You're A Slippery Slope

Regulus woke up that morning to Evan throwing pillows and blankets at him 

“Get up you absolute muppet.You will be late to breakfast.” He could hear Barty laughing in the distance. Regulus rolled over and squeezed the pillow to his chest.

“I don’t want to drag you out of bed.” Evan grabbed a pillow off Barty’s bed and threw it at the back of Reg’s head. 

“Then don't.” Regulus groaned and rubbed his head. Barty snorted.

“C’mon you laze. Evan’s resorted to using my bed as ammo and I don't want to re-make it.” 

“Barty-” Evan chuckled, “your bed’s not even made!”

Barty gestured wildly with his hands, “it's not like he knows that!”

“Well he does now!”

“Don't you think I know that? I- Was I not just here with you when you told him?”

“Merlin, be quiet!” Regulus sandwiched his head between two pillows. 

“No!” Barty and Evan said in unison. 

“Then for my sake, kindly, shut up.” Caius, one of their roommates, chimed in. 

“No one will do anything for your sake Caius.” Evan shot back in a joking tone. 

“I haven't done anything wrong!” Caius exclaimed. 

“YOU DATED YOUR COUSIN!” Barty cackled, “you literal cousin!”

“I DIDN'T KNOW!” he threw his hands up as if to shrug. 

“Hey,” Evan waved his hands about, “let's not bring Dorcas into this. Alright?”

“Alright my bad.” Barty scoffed. 

“Now. Back to the matter at hand,” Evan threw Barty’s blanket on top of Reg. 

“Stop” Regulus stretched. 

“You’re only going to make him more comfortable,” Caius sighed, “you have to take his blankets away - not give him more, you sod.” Regulus tightened his grip on the sheets. 

Barty walked over to the bed and grabbed the edge of a blanket, “may I?” he asked Evan. 

“Oh well of course,” Evan bowed and raised his head nobly. Barty didn’t hesitate a second to tear the blankets away and throw them behind him - effectively hitting the thing behind him. Or rather the human. 

“Really Barty?” Evan’s voice came out muffled as he struggled to find the way out of the blankets. Regulus shivered and curled himself further into a ball. 

“Forget knowing the history of magic,” Barty grinned, “waking Reg up is the hardest thing I've done.” Barty began walking around, collecting his books and things that were scattered about the room. 

“Well, I wish you all the luck,” Caius winked and walked out the dorm. 

“Reg c’mon it's been long enough.” Evan bent over and shook Reg’s shoulder. 

Regulus squirmed away, “ah your hands are so cold.” Evan put his palm on Reg’s face and snorted. 

“Stop it!” Regulus wiggled away from Evan and slid off the bed. Reg leaned his back over the matrice and looked at the ceiling. 

“Well that got him up.” 

Evan bent over and stuck his face in Regulus’s. 

“Redge are you alright? You look quite pale,” he held up a hand to Regulus’s forehead. Not looking away from him, Evan grabbed Barty’s sleeve and dragged him over too. He lifted Barty’s hand to Reg’s forehead and waited for the second opinion. 

“Well he does feel a bit hot.” Regulus swatted their hands away and Evan knitted his eyebrows. 

“I’m fine,” he said, “I promise,” he added for good measure. Evan just stood there for a moment assessing if he should let Reg go to class or to the nurse. 

“You’re certain?” Evan questioned. 

“Mhm.”

“I dunno Redge.” Evan stood up.

Barty shuffled through his books, put his hand on Evan’s shoulder, and shook it a bit, “stop bashing the kid Ev. He said he’s fine - have some faith in the git.” Evan narrowed his eyes and eventually gave in. 

“Fine. But if you get worse,” he pointed a finger at Reg, “you go straight to the hospital wing, alright?”

“Alright Evan,” Regulus appeased him. 

“Alright. Well. Good talk an’ all, but we should really be going. Meet you at breakfast Reg?” Barty began walking through the door, dragging Evan behind him. 

“I’ll be there,” Regulus yelled after them. 

The dorm room was quite peaceful without the commotion of Barty and Evan. Caius wasn’t all that bad - he tended to stick to his own thoughts than to converse with others. Regulus could respect that. Evan might have had some well backed up concerns for Regulus though. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and enjoying the cold air on his bare skin, he got up and looked in the mirror. He was a ghost with purple gouges for eyes. 

Regulus stumbled back and landed on Barty’s bed. He looked like his mother. His overgrown hair resembled that old photo of her when she was 12. He had the same dead stare. The same beauty marks and the same eyes. He buried his head in his knees. 

Dorcas appeared in the doorway. She had a somber expression on her face and her head was tilted to the side as if perplexed. Regulus didn't even realize she was there. He didn't notice how much time had passed. 

“Marlene sent me to check on you.” Her voice was softer than the finest of silks and held no note of arrogance or superiority. Regulus slowly lifted his head and gave her a tired glance. 

“I expected you to be in more than just boxers.” Dorcas said and averted her eyes. 

“Oh yeah,” Regulus looked around and picked up a dirty pair of pants from his laundry pile, “sorry Dorcas.”

He buttoned the pants while walking over to his dresser and grabbing a clean shirt. 

“Breakfast just ended. Marlene would have come herself but the proctors were chatting outside the entrance.”

Regulus grabbed a comb and quickly ran it through his hair, “ah I see. Thanks Dorcas.” 

Dorcas couldn't help but notice the slight shake in his tone. She tried to hold his gaze, but it kept shifting around the room for no apparent reason. 

“Are you alright Regulus?” she fidgeted with her fingers. He turned away from her in search of socks. 

“Yeah all good here, just tell Marlene I’ll be out in a moment to walk to potions.” 

Dorcas nodded and hesitated a second, “Regulus, if you need anything-” she paused. “If you need anything there will always be people willing to help.” She then turned, and walked out the door. 

Regulus frantically got his things together and ran out the door a few minutes after Dorcas left. When he left the common room Marlene was standing there talking to some poor hufflepuff about charms. 

“Oh hi Reg,” she smiled, “I was just telling Jerry over here about charms,” she pointed to Jerry. 

“Very interesting,” he grabbed her shoulder and began pushing her towards potions class. 

“They actually are quite useful!” She hollered Jerry, but he was already out of earshot. 

“Well you’re in a mood this morning,” she elbowed his side and he winced. Marlene's eyes went wide. 

“I’m not a doctor, but I’m almost certain that you’re not supposed to wince when someone nudges you in the side.” 

“You need to learn to leave things alone,” he rolled up his sleeves and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Oh is that right? So should I no longer wait for your slow ass to get out of bed so we can walk to potions? Should I have just left you? Cuz if i didn't tell Dorcas to check up on you I’m almost certain you wouldn't have gone to class at all.” She retorted. 

“Fair enough.” He breathed, “some things.” 

“Fine. Just this once. But I swear to Merlin if you ask me to leave something alone again I will only invest more interest in it.” She opened the door to potions and filtered through behind Regulus.

As soon as they took their seats class began. They were covering chapter 34 in Advanced Potion Making by Libatius Borage and chapter 5 of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore. Both required texts and both extremely boring, but James had memorized them - and by extension Regulus. 

“Who here knows what a Herbivicus Charm is?” Professor Slughorn looked up from his notes as the regular hand lazily rose in the air. 

“Yes James?” He sighed. 

“Well professor,” James leaned forward and knit his hands together, “ the Herbivicus charm is used to increase the growth of plants. The charm looks like a green light that connects the plant to the wand and grows when you move the wand in a circular motion.”

“Hm,” Slughorn nodded, “does anyone know the mistake Potter made?” Regulus’s hand rose as nonchalantly as he could. 

“Yes Mr. Black?”

“Well,” he copied James' mannerisms and tone. Leaning forward and knitting his hands together, he continued, “the path of motion the wand should go is down, then up, then down again,” he demonstrated with his finger, “in a fluid like motion rather than that of a circle. I think James was getting confused with the Herbvoticus charm in chapter 7 which strengthens the roots of plants.” He glanced at James and smirked at his shocked reaction. James took a moment to gather himself. 

“That’s right, my bad professor. It’s hard to keep up with all those… minute details.” James rose his head. 

“I’m sure it is Potter,” Slughorn turned to the next page. 

“Thanks for correcting me… Mr. Black.” He mocked and grinned with all his cockiness. Regulus shot him a look. He heard Marlene chuckle next to him and try to stifle it by covering her mouth. Regulus kicked her shin and turned back to the front of the class. 

The rest of the day, leading up to lunch, Regulus got these heat spells. He would be fine, then seemingly out of the blue get abnormally hot and sweat a bunch. He would also shake, and he would have hid it pretty well if it wasn’t for the fact he was too dizzy to walk to lunch. He brushed it off as wanting to ask the history of magic teachers questions about the recent lesson, but Marlene and the others had their suspicions. 

It got really bad during last period. Ironically, the only class he had with Sirius. Sirius who resented Reg in every way possible. Sirius who was mad at Regulus because he was the son Sirius could never be. The perfect child that followed every single one of their parents' miniscule rules and expectations. Sirius thought that he had saved Reg from that house and the torment. So how did someone so small and fragile end up like this? Sirius thought. How did a kid who used to speak in a shared secret language now give him side-eye and blankly listen to the very people who continuously hurt him? Sirius would never understand how Regulus went from a child who he could have conversations with through mere looks, to a stranger. 

This wasn’t one-sided of course. Regulus hated him. And he hated James. And Remus and Peter and all the people who took his brother from him. He mostly hated Sirius. He left him in that place by himself. Yes, Sirius knew their parents. But he didn’t know how their tempers shortened when he left. How all their expectations for both sons were put on one. That the only option to staying unharmed was to be quiet and listen. 

Regulus swallowed and sat frozen, eyes wide and staring at the page before him. After a few strained breaths he raised a shaky hand and excused himself to the bathroom. He tried to keep his eyes down and avoid the stares, but he failed. His eyes searched for comfort, for familiarity, and he found it in Sirius. 

As if reflex, Sirius stood up. James nudged his side with his elbow and whispered ‘sit down’. Only then did he realize what he was actually doing. He sat and his hand flew to his face - covering his mouth. He stared at the board in deep thought; though everyone knew he never paid attention to class. His leg shook the table and the little vial’s green substance began to bubble. His mind was battling. That look Regulus gave him. His eyes. Regulus was sick somehow and Sirius wanted to hold him in his arms and tell him how everything would be alright. Regulus despises him now. He absolutely hates Sirius and Sirius has no idea as to why. Sirius sighed. Regulus hated being sick. He hated the commotion it caused - he didn't like altering people's days or the attention of it all. If Sirius got up he would be mad. Then why did he look? It was clearly a cry for help. No. He wouldn't want him to move. Sirius would stay put. 

Sirius ran. He skipped down the steps to the door and almost fell through it causing him to stumble forwards and fall into another student. He didn't look - didn’t say sorry. His mind was on a mission and mere politeness wasn’t going to stop him. He found the nearest bathroom and blew through the doors - gaining a stare from a kid washing his hands. He hated the fact that he no longer knew the brother he basically raised. But that look - that look wasn't the stone cold Regulus who would drown under the pressure of family. It was the three year old boy who had cried for Sirius after scraping his knee. The kid who Sirius once protected from every inconvenience. The one who Sirius checked the closet for monsters for and the one he tucked into bed at night. That look wasn't Regulus. It was Reggie - it was Reg. And it was the only glimpse of Reg Sirius had gotten in years. He had lost Reg once and if there was any chance that three year old boy still existed - Sirius would save him. 

The air in the bathroom was stale. Almost as if no one had been in there for decades. Like the room was made of dust - one sneeze and the atmosphere could collapse. Sirius hesitated before nudging open a stall door, and the next one, and the next one. The last one was locked. Sirius could hear muffled sniffles coming from the other side. 

“Reggie?” The sniffles subsided. Regulus was holding his breath. 

“Reg ar-” Sirius shifted on his feet and talked to the stall door, “are you alright?”

The only noise was the boy who was washing his hands leaving and the door slamming shut behind him. 

“Reg I-”

“Go back to class Sirius.” Reg grit through his teeth. 

“Rather not - I don't learn in that class anyways Professor Sprout wouldn't be able to properly teach the alphabet if she tried.” Sirius chuckled.  

There was a moment of silence before, “then skip class somewhere else.” Sirius frowned. He sighed, louder than he normally would, so that Regulus would hear him. Both brothers were sunk to the floor. The only thing that separated them was the stall door in which they both leaned on. 

Reg coughed and, again, tried to stifle it. 

Sirius’s head immediately perked up, “Reg, it would be much easier for me to help you if you’d actually open the door.”

“Have you-” Reg swallowed, “considered the very probable possibility that I don't want your help?”

“Yes. And I’ve decided to ignore it.” Sirius triumphantly announced. 

“I don’t want you here, Sirius. I don’t need you here.” 

Sirius swiped his foot across the floor, “but I’m already here and I have no motivations to leave.” Regulus began to laugh. It half sounded like he was choking- but it was a laugh nonetheless, so Sirius took it as a win. Even though Sirius didn’t understand the butt of the joke, he still chuckled. As soon as Regulus heard his brother's laughter he stopped. 

“Don’t worry, I assure you. You already have your motivations and you’ve already left.” Regulus said crudely. 

“Reggie I-”

“I’ve managed without you and I can do it again. So go run along then, yeah?” 

Regulus could hear Sirius stand up and turn around. 

“You fucking blighter. I skipped class to comfort you, you know that? I’m gonna get in trouble with Professor Sprout and probably get another idiotic detention all because I came running after you to be a good brother.”

“I didn’t ask you too!” Regulus snapped back, “You have some fucking superiority complex. I. Don’t. Need. To. Be. Saved. I didn’t ask for your comfort nor do I want it- and- and you ruined your chances of being a good brother long ago so stop trying to make up for it.”

“Now that was uncalled for.”

“Was it?” Regulus winced.

“Yeah I’ve done nothing but protect you just for you to turn out like Walburga.” Sirius heard something slide and fall to the floor. Regulus didn’t respond. 

“Reg?” He panicked. 

“Reggie are you alright?” Sirius knocked on the door. 

“Fuck.” These were the stalls that had doors running from the floor to the ceiling, only leaving a small gap at the top. Sirius rolled up his sleeves and waltzed into the next stall. He climbed on the toilet and then onto the toilet paper dispenser. He jumped up and squeezed himself over the gap before nearly falling atop a passed out Regulus.