Fine
James walks away from Regulus, his entire body tingling and the broken pieces of his heart ecstatic just because he was able to hold Regulus again, just because Regulus looked at him again.
He is happy even though his heart is broken worse than before, because he’s sure that Regulus doesn’t and will probably never want him again.
The best thing that has happened to James after Regulus showed up is Sirius telling him that Regulus did not in fact have a secret rendezvous but was actually meeting up with Sirius as Sirius relentlessly tried to get him to come to their house.
James had to physically suppress his grin as his broken heart leapt up in joy hearing that he had not yet been replaced.
And then Regulus had woken up and James knew that maybe he didn’t have a new boyfriend but James would never have the honour of calling himself the boyfriend of Regulus Black.
This morning the only reason he even was sarcastic with Sirius was because Regulus was there and James wanted to see his reaction.
Needless to say, he was thrilled with the small adorable laugh that left Regulus’ lips and with the fact that even though Regulus might not want him, he was still able to make him laugh.
Even if James wasn’t enough for him, at least he could make him happy.
The other best thing that has happened was when Sirius came upstairs to James and just hugged him.
James had no idea how much he needed that until he got it.
James enters the kitchen and just as expected ¼th of the tarts are gone which should make him angry but it really doesn’t.
His mother looks up at him and he’s already dreading the talk he’s about to get.
James has purposefully not been alone in the same room with his mother since the night he dumped everything on him because he knows that she’ll just comfort him.
Because of course she would.
He’s his son, she’s under obligation to comfort him.
“James-” she begins before he cuts her off.
“Don’t Amma”
Her eyes scrunch around the edges and her eyebrows furrow together in concern, “but beta–”
“Amma please, it was late at night, I didn't mean for it all to come out, okay, it just did. And i'm sorry if i made you worried, i’ve kept it in for quite long i’ll keep it in for more, just– don’t fret over me. Do it over someone who deserves it more.” said James turning towards the fridge to pull out the bowl of whipped cream and then was about to move to the cupboard to get some piping bags when he felt a hand around his arm, stopping him.
He had not even fully turned around when he was pulled into the steady arms of his mother, it takes less than a second for his entire body to just go limp in her arms.
In his mother’s arms he feels secure, warm and as though no force in this world could ever touch him no matter how strong it may be.
James knew that she wasn’t going to let go, but James never let go first either. Who knows how much the other person may need it for?
Since James is the other person in this he reckons that he’s the one who gets to decide how long he needs it for.
James pulls away, he needs it for longer but he pulls away because he doesn’t want his mother to get more worried.
Luckily for him just as he pulls away the doorbell rings and before James knows it he’s running to the door like a little kid to open the door for his father whilst Sirius comes down the stairs – or the railing rather.
Fleamont Potter isn’t even in the house before both James and Sirius have embraced him, poor man doesn’t even stumble at this point.
James has been doing this since he could crawl and Sirius has been doing it after one year of staying with the Potters.
Fleamont lets out a chuckle mixed with a grunt, “James?” he asks, and James looks up at him, arms still wrapped around him.
“Did you make lemon tarts?” he asks in a very serious tone and the hair’s breadth that James was away from losing his shit just deteriorates.
“Baba, if you love my tarts more than me, I'm not letting you inside the house” he says, pulling himself and Sirius away from Fleamont and starting to close the door.
Before James can fully close the door, Fleamont steps inside and ruffles James’ hair, “i could never love an inanimate thing more than you, meri jaan, no matter how delicious it may be” he mumbles the last part but James does catch it.
Looking incredulously at his mother, “See! I’m worth more than the stupid tarts” he says, gesturing to hsi father, “even baba says so.”
“Of course you’re worth more than the tarts, we wouldn’t have tarts if we didn’t have you” says Sirius before running away.
“Oi, you little piece of shit!” yells James before taking off behind them.
James ran behind Sirius who decided to run into the first room they saw, which happens to be Regulus’.
Just as Sirius is about to close the door, James puts his foot in between and starts pushing with all his might to open the door.
“Reggie, come bloody help me!” Sirius yells.
Just as James is about to deliver the final push to fully open up his door, he catches sight of Regulus.
One look and he can see that Regulus’ has been crying, one look and he knows that he doesn’t want to deal with shit right now, one look and he knows that Regulus doesn’t want to deal with James right now.
Taking a deep breath, James removes his foot and lets the door close with a hard thud.
It’s fine, James tells himself.
It’s fine, James tells himself as he goes to his room.
It’s fine, James tells himself as he moves over to his bed and lays on it.
It’s fine, James tells himself as tears begin to fall out of his eyes.
Because in the end, it is fine, because James has to be fine.
And he will be even if Regulus stabs him.
'cause everytime you look at me i think im gonna die
and everytime you think of me, i think i'm gonna fly
but everytime you talk to me i think i'm gonna cry
~Nyx/Aiden