He never wanted to lose Harri. The idea of her not in his life felt wrong. Ron stood nervously as his family all stared at him expectantly. While none of them had been hard to get to come here which he was thankful for, he still had no idea what he was supposed to say.
“Are you going to get to the point of this little family meeting any time soon,” George asked, a little annoyed Ron had gathered them all and then failed to say anything so far.
“Just give me a minute,” Ron snapped back, crossing his arms. This was clearly a mistake. They couldn’t even let him gather his thoughts before they started in on him!
“Shouldn’t you have known what you wanted to say before making us all come here,” Fred complained next. He didn’t particularly want to be here. He had his own issues to figure out.
“Lay off,” Bill said, rolling his eyes at his younger siblings. “Ron will talk when he’s ready.”
Ron smiled gratefully at Bill. At least he knew Bill would at least try and keep the twins in line. He was still nervous, but he felt better knowing he had someone on his side.
“I don’t really know how to say what I want to say,” Ron admitted looking at his feet. “Harri thinks my counterpart is being a dick to her because of my issues with all of you and she doesn’t want anything to do with me until I talk about it with you.”
Molly and Arthur shared a look as they remembered their conversation with the Voice. How badly have they failed their child that a stranger knew more about him and his relationships than they did?
“We can’t help if we don’t know what those issues are,” Molly said gently, already knowing where this was going but wanting to give Ron the chance to tell them.
“I’m not even sure I want to say,” Ron confused meekly peeking over at the twins and Ginny before continuing, “I don’t want to be mocked over it. I already know it’s stupid.”
Charlie sent an unimpressed look to his youngest siblings and made a gesture for them to make this right. He would get Bill to help him curse them all if they don't reassure Ron he could talk to them.
“We aren’t going to mock you. We are capable of listening to other people's issues without making it a joke,” Fred huffed a little offended. Sure they liked a good joke but they knew when a matter was serious. They never went out of their way to torment Ron over his fear of spiders after all. They did have morals.
“Sure,” Ron snorted rudely. “Because you three have never gone out of your way to make Percy feel miserable about something he wanted to talk about.”
“You do it too,” Ginny defended hotly. It was just the way they were. It didn’t mean they wouldn’t have been there for Percy when he actually needed them.
“Fine,” Ron conceded. “I do it too and I’ll admit I probably shouldn’t. But how was I supposed to know I could talk to any of you? It’s not like any of us talk about matters that matter with each other. I didn’t even know you wanted to start a joke shop! Ginny was going to tell Harri about the diary but not any of us!”
The Weasleys all looked at each other as Ron’s words washed over them. He was right. When Ginny was scared and being possessed none of them were the people she wanted to talk to. She had wanted to tell Harri everything, not them.
“You’re right,” Arthur sighed as he felt weary down to his very bones. They had failed all of their children it seemed. Where had they gone so wrong? “How about this? If it’s really important you all can call a meeting like this and we all agree to just listen to what you have to say. And then we can go from there.”
After everyone had agreed to this Ron found the courage to continue to talk about what was really bothering him. “I’m tired of feeling as if I’m a spare. I know we don’t have much money, but I would like just once to feel as if I matter. I know why I get hand-me-downs, but don’t you think just once in a while I can get something new too? Why was I the only one with ugly robes? I'm just so tired of feeling like I’m an afterthought. And being Harri’s best friend doesn’t help any of that. If I'm not in this family's shadow, I’m in hers. Nobody ever just sees me as me or picks me first. I know I’m not as smart as Charlie, Bill, and Percy, or hell even the twins. And I know I’m not popular or on the Quidditch team like Charlie and the twins. Or a girl like Ginny. But I want a place to feel like I belong without it being brushed over because one of you has already done it.”
To Ron’s surprise, it was Percy who spoke, “Who cares if one of us has done it first? I’m not the first Head Boy in this family, and you don’t hear anyone telling me it doesn’t matter because Bill was Headboy first. Mum and Dad didn’t dismiss my accomplishments. None of us tell the twins it doesn’t matter they got on the Quidditch team because Charlie was captain first. Why does any of it matter? What we accomplish at Hogwarts and when isn’t important. Hogwarts is just a stepping stone. Once you graduate, you can go into a career none of us have chosen. Bill and Charlie both chose their own path and even though I did the same things as Bill in school I’m not going to be a curse breaker like he is. Even though the twins followed Charlie into Quidditch doesn’t mean they're going to be Dragon Tamers.”
Ron was stunned. He had never really thought about it like that. Before he had much more time to think his mother spoke.
“We can see about budgeting to get you at least one set of your own clothes every year. Especially if we aren’t buying so many books by having you guys share them. I want you to feel like you are your own person,” she offered softly. “I’m sorry we’ve made you feel like you aren’t a priority in our lives.”
“He’s a priority in Harri's, maybe we should take some notes from her,” Bill chuckled trying to lighten the mood.
Ron stood there in silence unsure how to process any of this. He came in here thinking they were just going to brush all of his feelings to the side. And Percy had given him a lot to think about.
ooOoo
After hearing several people apologize to her, Harri found herself finally alone. She found an empty table to sit at and laid her head in her arms. She was exhausted. She hadn’t even bothered to eat yet. Her stomach was far too twisted up to even consider food right now. She had hoped these books would help clear Sirius's name and while they had done exactly that, she still wasn’t happy. She had been forced to face far too many emotions in such a short time. She just wanted all of it to end. She knew they had to continue to read, but she no longer wanted to. She didn’t want to know what kind of hell she would be subjected to next. She didn’t want to have to live up to what expectations these books would give people about her. The longer they all read the further from everyone she had started to feel. Why was all of this happening to her?
Remus watched Harri from afar and he couldn’t help but notice how small she looked sitting alone. She looked devastated and his heart broke for her. He wanted to go over and comfort her, but what could he do for her? How could he help when he was one of the people who had made her feel as if she was alone in this world? James' words from earlier echoed in the back of his mind and before he knew it he was striding across the room towards Harri. This was probably a terrible idea, one which he had no plans for whatsoever, but he couldn’t bear to just sit by and watch her continue to suffer. Sirius wouldn’t have hesitated to go over and comfort the young witch. He needed to do better.
“Hey pup,” he said awkwardly, hating the way he didn’t sound sure of himself even in his own ears.
“If you're going to apologize to me I don’t want to hear it,” Harri mumbled flatly into her arms, not bothering to pick up her head.
“Duly noted,” he chuckled as he pulled a chair out. She hadn’t told him to leave so he had hope this wouldn’t end in another disaster. He racked his brain for anything he could do to lift her spirits. He cursed the years he had wasted hiding from her, from his own pain and fear of rejection. If he had been the person she deserved they wouldn’t be here sitting in this awkward silence. He should know how to cheer her up, and he hated himself for not knowing. He didn’t know a single thing about the young witch in front of him, not really.
“Instead of an apology, how about I tell you stories about your parents?”
Harri’s head lifted at that as she eyed him cautiously. It hurt knowing he had shattered the trust she had in him, but he knew that was entirely his fault.
“I know I’m a little late on this,” he continued sinking further in his chair, “And I know I have a lot to make up for, but let me try. Let me show you I’m capable of being open and honest with you.”
“Okay…” Harri hesitantly said, sounding just as unsure as he had when he had come over here. “But I don’t want to just hear about them. I want to know more about you and Sirius too.”
“I can do that.”
Remus spent the next two hours telling her stories about their years at Hogwarts and what life was like before her parents went into hiding. He answered any question she had that he knew the answer to no matter how much it hurt to remember. He knew he would probably never be able to make things up to Harri, but this was a start. He could only hope welcoming her to pry into every aspect of his life to her heart's content was enough to get his foot in the door. They had only been in this room for a short while but he had latched onto the idea of raising Harri with Sirius, of being a family and he didn’t want to let go. He knew there was so much more they needed to talk about and discuss, but seeing the delight in her eyes as he told her about the time they had dyed her father's hair a lovely shade of orange was more than enough reason to put it off for now. But soon all three of them needed to sit down and talk about how they were going to make all of this work. For now, he wondered which story she’d like to hear next.
ooOoo
Sirius knew he needed to talk to Harri about how protective she felt over him, and how stressed his counterpart was making both her and her own counterpart, but first, he wanted to speak to Cassandra. Harri was so angry right now and he didn’t want to make that worse by saying the wrong thing. He wanted a healthy relationship with her, however. One where he was the adult and did the worrying and protecting, not the other way around. He was aware he had a lot of work to do on himself before he was qualified enough to raise her, but he didn’t want to start off a failure. She was already going through all this for him. Anything he could do to make her life easier he would. He was going to devote the rest of his life to her happiness whether she liked it or not.
Cassandra was easy enough to find. She looked to be arguing with her husband and Sirius waited patiently for them to finish. He didn’t think he would ever see what she saw in him. Everything Sirius had seen from Amos Diggory so far left him wondering how his son had turned out to be so polite and kind. He was willing to bet it was all Cassandra’s doing. The woman had been a godsend since they had come to this room. Sirius wondered what he could possibly do to repay the woman for everything she had done to help him so far. He was brought out of his thoughts by Cassandra approaching him. She looked rattled and he wondered if he should have put this conversation off. He didn’t want to burden her with his problems when she looked as if she could use a friend of her own right about now.
“Are you alright?” he asked as she got closer, noticing the frown she was trying to fight off.
“I’m fine,” she reassured, not convincing Sirius in the slightest.
“Really I’m fine,” she said again when she noticed his disbelieving look. “You looked like you wanted to talk to me and I promise listening to your issues will be far more pleasant for me than talking about my own.”
Sirius shook his head at her but offered his arm to her anyway as she suggested, “Accompany me on a stroll?”
Cassandra took his arm and he let her set the pace of their walk. She was shorter than he was but he had no issue matching her pace.
“You want to talk about Harri?” Cassandra guessed after they had walked a couple of feet in comfortable silence.
“Only if you're up to it,” Sirius confirmed tiredly as he continued to follow her lead. “I don’t want you to think I only want to talk to you if it benefits me. We could talk about something else if you want.”
“I’ll remember that,” Cassandra replied gingerly as she slowed their pace. “But for now I’d like to hear your concerns. Later when this is all over I expect coffee and an ear to listen to my daily woes and my poor neglected plants.”
“Absolutely,” Sirius agreed with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t you know I happen to be an excellent listener? Though your plants aren’t any better off in my hands.”
They walked for a little while letting the chatter of the room wash over them while Sirius gathered all of his current worries about Harri and picked through which ones were most prominent to what was going on now.
“I’m worried about how angry Harri’s been lately. It’s not like her, and I don’t want her to do something stupid when she’s mad and regret it later. I know what it’s like to be ruled by your own anger and I don’t want that for her.”
“You have to let her be angry,” Cassandra sighed remorsefully. “She’s going to be angry for a while and yes she might do or say something she regrets, but you have to let her make those mistakes. If you try to make her push down her anger or control it right now it’d only make things worse.”
“Then what do I do?”
“Just be there for her. If she takes things too far, tell her that. Work through it, but don’t make it about her anger. She’s never been allowed to truly be angry at people before. She’s figuring out what that looks like. You’re going to have to stay patient with her during this time. Allow her to get it out of her system and show her how to deal with all those negative emotions she’s having right now in a healthy fashion. Even if she lashes out at you, you have to show her that’s not how someone should deal with their anger.”
“I’ve never been great at dealing with my own anger,” Sirius admitted sheepishly.
“Really?” Cassandra quipped playfully, “because here I thought sending your classmate to their death was how all functioning adults dealt with their anger.”
“I see what you're doing and it’s not going to work,” Sirius rolled his eyes at her. “We’re talking about Harri, not me.”
“Oh alright, spoil sport.”
“There is one other issue,” Sirius sighed, bringing them back on topic. “Harri’s stress over what’s happening to my counterpart.”
“I don’t think there's much you can do about that,” Cassandra shook her head sadly. “Harri’s still adjusting to the fact she has more than just you. You’re her lifeline right now. The key to her freedom from the Dursleys. The last bit of family she has in this world that cares about her. She’s going to worry. All you can do is keep reminding her the books aren’t our reality anymore and you're right here with her now. You’ll probably have to reassure her you aren’t going anywhere a million times before she believes you, but you’ll need to be consistent in your support of her and your words. She needs you more than ever now.”
ooOoo
Alastor Moody sat away from everyone as he pondered his counterpart's actions. While he agreed with most of the actions he had taken in the books, something still felt off. He knew what had happened to young Draco Malfoy did not fit with his personality. Sure he would have scared the little punk but he wouldn’t have gone that far. What was he missing? Why had he chosen to teach the child the Unforgivables? Why had Dumbledore agreed? While he knew it was better these children knew about life sooner than later why would those curses need to be taught now? Why not later in the year? Something wasn’t right and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He wondered if anyone else felt as if his counterpart was wrong in some way or it was just him. Did the others in this room feel as if their own counterparts were acting in ways they wouldn’t? He had too many questions and not enough answers.
ooOoo
Sirius felt refreshed after his stroll with Cassandra. While he still worried about Harri and her future he felt as if things were going to get better. He scanned the crowded room looking for Harri and spotted her oddly alone. It was a rather rare sight if he was being honest. Almost everywhere during these readings she had company. Either the Diggory boy or one of the Weasley children, hell he’d even seen her surrounded by Slytherins. It was honestly a little weird to see her alone. He had seen how people flocked to her throughout these readings and if she was alone right now it gave him a pretty good guess on how she was feeling.
“Hey kiddo,” he called out as he got near sliding into a chair uninvited.
Harri grunted at him in return. It wasn’t the welcome he was hoping for but he’d take it.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No,” Harri shook her head. “I’m finally feeling a little better and I don’t want to ruin it.”
Sirius tilted his head. He supposed their conversation could wait then. While he knew they needed to talk he wasn’t about to push her any further. These books had pushed her far enough. So instead he slid his chair back and opened his arms.
“You look like you could use a hug is all I’m saying,” he grinned, keeping his arms open in an invitation.
He watched as Harri eyed him almost cautiously as if his affection could be a trap and it broke his heart. He did his best to keep his expression open and light as she weighed the decision of accepting a hug from him. He was a little surprised when she had thrown herself into his arms seconds later but wrapped her in as tight of a hug as he could without hurting her.
“Whatever it is, it’ll be okay,” Sirius assured her as her own arms wrapped around his neck. “We’ll figure it out together whenever you're ready.”
“Promise?” Harri asked as she buried her head into his shoulder.
“Promise,” he relented as he pulled her fully into his lap. “Me and you against the world, remember?”
It must have been what she needed to hear at that moment because before he knew it words were tumbling out of her mouth a mile a minute. He listened patiently as she told him about how angry she had been lately and how everyone turning on her in this book made her feel. How she wasn’t sure if she should forgive any of them. She told him about how afraid she was that her counterpart was going to lose him and be left all alone again. How even though she knew it was all just a book she didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. She couldn’t live with it if he would have gotten hurt or caught on her behalf. Her worries about being a burden on the Weasleys and him deciding he didn’t want her after all. About Remus abandoning her if she let him in. Next, she told him about Fred Weasley and Cedric Diggory and while it made his blood boil he bit his tongue. She was too young for all of that, but he knew interrupting now would be a mistake. Sirius rubbed her back gently as she continued to tell him about every worry she had bottled up until this point.
When she had finished he just held her wishing he could just keep her safe like this until the end of time. There were several things he couldn’t help her with, but he was going to do his best and support her in whatever decisions she came to. He couldn’t imagine a world where anything she did would ever drive him away. It was the one worry he could tackle without a doubt in his mind so he started there.
“Sorry kiddo but you're stuck with me now. Your counterparts stuck with me too. So you’re just going to have to get used to the idea of having me around.”
ooOoo
Draco watched the Weasleys in disinterest. While Molly Weasley had left him with several confusing emotions he was still a Malfoy and above them. He still didn’t want to live with the poor blood traitors, but he also wasn't sure he wanted to go home anymore. How was he supposed to live with his mother knowing how easy it was for her to give him away? He wanted to make her pay for putting him through this. For allowing the circumstances that had made him think maybe one Weasley wasn’t completely useless.
“Then why not play her at her own game,” the Voice suggested, sounding as if it came from within his own skull.
Draco startled. He didn’t know the Voice could directly speak to them like this. He had only heard them speak from the sky. He didn’t like the idea of them in his head at all.
“Nobody likes me in their thoughts,” The Voice said unconcernedly. “But I don’t really care. If you all weren't so inept none of this would be necessary.”
“What do you want with me?” Draco demanded to know. The sooner they were out of his head the better.
“Just wanted to help,” the Voice sang and Draco could see how the Voice could get annoying quickly. He hoped this was the last time it ever personally spoke to him.
“That’s rather rude. And here I was going to give you ways to mess with your mother. But now I’ll just see myself out.”
“Wait,” Draco called out sincerely, hoping he wasn’t going to regret this. “What do you mean ways to mess with my mother?”
“How do you think your mother would feel if you abandoned the Malfoy pride and really rubbed elbows with the Weasleys? Do you think she ever really expected you to play nice? Isn’t this just some cruel punishment on her part for you not blindly following her command? Stick you with savages for a period of time so you know how far she’s willing to go to get her way and when she thinks you’ve suffered enough won’t you be oh so grateful she took you back and everything she can provide for you that you’ve currently been forced to live without? Face it you're being played and it’s working. The harder you fight against the deal she made with the Weasley’s the more she wins. She can now wash away all of your actions as you being nothing but a spoiled child who won’t listen to her. She can claim even the Weasley’s know how difficult you are. It wasn’t her fault you just wouldn’t learn.”
“But don’t all those excuses go away if you embrace the Weasley lifestyle? If you play her at her own game you can flip the script. You weren’t a bad son, she was a bad mother. Your actions were because you were never taught any better. Even if you don’t believe you’ve done anything wrong if you play your part right it doesn’t matter. It’d all be her fault and everything she’s done to get into Potter’s favor will crumble. You’ll ruin her.”
ooOoo
Dumbledore was lost in thought over the fact Harri had wanted to to torture Severus Snape with the Cruciatus curse. He hadn’t realized how close to snapping young Miss Potter was. He feared he had yet another Tom Riddle on his hands, for he had no doubt Harri was the kind of person people would follow. While Miss Potter had always shown a restraint not even he could claim to have as a child, Dumbledore knew how quickly someone could go down the wrong path. He needed to figure out if her thoughts were from her own desire to do harm or from something far darker. He could only hope they were from her own frustrations, that he could work with. There was still hope for Miss Potter. He would do everything in his power to stop her from making decisions she may not be able to undo. He did not wish to see Harri live a life of regret. He knew he wasn’t the best person to help her here, it would be rather hypocritical of him to offer his advice on this matter. But maybe she would listen to an old man ramble about his youth.
Dumbledore was pulled from his thoughts as his staff approached him all looking disgruntled. He could only assume it had to do with Severus’ behavior. Dumbledore knew he couldn’t continue to make excuses for the man, but he couldn’t sit by and let them all attack Severus' character without being the voice of reason to their grievances. None of them knew the whole story. None of them would ever know if it was up to Severus.
“Albus,” McGonagall greeted stiffly as she and the other teachers all took seats around him; he wasn’t surprised to see Severus absent.
“Minerva.”
“I suppose you’re aware of the topic we all wish to discuss?”
Dumbledore nodded, wishing he didn’t. He truly felt his age now. He wished for simpler times but knew he must endure. He had to. He had to make up for all the hurt he had caused in his youth.
“Severus' behavior was completely unacceptable,” Sprout said sternly, leaving no room for arguments. “On top of that I want you to see the children’s grades from lunch. With a gentler hand they’ve all excelled.”
Sprout slid a bundle of parchment towards him and he didn’t need to open a single one to believe her words. He knew in his heart she was right.
“We’ve already agreed that Severus will have his classes monitored for a period of time before he is allowed alone with the children. I have also already discussed his behavior with him. We all agreed to give him another chance as a teacher if he followed the guildless we made,” Dumbeldore reminded them.
“Yes, and we're not going back on our agreement,” Flitwick sighed, put off by how reluctant the headmaster seemed to be to actually punish Severus. “We only wish to add to the terms.”
Dumbledore leaned in intrigued to see what other restrictions his staff wished to put on Severus. If they were to outlandish he would have put his foot down. There might be something he may need Severus still for after they left this room.
“We want Severus to see a mind healer regularly if he’s going to continue to teach.”
Dumbledore pondered this. While he wanted his friend to get the help he needed there were several things Severus could not discuss with anyone. Though Dumbeldore doubted Severus would willinging bring them up to anyone, Dumbledore had to be certain. If that information got out it could ruin everything.
ooOoo
Draco mulled over what the Voice had said to him. He wasn’t positive he could pretend to be thrilled at the prospect of living with the Weasley’s but it might be worth it to play nice. The plan did have merits. He just didn't know where to begin. He could see Arthur and Molly Wealsy sitting together discussing whatever nonsense they deemed important and wondered if they could be the perfect candidates to start his little plan on. He didn't know anything about the two eldest Weasley children because they had left Hogwarts before he had begun. He'd rather gouge his eye out with a spoon then strike up a conversation with either Percy or Ron. Ginny hated his entire family, because she falsely believed his father had something to do with her possession. The twins were out of the question, he hadn't failed to notice the way they eyed him during the readings.
Molly and Arthur were going to have to do. Maybe he could use how eager they seemed to "help" him to his own advantage. What would he even talk to them about though? He doubted he had anything in common with the filthy little blood traitors. They were too poor and ill-mannered to know about any of the finer things he enjoyed. The last time they had really spoken to him they had wanted him to meet them in the middle. Maybe he could work with that. He didn't actually know much about either of them. He could demand they tell him more and then pretend to listen to them drone on. It would make it at least appear as if he was trying. It was a start.
With his mind made up Draco reluctantly rose from his seat and made his way over to them dragging his feet. This was going to be torturous to sit through but if it meant defying his mother he'd endure it. He hated the way they stared at him as he slowly closed the distance between them. He didn’t know what exactly they thought they could do for a Malfoy, but the fact they thought they could help him at all made his skin itch.
“I won’t live with complete strangers,” he stated as he sank into a chair staring at them both defiantly. “Don’t you think it’s shortsighed of both of you for not having bothered to tell me anything about yourselves?”
They blinked at him owlishly and he fought the urge to roll his eyes. Could they be any dimmer?
“Well? Aren’t you going to tell me about yourselves? Or am I just going to have to guess? Because I'm telling you right now I won’t step foot in your house until I know who I’m living with.”
They shared a look Draco had seen his own parents share before but never understood what it meant.
“Well, what would you like to know?”
Their question threw him. He didn’t actually want to know anything about them. What could he ask about? What would be the least mind numbing? What could endear them to him and keep them off his back?
“Tell me how you met,” he demanded after a couple of seconds of thought. Couples liked talking about that, right?
ooOoo
After her talk with Sirius, Harri felt lighter than she had all day. It had felt really good to let it all out even if she did feel a little bad for just dumping it all on Sirius the way she had. She had decided to spend time with Neville and Luna after that. She listened fondly as Luna talked about all the magical creatures she wanted to discover. Neither of them had asked how she felt or tried to pry into her life and it was refreshing. She pondered why it had taken her so long to meet Luna and actively hang out with Neville. While Luna was a little weird at times she was also really funny and sweet. Neville was actually pretty cool too after he had started to relax around her. She wondered if this is what the Voice had meant earlier.
“Hey Luna, why do you think you haven’t been mentioned yet? You hang out with Ginny a lot right?” Harri asked, sincerely wanting to know why Luna hadn’t been brought up in the books yet. How long was her counterpart going to have go without Luna’s friendship?
“Maybe you just don’t need me in your life yet,” Luna shrugged casually. “I’m sure our paths will cross when the time is right.”
Harri frowned at Luna in return. Luna’s words didn’t sit right with her.
“I want you in my life though. Doesn’t that count for something?”
Luna beamed at her and hummed, “I want you in my life too Harri. I rather like being your friend. Neville’s too.”
“Neville is a good friend to have,” Harri agreed, sending a teasing smile at a stammering Neville. “I hope we all get to be good friends in the books soon.”
“I’d like that.”
ooOoo
Fred and George were stumped as to what their counterparts were up to in the book. They hadn’t really been seen doing anything in the books other than showing off their joke products and betting at the World Cup. It was driving them mad not knowing what massive secret they were trying to hide.
“Do you think if we asked the Voice it’d tell us?”
“Maybe it’s worth a shot.”
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” the Voice snickered in their heads.
“Can’t you at least give us a hint?” George asked, looking up at the ceiling. It was weird talking to someone you couldn't see.
“I could,” the Voice chuckled unhelpfully.
“Will you?” Fred needled not enjoying the Voice having fun at their expense.
“I don’t think I will.”
“Oh come on!” They complained together.
“If you want to know, figure it out yourself” the voice sang cheerfully. “I’m only here to help Harri and you clearly aren’t her.”
ooOoo
Harri had allowed Hermione to pull her away from Neville and Luna sometime later. Currently she stood in a side room watching as Hermione worked herself up to whatever it was she wanted to say. Harri could tell whatever it was, it was important. Hermione wasn’t the type to censor herself or not just come out and say what she wanted. Seeing Hermione struggle to start a conversation was a little weird. Harri was so use to having Hermione just steamroll her with her opinions and knowledge while Harri tried to keep up with the word vomit. This was new.
“Would you be this upset if I was the one to not believe you instead of Ron?” Hermione finally asked.
Harri opened her mouth to say of course she’d be furrious if Hermione hadn’t believed her, but the words didn’t come out. That wasn’t what Hermione had asked her. While she knew she’d be upset at Hermione, not speaking to Hermione didn’t have the same impact as not speaking with Ron. When they had iced out Hermione during third year she hadn’t been nearly upset as how her counterpart was in the books now.
“I thought so,” Hermione whispered and Harri could hear the hurt behind her words.
“Its.. Ron’s…” Harri struggled to find the right words to make this better.
“You value Ron’s friendship more than mine and you always have,” Hermione stated hotly.
“I value you too,” Harri cried desperately. “It’s just different.”
“Why? We’ve been friends for almost as long. I’ve been by your side through all the horrible things that happen at Hogwarts. Why does Ron matter more?”
“Ron’s my best friend,” Harri tried to reason.
“I thought we were all best friends,” Hermione said in a small voice.
“We are! Ron just gets me. We have loads in common.”
“So Ron’s valued more because he likes the same things you do? Then why are you even friends with me?” Hermione sniffed.
“Because I like being around you!” Harri answered honestly. “It’s just sometimes it's a little hard to connect with you the way I do with Ron. All you do is study and I can’t study that much. And I’m not smart enough to be interested in the topics you are.”
“But can’t you try? I go to your Quidditch practices and games to support you when I don’t even like Quidditch! Couldn’t you have at least tried to find something we could do together?”
“Then what do you suggest we do? What’s something we both enjoy?”
“I don’t know,” Hermione huffed in annoyance. “But I don’t want to always come in second to Ron or feel as if I’m just a third wheel to you two!”
ooOoo
Severus opted to return to his room after the reading for the day was done. His ire at Potter rising. She was wasting all of their time because she couldn’t keep her emotions under control. The quicker they were done with these books the faster they could all leave. He for one would immensely enjoy having his mind be void of that infuriating Voice.
“Severus Snape doesn’t like me, whatever shall I do,” the Voice snarked and Snape was at least grateful it wasn’t directly in his mind this time. Not that he trusted the Voice enough to think it wasn’t reading his thoughts.
“Go away. Haven’t you tortured me enough? Or do you just enjoy kicking people without a way to defend themselves against you?”
“You’d know all about that wouldn’t you,” The Voice sneered back. “Why actually teach your students when you can use your position to torment them all instead, right?”
“You don’t know anything.”
“I know far more than you think,” The Voice rebuked. “Though honestly who would expect a man who can’t even be bothered with his appearance to care about the children’s education. For such a prideful man you sure lack it in every aspect.”
“Enough I don’t have to sit here and listen to you attack me.”
“You don’t,” the Voice agreed but they seemed far too amused for Severus' liking. “I suppose I could go tell Harri about the death of her mother. What or should I say who really caused it.”
“You leave Lily out of this,” Severus snarled, his temper skyrocketing.
“Oh that’s got your attention does it? You kill the woman you say you love then to atone for it you make her daughter's life a living hell. Because that makes sense. I bet Lily would just love to see how you torment her daughter. How you are nothing but a shell of your former self. You think she’d be happy to see someone she used to care about ambitionless and miserable? I think both you and I know Lily would despise the person you’ve become. Would hate that you use her as an excuse for your continued sulking and terrible behavior.”
“SHUT UP!”
“What’s wrong? Can’t handle the truth? Can’t control your emotions?”
ooOoo
After Harri’s conversation with Hermione, Harri had gotten an idea. There was something she could do with just Hermione she would never consider doing with Ron. It might also help her with a separate issue. After explaining to Hermione she wanted to have a girls night again but in Daphne's room she sent Hermione off to go invite Lavender and Parvati while she went to go talk to the Slytherins and then Luna.
Daphne and her sister were sitting with the other Slytherins so they were pretty easy to spot. While Harri wasn’t thrilled with the Slytherins behavior in the book, she knew a lot of that anger wasn’t fair as none of them knew her. She hadn’t tried to befriend a single Slytherin because of Draco and his friends. She didn’t think what they had done was right, but she wasn’t nearly as angry with them as she was with the others.
“Hey,” she greeted them softly feeling a little guilty when they all snapped their heads up to look at her as if waiting for her to yell at them all.
“Harri,” Blaise greeted after several awkward seconds. “What can we do for you?”
“I actually came over to speak with the girls,” Harri grinned sheepishly at him before adding, “Do you think you could give us a second?”
Harri watched as Blaise sent a warning look towards the Greengrass sisters before departing.
“Why’d you just want to speak to us?” Tracy asked skeptically.
“I was wondering if you’d be willing to host a girls night in your room tonight with me, Hermione, Luna, Lavender and Parvati.”
“No Weasley?” Astoria asked curiously.
“Ah.. no…” Harri's cheeks burned as she answered.
“But..” Astoria’s next question was cut off when Daphne leaned over to whisper in her ear.
“We’d love to,’’ Tracy answered, pulling Harri’s attention away from the sisters.
“Great,” Harri grinned at them. “Meet in your room in an hour?”
ooOoo
After relaying the meeting place and time to the other girls Harri went to go find Fred. She didn’t want to go to bed tonight without apologizing to him. She had found him relatively quickly. The twins had always stood out. She had done her best to try and convince him to go somewhere and speak with her but much to her dismay he had refused. He had claimed he and George needed to finish a project they were working on. Harri didn’t believe him, but didn’t push it when he had agreed to meet her later that night if she still wanted to talk then.
With nothing else to do she made her way to Daphne’s room to wait for the others. She was far too early but had a blast trying out snacks for the night with the Slytherins. She had stayed out of making the itinerary. Personally she didn’t think they needed one but then again she had only ever done one girls night that had just sort of happened. Tracy showed her how to play a card game while Daphne and Astoria argued over what activities they should do first. Overall it was a pretty fun hour.
Hermione was the first to show up exactly on time followed by Parvati and Lavender. Luna showed up last but looked excited to be there which Harri was counting as a win. Hermione hadn’t been thrilled at the idea of inviting Luna, but Luna was her friend and she had put her foot down. Harri honestly thought Hermione would really like Luna if she just gave her a chance.
“Where’s Ginny?” Luna asked, looking around the room as she took a seat next to Harri on the ground.
“She’s uh… not coming,” Harri told her, trying to dance around the subject hoping Luna would drop it.
“Is she not feeling well?” Luna questioned, looking concerned.
“She’s fine,” Harri assured her quickly. “I just didn’t think she’d err want to be here tonight so I didn’t uh.. Invite her.”
“Because you want to talk about the fact you fancy her brother, and you don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her feel as if she has to choose a side between two people she clearly cares about?” Luna asked next as if she hadn’t just short cericted Harri’s brain.
“I… That’s…” Harri stammered, flushing all the way down to her toes.
“Oh I like her,” Daphne laughed, bringing everyone’s attention to her and saving Harri from further embarrassment.
“You're actually going to talk about that? With us?” Hermione asked after her shock had worn off.
“Well who else am I supposed to talk to about it,” Harri grumbled. She had a plan! She was going to bring it up much later when she was ready. “It’s not something I can ever talk to Ron about.”
“Do go on,” Lavender cried in excitement. “Tell us everything!”
“I think Daphne and Astoria wanted to do nails and hair first tonight,” Harri quickly threw out trying to doge this line of conversation. She wasn’t mentally prepared yet! “I don’t want to hijack their plans.”
“We can start on your nails while you talk,” Daphne compromised much to Harri’s dismay.
Harri groaned in defeat and gave her hand to Daphne to start on her nails while she spoke. She told them everything that had happened between Fred and her. She told them about Cedric too. She told them all about how confused she was and how she desperately needed their advice because she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to hurt either boy but she didn’t see a way this ended without hurting one of them. How she had no idea how she was supposed to choose in the first place. How did she just decide who she liked most? Were there guidelines she was supposed to follow?
“So let me get this straight, you have two of the most popular boys at Hogwarts trying to win your affection and you see this as a problem” Tracy summarized, looking absolutely scandalized.
“I’ve never felt like this before,” Harri mumbled cheeks red. “Besides I still can’t believe they both like me. I never thought anyone would ever seriously like me… And now two boys way out of my league do and I’m freaking out.”
“Nobodys out of your league, you’re Harriet Potter,” Astoria snorted as she started putting a clear coat on Harri’s nails.
“But I’m just me,” Harri strongly protested. “I’m nothing special!”
“That’s a load of bull and we all know it,” Hermione swiftly rebuked her. “You’re the Seeker for Gryffindor and you're famous. And now they both know all the insanely heroic deeds you do simply because they’re the right thing to do. Not to mention, Harri you’re pretty, like really pretty. If you weren’t always so busy I’m sure even more boys would fancy you.”
“But I had help with all the things I did and I’m famous for something I didn't even do,” Harri weakly tried to defend her point. “Besides, I'm not even that pretty. Everyone here is way prettier than I am!”
“Nope,” Daphne cut in as she swatted Harri upside the head. “We're not doing that. The world already puts women down enough as it is, you don’t get to put yourself down.”
“That’s right,” Astoria nodded readily. “Besides if you actually made yourself up you’d easily be the prettiest girl in Hogwarts.”
“I don..”
“No,” Daphne swatted her again. “Let us give you a makeover. Your relatives never let you be a girl, let us show you how far a little effort can go. If you don’t like it you never have to do it again.”
“Alright, alright,” Harri gave in with a pout. “But none of this helps me choose who I’m supposed to like.”
“Why do you have to choose?” Luna inquired curiously. “Why can’t you just be with both of them if that’s what you want?”
“That’s not how it works!”
“Why not?”
Harri opened and closed her mouth. She didn’t have an answer, she just knew that’s not how it worked.
“Usually people practice monogamy,” Hermione answered for her. “It’s the social norm. While polyamory is a thing it’s frown upon by most and can be a rather confusing practice.”
“What?” Harri questioned, completely confused now. Hermione was using large words she didn’t know the meaning of and it wasn’t helping.
“Monogamy is a relationship with only one partner at a time where polyamory is more than one depending on what everyone in the relationship agrees too,” Hermione explained, looking rather pleased with herself. She always did enjoy sharing her knowledge.
“Oh,” was all Harri had to say in response. “That doesn’t exactly help either. I don’t know what I want or how to solve any of this and all you’ve done is add to the equation.”
“Why do you have to figure it out right now?” Astoria chirped as she blew on Harri’s nails. “You could always date them both and choose who you end up liking more. As long as you're honest with them both about it shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Or you could date one then the other to see which one you liked most, like a trial period,” Tracy shrugged from where she was doing Hermione’s nails.
“You also don’t have to date either boy if that’s what you want too,” Daphne threw out from where she worked on Harri’s toes.
“Why not let them both take you out on a practice date and see which one felt more natural,” Luna suggested cheerfully. “If you can’t choose after that, why choose at all?”
“I’ll think about it,” Harri sighed, still far more confused than when they had started this conversation. “Can we drop it now?”
After they all had agreed to leave Harri’s love life alone for the time being, the rest of the night was very enjoyable. True to their word they gave Harri a complete makeover. Harri had never seen herself look so feminine. It was strange at first, but it wasn’t something she was against. She didn’t see herself always wanting to look like this but it was definitely something she wanted to try again. For the first time ever Harri truly felt beautiful as she looked at herself in Daphne’s body size mirror. It was a feeling she could get used to. After they were done with Harri it was Hermione’s turn and despite the other girls' protest Harri could tell Hermione was excited. Harri personally couldn’t wait for Hermione to feel what she was feeling right now.
ooOoo
After everyone had gone to bed Harri snuck out of the room to meet Fred. If he stood her up she would understand. It would hurt, but she would deserve it after the way she had snapped at him. When she spotted him leaning against a wall not too far from the door she came out she let out a sigh of relief.
“Wasn’t sure you were going to show up,” she admitted softly as she reached him.
“I said I would.”
“I know,” Harri grimaced guiltily, “it’s just you didn’t seem like you wanted to talk to me earlier.”
“I told you I was busy,” he sighed as he offered her his hand. “And before you ask, you’ll see what we’re up to tomorrow morning. You won’t be able to miss it, promise.”
Harri hesitantly took his hand as she sent him a tentative smile. She allowed him to drag her onto their roof top and sat down next to him on the blanket that was provided without complaint.
“I’m sorry,” she expressed once they were both comfortable. “I shouldn’t have told you about the kiss the way I did.”
“Did you plan on telling me about it at all?”
“I was going to tell you,” she promised quickly, not wanting Fred to get the wrong idea. “I had no intention of hiding it from you.”
“And you're not sorry the kiss happened just how you told me?” Fred asked for clarification.
“I’m not sorry I kissed Cedric,” Harri confirmed, wincing at how that sounded. “I wanted to know if kissing him would feel different than kissing you. I thought it would help me know if I liked you or him.”
“And was it different? Did it help you come to a decision?”
Harri sighed, wanting to shrink into herself. It really wasn’t a question she wanted to answer, and Fred was being far too calm. All of this would have been easier if he was mad. She knew how to deal with anger.
“It was different but it wasn’t,” she finally managed to say, her voice so quiet he had to strain to hear her. “All it did was confuse me more.”
“Then what now?”
“I don’t know,” she groaned as she fell back, throwing an arm over her eyes. “I really don’t. I know I have some type of feelings for you that aren’t platonic, but I also know that there easily could be more between me and Cedric too. And I just really don’t know what to do about any of it. It’s all too much on top of everything else. I just can’t.”
“Hey,” she heard Fred said gently next to her as she felt his hand lightly pry her arm away from her face. “It’s going to be okay, Harri. I know I didn’t react well earlier, but I’m not mad anymore, promise.”
“It was just a lot to take in at the moment,” he continued when she didn’t say anything. “I know you don’t owe me anything. If I had known this was going to stress you out so much I wouldn’t have told you. My intention wasn’t to make your life harder.”
Harri shot up at his words as she shook her head frantically.
“I’m glad you told me. I just… I’ve never felt this way for anyone before and it’s all confusing. And now Cedric’s in the picture and I don’t want to hurt either of you. I’ve already hurt you.”
Fred tugged her into a hug as he spoke into her hair, “You haven’t hurt me. You surprised me and I reacted poorly. I knew Diggory fancied you, everyone did. The books make it hard to miss.”
“And that doesn’t upset you? You’re really fine with the fact I kissed him?”
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous,” he admitted as he pulled back to cup her face. “But honestly in the grand schemes of things, no it doesn’t. I have no intention of losing you to Diggory, and if by some chance I do; I already told you nothing you decide is going to change our friendship. I’m still going to be here for you. We’ll still be teammates, we’ll still hang out.”
“And what if I can’t choose?”
“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
Harri tugged Fred down to lay with her more than happy to stay in his arms. This had gone far better than she expected. She was still convinced she didn’t deserve either boy. They snuggled and spoke some more as the hours passed. She knew she was going to be exhausted tomorrow but she had needed this. Needed the way Fred could make her laugh until her stomach hurt. And by the time Fred walked her to her door if he leaned down and kissed her and she kissed him back well that was between her and Fred. She could figure out what it all meant later for right now she was just going to enjoy the way things were.