Never Wrong
Euphemia has seen James cry many many times, it’s just something that came with the job of being a mother.
But she has never seen her son cry like he was five minutes ago, curled up against a wall hugging himself, seeing him like that had made her heart break into miniscule pieces.
And then he had looked at her before moving into her arms, that look, it was so heart wrenching that Euphemia doesn’t believe she can find words to describe it.
Now James is sitting on the kitchen table, head bowed, shoulder slumped and it physically pains her to see him in such a state.
She pours the tea she had been brewing into two cups and sits across from him.
James looks up, for barely a moment just to mutter a small thankyou.
Effie knows that she has to ask him, and would rather do it sooner rather than later.
Truth be told she knew, she has known for years in fact. She knew ever since James came home for the summer break before his 5th year, she knew when Sirius stumbled through their floo and James asked about his brother, she knew when she saw a new chain around James’ neck which he fiddled with when he was thinking, she knew when a little snake sticker was added to the various different ones around his mirror. But most of all she knew when Regulus himself came through their floo network and the look on James’ was as though it was him in pain.
She knew when James stopped sleeping, she knew when James asked Sirius to go to sleep and held Regulus’ hand.
But the pain behind James’ eyes didn’t make sense until she heard Regulus talk.
“Which language do you fucking understand? I. Do. Not. Want. To. See. You.”
She had heard, and she had then seen the way James’ face had constricted in pain.
“You love him.” Euphemia states, more than asks.
In return James just nods before they float into silence again.
They sit silently for a handful of minutes before James looks up and clears his throat.
“Amma do you think i’m too much to handle?” The question takes Effie off-guard.
James is known for his confident personality, and unshakable presence, even though Euphemia knows that nobody is immune to thinking bad about themselves the question still manages to shake her.
“James, no, that’s not true” she says in a hoarse whisper, already feeling a lump form in her throat watching her son in pain.
James lets out a small dry chuckle, “but it must be, because why else would someone that i love more than myself leave me”
“James…” she begins, but ignoring her James continues and she lets him, she lets him take it all out.
“This year– this year i started to open up to him, you know, this year he saw me cry, this year i let inside my head, i let him see all that happens inside my brain and he said–” he stops for a second as a sob makes its way out of his body, “he said that it was okay, and that he loved me and that he– that he didn’t mind holding me once in a while as well, but then he showed me otherwise, he said stuff and showed me otherwise, Amma. don’t actions speak louder than words?” He speaks the last sentence looking right at her and Euphemia realises that if she thought she had seen James hurt, she had never truly seen him hurt.
“And you know what the worst part of all of this was, he told me that phrase, he said it and then he proved it.” Another chuckle falls out of his mouth, this one full of hurt, “he is never wrong, never” James whispers as he closes his eyes for a moment before getting up, he moves around the table to press a small kiss to her cheek.
“Thankyou, Amma, and sorry” and before Euphemia can reassure him that he doesn't have anything to be sorry for, he leaves.
⚝✩⚝
Regulus didn’t actually want James to leave, no.
What he actually wanted was for him to wrap his steady arms around Regulus and reassure him, to place his lips against Regulus’ and kiss him just as he always did.
But it hurt Regulus beyond repair to look at James and see his eyes full of such hurt, such hurt for Regulus, just because Regulus was hurting, James was too but Regulus knows that he doesn't deserve this, not one bit, not when he broke James in such a way.
He knows that the pain he caused James can’t and won’t just go away. He has known James for a long time and has been dating for more than two years so he knows that if he were to ask James to get back together he would, quicker than a heartbeat but there will always be a lingering doubt in his mind and heart and James will always be scared of the fact that maybe Regulus will leave again.
So Regulus hopes that they will be able to talk it all out, and that he will be given an opportunity to explain himself to James, and then they will be able to move past it, hopefully.
But for now he has his brother’s arms around him and that’s enough.
For now.