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Harry narrowed his eyes as Cygnus looked away from him. He wasn’t sure why the other had been sitting there just staring at him. Part of him wanted to think that the other had just zoned out, but he was doubtful. When Cygnus Black was involved, things were never as cut and dry as they should be. He just shook his head, turning to the boy sat beside him. “You figure he’s planning something?” He asked, sounding a bit weary of the idea.
“Maybe, I wouldn’t put it past a snake like him,” Ron answered, eyeing Cygnus. “He’s had it out for you since first year, mate,”
“I don’t think he’s had it out for me, He just doesn’t like me much.” Harry rubbed his eyes under his glasses, giving a soft sigh. “I think it’s ‘cause of that whole thing with his dad and my dad being close. I dunno, I think he doesn’t like any extension of his dad,”
“Yeah, ‘cause he’s a nutter! His dad’s bril!” Ron said, rolling his eyes.
Harry glanced over Cygnus’ way again, his expression not quite discernible. “I think that if he dislikes his dad so much that he doesn’t even like the mention of him, then maybe he has his reasons, y’know?”
Cygnus could hear them, with their overly loud, piss-poor whispered gossip. He sneered as he listened in, wringing his hands under his desk. What right did they have to speculate on his relationship with his father? He hated that bastard for abandoning their family like a selfish coward, that’s all there was to it. And that’s all there would ever be to it. His father was a stain on the family name, and if the likes of Weasley and Potter wanted him then they could have him.
It was a quiet dismissal, with the professor bidding them goodbye from her chair as they all packed their things. Cygnus was the first out, eager to avoid getting caught in the throngs of people all leaving class at the same time. Just a little head-start made a world of difference. Though, apparently not enough difference, as Cygnus heard a familiar voice calling after him. The boy ducked his head and hurried along, hoping that perhaps the crowds would swallow Potter and allow for his escape.
The hope was short-lived as that very boy jogged up behind him and clapped a hand on his shoulder as if they were friends. “Hey! I was calling you back there, you didn’t hear me?”
Cygnus curled his lip, shoving the boy’s hand off of his shoulder coldly. Why in public? Why would this brute approach him so publicly, so friendly. They weren’t friends, weren’t even close. One conversation changed nothing, and Potter running up to him like this was bound to cause gossip if Cygnus didn’t get a handle on the situation. “Yes, I tend to ignore buzzing flies, don’t you?” The boy retorted.
Harry recoiled at that, brows furrowed. “Oi, don’t be so rude, I was just coming to see why you were bloody staring at me,”
“Well, I don’t reckon that’s any of your business, is it?” Cygnus shot back. The longer they stood here, the bigger the pit in his stomach grew. People were going to notice. They’d talk. ‘Cygnus Black seen entertaining the likes of some brutish lion’, he could see it now, it’d be the talk of the school.
“I have to go,” He said coldly, hoping to get the message across.
Harry didn’t falter, offering the other boy a weak smile. “I can walk you to wherever you’re going,”
“As if. Grow a brain, won’t you?” Cygnus said, his tone sharp. “I can’t be seen with the likes of you,”
“We can go somewhere we won’t be seen,” Harry was quick to promise. He just… he had a feeling that Cygnus wasn’t as bad as he portrayed himself to be. He just wanted to check. It would really only take one genuine conversation to tell. The issue was that getting a genuine conversation out of the cold, illusive boy was like pulling teeth.
After a moment, with the halls sparse and emptying more by the second, Harry put his hand on the small of Cygnus’ back. He led the other boy away, into one of the abandoned classrooms.
Cygnus, against his better judgement, followed him. He’d indulge the Potter boy, just this once. Then he’d leave this class and things would return to normal. He would hate Potter, Potter would hate him, and his grandparents would be pleased. And then all of his well thought ideas of how this would go vanished the second Potter opened his mouth.
“Why do you lie so much, Black?”
“I beg your bloody pardon? I’m no liar,”
Harry winced at the rough reaction. Perhaps he should have expected something like that. “Okay, maybe you’re not lying, but you’re always so vague. You blur details on purpose,” He explained, seating himself on top of one of the desks.
Cygnus eyed him for a moment, leaning against the door. “None of you have any rights to my truth, I don’t have to tell you,”
“You don’t have to tell me, but you might want to.” Harry urged. “It can’t be good for stress if you’re not telling anyone,’ The boy watched Cygnus lean against the door, frowning as he tried to ignore just how pretty he thought the other looked. He was always dressed up like a little doll, with his lace, and Velvet, and ruffles. And Harry couldn’t help but think it suited him.
“If I’m to tell a soul, you’re last on the list, Potter,” Cygnus argued. He dug a hand into his pocket, retrieving a silver cigarette case. He took one out and lit it. There were no teachers here, so who was going to tell on him? Potter? He doubted that.
“Why?” Harry asked, “What’s so bad about me?”
“It’s how you’re aligned, my grandparents don’t want me entertaining your type,” Cygnus murmured, taking a slow drag from his smoke. As he exhaled, the smoke plumed up in front of his face.
“Do your grandparents have to know?”
That made Cygnus pause for a moment. How would they know? Obviously, things would have to be kept private, but… No. No buts. He couldn’t afford to think like that. That sort of thinking had gotten his father disowned. Cygnus was so caught up in his thoughts, that he barely noticed Potter approaching him. It wasn’t until the two of them were chest to chest that Cygnus finally took note. He looked up at Potter, furrowing his brow.
“Y’know,” Harry started softly, “I’ve been thinking about that conversation we had a few days back,”
Cygnus felt his stomach churn against his will. “What of it?” he asked, flicking ashes onto the floor.
“I don’t think you believe any of that bullshit they’re spreading.” Harry said, “I think you’re just scared of them,”
The color drained from Cygnus’ cheeks at the accusation. “I’m not afraid of m-“
“Sirius has told me a lot about them,” Harry cut off. “I wouldn’t blame you for being scared, y’know? I reckon it’s alright to be scared of getting hurt,”
“They don’t hurt me. My grandparents love me and want the best for me. My father’s view of them is entirely skewed,” The boy grumbled. He took another drag. He needed it at this point, with all this interrogation.
Harry didn’t buy that at all. If Cygnus wasn’t scared of them, he wouldn’t go pale at the mention of them. He wouldn’t be shaking right now. “Fine, fine, you’re not scared. It’d be alright if you were though, you know? I wouldn’t judge you for it,”
Cygnus met his gaze with a hard glare, but it was hard to keep up with this proper act when Potter was standing right in front of him, demanding honesty. Maybe no one would know, maybe this could be their little secret. There was no one else here, who would know?
“They’d kill me if I disappointed them. They wouldn’t stand for another disowned, disgraced excuse of a head of house.”
Harry grimaced, “Kill you?”
“I’m certain of it,”
“Then you have to get out of there. That’s dangerous, Black. And disgusting, honestly. The idea that they would do that to you is disgusting,”
“Leave? Leaving isn’t an option, Potter. You think they wouldn’t track me down and drag me back anyway?” Cygnus huffed, bringing his cigarette to his lips again.
“So you’re stuck?” Harry asked.
“Yes, I’m stuck,”
Harry gave a sheepish little grin, “I’m stuck too, when I go home over the summers. My Uncle and Aunt are awful to me,”
“Perhaps we aren’t so different then,” Cygnus mused. There is a moment, in between the silence of the classroom and the lull in their conversation, where there might be a way out. Cygnus can see the way out in Potter’s genuine words. And something in his chest tightens. Constricts painfully as he sits with the boy’s words. He had never understood why his grandparents let him go to this school if they didn’t want him associating with these types, but it dawned on him then. In that handful of seconds. It was to test them. To keep someone so close to something whilst forbidding it. It is the ultimate test in obedience.
His father failed that test. Failed so miserably that to this day, his father’s sins hang heavy over his head.
But still, despite the history, despite the predispositions, there is a moment where escape seems possible. Potter is right there, waiting for him to take his hand. Waiting for him to see it doesn’t have to be like this. He could leave that house unscathed.
The thought shakes him to the core. To leave now would spell disownment. Cygnus would never see his family again. But… He would be free. There would be no rules, no fear.. no community, no family. Nothing. He would be completely untethered.
Harry watched as the boy debated with himself, a frown on his lips. “Cygnus,” He said softly. He knew it. He knew it was so much more complicated than he thought. Now, Harry wasn’t too great at complicated issues, but he knew how to handle this one. He knew that Cygnus just needed a little push in the right direction.
Harry leaned in, hand resting against the door Cygnus was leaned up against. He didn’t give the other boy time to react, pressing their lips together firmly.
Cygnus froze. It was like everything stopped all at once when Harry kissed him. It was dangerous. But even so, Cygnus leaned in, fisting his hands in the boy’s lapels to pull him closer. He let all the worrying thoughts fall away. He could pick them up another time.
Harry was laughing as he pulled away, not anything cruel, or mocking, just a bit incredulous. “Merlin,” He mumbled, “Your lips are softer than I imagined,”
Cygnus quirked a brow at him, “It’s called taking care of yourself. You should try it, you brute,”
Harry grinned at that, “Maybe,” He hummed. The boy looked at Cygnus expectantly. “So?”
“So what, Potter? This changes nothing,” He scoffed.
“Liar,” Harry teased, “This changes everything,”
“This changes nothing publicly,” Cygnus amended
“And privately?”
Cygnus glanced up at the boy standing before him, a sheepish smile of his own playing on his expression, “Well, that’s private, isn’t it?”
Harry beamed at that. Sure, it wouldn’t be very conventional at all, but Cygnus was willing to try. And honestly, he wasn’t sure he could ask for anything more. Funny how much changed in just two conversations.