Sirius
He stared at the tattoo on his chest. The moon was at its fullest form and it seemed to shine extra bright just to mock him.
It was the night Sirius dreaded the most and Remus was all alone. He was all alone, surrounded by Death Eaters and most likely being tortured.
Sirius shook his head to rid himself of the miserable voice that popped up, whispering dark and depressing thoughts. No, he would not go down that path. Remus was alive. He had to be.
Tomorrow, it would be a month since he had been taken and they had found nothing that could lead them to Remus.
Sirius tugged one of Remus’ jumpers over his head, covering the moon phases with a frown. He felt like he would burst at any moment. There was so much fear and anger inside him and he felt unable to out any of it.
He didn’t speak about it, knowing that if he did he would lose all the control he had left. And he needed to keep it together to find his Moony.
Because he was going to find him.
Moody had several people looking out for Remus, and Dumbledore had assured them he had spies on the other side doing the same but Sirius couldn’t just sit by and do nothing. He hated it. So he was going to take matters into his own hands. He was going to be the one to bring Remus back home, if it was the last thing he did.
His gaze moved through their bedroom, eyes landing on a picture of the four of them on their last day of school. Remus had his arm slung over James’ shoulder, a dopey grin on his face. His other hand was entangled in Sirius’ hair, who lay with his head in his lap and grinned up at something James was saying. Peter was laughing loudly, eyes fixed on the camera. He remembered Lily taking it. Peter was the only one who’d noticed she took it. It was one of his favourites.
“Sirius?” a voice called out, making Sirius snap his eyes away from Remus’ smiling face and to the bedroom door.
Peter poked his head inside. “There you are,” he said, opening the door further. “Prongs brought dinner, if you’re interested.”
Sirius nodded, eyes moving back to the picture. “I’ll be right there.”
Peter followed his gaze, a strange noise leaving his throat as he took in the picture. He let out a sigh. “We’ll find him, Padfoot.”
Sirius sent him a weak smile even though he just wanted to cry.
“C’mon, let’s eat before Prongs eats it all,” Peter said, eyes soft as he led Sirius out to the living room.
His eyes stayed on Remus’ face until the door closed and he forced himself to put a smile on his face.
James was placing containers of food on the table while Lily brought out plates and glasses. He looked up when Peter and Sirius entered the room, a sheepish grin on his face. “Mum sends her love,” he explained, eyes moving over the severe amount of Indian food on the table.
This time, the smile on his face felt somewhat genuine. Sirius’ heart bloomed at the mention of Euphemia doing all this for him.
“What are you all doing here?” Sirius asked as Lily placed a bottle of wine on the table.
“We’re worried about you, Sirius,” she answered, green eyes soft as she looked at him. “And we know what tonight is. We’re not leaving you alone.”
He let himself be pulled into a hug, her arms wrapping around him. He let himself be comforted by her love, and a sob escaped his lips.
“Thank you,” he whispered, tightening his arms around her.
*
Euphemia Potter’s food was something that could always make Sirius feel better. And tonight was no exception. While his chest still ached and he still felt like a part of him was missing, he was able to laugh again.
James and Peter did everything to distract him and it worked. He felt lighter, like he could put his worries for Remus aside to focus on the whole picture.
But he couldn’t ignore the feeling that something was missing. And he knew the others couldn’t either. It hung over them like a dark cloud. They had fun, but the fun wasn’t like it used to be. It wouldn’t be until the Marauders were complete again.
“I’ll be right back,” he mumbled, getting up from where he was sprawled back on the couch. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and his wand and slipped out of the apartment before anyone could respond.
He took the stairs two at a time and was out the door in seconds. The crisp November air hit his face and he let out a breath, watching it puff out in front of him.
He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it with a snap of his fingers, immediately relaxing.
The moon shone brightly in the sky and Sirius kept his eyes on it, ignoring the ache within his bones. He couldn’t imagine what Remus must be going through.
He leaned back against the building, head resting against the stones as he stared at the thing he both loved and hated. There were so many things he wanted to do, but none of them would help him get Remus back. And he hated feeling helpless.