Chapter 24
Sirius didn’t wake up the next morning, nor the next. His chest kept rising and falling gently, his heart beating persistently against his fragile chest in a way that Regulus found so beautiful. His eyes, however, remained shut. His hands were limp and cold and his skin remained deathly pale. Each morning Madam Pomfrey would try various charms and spells on his motionless body, rubbing salves and lighting incense and seemingly trying everything she could think of, but Sirius did not wake up. Regulus watched the healing witch spend hours poring over texts with healing potions, spells, and everything in between. Her eyes had dark shadows beneath them, her face growing weary and gaunt as days passed and nothing seemed to work. Regulus didn't move from Sirius’s side. Nameless people brought him water and meals, most of the time he didn't eat them. He didn't sleep, or at least never remembered dozing off. The days blended together, Regulus never moving from the chair he had brought to the side of Sirius’s bed. Sometimes he would plead with his brother, begging him to wake up. Sometimes he would tell stories he made up in his head, about everything and nothing. Often, he would sit in silence for hours, watching his brother’s peaceful face and feeling nothing at all.
Once, Pandora had come to the hospital wing and knelt by him, whispering gently into his ear and tugging on his arm. Regulus hadn't said anything, her words meant nothing to his exhausted brain. He refused to move, staring blankly at Pandora with empty eyes, and eventually she left. Others came and went, but eventually they learned to leave Regulus alone, to let him sit silently with his brother. All, except James.
The Gryffindor boy hardly left the hospital wing, sleeping on a small cot next to Regulus each night and visiting between each class. He would sit next to Regulus and talk, even though Regulus never responded, talking about his day and his classes and the world outside. Each night at dinner time he would bring two plates, one for him and one for Regulus, and they would eat together in comfortable silence. It was only then that Regulus managed to force food into his weak body, with James sitting steadily next to him. Remus too, visited constantly, looking angry and scared and snapping at anyone who so much as spoke to him. He and James would talk in hushed tones while gazing at Sirius’s limp body. Sometimes they would cry. Regulus ignored them, slipping into a haze until he wasn't sure whether they were there or not, and the only thing he could see was Sirius. The small, blond boy that Regulus faintly recognized came once or twice, but looked rather frightened at the sight of Sirius and the hospital wing, and left with a flurry of excuses and stuttering.
A week passed before Regulus moved from his chair. He had begun to slip into a delirium, his body slowly failing and growing bony and weak to the touch. He fought to stay awake, terrified that if he dozed off for a moment he would wake up and his brother would be gone. Madam Pomfrey had told him gently a few days ago that he should be prepared if Sirius were to pass away suddenly--even her healing magic couldn't do everything. Regulus had let a pleasant buzz fill his ears until she stopped talking. If one day he looked down to see Sirius’s chest finally slowing to a stop, some part of Regulus understood that his heart would simply stop beating as well. There was no point in thinking about it then. He knew faintly that he had missed all his classes, yet felt no desire to change that. Classes were meaningless to him if Sirius was gone. Regulus would have been content to sit curled in his chair forever and let himself waste away with his brother, two twin skeletons in comfortable silence. Pandora, however, forced him outside one Wednesday morning.
“C’mon, Reg.” she said commandingly. She grabbed a hold of one of his arms and yanked him upright. Regulus started, he hadn't even noticed she was there. The room tilted before him, black spots rushing to his vision, and he nearly fell into Pandora’s arms.
“What’re you doing?” he asked hoarsely, his voice rough with disuse.
“Making you move from this place.” she said. “I know you’re worried about Sirius, but I can’t watch you wither away any longer. This place is killing you slowly. Hospital wings are supposed to heal people, you know.”
“I'm fine.” mumbled Regulus, trying to sit back down. He didn't want to leave Sirius’s side for too long, terrified he would look down and find his brother dead.
“No,” Pandora said stubbornly. “You’re not.”
Regulus turned to look at her. He had never once seen his friend so adamant, or so emotional. Pandora’s usually serene expression was now torn with worry. Regulus felt a pang of guilt for the stress he knew he was putting her through.
“I'm sorry, Pandora. I can't leave.”
Pandora stopped, sighing at him.
“Madam Pomfrey!” she called. Madam Pomfrey poked her head up from where she was tending to another patient at the other end of the wing.
“Yes dear?”
“Do you think Sir--the patient in this bed will be fine for another hour or two?”
“Oh yes. I just have him some stabilization potions and nutrients, I’m certain no harm will come to him in the next few hours.”
“Good enough?” Pandora said to Regulus pointedly. “He will be fine, I promise you. You need to worry about yourself. Come on.”
Regulus wanted to protest more, but Pandora didn't give him much of a choice. She grabbed his arm again and dragged him out, ignoring the way he stumbled wearily behind her. Regulus twisted around, giving Sirius’s motionless body one more worried glance. Fear was already coursing through him, mixed with anger at Pandora. She couldn't just take him away, he could stay there if he wanted. It was his decision, even if she thought it wasn't good for him. He tried turning around, wrenching his arm away from her vise-like grasp, but he found he was so weak he might as well have been separating a tree from its trunk. Despite everything, he chuckled to himself at the irony. The laughter was rough against this throat and painful, and Regulus immediately felt guilty for laughing while his brother was dying behind him. He considered going limp and collapsing on the floor until Pandora finally gave up, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to stand back up. He wanted to maintain what little dignity he still had. Pandora didn't stop, dragging him through the doorway and out a staircase slightly concealed behind a portrait of a serious-looking witch. Sunlight stung his eyes when they walked out. Regulus cried out, temporarily blind. The dimness of the hospital wing had made his eyes as weak and sensitive as a baby’s.
“You’re fine.” Pandora said. Her voice was firm and encouraging, but Regulus could detect the worry lancing her words. “Let's go sit by the tree.”
Regulus mumbled in agreement, allowing himself to be guided over to the elm and sit down. His whole body was trembling, and he kept sneaking glances at the hospital wing, wondering if Sirius was still okay.
“He's fine.” Pandora said, reading his look. “Take a deep breath in. How are you?”
Regulus glared at her out of the corner of his eye.
“Wonderful.” he rasped flatly. Pandora giggled.
“At least you can still make jokes.”
Siriuscan't. Regulus thought. The momentary feeling of lightness immediately passed, the heavy blanket settling back over Regulus.
“Do you know what today is?” Pandora asked. Regulus shook his head. His mind felt foggy and tired, and he didn't have the energy to swim through his memory to find out.
“It's the Quidditch House Cup.”
“Oh.”
What once would have filled Regulus with nerves and excitement now filled him with nothing at all.
“I assume you aren't going…”
Regulus shook his head. “I can't play,” he said simply. The idea of leaving Sirius’s side for that long made his stomach sick. Besides, he could barely stand, much less fly on a broom.
“Slytherin got a replacement seeker for this game,” Pandora said quietly. Regulus found he didn't care. “Lestrange was pretty angry, he was going to make a whole to-do about it, maybe even kick you off the team.”
“Ok”
“But James apparently went and talked to him.”
That got Regulus’s interest.
“James went and talked to Lestrange?” he turned towards Pandora so fast he felt his back crack.
“Yup.” she said, eyes glittering. “He went up to the Slytherin common rooms and all. Explained everything with Sirius, basically told Lestrange not to be an ass.”
“I bet that went well.”
“It went how you would imagine. Apparently there were some threats, James drew his wand, and Lestrange agreed not to kick you off the team only if James made the coming match fair by not playing in it.”
Pandora paused dramatically. Regulus wanted to strangle her if his hands were strong enough. He half expected her to tell him that he was off the team, James’s entire life was Quidditch. He had been looking forward to this cup for nearly a year, and he talked about it non-stop. Regulus couldn't count the number of times he had broken off whatever French phrase he was constructing to wonder something about brackets or points assigned per match. A faint smile flitted across his face at the memory. The days spent lazily before this seemed like a distant dream now, lavender tinted and surreal.
“He’s going to come by at around three.” Pandora said. She was watching Regulus with a curious expression on her face. Regulus racked his memory.
“Three? But that's half an hour into the game…no, he didn't.”
“Yes.” Pandora said. “He's not playing.”
Regulus stared at her, stunned. “For me?”
“I guess so, he really cares about you, you know.”
“Yeah, because of Sirius.” Regulus said, averting his eyes. He felt his cheeks warm. Pandora’s words slid over him like honey. He cares about you.
“No, more than that. He’s been really worried about you recently, so have I.”
Regulus decided not to ask her what she meant by ‘more than that’. He didn't want her thinking he cared too much, and a sudden wave of guilt was dampening the joy he had just felt. An image of James watching the Quidditch match forlornly while Regulus slept comatose in his chair next to him flashed before his eyes. James deserved better than that, Regulus thought.
Pandora displayed again her uncanny ability to know exactly what was on Regulus’s mind.
“Don't feel bad.” she said, putting a hand on his knee. “You did nothing wrong. Just go back there and remember, people are on your side.”
Regulus nodded, immensely grateful for his friend. He glanced up at the hospital wing, where he saw through the window a skinny figure walk into the room. Even from afar Regulus recognized James. James paused beside the empty chair Regulus usually sat in, picking up his blanket and putting it back down again. Regulus was too far away to see his face, but he could detect the surprise in his movement. James turned towards the bed, looking at Sirius with bowed shoulders. He slid his fingers through his hair, burying his face in his hands and for a moment looking painfully young. Regulus wanted to reach up through the glass and give the lost looking boy a hug. A fierce wave of protectiveness crept over him; he wanted to take whatever was making James feel that way and make sure it never went near him again. Some of that although, he knew was him. Sadness weighed on him again, even the bright sunlight unable to chase off the gloom pulling at his soul.
He talked to Lestrange.
“I need to go inside.” Regulus said abruptly. He tried to stand up and promptly fell over, tumbling into Pandora. Pandora pushed him upright, a knowing smile on her face.
“You should.” she said softly. Regulus forced himself to take a few, shaky steps by himself, the blood rushing back into his sore limbs.
“Thanks, for bringing me out here.”
“Of course, Reg.” she said, standing up as well. She offered him her arm. He almost refused it, looking at her kind eyes and feeling the darkness roiling inside of him. Yet the door seemed so far away and the bright lawn was already tilting slightly. He took her arm, trying his best to look like a gentleman and not a cripple, and the two of them walked together back to the hospital wing.
The next day, Regulus awoke to Madam Pomfrey talking to James animatedly. The two often quietly discussed Sirius, and likely Regulus as well, but their expressions had always been drawn and worried. Now, James’s tired face was lit up for the first time in days. He kept glancing at Regulus, as if he was resisting the urge to tell him something. Regulus was curled up in his chair, wrapped in a thick blanket that did nothing to stop the chills racking his body. The room was swaying slightly before him, and when he shifted a little to hear what James and Madam Pomfrey were talking about more clearly, black spots danced before his eyes. He blinked, willing his body to hold on a little longer. He hadn't said anything to James yesterday when he returned, despite Pandora's urgings. James had sat his usual vigil overnight, and had returned that morning, the shadows under his eyes darker than ever. Regulus had overheard whispers of the Quidditch House Cup from other hospital wing inhabitants, and whenever he thought about James sitting next to Sirius while his team played the match, he wanted to cry. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind, curiosity pricking at him instead. What could make James look so excited? It was difficult, pushing himself up into a sitting position. He gripped the arms of his chair tightly, waiting for the room to stop rocking before forcing his parched throat to speak.
“What's going on?” he asked. His voice was nearly unrecognizable, thin and raspy from disuse. James and Madam Pomfrey both looked at him in surprise.
“Regulus!” Madam Pomfrey said in a soft voice. “I didn't know you were awake. How are you feeling?”
“Do you want anything?” James asked hurriedly, grabbing a bar of chocolate for the counter behind him and holding it out to Regulus. “Chocolate?”
“No.” said Regulus faintly, struggling to focus on the two people in front of him. “I just want to know what's going on. Have you figured out what's wrong with him?”
“Actually,” Madam Pomfrey said, her lined face looking almost happy. “I think we might have a good idea.”
“And?” prompted Regulus. He struggled to sit up even more, casting his blanket to the floor. He felt more alive than he had in days, finally faced with something that might mean he wouldn't lose his brother. Absent-mindedly, he took the chocolate form where James had set it down next to him and stuffed some in his mouth, finding he was famished. James grinned at him.
“It’ll take too long to explain now, but we think he may have been cursed, essentially. If it is what we think it is, then there are ways, although they are difficult, to cure Sirius.”
“and we will.” Madam Pomfrey added. “Hogwarts will stop at no end to save the life of a student.”
Regulus didn't say anything, looking back and forth between Madam Pomfrey and James blearily. His tired brain struggled to place the pieces together, but if what he thought they were saying was true…
“How sure are you that it is what you think it is?” He croaked.
“Pretty sure.” James replied. “I've been studying for days, looking at absolutely everything. Sirius’s condition, his symptoms, everything, screams a dark curse.”
“and Dark Curses always have a counter-spell.” Madam Pomfrey said kindly. “It may be difficult to find, but now that we know what it is, I can stabilize him until we find the counter-spell. I think your brother will be okay.”
Regulus didn't notice he was smiling until he felt his cracked lips sting, not used to the expression. Blood beaded on his lips and tasted like salt in his mouth, but Regulus didn't care. It was as if the sun had finally broken out from behind a cloud, that the world had released the breath it had been holding.
This brother would be okay.
“Sirius won't die?” he said, his head nearly spinning from giddiness. James let out a laugh.
“No,” he said. “No he won't.”
Regulus didn't even realize he had leapt up until he tackled James in a hug, nearly sending him crashing into the tray of potion ingredients behind him. James grabbed him tightly, burying his face into Regulus’s shoulder.
“I'm so sorry, Reg.” he said, laughter and tears choking his voice. “I'm so sorry you had to go through that.”
“It's okay.” Regulus said faintly. He felt as if he was in a dream, the room seemed to shine in ultraviolet colors. James swayed before his eyes. “It's okay.”
“It was so scary.” James breathed, taking a step back. Regulus nearly fell over, but James grasped his shoulder, holding him upright. “It was so scary watching you fade away. I thought I was going to lose you too.”
Behind them, Madam Pomfrey let out a sob and wrapped Regulus in a hug as well. Her kindly eyes were puffy with tears, and Regulus for the first time appreciated how much stress she had been under the last week.
“You’re so brave, my dear boy.”
Regulus privately thought he wasn't brave at all, but he nodded and grinned. James felt wonderfully warm pressed against his shoulder, and Regulus realized how hard he was clinging to the Gryffindor boy. James’s robes were fresh and soft and smelled exactly like him, a pleasant floral scent that made absolutely no sense to be coming off of James Potter, yet somehow fit him perfectly. He wondered if James held it against him that he missed the Quidditch House Cup.
Before Regulus could ask, the hospital wing door burst open with a loud bang, and Remus Lupin came barreling in.
“Is it true?” he said breathlessly, his eyes flickering from Regulus to Sirius to James with undisguised hope. “Is it true he’s gonna be alright?”
James nodded, the smile on his face brighter than the sunlight that sprinkled the room. Remus let out a breath of relief, walking quickly to Sirius’s bedside and grabbing his motionless hand.
“Thank you” he breathed.
Regulus whispered the words along with him.
“Thank you.”