the confrontation
Regulus knew what he was going to do the minute he stepped on the train in early September.
“Come here.” He said roughly to Remus, who had just reunited with Sirius, Peter and James in an explosion of laughter and shouts. Remus turned to him, confused.
“Me?”
“Yes.” Regulus said shortly. The sight of the tall blond boy sent rage shivering through his body. He hoped he was wrong, because if Remus had actually done what he thought he had…
“Follow me. I need to talk to you.” Regulus told Remus, striding into an empty compartment without waiting for the blond boy’s reaction. He didn't miss the confused looks the four boys exchanged behind him.
“Reg--” started Sirius, but Regulus ignored him. Students were streaming in around them, some scared looking first years with tear tracks hastily wiped from their faces, and older students who looked relieved to be rid of their parents at last. Regulus heard the train doors lock shut with a satisfying hiss, knowing that Remus couldn’t leave now. Remus didn't seem inclined to run, though, and looked rather bewildered as he followed Regulus into the compartment. Regulus closed the door with a wave of his wand.
“Did you poison my brother?” Regulus began. He didn't dance around the question, not wanting to give Lupin time to think of an excuse. A myriad of emotions that Regulus couldn't read passed over his face, yet he didn't look guilty, or scared. Confused, more like.
“What?”
“Sirius.” Regulus said, drawing his wand and pointing it directly at Remus’s chest. The blond boy froze. Regulus could feel his pulse beating erratically, thumping loudly in his ears. He struggled to maintain his composure, strangling the hot fury growing inside him. He had to control himself, get Lupin exactly where he wanted. “Did you poison him and try to kill him last April?”
Remus stared at Regulus with wide eyes. Regulus tightened his grip on his wand, feeling the wood slip in his slick sweat. The two boys stood frozen for a few seconds, watching each other intently. Remus eyed the wand in Regulus’s hand nervously.
“No.” he said finally, appearing to think through each word as he spoke. “I did not poison Sirius. I didn't do anything to him.”
“I don't believe you.” Regulus said quickly. He could have cursed himself. He had to remain calm, smooth and in control. That was how the suspects talked--when they thought they had no other choice. Regulus imagined Sherlock standing before him, holding a silvery gun in the place of his wand and with a clever glint in his eye.
“Why do you think I did?” Remus asked. His expression wasn't scared, despite the wand pointed at his chest. His caramel eyes glittered with curiosity. “Do you think someone else did?”
Regulus didn’t answer.
“I don't know what you’re talking abou--”
“Don't lie to me” Regulus snapped. “I'll know. Someone poisoned Sirius and you were making a potion the day he collapsed. I saw you try to hide it from me--what were you doing in that classroom?”
“A poti--oh”
Finally, a look of genuine fear flashed over Remus’s face as he cut off his words quickly. His throat bobbed, eyes darting towards the door and where his friends were waiting beyond.
“Extra classwork.” he answered shortly. Regulus couldn't miss the tremor in his voice, although he tried to hide it.
“Don't lie.” Regulus said again, the loudness of his own voice surprising him. A strong urge to shove Remus against the wall and force an answer out of him swept through him. “What were you making?”
“Leave me alone, Regulus.” Remus said bitingly. “I didn't curse Sirius. Stay out of my business.” but despite his effort he didn't look too intimidating, cornered with a wand pointed at his heart.
“Like hell I will.” Regulus strode forward and stuck his wand directly beneath Remus’s chin. Remus’s hand, which had been reaching for his own wand, stilled.
“Tell me the truth. What were you trying to make?”
Panic swam undeniably behind Remus’s eyes, and the blond boy’s face was a shade paler than normal, his freckles and strange scars standing out more starkly than ever. He pressed against the wall, putting as much space between him and Regulus as possible.
“I-”
“What’re you doing Reg?” a voice said behind him. Regulus didn't turn.
“Go away, James,” he said. “I'm dealing with Lupin”
“Dealing with--what?”
“Hes a fucking traitor that tried to kill my brother, that's what it is.”
“Remus? I'm sure he--”
“Don't come nearer, James” Regulus said warningly, sensing James walking towards him. “I'll curse him, don't think I won't,”
“I know you will.” James said quietly. “What are you doing, though?”
“I'm getting him to confess, so I feel justified in beating the shit out of him later.”
“Look, Reg. Whatever you think happened, I'm pretty sure it didn't--”
“Ask him!” Regulus said shrilly. He suddenly felt too hot, too close to Remus and trapped between the two boys. The door was frighteningly small and far away, and Regulus for the first time wondered if this was such a good idea. “Ask Remus what he was doing the day Sirius got hurt, what he was looking at in that book!”
“What book?” Remus asked, his throat vibrating against the tip of Regulus’s wand.
“Advanced Healing Potions. Vitality counter-potion. You left your book open in the library. Why would you be reading that? I saw you write down nearly half the page.”
“Vitality…what?”
“I know you know it is.”
“Regulus.” Remus said, his eyes widening. “What page was it on?”
Regulus thought for a moment. He remembered the title, and the page number was something he recognized, some familiar number that at the time he had found funny in his head. It was a heavy book, and the page was well into the six hundreds…
“625” Regulus said, remembering now the small printed number. It was his birthday, 6/25. Remus stilled, and behind him Regulus felt James let out a gasp of surprise.
“I know what happened.” Remus said, a look of comprehension washing over him. His eyes didn't lose their fearful look, though. If anything he looked more afraid than ever.
“What?” Regulus asked, shoving his wand into Remus’s throat slightly more. “Tell me.”
“James-” Remus said, his eyes looking past Regulus pleadingly. Regulus felt a warm hand settle on his shoulder.
“Get off me.” Regulus snapped, shoving the hand away. “He tried to kill my brother, you should be helping.”
“He didn't, Regulus” James said placatingly, stepping back. Regulus felt as if he could breathe again. “I know he didn't.”
“Then explain everything! Someone did, why is everyone pretending they don't care? If I'm the only damn person who smart enough to figure it out that’s not my problem”
“You are very smart, unfortunately.” James said with a slight chuckle. Despite the situation, Regulus’s heart skipped. “But this time you’re wrong, I promise you.”
Regulus didn't understand; those words meant nothing. Promises were made and broken every day.
“I don't care.” he sneered. “Someone needs to pay.”
“Not Remus. You're better than this Regulus”
Regulus shook his head.
“I'm not,” he said in a strangled voice, squeezing his eyes shut. “I'm really not. I'll kill him, I will”
There was a horrible silence behind him; Regulus could hear James’s breath quietly in his ear. Remus was backed even further against the wall, his back digging what looked painfully into the wood. Good. Remus’s eyes were fearful, pupils dilated and pinned on Regulus and the wand in his hand. Regulus realized with a start that the fear in Remus’s eyes wasn't for whatever he was keeping a secret anymore. Remus was afraid of him.
Regulus felt the tip of his wand drop slightly.
“James?” he whispered, wishing he could take the words back. He wouldn't, though, because he knew they were true. The painful silence growing around him was worse than screaming, worse than curses. James felt like a sun hurtling farther and farther away from him, propelled by the force of Regulus’s own cruel heart. He wished suddenly, more than anything, that he was anybody else but himself.
“James I’m sorry”
Remus let out a satirical laugh.
“No you aren't” he spat. “You could kill me and sleep tonight without a bad dream”
A surge of anger rushed through Regulus, and a spark exploded from the tip of his wand, burning into Remus’s skin. Remus let out a yelp of pain. A ring of angry red flesh where Regulus’s wand still dug into his flesh, and Regulus could see the tears of pain Remus was struggling to hold back.
“What the fuck?” James said fiercely, finally speaking. “Regulus, stop this. I'll help you figure out whatever happened to Sirius, but if you hurt Remus…”
“I'll hurt him if I want to. Tell me what you were making that day and I’ll leave you alone--on my word”
“Your word doesn't mean shit” Remus hissed. Regulus rolled his eyes coldly.
“Wrong. A Black’s word is the only thing you can trust about them.” Regulus had learned from a young age that the word of a noble family was more valuable than gold, and was worth your life to uphold. He did not give it out trivially--it was about the closest thing he had to promises. The honor of the Black family now rested on the words just uttered from his lips.
“Tell me what happened.”
“I can't,” Remus said, eyes reaching over Regulus to James pleadingly. “I really can't. Just piss off-”
“Okay, then-”
“Regulus, no!” James cried. Regulus froze his lips mid incantation. “You need to trust me on this one, please. Why would I lie to you?”
Regulus risked a look behind him, and saw James watching him desperately, one hand extended as if to stop him but hovering just above his arm, too scared to touch. As if Regulus would whip and bite him--maybe he would. Despite the fear pounding through his veins, Regulus was struck for a moment by how perfect James looked standing in the compartment, glowing too brightly for the dusty world around him. His lips were parted and his eyes focused on Regulus, only on Regulus. Regulus felt his determination waiver.
“Everyone lies to me”
“I never have. I promise you, I haven't and never will. Please leave Remus alone, Reg. I know what he was making and I promise you the sky and everything in it that it wasn't to hurt Sirius. I can't tell you--” he added, seeing Regulus’s forming question. “You have to trust me, please.”
Regulus paused, wanting so badly to drop his wand and walk away. His hand tightened on the wood; he licked his lips nervously. Could he trust James? He thought of how James had sat by his side while the Quidditch world cup roared on outside the window--the sacrifice never mentioned and yet enormous. He remembered how James had clapped for him the first day of Hogwarts--he had been the only one. He remembered how he had never shown up to a French lesson late--he was the reason Regulus decided to join the Quidditch team.
Putting his full trust in another person, that was something Regulus had never done before. He didn't know if he could. But then again, this wasn't really about him. It was about Remus, and Sirius. The two people that Regulus knew James cared about more than anything, and James could care so much it was astounding. Regulus so often marveled at how his heart had so much space. Even if Regulus couldn't trust James to be on his side, he knew as certainly as he knew that the sun rose every dawn lit morning that James would do anything for Remus and Sirius. He would never do anything to hurt them, not even by accident and not even because he couldn't stop himself and his own dark nature. Regulus realized he trusted James to look after Sirius more than he trusted himself, knew that the Gryffindor boy wasn't plagued by darkness and cold like Regulus was, and wasn't in danger of hurting those he loved because he was hurting himself. James could do more for his brother than Regulus ever could.
It was because of that knowledge, that James Potter would till the end of time protect his friends, that Regulus slowly lowered his wand with an exhale, stowing it back into his robes. Remus slid down the wall, shaking slightly and clutching his burnt neck.
“You okay?” Regulus asked gruffly. Remus nodded faintly, looking shocked. “I mean I bloody guess so, you nearly killed me, after all”
“Eh, you would’ve been fine”
“Here” James said, walking past Regulus and crouching down next to Remus. He placed the tip of his wand gently on Remus’s burn and whispered something. The wound was filled with golden light for a moment, and then the light faded and Remus’s skin was as smooth and unbroken as before, only the faintest white ring as a memory of the burn. Remus smiled in wonder.
“Where'd you learn that?”
“Madam Pomfrey,” James said with a grin. “Comes in handy to know a few healing spells when you’re a natural rogue like me.”
“You’re gonna need a healing spell to deflate that head of yours” Remus muttered. James laughed. Regulus smiled faintly, watching the two friends uncomfortably.
“Thanks, Reg.” James said, turning back to where Regulus was standing. “Really.”
Regulus held his hazel gaze in his, heart fluttering slightly, although he didn't know why. James Potter was really fucking attractive, wasn't he. Regulus knew it was an inappropriate thought for the moment, but he couldn't help but think that whatever girl James decided to date would be pretty damn lucky.
What is wrong with you, Reg? He thought wildly. Get it together.
But for some reason the corners of his mouth were twitching up, and the tension between him and James broke like crashing waves as they both let out a relieved laugh. James’s hair was standing on end more than ever, his glasses askew; Regulus had to hold his hand down to resist the urge to fix them.
“I'm gonna-go” he said, backing out of the compartment. “But I'm still going to find whoever did it, I really will.”
“I know you will,” James said, grinning.
“I'll help you, if you want” Remus broke in, looking at Regulus cautiously but holding out the offer as a bid for peace. Regulus paused for a moment, considering it.
“I suppose if you want to” he said haughtily, feeling his posture stiffen. Remus and James chuckled.
“More like Sirius than you know,” Remus remarked. Regulus didn't reply to that, but slipped out of the compartment door, off to find Pandora and tell her everything that just happened.