Regulus knows that everything happens for a reason, for science. Everything is related to science somehow, Earth is round and spins on an axis. How nature wilts away naturally, what goes through murderers’ head. The fact that the sun always rises again after setting, merely twelve hours after setting.
Just like how he sees James Potter, every morning, at 7:35 am on dot, emerging into the Great Hall with a smile on his face and settling down on his bench before meeting Regulus’ eyes from across the hall and giving him a small sweet smile, meant for Regulus and only Regulus, before being whisked away into a conversation with one of his friends.
Just like how throughout the day, James would sneak glances to Regulus whenever he could, how James would brush their hands or shoulders when they passed each other in the hallways. How James would hold Regulus close in a broom closet, just wanting his closeness, not caring about sex, snogging or talking.
Just like how every night, after Regulus has left the Great Hall, James would whisk him away into a broom cupboard or to the Astronomy tower and they would talk for hours about pointless things. James would always kiss Regulus on the cheek, then on the forehead before on the lips as a goodbye.
Regulus liked this, he liked how James had observed Regulus and took in what he saw and built a routine that was comfortable for both of them. He liked how James was always patiently waiting and how James would always remind Regulus that it’s ok.
“I would follow you to the ends of Earth if it meant being with you. I would drop everything just for you, Regulus.” James would whisper into Regulus’ ear as a reminder of his love for Regulus.
Until one day, James doesn’t appear at 7:35 am on the dot. Neither does Remus, who usually appears with James. Only Frank Longbottom comes down for breakfast that day, but Regulus notices that Longbottom was different from usual. Longbottom was acting strangely, avoiding everyone’s glances as he collected a plate full of food. Longbottom didn’t stop to talk to his girlfriend or her friends as he whisked past them.
Regulus noticed Professor McGonagall’s sympathetic glance on Longbottom as well. Panic bubbles in his chest, had something happened to James? Or worse? Regulus watches as Longbottom ignores Gryffindors' attempt to grab his attention; without thinking, Regulus scrambles from his place on the bench as Longbottom leaves the Great Hall. Regulus catches up with the blonde as he turns around the corner, into the direction of the hospital wing.
“Longbottom!” Regulus calls out to him, causing the said boy to turn around. “Whe– Where’s James?”
Regulus doesn’t miss the sympathetic look on Longbottom’s face before it turns into a hardened look.
“What’s it in for you?” Longbottom’s voice is sour.
For such a lovely bundle of goodness like Frank Longbottom, it surprises Regulus when he hears Longbottom’s words and his tone. But his surprise washes away when he realises, something has happened to James. Regulus begins to bite the inside of his cheek as his mind wanders to the possibility of what could’ve happened to James. Did he break his arm? Did he get a limb severed? Is he in a coma?
“You really care about him, don’t you?” Longbottom’s voice pulls Regulus out of his thoughts.
“Yeah…” Regulus trails off, unsure if he should tell James’ roommate what was happening between him and James.
“C’mon then.” Longbottom said and began to walk away, causing Regulus to jog before falling in with Longbottom’s footsteps.
Silence hung over them as they made their way towards the hospital wing, Regulus once again let his mind wander off, thinking about what on earth could’ve happened to his boyfriend.
He wasn’t expecting Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin to be in the first three beds, Regulus only knew that Remus was there because Longbottom had whispered his name through the closed curtain before entering.
Regulus noted that Remus was the only person who had his curtains closed, while he waited for Longbottom to emerge from Remus’ area, Regulus looked over at Severus. Regulus winced at the state of Severus, who was unconscious. Regulus noticed an abnormally large bandaid on Severus’ forehead first before noticing that his neck was bandaged along with his legs and torso.
Regulus shifted his eyes onto Pettigrew, who was unconscious just like Severus. Pettigrew had his left leg bandaged up from toe to his pelvic bone. James was nowhere to be seen, so was Sirius and Madame Pomfrey. Regulus could hear instinct sobbing from the very back of the hospital wing.
Longbottom finally appeared through the curtains, it parted just wide enough for Regulus to see Lupin. The only person who knew about him and James, frankly, Lupin looked like shit.
“Remus wants to talk to you. I’ll go and see if they’re ready for you to see him.” Longbottom said, gesturing to the end of the hospital wing, even though Regulus was unsure on the use of pronouns, he gave Longbottom a curt nod and Regulus practically ran through the curtains.
Only then, when he’s standing in front of Remus, Regulus realises how awful Remus looked. Remus had dark circles around his eyes, almost as if he hasn’t slept. The eyebags only seem darker because Remus was paler than usual, Regulus could find a new scar on his face. Just barely missing the corner of his lip and it ran down to his chin. The plate that Longbottom brought for Remus had been put aside.
“Before you…” Remus trailed off, struggling to find the right words. “Before you see James, I need to tell you something.”
Regulus nodded, unsure of what to say.
“I’m a werewolf.” Remus said, his eyes now glued to his hands which were fiddling with the red and green crochet blanket.
Regulus knew the blanket, oh, he knew it very well. James had learned how to crochet just for this gift and Regulus had watched him struggle before finally getting the loops right, Regulus could see the bright smile that James had on his face, clear as day. Regulus blinked out of his thoughts and looked at Remus.
“I know,” Regulus said and Remus looked up at him surprised.
Regulus gestured to the bed, silently asking Remus if he could sit there. Remus nodded and Regulus slowly moved towards the bed as Remus shuffled his legs to the side. When Remus had comfortably moved his legs, Regulus sat down on the bed, one leg bent at the knee, facing Remus.
“James was never available during the full moon, and you would look horrible during the full moon. Plus when I asked James if you were a werewolf, he just stared at me and that confirmed it for me.” Regulus explained, a small smile on his face at the memory.
Remus swallowed hard at the mention of James, he let out a small sigh before reaching out and held Regulus’ hands. “Don’t hate me… please.”
Regulus’ eyebrows knitted together at the strangeness of Remus’ words, he opened his mouth to ask Remus something when Longbottom peeked his head through the curtain and spoke instead.
“Regulus, c’mon.” He spoke, his voice gentle.
Longbottom retreated his head and lifted the curtain for Regulus to walk through. Regulus stood up slowly and patted Remus’ hands before speaking, “I could never hate you, you brought me and James together.”
With that he left the confines of the curtained area and followed Longbottom to the end of the hospital wing, Longbottom stopped before the curtains.
“I can’t go in, but, erm, be warned. It’s not a pretty sight…” Longbottom’s voice cracked for a moment before meeting Regulus’ eyes, Longbottom’s eyes were full of pity and sincerity. “I’m sorry.”
Regulus felt his heart drop, and he pursed his lips. Regulus was trying to think of the positive side of things, in a way that James would be proud of. But with Longbottom’s words, he was filled with unease. Regulus let out a small sigh before nodding to the blonde boy and pulled the curtain back.
Regulus first saw Euphemia and Fleamont Potter hunched over, hugging each other. It was obvious that the couple was crying, Regulus let his eyes wander over to where James laid on the bed. Now he wanted to put himself in Euphemia’s arms and cry with them.
James was lying there, his eyes half lidded, void of life. The brown-golden eyes that Regulus would stare into for hours were now just brown, having lost the sparkle and the warmth. James’ mouth was open, frozen in time, almost as if he had been speaking.
“Oh my god–” Regulus’ voice cracked as he saw James’ body.
Regulus had just looked away from his face and let his eyes travel down his body, James’ skin was pale– drained from life pale– and there was a big claw mark travelling from his neck and it resumed down his chest. It ended just above James’ abdomen, that wasn’t the only claw mark on James’ body as well. So many of them littered the older’s chest.
“Oh– James, no.” Regulus could hear how broken and desperate his tone was.
Muttering ‘no’s over and over as he made his way towards James’ bed, slowly and hesitantly. Regulus reached for James’ hand, only to reel back at the coldness of his hand. He tried again and this time he successfully clasped James’ hand, but he couldn’t shake off the coldness of James’ skin.
“No. You aren’t dead.” Regulus mumbled to no-one. “No, James… you aren’t meant to die, not yet.” Regulus insisted again, half expecting and half begging for James to wake up and yell ‘Haha! Get pranked!’.
Euphemia looked up and Regulus met her eyes over James’ body. Her eyes were filled with sadness and pity, god, Euphemia was grieving over her son and still had it in her to feel sorry. Euphemia stood up from her chair and made her way around the bed and pulled Regulus into a tight hug.
Only then, he bursts into tears. Euphemia’s hug is so different, but, at the sametime, it is so similar to James' hugs. They both hug with such tenderness and warmth, but Euphemia on one hand, the way she hugs is almost suffocating– yet comforting. Tight and soothing. James on the other hand, hugs Regulus like he’s the world, like James might accidentally break him in his arms. Gentle and trapping.
Regulus won’t get hugged by James again.
James won’t be kissing Regulus awake anymore.
They won’t be meeting at the library to study together.
There won’t be stolen glances from across the Great Hall.
The sun won’t be rising again.
It had set, infinitely.