Chapter 1
Harry was in danger and, much to his frustration, Sirius couldn’t get past this infernal woman. As he was shooting spell after spell at his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange, his anger only grew more prominent. She was the only reason he could not properly protect Harry right now, and he was determined to get her out of the way. He was going to make sure he didn’t fuck up again. Lupin being next to the boy was the only thing that kept Sirius from going into a full-blown panic right now, not that he was doing well with the panic portion in the first place. Why was the boy even here?! Damn Dumbledore and his sacrificial nonsense.
The battle against Lestrange wore on, with Sirius dodging left and right and desperately trying to get one of his spells to stick. There was a flash of red light, and he was just a moment too slow. Ah, I fucked up, Sirius thought as he felt himself get blown backwards, towards the one thing in the room that meant a permanent death. There was a moment of pain, and then the world went black as all his dreams were lost.
The first thing Sirius took notice of, once the initial shock had worn off, was how bloody cold it was. Was death supposed to be cold? He thought that death would be a place devoid of any physical feeling. Well, he could always be wrong, had already been wrong several times in the past. Not to mention, it was unknown where the Veil led to. The general assumption was the afterlife, but who would know for sure? None of the people who had fallen in had ever come back. Sirius thrashed around, attempting to scream, use the wand he had stolen, anything to make this cold stop, make the dark go away and to get out of this hell. Hours seemed to pass as he continued to float, for lack of a better term, within the Veil.
After a while, Sirius’ thrashing came to an end, and instead of trying to move, which had been a fruitless endeavor, he decided to start praying to whatever might be out there that Harry was safe. If Harry was okay, then everything would be fine. He had to believe that, especially since he couldn’t protect Harry from Dumbledore. As he continued to pray, Sirius began to dwell on his and Harry’s lot in life, and especially on two people who had caused the many misfortunes that had fallen upon them. Dumbledore, and Peter Pettigrew. If Peter hadn’t betrayed them Lily and James would still be alive, and Harry would never have had to deal with the shit his aunt and uncle had put him through. Not to mention the shit he’d already dealt with during his time at Hogwarts. Harry also wouldn’t have had to deal with those things if Peter hadn’t blown up the street, killing several muggles and giving Dumbledore an opening to not allow a trial. Sirius knew why he’d been framed, of course. How could he not? He was crazy, not stupid, and Dumbledore was a manipulative asshole. Something Sirius had thought on many a time during his tenure in Azkaban. He had refused to give up his right to be Harry’s guardian, and that had interfered with what Dumbledore wanted to do. Maybe it had been stupid to outright refuse when Dumbledore asked, but Sirius knew the kind of people that Lily’s remaining family had become. Petunia Dursley had only become worse with her behavior over the years and being with Vernon had done nothing but encourage it. The so-called spell would have worked well without those abusive assholes, it was how Sacrificial magic worked! It didn’t require the family unless someone interfered with the damn spell. Which Sirius had realized once he escaped from Azkaban that Dumbledore had interfered with it at some point. Harry should have been protected from even the Dursleys, but for some reason the spell was tied to the damn house, not Harry! Dumbledore should have understood how dangerous it was to interfere, especially since Lily never did things in a shoddy fashion. It wasn’t until Sirius had seen how easy it was to manipulate Harry, that he understood why Dumbledore would do such a thing. Dumbledore had purposely created a pawn destined to die, and Sirius had no choice but to go along for fear of an even worse plan.
If only he’d been smarter. If only he’d realized Peter’s betrayal. If only he hadn’t tried to confront Peter instead of focusing on Harry. What a fool he’d been to trust Dumbledore in the past, who had never trusted anyone and used all of them as pawns to his own means. The refusal to communicate was probably the most dangerous part. Working with Dumbledore had by far been one of his worst decisions after escaping Azkaban, even if it had been a necessity at the time. Necessity did not make it any easier. Especially with how blinded everyone seems to be to the man’s true nature! Dumbledore was a Legilimens of the worst kind, and it showed.
Sirius began to growl, or at least tried to. It was nowhere near as satisfying when he couldn’t make a sound. He desperately wanted to help Harry, to protect him from the sacrifice Dumbledore would force Harry to make, but here he was. Floating in the damn Veil. Unable to do anything. Unable to even tell Harry that Dumbledore wasn’t relying on him because he trusted Harry, he was relying on Harry to get him killed! Sirius sighs, desperately wishing that he had another chance to protect Harry, even if he couldn’t save James and Lily. That boy didn’t deserve anything that had happened to him after Dumbledore had been put in charge of his safety. As his thoughts continued to wander, Sirius began to mourn for the future Harry should have had, destroyed by both Voldemort and Dumbledore due to their selfishness and meddling.
Sirius couldn’t tell how much time might’ve passed as he continued floating. A deep chill seemed to have settled into his bones, and for all he knew what felt like hours could have been but a few minutes. Was this what the afterlife in the Veil was like? He thought. It was rather cruel, almost worse than the dementors that had tormented him for ten years. Almost, but not quite. The deafening silence was far better than the screaming and death that surrounded Azkaban. Perhaps death wouldn’t be so bad after all, he thought briefly. Certainly better than what he had had to deal with in the past. The lack of chance to reincarnate to help the war was unfortunate, however. Just then, Sirius heard a loud boom. He jerked his head towards the sound to look for the source, but only saw the darkness that continued to engulf him.
What was that? He wondered. The boom happened again; this time almost deafening. There it was again! Sirius started trying to move towards the direction the sound was coming from again. As he tried to rotate his torso, he found that his body, which had been light just moments before, was heavy and difficult to move. He must still be in the Veil, otherwise the world wouldn’t still be dark, but moving hadn’t been so difficult just moments ago, and it was confusing. Sirius growled as he tried to force his body to move, barely registering that he had actually made a sound. After a few minutes, during which Sirius realized he was lying on something soft, he suddenly felt himself fall with a loud thud.
With a groan, Sirius forced his eyes to open upon discovering that they had apparently been shut. Lovely. As he took time to look around, Sirius realized that he had fallen off a bed. A bed of all things; in the Veil! How strange. He gawked at the walls as he recognized the room he was in, a room that had been destroyed a long time ago. Was this a trick of the Veil? It had to be, this wasn’t possible. He was currently sitting on the floor of a guest room, in a home that had been destroyed 14 years ago. There was another boom, and Sirius gave a startled shout as the photos of the Potters fell to the floor, scattering glass and pieces of wood as they did so. The sharp glass that cut his skin certainly felt real.
“Lily, the wards are failing! Take Harry and run! I’ll try to hold him off!”
Sirius snapped to attention at the sound of James’ voice. Trick or not, he needed to get moving and help. With shaking limbs, (why was he so weak and thin? He had no recollection of ever being like this, even in Azkaban) Sirius dragged himself into a standing position, using the bed as a crutch. Once upright, he attempted to take a step towards the door, only to fall to the floor again. With a growl, he bared his teeth and forced his arms to drag himself towards the open door that led out to the hall. He couldn’t understand why he felt so weak, but now was not the time to ponder. After what felt like hours, Sirius finally made it to the hallway. He could hear fighting downstairs as he slowly made his way towards what he remembered was Harry’s room.
“Lily!” Sirius said as he tried to knock on the door. “Let me...” His voice, which had been extremely quiet, cracked and left him coughing. “Lil- “
The door opened a crack and there she was, her eyes full of relief. “Oh, Sirius, I’m so glad you’re okay!” With a flick of her wand, Lily quickly floated Sirius into the room before she made sure the door was closed and locked. “You have very unfortunate timing however.”
Sirius glanced around the room before he focused on Lily, “What’s going on? Last thing I remember is falling through the damn Veil.” He sighed when his voice came out as barely a whisper.
“The Veil?” Lily said with a gasp, “My word, Sirius, what in the world did those death eaters do to you?”
“What do you-“Just then, there was a loud crack from the direction of the hallway stairs. “Oh god, no time!” Lily shouted. Sirius yelped as Lily dropped the floating spell and ran towards the crib, where little Harry was quietly watching, his eyes full of fear.
“Sorry, Sirius!” Lily yelled as she waved her wand over Harry. A pink light blossomed from the middle of her chest and connected to Harrys before slowly fading away.
Sirius shook his head as he dragged himself towards the crib. “Do what you need to. I’ll do what I can to help.”
Lily turned back towards the door with her wand raised, just as it slammed open. Laughter echoed throughout the room, and the ugliest bastard Sirius had ever had the displeasure of meeting, Voldemort, stepped in. It was odd to see Voldemort look mostly human after what Sirius had seen of him after the graveyard ritual.
“Well, well, well.” Voldemort said as he entered the room. “Hello, Lily.”
“Voldemort.” Lily hissed. “How dare you.”
Voldemort feigned surprise. “How dare I? Have I done something wrong?” His laughter echoed through the room again.
“You’ve done far more than your share.” Sirius growled, using the crib as a crutch to stand and keep Harry from Voldemort’s view. His voice was still quiet, but at least it hadn’t cracked this time.
A mocking gasp. “Sirius, is that you? My goodness, last I’d heard you were in a coma due to our playdate.” Voldemort’s lips curled into a cruel smile. “I’m surprised you woke up.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and I’m surprised you remember. Could’ve sworn you had plenty of playdates since mine.”
Voldemort chuckled. “Mm yes, but yours was so much fun. But alas, I’m getting sidetracked.” The smile disappeared, and Voldemort’s eyes narrowed. “Hand over the boy.”
Sirius raised his chin to look stronger than he felt, and Lily brandished her wand. “No,” they said together, Lily loud and firm, Sirius quiet but just as determined.
“I refuse to give you my son, you monster.” Lily hissed as she flicked her wand. There was a blast of magic and Voldemort casually spun out of the way.
“Temper, Temper.” Voldemort said with a smirk, “I had planned on giving you a chance, as a favor to a friend you see. But, alas,” Voldemort’s expression turned dark, his eyes flashing, “you just had to make me angry.”
“Lily!” Sirius shouted as Voldemort cast a white colored spell. Using the crib as a launching point, Sirius tried to shove Lily out of the way, but he wis too late. When the spell hit her, Lily fell to the ground bleeding profusely, Sirius not far behind as the spell grazed him. Laughter echoed through the room once again, and there was a flash of green light just before an explosion.
Siris yelled as he felt himself get thrown into a wall. He fell to the floor gasping in pain as his mind registered several broken bones. Tears found their way down Sirius’ cheeks from both pain and the realization that, once again, he had failed to save his friends. How pathetic he was. After a few minutes of gasping for air and sobbing, Sirius forced himself to get moving across the now charcoal floor. If he remembered correctly, Harry would be in the corner of the room near his crib. Despite losing his friends for a second time, Sirius didn’t have time to grieve, to acknowledge his wounds. Not yet, he had a kid to protect.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have come sooner; I should have been the Secret Keeper.” He sobbed as he was moving past Lily’s body, grabbing her wand as he did so. His body began to grow colder as he continued to follow the sound of Harry crying. Through sheer force of will, Sirius dragged himself towards the fallen crib where he found Harry whimpering, the lightning bolt fresh on his forehead.
“Don’t worry, Harry,” He mouthed, the only sound from his throat a raspy breath. “I’m coming. You’ll be safe soon.”
The pain Sirius felt was excruciating, and only grew worse as he proceeded to lean himself against the wall and take the soot covered Harry into his lap. Sirius’ vision was blurry, and everything was doubled, maybe tripled. No matter, he would do his duty. Trick of the Veil or not, Sirius was determined to be a proper Godfather this time. Comforting and protecting the child was the first step towards that goal. As his vision began to fade, Sirius hoped he could at least do that much.
To say Remus Lupin was terrified as he apparated into the Potters lawn is an understatement. Three of his best friends were in that house, one in a coma, and it had been attacked. How had it been found? Their Secret Keeper couldn’t speak dammit! As he took in the house, Lupin bit back a sob. The second floor looked like a bomb had gone off wth debris everywhere, and a gaping hole where Harry’s room should have been. He only paused for a moment to cast a spell that would temporarily keep muggles from seeing the house, then he ran towards the front door.
The smell of blood and burning wood was unbearably thick in the air as Remus cautiously made his way through the debris. He headed towards the living room as he did a quick flick of his wand to keep his sharp sense of smell from overwhelming him. The scent had mostly been James, with a hint of Lily in the mix, which did nothing to ease his worries. With a frown Remus continued on. As he pushed open what was left over of the door to the living room, he gasped in horror. James, who was barely recognizable, was embedded in the wall. Burns and several spell marks covered his skin, his limbs splayed in an unnatural way, his eyes glassy and unseeing.
“What did they do to you?” Remus whispered as tears started to form. With a shake of his head, Remus pushed forward towards the stairs. He didn’t have time to cry, not yet. He needed to find the others first.
The stairs were cracked and crumbling in places as Remus attempted to climb them. On the third step, his foot plunged through the wood, trapping his leg up to his knee, and Remus had to fight to get his leg back. The sooner he found the rest of those in the household, the better. The house wouldn’t be standing much longer. Once he made it to the upper hallway, he glanced towards the guest room where Sirius had been sleeping. His priority should be Harry, but he had to check. He had to know. With careful steps, Lupin gently pushed open the door and his eyes widened in shock. Sirius wasn’t there. He should be, but he isn’t. Were they betrayed after all?
It took several moments before Remus noticed the blood on the floor. Was it Sirius’? He quickly used his wand to return his smell, and was overwhelmed by the scents of blood, burning wood, and magic. Remus stumbles into the wall and whines. Why was his sense of smell so sharp? Damn curse. After a few minutes of whining and rubbing his nose, Remus was able to identify the blood. It did indeed belong to Sirius. Another sniff told him that Sirius had gone into Harry’s room, and that Lily and Harry were both there as well. The scent of Lily and Sirius’ blood was worryingly thick in the air, and with a flick of his wand, Remus disabled his sense of smell again, before hurrying towards the nursery. Upon seeing the state of the door, Remus had a feeling he wouldn’t like what he was about to see.
With a deep breath, Remus looked through the splintered entryway, and couldn’t keep from crying out at the scene before him. Lily was splayed on the floor, blood still seeping from a large gash that cut through her abdomen. The oddest thing was the glow that had started to form above her body, however. It was a bright blue light that slowly began to take form as Remus continued to watch. He forced himself to look away from the ghost starting to form and continued to search the room for Sirius and Harry. It didn’t take long for Remus to see Sirius slumped against the wall to the right, little Harry in his lap.
“Remus,” He heard Lily say, her voice wavering and not quite there. “Heal him, quickly! Sirius will die at this rate!”
It was then that Remus noticed the pool of blood next to Sirius growing larger by the second. With a yelp, he quickly raced over and waved his wand over Sirius to cast an emergency healing spell. It wouldn’t do much, but at the very least it would help. Or so he hoped. Remus had to cast the spell three more times before the bleeding slows down, and Sirius groans a little.
“Sirius, can you hear me?”
Sirius groans again, and Remus is relieved to see him attempt to move his arm.
“It’s me, Moony. Stay awake, you hear me? You can’t go to sleep again.” A groan, a mutter, and a blast of magic that suddenly came forth. “Goodness, man. How in the world are you still casting spells in your condition?” Remus gently grabbed the wand. “Come, now. No attacking me. It’s safe.”
“At least his battle instincts are still intact.” Remus heard Lily say. Her bitter laugh was welcome, despite the fact that she was a ghost now.
“Wha ‘appened here?” Remus heard a familiar deep voice say as he yanked the wand from Sirius’ hand. Half dead or not, Sirius had one fierce grip.
“Oh, Hadgrid, thank goodness!” Lily shouted. “Go get Madam Pomfrey, quickly!”
“Good call.” Remus said as he turned towards where the half giant was awkwardly trying to make his way through the debris. “The Madam is one of the few who could handle this. Please, Hagrid.”
“I dunae think I can, Remus. Dumbledore told me to” Hagrid started to say before pausing. “Issat… Sirius?”
“Yes! Hagrid, please! I don’t care what Dumbledore said, we don’t have time!” Lily shouted again, her voice becoming more stable by the second.
Hagrid nodded and disappeared on the turn of his heel. It was but a few moments before he returned, the fussy Madam behind him.
“How serious?” She asked as she rolled up her sleeves.
“Serious enough.” Lily said, her ghostly eyes full of worry.
“I cast a basic healing spell, but it didn’t do much. I had to cast it three times just to slow down the bleeding,” Remus said with a frown as he tucked the wand into his robes. “He looks to have lost a lot of blood, but he’s still somewhat responding.”
“Was he conscious?” the Madam asked as she pulled out her wand
“Attacked me with magic when I talked to him. Don’t worry,” Remus raised his hands as Madam Pomfrey shot a glare his direction. “I already took the wand.”
She nodded and waved her wand over Sirius. There was a flash of light and Madam Pomfrey gasped. “I won’t be able to do much here. There’s dark magic in play. Hagrid!”
“Yes ma’am.”
Remus groaned as he heard muggles shouting outside. Just their luck. The area spell must’ve worn off.
“Carry him, we don’t have much time.” Madam Pomfrey gestured at Lupin. “Come, take the child. Do you have room in your home?”
Remus nodded. “Yes, I also have a spare room if you’d like to bring Sirius there. It should be clean enough.”
It took several stressful hours for Madam Pomfrey to treat Sirius’ wounds. Lily’s ghost floating nearby did nothing to ease Lupins concerns as he tried to calm the child in his arms. Remus had no experience when it came to children, but he must have been doing something right, as Harry was slowly calming down. He sighed as he lay Harry in the crib Lily had brought the year before. The poor child had been through a lot and would probably go through many more challenges before the month was through.
The room smelled strongly of blood, but as the Madam flopped into a chair with a sigh, Remus hoped that the worst was behind them. “How is he, Madam?”
She snorted. “Better than before at least. The man is lucky to be alive. He’s going to need a lot of physical therapy to walk again, between the injury and the coma. He’s a stubborn one though. He’ll be alright.”
“Thank goodness. Can I get you some water? Something to eat?” Remus asked, desperate to do something.
Madam Pomfrey raised her hand. “No, I should get going. I was meeting with Dumbledore just before Hagrid came, and he wanted me to keep him up to date.”
Remus nodded. “Okay. Thank you so much for your help, Madam. Be safe, get some rest.”
Madam Pomfrey stood and patted his shoulder. “Make sure to get some rest yourself. I’ll be back tomorrow.” With a turn of her heel, the Madam is gone.
Remus took a moment to gently touch Sirius’ cheek, who currently lay in a spare cot, deathly pale. “You’ve really done it now, Sirius.”
Lily chuckled. “Isn’t that the truth. I should have been on my way to join James. But here I am, worried sick.”
Remus blinked as he looked at her. “What exactly happened? I remember you saying that you didn’t want to remain in this world, even if it meant leaving Harry behind, but that has obviously changed.”
“It was something Sirius said just before Vodemort came.” Lily said as she reached out to adjust a lock of Sirius’ hair. Her hand passed through him, and she pulled it back towards her chest. “I think he had just woken up. He asked me what was going on, which was understandable. He was asleep for several months and woke up to fighting. But he said that the last thing he remembered was the Veil.”
“The Veil?” Remus held his head in his hands and whined. “What in the world happened to him?”
Lily shook her head. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out.”
“Speaking of what happened to people, Lily. What happened? Your secret keeper was in a coma for goodness’ sake.”
“No, he wasn’t.” Lily frowned. “We hadn’t actually set up a secret keeper until last week.”
“What?” Remus was aghast. “But I thought”
“It was the plan a while ago, but then Sirius fell into that coma, and it fell to the wayside.” Lily said as she wrung her hands. “Dumbledore reminded us of it last week when he heard about Voldemorts plans, and since Sirius was still in his coma, we decided to go with the plan he had suggested before being kidnapped. It just… didn’t work out.”
“Lily, what was his plan? Also, it has been several months! You didn’t think I should know?”
“It was a part of the plan! To fool your enemies, you must fool your friends as well. James was originally against it. But with the danger looming and Sirius showing no signs of waking we had no choice but to go with Sirius’ plan. Most of the Phoenix already believed he was our secret keeper anyway. We just had to choose someone trustworthy, and it would have been fine. But we chose wrong and paid for it.” Lily’s voice shook, and her eyes bright with unshed tears.
Remus had a sinking suspicion, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. “Lily, who was the secret keeper?”
“It was Peter.”
“No! It can’t have been.” Remus cried. “He’s been our friend since Hogwarts.”
“I’m sorry, Remus.” Lily whispered as her tears fell, disappearing once they left her face. “I do not know why, but Peter betrayed us all.”
Once the tears started, Remus could not get them to stop. This wasn’t the time to be crying! He thought as he forcefully rubbed at his cheeks.
“Remus, let them flow. A lot has happened, you cannot keep it pent up.” Lily whispered as she puts her ghostly hand on his shoulder. “You might not get another chance.”
Remus continued to sob as he collapsed into the chair by the cot. His mind kept flashing onto the bodies of James and Lily, and to how Sirius had looked when Remus had first found him. He quietly whimpered as he curled up in the armchair, and finally let himself cry for the dear friends he had lost, and for the one who had just barely survived.
It would be a while before Sirius was allowed to awaken. Not only had the wound been severe, but the man had already been weakened by his coma. He wasn’t easy to keep asleep, however; Sirius naturally started to wake up after two days and any time he even slightly awoke, he thrashed about, reopening his wounds, and often making even more in his struggle. Madame Pomfrey was determined to make sure he stayed asleep to heal, as him being awake would, in her words, be detrimental to his healing process. Unfortunately, whatever happened to him had made Sirius even more resistant to sleeping spells than before. Almost excessively so, Lupin mused with a chuckle as he fed Harry. He could hear her yelling child friendly profanities (which weren’t really profanities, as much as she insisted they were) in the next room, and she was especially not kind when it came to insulting Sirius’ mental capabilities.
“Remus,” Lily called as she floated through the doorway, snapping him from his reverie, “could you help the Madam please? I fear that at this rate she might hex the poor man.”
Remus chuckled and bundled Harry into his arms. “I suppose I should. Has anyone else offered to come assist? The Madam and I really can’t keep doing this alone. It’s been two weeks since either of us got any sleep!”
Lily laughed, “As long as you’re taking care of Harry, you probably won’t get much anyway. He’s fussy when he isn’t nervous. As for assistance, you’ll have to ask Dumbledore. Madam Pomfrey said he would be here this afternoon.”
“Again?” Remus groaned as he entered the room where they were keeping Sirius for the time being. “How much do you want to bet he’s going to try and take Harry again?”
Upon seeing him, Madam Pomfrey flung her hands in the air and stormed off, shouting “He’s your problem now!” over her shoulder as she left. Lily laughed again, which caused Harry to start babbling. Having Lily there had helped immensely with comforting the child, even if he still got upset at not being able to touch her. Remus took a moment to set Harry down in the play area he had set up in the corner of the room before turning to give Sirius a proper look. The man’s face was scrunched up in pain, which told Lupin that the Madams spell was close to being broken again, much to his chagrin. With a sigh, Remus pulled out his wand and cast the spell three times in succession, watching with a bitter grin as Sirius’ face began to relax again.
“Goodness, Mr. Lupin. I wish my spells were anywhere near as effective,” The Madam said as she walked back into the room with a cup of tea. “Took me ten tries just to get him to stop moving.”
Remus shrugged, “I think it has more to do with recognition at this point. Everyone who has tried can’t seem to make it stick. It’s strange though, he didn’t used to be anywhere near as resistant to the spell. It used to take a few tries, sure, but at least 13? Only three of which are mine? Is a tad excessive.” Lily hummed in agreement.
“Well, it’s a shame is what it is. We’ve lost most of our volunteers before they attempt due to the man’s stubborn nature. It also makes me wonder what happened to the poor man before his coma, if what you say is true.” Madam Pomfrey frowned. “I suppose we may never know.”
Remus shook his head. He supposed not, especially since Dumbledore, a very talented legilimens, had tried to invade Sirius’ mind using legilimency and hadn’t even managed to poke at it before quite literally being flung across the room. He had a feeling that he could, if he tried, but Remus hated invading others privacy. He had actually kicked Dumbledore out of his apartment that day for that little stunt.
“Probably not.” Lily said, looking up from where she’d been playing with Harry. “He still won’t talk about how his parents treated him in school, I highly doubt he’ll talk much about this.”
“So, when will he be allowed to wake up?” Remus asked in a bid to change the subject.
Madam Pomfrey snorted. “I plan on letting him wake up tomorrow. I’ve managed to heal a good majority of his wounds, and the one on his leg is finally healed enough that he should be able to move on the mattress without much difficulty. Going to hurt a lot when he wakes up though.”
When Sirius had first tried to wake up, he had panicked due to the darkness that surrounded him. For a brief moment he thought he’d been in the veil, and before he could register otherwise, his brain forced him to dream. This happened several times, with Sirius fighting more and more against the blasted spells that people kept using on him. He could only faintly register that Moony was among them, and that didn’t make any blasted sense if he was still in the Veil. Was he in the Veil? It was hard to keep his thoughts, they kept fading right as the thought them and it was frustrating. Having someone try to intrude upon his thoughts had been annoying as well, and Sirius was getting sick of the ridiculousness. Just as he’d been sick of the dementors, in point of fact. So, every time the opportunity arose, Sirius pushed hard to awaken.
“Look, I think he’s coming to.” Sirius heard a whisper.
“Try not to be too loud, he’s probably going to have a massive headache from the number of times we put him to sleep.” Another voice, who Sirius recognized as Moony, said quietly.
The previous speaker snorted. “If he’s lucky.”
“I just hope he wakes up soon. He’s been out of it for two weeks after all.” Another voice. Wait… two weeks?! What had happened?
“We’ll just have to wait and see. I’d imagine the time it’s taking has to do with the aftereffect of so many sleep spells.” The first voice he’d heard again. Was that the Madam? She sounded different.
“Hush up, I’m working on it.” Sirius mumbled.
“Sirius?” Moony said softly.
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” Sirius said as he fought with his eyelids. If what they were saying was true, then he’d been asleep long enough dammit. He managed to open them briefly, only to groan in pain as the light made his head start pounding. “Wha th hell”
There was a familiar soft laugh. “Take your time. Once you feel well enough, we can give you some potions to help with the pain.”
Sirius groaned more as he registered that his entire body was aching. Dear god, had they put him under a sleep spell or something? It would certainly explain the headache. “I feel like a hippogriff threw me off its back,” He muttered. He’d experienced that with Witherwings twice, and this felt pretty close. Most of the pain seemed to be coming from his right leg however, which was a tad odd. When had he injured it?
Moony laughed this time. “How would you even know what that feels like?"
“You should know, you were there.” Sirius said with a frown. Moony had been the main one laughing at him when it had happened for a second time. Him and... HARRY! Sirius’ eyes shot open, and he immediately started struggling to get up. “Where’s Harry? Is he ok?”
“Mr. Black, you need to remain lying down.” A blurry Madam Pomfrey, who looked younger than the last time Sirius had seen her, gently kept him pinned.
“Harry is fine, Sirius.” Moony said. Sirius looked in his direction, and Moony also looked far younger than the last time he’d seen him. “Matter of fact,” Moony leaned down and lifted up a small child with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead, “He’s right here. You protected him until help arrived.”
Sirius relaxed a little, still confused. “He’s so small.”
“Of course, he’s small, he’s a baby,” The soft laughter again. Sirius looked towards where it was coming from and gaped at what he saw. This... this was impossible! Lily Potter was a ghost and looking at him with a smile. But that didn’t make sense, Lily had chosen to move on… It was then that Sirius remembered. The Veil. He had managed to go back in time! And he’d already changed it, from the looks of things. Unless this was all his mind tricking him again.
Sirius just stared at everyone around him for a few seconds before his head started pounding again and he was forced to close his eyes. Someone started to assist Sirius in sitting up, which made the aches and pains of his body more severe, but at least he was sitting now. “Where… Where are we? And why is the Madam here?”
“Mr. Black, you were severely injured. Of course I am here.” Sirius heard Madam Pomfrey say. “And may I say, you have outdone yourself this time.”
Sirius’ mind flashed on when he’d been thrown into a wall but couldn’t make sense of it. Those injuries wouldn’t have been that bad. “Y’mean when I was flung into a wall? Couldn’t be helped, Voldemort blew up. Unless all my scratches got infected from crawling on the debris.” That still wouldn’t have counted as severe though. Not by the Madam’s standards at least.
“That and losing your leg.” The Madam said primly. Sirius felt glass against his lips and drank the healing potion gratefully.
“What do you mean losing my leg?” He asked after he finished. The headache was fading, and Sirius was glad he could open his eyes again. “I can still feel the damn thing, it hurts like hell.”
Madam Pomphrey’s eyes filled with tears. “No, my dear boy, it’s not.”
Sirius frowned. “If it’s not there then why the hell does it hurt so bad? Makes no sense.” He watched as Madam Pomfrey quietly moved the blanket where his leg was and stared in horror. His upper thigh was wrapped thickly with bandages, and where his lower leg should have been was instead an empty space.
“You’ll be dealing with that pain for the rest of your life, I’m afraid.” Madam Pomfrey said. Sirius’ shoulder felt cold, and he looked over to see a ghostly hand gripping it. “It’s called a phantom limb, and it’s a phenomenon that often happens when someone loses their limbs. When the Potters were attacked, I’m afraid you were hit by a Dark spell, and it severed your leg.”
Sirius gaped at the Madam. “But I was never…” That’s it. The spell that hit Lily. The one he thought had grazed him. It must’ve been then. He quietly stared at the space where his leg should be as his brain tried to wrap around the fact that this had to be real. He had never lost a leg before, and he doubted his mind could make this shit up.
“Sirius, it’ll be okay. We’ll find a way for you to walk again.” Moony said after a few minutes of silence, “In the meantime, it’ll just be a bit of a hassle.”
“I suppose it’s better than darkness for eternity.” Sirius murmured. He softly patted the empty space. “It’s going to take a long time for me to get used the this though.”
“I’m going to change your bandage,” The Madam said as she pulled out her wand. “Mrs. Potter, Mr. Lupin, you’d probably be best for answering any questions he might have.”
Sirius forced himself to look away from his leg, and found himself starting at tiny Harry, who seemed to be quite content with sitting on Moonys lap. “He’s not going to the Dursleys is he? I think I heard something about it.”
Lily shook her head as she floated to be next to Moony and into Sirius’ vision proper, “No, I refused to let Dumbledore take him until you woke up, and Remus helped me with that regard. The man must be insane, trying to pawn Harry off on my sister!”
Sirius laughed and groaned (as Madam Pomfrey snapped at him to stay still), “That is certainly true. The man has always been a tad out there.”
“Even so,” Lily said, “My sister doesn’t’ deserve that kind of surprise, especially with her attitude towards me and that man as her husband.”
Moony nodded. “At least he can’t do anything until Harry’s legal guardian gives permission. Hard to argue about the semantics of a will when the person who wrote it is right there.”
Sirius grinned. “I take it Lily used the laws against him during the hearing?”
Moony smirked, “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces,” Sirius said with a broad grin, “I’ll be taking Harry; those bastards can fuck off.”
“Mr. Black, kindly watch your language.” Madam Pomfrey said. Sirius glanced towards her to see that she had finished with the bandages and was now scowling at him. Despite her tone, there is no anger in her eyes. “I’ll be back, I need to inform Dumbledore that you’ve woken up. Don’t. Move.”
“Don’t think I could if I wanted to.” Sirius chuckled and winced. That hurt. He quietly watched as Madam Pomfrey left the room before looking at Moony. “Are you sure it’s been two weeks? I still hurt like hell.”
Moony chuckled, “You were thrashing in your sleep quite a bit. Reopened several injuries, and even caused a few more whenever you managed to somewhat wake up. The Madame was not happy, let me tell you.”
Sirius blinked. Boy was he glad he could barely remember any of that. “Explains the headache. How many times did she have to use the sleeping spell? Can’t imagine I would’ve kept sleeping draught down.”
“She and several others had to cast it numerous times over the past two weeks. Your resistance went up again.” Lily laughed.
Sirius grinned. “No surprise there.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, during which Sirius took a chance to look around. He marveled that he was in Moony’s old apartment. It had been abandoned by the time Sirius escaped Azkaban, and he had never learned why. He really had gone back in time.
“Sirius, what happened to you?” Lily said, breaking the silence.
“Do you know how worried we were?” Moony asked as Sirius remained silent, “Between your coma and this, I really don’t know what to do with you.”
Sirius frowned. “What do you mean, coma?”
“You were in a coma for three months before the night Voldemort attacked Lily and James.” Moony said as Harry grabbed at his hand. “I found you collapsed in front of the booth we had agreed to meet up at. I was so worried.” Moony bit back a sob as Lily put her hand on his shoulder. “Lily and James helped me get you to their place. No one could figure out what had happened. There were no traces of Dark magic, and there were no signs of injury.”
Sirius sighed, unsure of what to do. The coma had definitely not happened before, and he had a feeling that it was related to being pushed into the Veil.
“Sirius, what happened that night? We were all in a tizzy trying to find who had attacked you.” Lily said as Moony played with Harry to distract himself.
Sirius shook his head. “I’m honestly not sure. I’m sorry.” Best to keep the time travel a secret for now. He had a feeling that they were being monitored. There was probably a legilimens nearby as well, judging by his worsening headache.
Moony took a shaky breath, “That’s okay. For now, we’ll just count our blessings that you woke up at all.”
Lily nodded as she brushed her ghostly hand over Sirius’ forehead. It was chilly, but also nice, and Sirius leaned his head into it. “For now, yes. Hopefully you will remember more with time.” She whispered.
Sirius sighed and wished he could tell his friends what had happened. Not now, it wasn't safe. "I hope so."