Forty
February 20th 2000:
“I was thinking maybe we could go to this event at the ministry together. It’s to celebrate Harry’s promotion. It’s Friday night.”
“I can’t on friday. I told my mother I would have dinner with her.”
“Okay.” Hermione was a little defeated. “Oh, I heard that Flourish and Blotts has updated their history section, we should go into Diagon Alley tomorrow and check it out.”
“Don’t you think Ginny would be better company for that?” Draco set his cup on the coffee table in front of him.
“Ginny could care less about Flourish and Blotts. I want to go with you.”
“I just, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Maybe we can go into muggle London and we can check out the new bookshop that’s opening up across from that bakery you like.”
“Yeah, that sounds nice.” Hermione sank into the couch. “What do you think about telling your mother about us on friday?” Draco froze for a moment.
“Granger, I’ve told you. I’m not ready to tell her.”
“But why aren;t you ready? We live together, we sleep in the same bed, we have the sa, friends. Why can’t she know we are dating? We’ve been dating for sixteen months now. That’s almost two years.”
“And my mother has hated muggleborn since she was born.” Draco snapped and Hermione flinched. “I’m sorry. That was harsh. I just, I don't know how to tell her.”
“Do you really think she'll be angry? Or unhappy? It’s a different world now, Draco. She saved Harry’s life. I doubt she hates me that much if she was willing to let Harry defeat Voldemort.”
“I’m not telling her. She’s my mother, I will decide when I want to tell her.”
“Draco, what are we doing?” Draco set his book down on the coffee table and looked at Hermione.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, this, us.” She pointed between the two of them. “What do you see for our future?” Draco couldn’t answer that. “I know we haven’t been together for that long, but I have to know. Do you see a future with me? Can you see us getting married and starting a family?”
“I-i,” Draco stuttered. “I don’t know Hermione. I don’t know what I see for my future. I don’t know.”
“I know what I want. I want to marry you one day. I want to have kids with you. I want to be Minister. And I want to be loved by you for the rest of my life. Do you really have no idea what you want for yourself?”
“In a perfect world, we’d be married already and we would have two kids. A boy and a girl. I have thought about it Hermione but it’s complicated.”
“Why is it complicated? Because of your mother?”
“Yes. Because of my name and my past. Because of who I am and because of who you are.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means you can’t have a death eater boyfriend if you want to be Minister!”
“If it is between you and being minister, I’d choose you with no hesitation.”
“But you shouldn’t! I am bad for you, Hermione! I am not a good person no matter what you try to convince yourself.”
“Draco, what are we doing? You never want to be seen with me in the wizarding world, you don’t want your mother to know about me, you say that we can’t be public because of our past. Where is this going? Where is our relationship going?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think I'm going to spend the night at Harry’s. Give you time to figure it out.” Draco didn’t stop her like she hoped he would. She walked out of the living room and into their bedroom. She packed her bag with enough clothes for the week and disapparated from there. When he heard the pop of her magic, Draco threw his mug against the wall and watched it shatter.
With a wave of his wand, he cleaned the mess up and in a second wave he was appearing in Theo’s living room.
“Bloody hell, mate. Give a lad a warning before popping over.” Theo came out in nothing but trousers.
“I fucked up, Theo.” Draco mumbled and fell to the ground.
“I’ll be right back.” Theo disappeared into his room. Millicent walked out, smiled at Draco and left. “She’s going to get Blaise.” Theo set a glass of firewhiskey in front of Draco. He accepted gratefully before downing it in one sip.
Blaise popped through the floo; “I’m here. What’s wrong?”
“I fucked up.”
“We are going to need more information if we are supposed to help you.”
“During the winter holidays of eighth year, Daphne and I were told we were going to be married. Our parents were arranging a contract. But after she told her parents about her relationship with Daphne and they disowned her, she begged me to agree to marry Astoria instead. Her parents were threatening to marry Astoria off to some old, horrible pureblood. I said I’d marry Astoria in order to protect her from that life.”
“Hemrione doesn’t know, does she? That’s what you mean by you fucked up?” Blaise questioned and Theo refilled everyone’s glass.
“I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell her but everytime I try, I freeze. I have been keeping this secret from her for our whole relationship. She is never going to forgive me. She is going to hate me.”
“Draco, you have to tell her. She deserves to hear it from you. What happens if your mother decides to announce in the Daily Prophet that the Malfoy Heir is getting married?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know.” Draco kept repeating.
“What brought on this breakdown?” Theo asked.
“Hermione and I fought this morning. She asked me why I haven’t told my mother about our relationship and about why we don’t go out in public together.”
“So she thinks you are hiding her from the world? Why did you think that would be a good idea?” Blaise was obviously the smart one in this scenario. Theo continued to fill up Draco’s glass everytime he emptied it.
“I never said I thought it would be a good idea. I just didn’t think about it! I don’t know what to do.”
“You need to break up with Hermione.” Blaise never sugarcoated anything.
“But I don't want to. I love her.”
“Then you need to break your promise to Daphne. You can’t marry Astoria.”
“But I told her I’d protect her sister.”
“Draco, I don’t know what to fucking tell you then. You fucked up. You should have told Hermione about this the moment you found out about it. You have led her on and you have lied to her. She has done nothing but love and defend you. You’re being a fucking idiot.”
“I know, Blaise. I know.”
“Then make your decision and live with it.” Blaise stood up and left.
“Well that was depressing.” Draco glared at Theo. “Here.” Theo passed Draco the bottle and he took a swing of it.
“I have to break up with Hermione.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do. Astoria’s life is on the line.” Theo looked at him questioningly. “She’s infertile.”
“Oh, fuck.” With that, Theo understood. “You have to break up with Hermione.”
June 8th, 2000
“Happy Belated Birthday, Draco.”
“Thank you, Astoria.” The two were walking through the garden’s of Malfoy Manor.
“Draco, thank you for this. I know Daphne told you about my condition.”
“She did. And you will be safe with me, I promise. No one will hurt you.”
“And what of your parents? When they learn that we will not have an heir?”
“My father will never leave Azkaban so I do not care about his opinion. And my mother, we’ll spin a lie.”
“And are you okay with not having an heir?” She was nervous about his answer.
“Well, after our marriage ends I assume I’ll marry another and I’ll receive an heir from her. It’s the way of the purebloods.” He paused. “How are you feeling about it?”
“I’ve known my whole life that I’ll never give birth to my own child. I’ve had a long time to cope with it.” Astoria stopped walking for a moment and turned to him. “Are you still in a relationship with Hermione Granger?”
“I am. Though truth be told, the last few months of our relationship have been rocky. We got into a fight in February.”
“Because of me?”
“No, she doesn’t know.”
“She doesn’t know that you are engaged to me?”
“No. She does not. I was going to tell her before we met today but then she planned a trip for my birthday and there are many other excuses that I can give you.”
“Will you continue your relationship with her once we are married?”
“No. I will end it before then. I am a faithful man, Astoria. I know it may not seem like it, but once we get married, I will never look at another woman. Even if our marriage is not of the conventional type.” Before Astoria could comment, a house-elf appeared in front of them.
“Mistress would like you both in the dining room.”
“Thank you, Mippy.” The house-elf vanished “Would you mind if I apparated us there?”
“No, I don’t.” Draco held his arm out for Astoria to grab and once she did, Draco transported him to the dining room.
“Hello Mother, Mrs. Greengrass.” Draco, ever the gentlemen kissed both women on the hand before pulling a seat out for Astoria at the table.
“How was your walk?” Narcissa asked the young couple.
“It was wonderful. Your gardens are beautiful, Miss Malfoy.”
“Please my dear, call me Narcissa. We are going to be family soon.”
“Narcisa and I decided on a date. You’ll be wed on Christmas day.”
“A perfect day for a wedding.” Astoria gracefully said.
“I agree.”
November 24th, 2000
“How are things with the two of you?” Ginny asked Hermione.
“Better, I think. He’s been spending a lot more time at the Manor so I think he’s getting ready to tell his mother.”
“You’ve been together for two years now. He better be telling her. I don’t know how you’ve been putting up with all of this.” ss
“I mean, we’ve been fighting a lot more, recently. Sometimes it’s the simplest thing that will set him off.”
“I’m sorry, Hermione.”
“It’s fine. I knew our relationship would be hard. I mean as he points out every chance he gets, our past is complicated. I knew our relationship would never be easy. I just thought it would be us against the world and not us against each other and against the world.”
“Do you really think he’s going to tell his mom soon? I mean did you hear about Daphne being disowned? Apparently it happened last year. They’ve been keeping it out of the news.”
“No, I hadn’t heard. Draco never told me that.”
“He might be hesitant because of Daphne. I hear the process of being disowned is brutal.”
“What does it entail?”
“Well, they say that when someone gets burned off their family tree, the person can feel it. The pain of being burned. She gets cut off financially, anything she has ever bought using her family’s money, no longer belongs to her. This means books, clothes, jewelry, everything. She has to return it all to her parents. I think she also is forced to get a new wand, since her parents were the ones who purchased it. And then the obvious, she isn’t allowed to have contact with her family. This means no longer being in her sister’s life.”
“That’s brutal. No wonder Draco has been hesitant. I wish he would have told me about all of that before.”
“It’s not something that’s widely talked about. I honestly just learned all the details myself. Lavender told me about it.”
“It does make sense. I wouldn't want Draco to go through all of that.”
“Could you imagine a poor Draco Malfoy?”
“I would love him if he was poor.”
“How sweet.” Ginny teased Hermione. “It’s nice that he has money though, isn’t it. If you do get married, you’ll never have to worry about a single thing.”
“That’s not how I was raised.”
“I know. You poor, sweet, muggle girl.” Hermione threw her napkin at Ginny and the two broke out into laughter.
“Ginny, I want to marry him.”
“I know you do. But does he know?”
“I think so.”
“Remind him.”
“I will.”
The two friends finished their lunch and went their separate ways.
Hermione decided to walk home in order to clear her mind. She would make sure Draco knew how much she loved him. She would tell him that she will love him no matter what. She understands now why he won’t tell his mother about them. He doesn’t want to lose the relationship he has with his mother. She understands that more than anything. She’d do whatever it took to be in her mother’s arms again. Hermione felt awful for pushing him. She’d do something nice to apologize for it. Maybe she’d break out that green set again. She definitely needed to get him in their bed again, and soon. The last time was two weeks ago after an argument. Their arguments always seem to lead to make up sex.
As Hermione walked into the flat, she immediately felt off. Looking around, she didn’t see anything of Draco’s. His shoes and coats that were usually lined up by the door were done. His pile of books from the coffee table, gone.
“Draco?” She called out looking around for him. She checked the kitchen, his favorite mug was gone. “Draco!” She called out again and walked towards their bedroom. There he sat on the edge of their bed. As she looked around, she saw everything of his was gone. “What’s going on?”
“We’re over, Granger.” His voice was detached.
“What?”
“Our relationship is over.”
“Draco, what’s going on? Why are you doing this? Was it your mother? Did she find out?”
“No. I could never tell her about you. I was never planning to.” Her heart began to sink. “You and I, it never would have worked. I am a Malfoy and you are a muggleborn.” She was shocked by his words. “As the Malfoy heir, I could have never married you. You were stupid enough to believe that I would. I was using you. I never loved you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Believe what you want. It doesn’t take away from what is true.” Hermione held the tears back. She wouldn’t dare let him see her cry.
“I love you, Draco. I know you love me.”
“I never did! I could never love you!”
“Then why waste two years of your life with me! Why wait months just to fuck me?”
“I was bored.” His face showed no emotion. She knew he was using occlumency to block out his emotions. “Goodbye, Granger.”
“Draco,”
“You can keep the flat. I don’t want it.”
“Please don’t do this.” Her voice betrayed her.
“Grow up, Granger. In what world could a Malfoy love a muggleborn? I may not hate you the way I did when I was eleven, but I still could never love you. It’s like my father used to say, ‘Mudbloods are for fucking, not marrying.’” Draco walked out of the room. He didn’t let himself break until he was through the floo.
He was cruel. He had to be. She had to hate him. She had to believe that he wasn’t the man she thought he was.
Hermione went to Ginny the second Draco left their flat. She was a sobbing mess.
“Hermione? What’s wrong?” Harry saw her first.
“Draco, he, he, he…” she couldn’t finish the sentence. She broke down, falling to her knees. Harry ran to her and pulled her into his arms. “He broke up with me.”
“What? Why?”
“He said he never loved me. That he was bored and that’s why he went after me.” Hermione continued to sob. She barely noticed when Ginny ran into the room. “He said ‘how could a Malfoy ever love a muggleborn.’ He hates me. I don’t know what happened!” Hermione knew she shouldn’t tell them the rest of what he said. She wouldn’t tell them he called her a Mudblood.
“I’m going to kill him. I am going to shave his head and then I’m going to kill him.” Ginny grabbed her wand. “Is he still at your place?”
“No, he left. I don’t know where he went. He said I could have the flat.”
“I’ll find him.” Ginny was about to go through the floo.
“No, please. Don’t. Stay here, please. I need you, Gin. I need both of you.” Hermione wrapped her arms around Harry’s neck and sobbed into his shoulder.
“You’re going to stay here. We’ll sell the flat and get you somewhere new to live. Until then, you are staying here.” Hermione didn’t fight Harry's words. She only nodded her head.
December 26th, 2000
“Do not let her see that!” Ginny whisper-yelled at Harry who was reading the Daily Prophet at the table.
“She’s going to find out eventually. Better now than later.” Harry pointed out.
“Fine. Then when she spends the next three days laying on the bathroom floor, you’re the one who is going to be laying with her.”
“I was the one laying with her the first time she was laying on the bathroom floor.” They were interrupted by the sound of Hermione coming into the kitchen.
“Good Morning, Mione.”
“Morning.” She sat at the table with her head in her hands.
“How are you feeling?” Harry asked her.
“The same as when you asked me yesterday.” She snapped. “I’m sorry, Harry.”
“It’s okay.” Harry looked to Ginny who went back to cooking breakfast. “Hermione, I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“Here, just look.” Harry put the newspaper in front of Hermione’s face. She looked up and felt her heart drop.
“He’s married?” The front page of the Daily Prophet showed a picture of Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass, who was now Astoria Malfoy. “Do you think this is why he kept us a secret? He was keeping me on the side while courting her? How did I not know? How did I not notice?”
“The Prophet says they only found out about the wedding on the twenty-fourth. It was a complete surprise to everyone.” Ginny set plates of food in front of both of them.
“He’s a git. He also looks awful.”
“No, he doesn’t” Hermione mumbled, pushing away her breakfast. “I’m going to go back up to bed.”
“Please eat, Hermione. Just a little bit.” Ginny nodded towards the plate in front of her. Herminoe took a few bites of the wonderful breakfast that Ginny made, before going back to lay in bed.
January 8th, 2001
Hermione sat on the floor next to the toilet. Ginny was sitting with her. Harry was waiting outside the door.
“You’ve thrown up every morning this week.”
“I know.”
“When was your last monthly?”
“Early November.”
“Do you want to take a test?”
“No.” Hermione looked at her friend. “Yes. Do you know the magical test?”
“Yes. Do you want me to do it?” Hermione nodded. Ginny took her wand out and waved it over Hermione’s stomach. A pink glow surrounded her abdomen.
“I want a muggle test. I need to make sure.”
“I’ll send Harry out.” Ginny left the bathroom for a moment to send Harry out to the nearest drugstore. Hermione took her own wand and repeated the spell she heard Ginny mumble. The same pink glow appeared.
Harry came back about twenty minutes later. Hermione kicked both Potter’s out as she took the test. As the timer rang, she looked down at the little stick;
“Pregnant.”