Don´t give up on me

Regulus had chickenpox at age 7, burned his left hand at age 9, drowned in a lake at 11, and at 13 fell down a ladder. At all these times his parents were not with him. Sirius was. It was Sirius who reminded him to take his medication, who helped change his bandages, who asked if he was in pain. And he was also there when Sirius got chickenpox a week after him, when he fell out of a tree and broke his arm, or when he got so badly beaten he got a fever. They were themselves, and for a long time it was like that, they didn't need help from other people because they had each other. Until they don't have any more.

It was at age 13 that the first anxiety attacks started, Regulus didn't understand at the time, one moment he was fine and the next he couldn't breathe properly. When the first signs began, the shaking and hard breathing, he ran to isolate himself in the nearest bathroom. It was one of those times that Barty saw him running and went after him, he found Regulus sitting on the bathroom floor and stayed for the next 45 minutes helping him control his breathing. He made Barty promise not to tell anyone. That year, he had five more attacks, Barty stayed with him in three, but none of them were because Regulus asked, in fact he hated that someone else saw him like that.

Crouch broke that barrier, being with him during every attack, knowing exactly what to do. And when things took a turn for the worse at age 15, and he woke up screaming at night, Evan would stand by his bed without saying anything as Barty held him trying to calm him down. Evan never mentioned anything, even when he witnessed some anxiety attacks, and Regulus was grateful for that. Pandora and Dorcas appeared one day suddenly in the dorm, he was red in the face from crying, lying next to Barty, it was after Sirius ran away from home and that day they fought in the hall. They sat on the bed with Evan, who was lying there, and were silent for half an hour. The thing is, Regulus doesn't like to feel vulnerable, to be so incapacitated that he needs help. So he holds up until he knows exactly what to do.

It was during dinner on Thursday that he started to feel sick, sitting at the table with Sirius and his friends he controlled himself, took a deep breath and endured. By the end of the night everything had gone well. Sirius left, he said good night to his friends and went to bed. It was waking up the next day that he felt everything was wrong. Her whole body ached and after trying to stand for three minutes, the first urge to vomit came.

Regulus doesn't remember lying down in the bathroom, but he woke up with Barty on top of him and Pandora in the doorway with a worried look on her face.

“Hey Sleeping Beauty, I thought your hangover days were over” Barty would smile at himself even when his eyes were sad “Come on, let's get up”

"Hm, it hurts!" he complained of Barty's attempt to lift him by the arms, then be carried like a bride to the bed where he huddled in the sheets.

Pandora quickly peppered him with the questions “What are you feeling? Do you want us to call your doctor? Do you have any medicine to take?”

"It's okay, you don't need to..."

“Do you have any idea how scared I was when I found you lying on the bathroom floor?! So don't go with the story that everything is fine” Regulus had his eyes closed but by Pandora's tone of voice he could imagine that her face was red from controlling herself so much, whether it was anger or a desire to cry.

“It's normal, Dra. Pomfrey said that could happen. It will pass” he just wanted to sleep so he didn’t have to feel those pains “It hurts, my head, my body, I can’t get up now”

“It’ fine, we'll stay with you here today. Do you want us to bring you your coffee?" Regulus could feel Barty's presence next to him on the bed

“No, I'm a little nauseous. I just want to sleep.” he wrapped himself even tighter in the sheets.

"Go tell Evan and Dorcas that we're not going down for breakfast today, I'll stay here with him" Barty spoke quietly to Pandora while running his hand through Regulus' hair

“No need, I'm just going to sleep, if I feel anything else I'll call you" he protested, not listening to anything else, except for the body lying next to him "you're an idiot, I'm fine"

“I know, now sleep”

_____________________

"It's cold!" Regulus complained all wrapped up in the bed.The last time Sirius had taken the temperature, it had still been high.

"What now? You want me to go lay with you?" Sirius feigned irritation on the side of the bed, but was worried about his brother getting sick after his idea of a shower in the rain.

Regulus shrugged, not answering, wrapping himself even more in the sheets.

"Make room for me to lie down" Sirius relented when he saw his brother all huddled "you're a crybaby"

____________________

“When did you intend to tell me that the boys are coming to dinner with us today?” Remus asked as he made them coffee

"Dinner?" Sirius was distracted texting Regulus, confirming that everything was okay.

"Lily called me yesterday asking about the wine" When Sirius finally looked at Remus he realized that he was being scrutinized by his boyfriend. “So… how are things going with Regulus? And why are you like this?”

"Like this?" Remus cocked his head, staring at him, "Look, he is with problems, serious problems, so I will… I am trying to help with what I can”

"You said you'd need to stay with them for a few days, what's that going to be? They didn't kill anyone and they're asking for your help to bury the body, right?" Remus asked while he sat at the table across from Sirius

"haha very funny Moony, if that were the case I bet Reggie would call you"

Remus smiled at agreement “So when am I coming with you to visit him?”

“I'll talk to him about it, speaking of him, if he were to write a book what genre do you think it would be?” Sirius asked as he spread jam on toast

Remus arched an eyebrow not understanding that question "What would he write?" If it was his favorite genre, I'd say it was mystery, and well, at college he wrote some poems, do you remember? Why that?"

“The little shit wrote a book, can you believe it?! and he didn't even send me a copy"

"No away, really?" Remus and Regulus had a strange friendship, no one saw them talking, but it was possible to see them exchanging looks that said things that only they could understand. And they had a kind of book club where they exchanged indications or talked of the stories. It was in college, when Reg and James were together, that he found out that his brother-in-law wrote poems, the big cliché was that most of them were for James. When Sirius found out, he was laughed at for a month. “A whole book?”

"Yes, I know" Sirius was indignant "he uses pseudonym and refused me to say the name”

"Probably one of poetry" Remus said already getting up going towards the bedroom "I'll take a look at the last books released that has his style”

“Do you want a ride?” Asked Sirius, who was already in the living room of the apartment getting his things to leave

"It depends. Students are always talking about when you drop me off at school on a motorcycle. So what will it be?” Remus was saying from the hall, and when he arrived in the room to find Sirius already holding the helmets, he sighed in defeat.

____________________

Barty never liked to wake up early. At school it was Regulus or Evan who took turns waking him up. In college, the responsibility fell to Evan, as they took the same subjects. When they got married, Evan could count the times they had breakfast together, and even though he worked at the same place, he only saw her husband after noon. So he wasn't surprised to find Barty sleeping with Regulus instead of monitoring his friend.

He approached the bed trying to wake her husband and checking if Reggie had a fever.

"Hey sunshine" Barty said smiling and without opening her eyes when she felt her husband's affection

"I thought you were going to keep an eye on him" whispered Evan

“But I am” Barty smiled even wider, opening his eyes

"Come on, it's time to wake up and your mom called" Evan said pulling Barty out of bed

Already seated, Barty supported himself by hugging Evan's waist, who was facing him, still lazy. Evan took the opportunity to caress her hair, while looking at Reggie across the bed, still sleeping.

"Pandora told me you found him in the bathroom, did he say anything else to you after she left?"

“He lay down and slept. Do you think we should call someone?"

"Not yet, let's just wait for him to wake up" Evan and Barty looked at Regulus once more before leaving the room.

Regulus woke up two hours later, sat up in bed checking if he was still dizzy. Taking a deep breath, he got up and took a few steps, without pain in his body, without nausea or dizziness. He walked around the room looking at the garden through the window, he remembered that he had a dream about Sirius, when they were children.

Sirius was always so worried when Regulus was sick, he hovered over his brother's bed until he was sure the other was okay. He hid his fear, pretending that he was annoyed at having to take care of his younger brother, but Regulus could see through that.

Regulus was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Icarus meowing behind him. “Hey baby, did anyone remember to feed you today?” He bent down to pick up the cat feeling dizzy in the process, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He heard the meow once more, when he opened his eyes, Icarus was looking at him “I'm fine, I'm fine. Come, let's eat something" he said picking up the cat

On the way to the kitchen he didn't find anyone, but when he got there he surprised Pandora who quickly went towards him, dragging him to sit down.

"Oh, you're up, are you okay? Do you need anything? Are you hungry? I'll call the boys"

“I'm fine, it was just morning sickness, I told you Dr. Pomfrey said that could happen. I'm better now" Regulus could still see her worried look "I'm fine I swear"

"Okay" she said sitting down at the table with him, watching him pick up the toast to eat "I can make tea if you want" Regulus made a noise in agreement. “Your brother called, you are supposed to reply to his messages as soon as you can”

"I'll call him later" he replied petting the cat

“Xeno has a kitten, Narguile, he was supposed to bring it when he comes to visit me” Pandora remembered her boyfriend's kitten, while watching Reggie play with her cat “Maybe they even date, but Narguile is spayed so if you want puppies he'll have to look for another girlfriend” she said to him when she came back with the tea

Regulus blinked at her still trying to understand everything she said “What kind of name is that? Narguile? And another, Icarus is not going to date anyone, much less have children.”

"You're going to let him die alone? That's a little selfish Reggie" she said seriously looking at her friend

Regulus shook his head not believing what kind of conversation he was having "It's too early for that kind of conversation" sipping his tea he continued "And where are the others?"

"Barty and Evan are in the office working, and Dorcas left half an hour ago, she said she's coming over for dinner"

"Okay, can you get some food for him while I call Sirius?" Regulus passed Icarus to her, already getting up from his chair "Did you tell him anything about this morning?"

“Evan thought you wouldn't like it if we told him” she also got up from the chair with the cat on her lap “And he already ate today, isn’t it love”

“Oh, I thought no one remembered. So I'll call Sirius and then the editor, I'll be in the room if you need anything."

"If you feel anything please call us, it was scary to find you like that in the morning" Regulus agreed and left the kitchen

_____________________

Sirius' phone rang in the middle of an interrogation, he had been waiting all morning for news of his brother, so he picked up the phone quickly hoping it was Regulus. James was sitting on his side of the table when he saw his brother's name on the display.

"Sorry man, I have to take this call" he didn't wait for James' answer as he got up and left the room "Hey, everything alright?" he answered the call as soon as he was in the hall

“God, I don't know how many times I'm going to have to answer that question today. Yes Sirius, I'm fine"

He closed his eyes sighing in relief before replying "You just can't be thankful that there are people worried about you"

“And I'm grateful for that, believe that. So anything else?” Sirius rolled his eyes at his brother's attitude.

“Even when you are sick, you are still a little shit”

"Whatever, if you have nothing else to say I'll hang up"

"Did you feel any of those effects your doctor said?"

“Noope”

Another sigh of relief "Great, if you feel anything call me"

“Okay”

“Ah… hm… Remus would like to see you” Sirius closed his eyes, leaning against the wall already expecting Regulus' screams “Before you complained, I just said that you was back, that's all"

Regulus was silent for some time “It has to be this week, before the next session… hm Sunday is good? I know you work during the week”

Sirius was celebrating in the hall when James came out of the interrogation room, looking at him questioning the reason for the party, "It's perfect...we're going to lunch so we can spend more time with you guys. Moony misses all of you, I didn't even tell him the girls are there, and...”

“ I get it, don’t need all that”

“Okay, see you on Sunday then”

"Sirius, it's just Remus, the others... not them"

"Yes, of course"

When the call ended he felt more relieved, his brother was fine, and he wouldn't have to keep another secret from Moony.

“So he really came back?” For a moment Sirius had forgotten James was there.

“Yes, he came back” He stared at his friend, narrowing his eyes

“Good, good for you… and is everything ready for dinner tonight?” Sirius was silent for a few minutes thinking about what to answer, what he wanted to tell James about his brother.

Finally, he just shook his head forgetting that "Moony is making lasagna and Pete is making dessert"

"Lily bought some wine she was supposed to take today" they walked down the hall towards their tables "Are you going to tell me what family problem you got yourself into this time?"

_____________________

Regulus started to write his stories for literature classes, in the beginning it was only adaptations of works classic,until he wrote a small original narrative. It was Evan who found one of them and asked for the continuation of the story. A narrative finished turning into more than fifty thousand words about a psychopath who falls in love with a nurse while in a psychiatric hospital, not knowing that she was a ghost. Evan and Barty were the only ones that read.

His poems started when he was dating James, were small snippets of thoughts he jotted down in a notebook. It was a good era, in which he was in constant happiness. He had never seen James as red as the day he caught him reading one of the poems "This is incredible Reggie. Wow". It became their secret, he let James read some of the poems, and James wouldn't.disturbed when he was with the journal in hand.

Sirius found out by reading one of the worst poems he could have found, was a cliche about how he felt about James. It became a joke for a whole month, with your brother decorating a snippet and proclaiming whenever he saw James and Regulus kiss.

Regulus never thought he would work with this, with his own stories. He discovered the publisher when he returned from France, he started working with translations from the books of French for English. He didn't earn much but liked the job, and no it was like money was an issue for him. That year, he wrote what became the first chapter of his book, and when he presented it to his boss he gained their approval to continue.

The book became a success and ended up becoming a trilogy, to the contrary than he imagined, his bestseller is not a mystery drama or a history of terror, but it is a classic romance drama with triangles loving and heartbreaks.

He is writing the last book, with the point of vista of the  boyfriend, James. If you wondered why that name, he would say it was a coincidence or that the history of James, Betty e August has nothing to relate to his own life. But that's why he didn't use his own name or say the name of the book to people that are not his friends.

“I slept next to him, but only dreamed of you all summer long” Barty pops up back of him reading what he had written “Even that James is an idiot. Tell me he'll be alone in the end please” he threw himself on the bed

"I haven't decided yet, I mean, I think I know how it's going to end but I'm not sure"

“If Betty forgives him, she likes be a cuckold”

“They love each other and August was an accident”

“Does that mean you were an accident?”

"I'm not him" Regulus liked to think that unlike August he really had james

“Whatever” Barty rolled his eyes “You were here all afternoon,we stay worried"

"I feel tired but it's not a big deal" he admitted

Barty stared at him for a while "I hate it when you are on the  way to pretend that everything  is okay” they looked at each other for a while longer before giving up “Dinner is ready Evan told me to call you”

In the kitchen, he found a Pandora furious with Dorcas "I can't believe you did it after we talked so much”

“Hello” Barty greeted Dorcas 

“I just helped her with the studio” Dorcas defended herself

“Oh please tell me another one” Pandora huffed angrily “After all this time I thought I was over her”

“And I did, we are just friends"

"What is happening?" Regulus asked softly to Evan

“We are not friends with ex-girlfriends” refuted Pandora

“Oh I see” Now Regulus knew what had happened

“Marlene again Dorcas?” Barty looked shocked to a friend across the kitchen

“She cheated on you at work, took your job at the magazine and even broke up with you to stay with the editor” Pandora continued to list all the reasons for Drocas to stay away from Marlene

“The part of the publisher was a misunderstanding and you already know that” Dorcas argued increasing to voice

"It doesn't matter" Screamed Pandora

“Calm down” Evan caught the attention of both “Dora is enough and Dorcas,are you sure what  is doing?"

"Are just friends, I don't love her anymore" she said diminished to voice

Barty and Regulus exchanged knowing glances without saying anything.

"And I'm not a Malfoy" Pandora said in denial while getting out of the kitchen.

“Can we eat?” Barty tried to lighten the mood

____________________

In college, following school tradition, Sirius, Remus, James and Peter shared an apartment. They had to learn how to solve things like washing clothes, making food, fixing problems around the house. It was difficult at first, James and Sirius always preferred to pay others to do things for him, as they always had more money. But in the end it worked.

Remus and James were great at preparing any dish that involved pasta, Peter always had a sweet tooth and learned how to make the best desserts. Sirius was surprised that he enjoyed making French dishes, although it reminded him of his parents.

When he and James arrived at the apartment, Lily and Peter were already in the kitchen with Remus.

"Hey babe" James walked towards Lily, kissing her "I thought wine was for dinner"

As Sirius hugged Remus from behind, kissing his neck "My, my Moony"

"Now I remember why I don't like going out with just the four of you" complained Peter

James and Sirius looked at each other before moving towards Peter showering him with hugs and kisses "No need to be jealous, my love" "You know just say the word and I end with lily right away, love"

"Excuse-me?!" Lily feigned mock indignation

“Get out, get out” Peter slammed the two away from them

Laughing Sirius turned back to Remus, "So how was school today? Your students are back talking about how your boyfriend is super sexy and cool?.”

"Did you leave him on a motorcycle?" asked James next to Lily

Remus rolled his eyes "Today I caught five girls stalking your instagram profile in the middle of class"

"Wow, no boys?" asked Lily, exchanging a knowing smile with Sirius.

It was after dinner, when they were in the living room talking about the wedding arrangements, that Lily remembered why they were there.

“Oh, James said you're having trouble with the family, Sirius. Does this have to do with Barty's visit on Monday, is that your brother?" She asked

Sirius looked at Peter and then at Remus, getting serious he replied "Reggie went back to London and needs help with something" he replied taking a sip of his beer shortly after

“That's good, I know you missed him. How long have you not seen him yourself?”

“Is it a health issue? James asked

"Three years Lily, the same time you've been with James"

"Sirius!" Remus drew his attention

The room was silent. Lily and James looked at each other. James looked at his friend, not understanding that attitude.

"And it's not a health issue." After a while the silence was broken with Sirius squirming as he answered James. What caught the attention of friends, especially Remus and Peter who knew that was a tick when he told a lie.

“I met someone” Peter spoke immediately, drawing attention to him “His name is Fabian, we had a few dates and it’s strange you know because I work with his twin brother, but it's working out” and then everyone was looking at him

"This is amazing news Pete" Remus was the first to comment, being happy for his friend.

"What's he like? Tell me everything. Why didn't you tell the girls on Monday?" Lily asked

“Why didn't you bring him today?” James asked

"You have to bring him to get our approval" Sirius said with a smile on his face as he looked at Peter trying to ask if that was true.

Minutes later, James followed Sirius into the kitchen, who had gone to get another drink. “Would you like to tell me what the real problem is, without half an answer. I know you better than anyone else, so don't try to lie to me like you did back in the living room. So….what's Regulus's problem?”

Sirius leaned against the counter, taking a bite of the piece of cake that was there, while James stood in front of him seriously, waiting for an answer.

"It's not your problem anymore" he replied calmly

"What?"

"Regulus's problem, it's no longer your right to know" Sirius tilted his head waiting for his friend's attitude

"What the fuck?" James exploded, even though he tried to keep his voice low, "First there was that aggressive response to Lily and now this."

"Listening.." Sirius walked over to James, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I love you and you are my best friend, but i trusted you with Regulus once and I won't do it again.” he said and walked away afterwards "So don't ask me about him, and now that he's back keep ignoring him like you've done for the last three years and everything will be fine"

"Sirius, I care about..."

“No James”Sirius interrupted his friend "Yes, Regulus is in trouble but I'll be with him to help and that's all you need to know, okay?"

James shook his head in disagreement "I'll be here if you need help"